The Conditions I Set When I Finally Agreed To Enforce My Husband’s Chastity I’ve written a lot about my feelings and how they have changed over the course of the last couple of years. I’ve also writtent a lot about both specifics and generalities. I’ve only discussed the very general conditions and terms I set when I finally agreed to enforce Hubby’s chastity. I’ve received a few private questions on exactly what my terms were when I started out. I’ll lay them out as succinctly as possible along with my rationale at the time. I pick the chastity device period, hubby got no say in the matter or no deal. I set any conditions for release/sex unconditionally. There will be no schedule, no bargains, no deals. It’s entirely up to me when and if I stop enforcing hubby’s chastity or allow any sex. No “safe word”, no secret code, no time limits. There will be absolutely no discussions about hubby’s chastity unless I bring it up. If hubby brings it up in any way he will accept a punishment of my choosing. No exceptions. There will be no talk about sex or any kind of kinky/femdom/mistress talk on hubby’s part. Zero. If hubby starts any conversation about any of the above it’s also a punishment of my choice. The only thing I am agreeing to do is enforce chastity and that’s it. Chastity means no sex, no erections end of story. It does not mean any aspect of chastity enforcement intrudes into my daily life. Those were my initial terms and I’ve added a few more and changed a few of them in minor ways. For the most part that’s the framework I agreed to and it’s worked well over the last couple of years. I thought these things through based on my goals at the time. My goal was to get the entire chastity/dominatrix “thing” out of my life for good. I though maybe it would take a month or two or three and then I’d be done with it. Boy was I wrong about so many things before I enforced my husband’s chastity. Even though the terms with a few modifications have continued to work well the big thing I wanted to avoid while “doing away with chastity and kink” from my relationship was not to have a 24x7 sex discussion for as long as that might take. I was sick to death of it in the first place given the few times Hubby broached the topic over a few years prior. That last thing I wanted at was that to be the only conversation ever along with an immense amount of effort keeping track of complicated “rules” and becoming a slave to it myself. My goal was to lock up hubby’s penis in a device that actually provided no escape and be done with it completely, out of sight, out of mind, never to be discussed, until he was at a point he never wanted anything to do with femdom/kink/chastity again. Even though my thoughts have change significantly and I am now in what many would consider a very kinky relationship with my husband the original terms that did not allow chastity enformcement to become one giant 24x7 sex game from the start turned out to be very important in starting down the road of male chastity enforcement. I would recommend similar terms for anyone exploring lifestyle chastity enforcement unless they actually want it to become the complete focus of all things, especially early on.
Another great article. I would urge those who have read and enjoyed this post to follow the link that Mistress Skye has provided for other great articles on the subject of chastity and the male submissive psyche. For instance I have attached a link to another article about "Implementing Long Term Chastity Enforcement" which shows the depth of her understanding. Here is that link https://medium.com/@chastityperkins/implementing-long-term-male-chastity-enforcement-693db739e9ec
Some very good, interesting and strict rules there Miss. The only thing i don't like the idea of is the no safeword part, personally i wouldn't play with anyone without having one in place (i can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times i've had to use it over the years but it's always reassuring to have it there if things are going too far out of control for my liking) but if it works for You and Your husband and i'm assuming that You know each other well enough to know when enough's enough then that's it's all good.
So let me get this straight... you are using a D/s tool (chastity) to take D/s and in fact all sex-related matters out of your relationship. Is that correct?
I'm laughing to myself because my own wife is not kinky at all, however she did like the general idea of keeping me locked. After a few years of playing with it on and off, something clicked for her and she set similar rules. She wanted total control over my being locked, and whether I was allowed to orgasm if I was not locked. I agreed to it, and that took us both on a wild ride. She found thst having the control made her feel more confident with our relationship, and as a result we ended up having more sex than ever (with me locked). She could enjoy my being affectionate all the time because she knew it would go as far as she wanted, and she never had to feel guilty about stopping at any point. That left to her keeping me locked for longer and more frequent periods, eventually ending up with me permanently locked and denied. There is no mistress or domination involved, no FLR, or anything one would call kinky in our relationship, with the exception that I am locked and wear a harness with a Vixskin for her. It has become totally natural for the both of us, and our marriage has steadily improved over the last five years. Don't get me wrong; I certainly wouldn't mind if she dressed in leather and played out some of those long time fantasies I've had. But she doesn't need to... we have a great thing going thst works for the both of us. Glad to hear your own story.
Tom, thank you so much for your kind comment. Humor is essential in all our relationships. The black leather I now enjoy.
This is fantastic and great to see the female perspective, thankyou @Chastity School.❤️ I might have to give this a try with my wife, when I'm brave enough to broach enforced chastity. My wife still likes to have me (approx once a month) so my lockup periods are limited due to this and other reasons. May I respectfully ask if this was/is an issue for you/him when you enforced the chastity? Apologies in advance if this has been asked elsewhere. I have also followed you, I hope that is ok. Thankyou.
Loved your blog and your unique perspective, especially on punishment and humiliation. This might be a little off topic but I'd love to know how you have been doing on that front with your partner because my girlfriend takes a similar approach to what you describe there.
What a wonder share.I and tend to believe the rest of the people on this site. Would enjoy learning more of your relationship dynamic. Its evolution! As well as your husbands and yours. Thank you
how does he communicate health concerns? Referring to your rule #3 (There will be absolutely no discussions about hubby’s chastity unless I bring it up). Thank you.
In a way I want to be punished for my chastity fetish and the purest way to give that is for it to be enforced completely with no bells and whistles. After a bit of practice I may be there as my mistress is completely at home with it. All I know is I'm locked just now with no indication that things will change. If you have a desire to be locked then you deserve to be locked forever with no escape.
Practically speaking, the device has to fit and you really would have to ask him for his feedback on that issue. Otherwise, it's dangerous and cruel.
That’s a pretty extreme overstatement, saying that what you deserve is something that may be several orders of magnitude more severe than your desire.
Ever thought about streamlining these into "I'll decide"? Lots of rules, especially wordy ones are open to interpretation A
Great read. Nice to see easy to understand and clear rules written down in such a way that everyone involved understands their role without being overly complicated.