My thoughts and perhaps some kinky fun

I havent been posting much on the Mansion of late, my libido took a dive and play all but stopped, any sex went from once a day to once a week. Any feminine feelings I had have all but gone, perhaps it was a phase? I just dont know.

For those who havent read my previous diaries over the past year or so I once saw myself as a sissy and put a lot of time, effort and money into trying to become a sissy. All that pretty much stopped about two weeks ago. My feminine feeling disappeared along with my libido.

Now that my libido has come back to some extent I though I would try and start updating my diary again but as my fem feelings havent come back I though I would start my diary with a more general title. At this moment in time I back to being Masters sub and am willing to go back to Masters dog slave.

Yesterday I had a sudden burst of hornyness and before we went out for the night, I pulled out my leather dog hood from amongst the toys and gestured to Master to put it on me. He couldnt resist and in no time at all he was fucking me like a dog, pulling hard on the lead and making me growl like an animal. It felt amazing, I had forgot how good it feels to become animalistic and just forget about the real world for even a brief time.

Im not sure why I decided all of a sudden to get the hood out but perhaps I still have urges to go back to how I used to be. Before I had ever considered becoming a sissy I was a 24/7 slave to Master and would often be treated like a dog, drinking out of a bowl and even wearing a butt plug dog tail, it was a good time for us both.

Im not sure where my sissy persona has gone and Im not claiming that I will never have urges to dress up in womans clothing again but for the moment Im just taking things as they come and not forcing anything. Living for the moment you could say.

 

Thanks for the advice gurls. I defiantly won’t be throwing anything out.

Master seems a lot happier now, I think he’s loving having his dog back. He’s a lot more dominant and controlling also, likes to talk dirty too which I like a lot. I seem to like it now Master is a lot more dominant, he’s all confident and sure of himself which all helps towards my own submission.

I defiantly still have a sissy side to me but it’s less sexual now. For instance I still like to use my girl spray and shower gel, just little thing like that remind me of my desires. Not that I’m pushing them away but I’m not thinking to myself I want to be sissy, I must be training. I’m more content just to let things happen.

I can see us both having a lot more play now that I’m back to being a dog. It’s as if Master knows what to do with me and can come more easily come up with ideas of what to do to me. He’s already started saving up for an new tail for me, this does involve him giving up or at least cutting down on the smoking. An added bonus for him is that for every day he doesn’t smoke I have to at the least give him a blow job.

I’ll leave it there for now. I hope to have lots more to report in the cuming weeks.

 

Well it’s been awhile since I updated my diary. Last week there was a massive storm which fried my network card, rather strangely when my PC was turned off even at the plug the surge travelled up network cable via the hub. Anyway Master and I went camping over the weekend before I could get a chance to fix it.

The trip was a nice break, only the weekend but it was good to get away for a few days. For the most part we drank and ate and went around Wales but Master and I did manage to kink. Even though we we’re camping with friends.

We managed to sneak of to a wood in the middle of the nigh and master fucked me up against a tree. It was the first time we’d had sex out side, it was exciting, scary and kinky at the same time. Master loved it and let me cum also, so I left my mark on a tree some where hehe.

Out little trip outdoors made Master crave more kink but unfortunately I was exhausted after the drive back on Sunday and had hey fever yesterday. Master didn’t seem happy that we couldn’t play and got a little snappy me. I wasn’t happy with Master, I couldn’t help not feeling well and couldn’t help thinking what would Master be like if I got properly ill.

Master tried to turn it back on me and said I made him feel bad when he was ill but I reminded him that he made himself feel bad for not being able to play and that I was nothing but supportive. It feels like the shoes on the other foot now, Master wants more and more kink and is craving play and I wasn’t up to it, at least for only a few days.

I do want to play and just hope Master still wants to as well. I want to see more of this new more dominant and kinky Master that he seems to be of late.

 

Not a huge amount to report today. Works taking over again as usual mid week.

Last night Master said he would leave any hint of play up to me so before he got home he said that I should leave some Master pants out if I was interested in play.
I had showered and had a shave, still shaving my body and legs even though I’m not a sissy as such, I prefer it now. After that I slipped into a thong and left some pants out for Master.

We had dinner and then watched TV as usually but come bed time we did manage some play. We didn’t have toys but Master described what he was going to be doing to me over the next few weeks, he wants me to have a dog bowl and it letting me have a pink one, I’m also to have sparkly dog collar.

His descriptions got me so horny and were driving me wild, he was also playing with my nipples further driving me crazy. After he was done winding me up, he used me for his pleasure.

Just goes to prove you don’t need toys to tease, they are fun though.

 

So true maid muffy

 

It’s been a strange few days, but good ones at the same time. On Friday Master and I went shopping and Master bought me a Pink diamant dog collar which I love and a pink dog bowl. I like the fact that Master is letting me have pink things so I can still express my sissy side. I think he knows that I would still like to be a sissy some times.

I’m not missing being a sissy all that much though because Master is so much more content now and he’s a lot more confident which means he can be a lot more dominant. As long as Master is in control and happy to take charge then I feel more content also.

To prove how much Master has changed we had some play on Sunday, but not it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. I did cheekily suggest being tied up earlier in the week and got what I asked for in a way. Master put the spreader bar between my legs and then cuffed my hands to the spreader bar meaning I was face down into the carpet.

Being tied up in such a way was comfortable at all and after a few minuets I was squirming but at the same time trying to moan or complain. Master took full advantage of my position and teased his property and spanked me every time I came close to cumming.

After a while it all got to much and I ended up having a ruined orgasm. This was a good excuse for Master to teach me more of a lesson so and put my cum into my dog bowl wish was full of water, when he untied me I was made to drink the water.

I guess that’s a lesson learned for me, one not to cum and two not to demand or even hint at play.

 

There't not much going on at the moment. Things seem to be taking a backwards step. I've said as much as I can say on my blog. I just hope things get better soon.

I haven't even done much to my web site. but I haven't given up on it.

 

Not a massive amount to report, things have been up and down over the past few weeks. I’ve posted a few updates on my blog but nothing overly interesting. Things seem to be on the up though which is good.

Tonight I’m dressed in a basque, stockings and suspenders and I have my new wig on. I feel good, I’m glad I’m making the effort to dress again, I’ve missed it. Master seems fully supportive now and is embracing my sissy desires.

We’re still taking things slowly, this is the fist time in ages that I’ve dressed, Master said I look good which is nice to hear. I’m not sure how much sissy training I’m going to get or how evolved Master will be in my development but at the moment I’m happy with the way things are. We’re taking each day as they come.

As for my wig, I’ve never been a big fan of them, I wasn’t sure how it would look, I’ve always wanted to be convincing so tried to grow my hair naturally. Growing my hair didn’t work, no matter how I tried to style it, my hair didn’t look right. I must say that I’m quite please with my wig, it’s only a synthetic one for now but it’s a start. I might invest in a better one soon. It sits just past the shoulders and is a deep red.

I might have some pics to put up if the mood takes me or Master.

 

If you have read Master’s diary you will see things are back on track again and we seem to be doing well with our lifestyle roles. This comes after almost 3 weeks of now play or lifestyle what so ever.

Well as usually we had a little play on the weeks but this time any play came with an ultimatum. Master is giving me one last chance to give the lifestyle a go and wants me to serve and be submissive 24/7. Things seem to be going well up to now, but it’s only Tuesday and don’t want to jinx anything.

I have so far been able to follow all my orders and am completely clean shaven again at Master’s request. I think the fact that I haven’t had an orgasm in over a week is helping keep me submissive, I’m still not wearing a chastity device so am relying on my own self control.

I mentioned about getting my foreskin pierced, but I think we had talked about it in the past. I quite a long foreskin which means I could have my penis infibulated. It is a tempting prospect, but practically I don’t know how it would work .

I hope I can keep up this level of submission. I defiantly want to lifestyle. I love to submit and I love the feeling I get from being submission and I also enjoy the play that comes with the lifestyle. Only time will tell but so far I’m hopeful.

 

Thanks for your comments guys. We’re taking things one step at a time but we’re doing a lot better this time around.

Just thought I do a quick post about some of the play we had. Master wrapped me up in cling film but I’ll write about that tomorrow it’s was happened after that, that I thought I’d write about.

After I was unwrapped, Master needed sorting out, but I felt so horny I just wanted to cum, Master’ was going to let me have a ruined orgasm but I didn’t want to loose any of my submissive feelings.

I suggested that I need to reduce the sensitivity of pathetic clit by cooling it down, we had no ice cubes so Master sent me to get some deep heat. It was library coated all over my clit and I even pulled my foreskin back so Master could coat the head.

After a few seconds it began to hurt really bad, I felt as if I could cry, Master seeing that I was in pain took me to the bathroom to wash as much off as I could. When I felt close to tears it didn’t seem as if it was just because of the pain, I felt true remorse for having selfish thought.

Even though it hurt I’m glad I did it, I felt even more submissive afterward and said thank you to Master for taking away my selfish thoughts. Strange thing is, is that Master came close to saying the safe word when he saw how much pain I was in.

After I got cleaned up I road Master cock hard and made sure he had a good orgasm.

It was an intense experience so I just thought I write about it now before bed.

 

I have decided that I am going to take becoming a sissy seriously and have set myself some goals. You can see how I’m getting on by reading my blog. Hope you find it interesting if you do decide to check it out.

I wont be abandoning this diary as the Chastity Mansion will always be my lifestyle home and my favourite site.

My sissy blog

 

Time for a quick update. A lot has happened since the start of the week, I’ve tried to keep a daily diary of events using my blog and have kept it up to date with my feelings and thoughts. I’m not sure why I am feeling a lot more committed to becoming a sissy this time around but something has changed in me. Although I didn’t wear my corset yesterday I don’t feel that my sissy feelings have slipped.

As stated in my blog I almost gave myself and orgasm after looking at some of the images Dollyanne has put up for part of her training but I managed to stop myself before I climaxed. I did dribble a bit though but it was a pathetic sight with my clit only half swollen.

It would seem that I may have developed a hair trigger, I hardly touched my clit before I could feel myself getting close to climax. If I had climaxed it would have been an unsatisfying affair but I didn’t want to run the risk of ruining what I have achieved so far.

Master seems fully supportive of me and is helping me along which is good. I hope I can achieve my goal of being able to actually call myself a sissy and not just a masculine, wannabie excuse for a sissy.


I’m going to slip into my corset for the night shortly and continue my corset training to improve my posture. Masture did mention some play tonight but I'm not sure what he'll think when I tell him about my accident.

 

Well needless to say Master wasn’t happy yesterday. When Master got home I said that he should read my post or posts, I posted on the Mansion and on my Blog twice, eek think I’m addicted. Anyway When Master had read them he didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t until later on that he told me he was pissed off, it turned into a bit of an argument not what I was expecting at all.

I thought he would find out and then punish me or something, but I think master was hurt by what I had done and the posts I wrote following which really didn’t help the situation. The post made it sound is if I was happily masturbating to images of T-girls but it was nothing like that. Its true Some of Dollyannes pictures did give me a semi swollen clit but I wasn’t looking at the pictures at the time of my little accident.

It was when I was just about to turn of the compute that I touched my little clit and then for some reason carried on lightly rubbing the end of it. I felt close incredibly quickly and I got a sense of excitement and intrigue as to how long it would take me to cum As I found out it was only a matter of seconds I just wished I hadn’t of done it even though I didn’t climax.

I can understand why Master was mad at me but I ended getting in a bit of a huff because of the way he reacted, I had some vision of being punished and Master not be phased. How wrong was I?

Master said he was also pissed off that I had posted and in effect let everybody know what I had done before he knew. The only reason I wrote so soon after was because it was a profound moment, the thought of having a sissy hair trigger was exciting for me. I also didn’t want to txt master or simply tell him over the phone I thought I would wait to tell him when he got home

I think we’re sorted now, but it was touch and go weather Master wanted to carry on being my dominant.

 

Hey Mistress Watchful thanks for poping in, it's great to see that you're back posting.

I think it’s time for a quick updated. It’s been ages as usual. I haven’t even updated my blog this week.

The main reason for the lack on updated is the lack of anything to write about, thins have gone quite again this week, mostly because I was allowed to orgasm. Having an orgasm seems to completely stop any sissies desires or submissive feelings. It’s not good at all. I much prefer the feeling of submission and was really starting to find my own sissy style that I was comfortable with.

I have to say though that the orgasm was great. I thin Master got a bit carried away when he heard me moaning like I was. He was fingering my sissy clit like he usually does this always seems to drive me wild I can’t explain it. This time thou his finger pushed deep inside pushing my clit inside a reassess I never knew existed. It was a strange experience but it felt good at the same time.

There must be few reasons why it feels so good, one being all of the pleasure from Master rubbing the head of my clit and another is just the feeling of being pleasured as if I was a gurl is extremely exciting. It even looks like I could be a gurl when his hands are down there. I usually feel really feminine and then begin to moan quite load like a whore.

My submission and feminine feelings are starting to return slowly and I’m back to wearing panties and tucking my little clit. I do prefer it when my desires are at their peak though I know that for sure. I guess I must resist the prospect of release even when Master seems happy to allow me release. I just wish I could afford a neo steel I’m thinking this is the option for me. Infibulation isn’t an option as a couple of people have pointed out, it doesn’t work so I will take their advice I think.

 

Well this week has been quite good so far, the weather has picked up and more importantly Master and I had some time for play. It was only a quick session but it was enough to remind how good it feels to be tied up and teased.

Master restrained me to the bed with cuffs and a spreader bar and then set about teasing me to distraction, he brought me to the edge so many times I lost count. It was all good fun though. I managed not to spill a drop of my sissy cum and when Master was done torturing me he used me for his pleasure, he really fucked me quite hard, not that I was complaining.

I think Master is getting to grips with seeing me a sexual object now, a slave to be used for his own pleasure. Last night for instance I was knackered and half asleep but Master decided he wanted pleasuring anyway and with me lying on my side he slipped his cock into my sissy pussy and fucked me until he came.

I don’t mind Master taking advantage of me, I wouldn’t want him to go with out and if he can help himself to my sissy pussy once in a while why not. It’s good for when I’m tired and can’t commit 100 percent to pleasuring him. I know I know I should always want to 100c percent effort in but my job really does take it out of me, having a physical job and being self employed is hard work.

Anyway thats about it for now, hopefully will have much more to write about soon.