My self orgasm denial experience

After being a compulsive masturbator all my life, last year was a year filled with periods of low libido and increasing problems getting and staying hard. I decided to start the new year off with a self-imposed period of orgasm denial to see what effect this would have on my libido and hardness. All I can say is, WOW. After two weeks I was hornier than I had ever been. I started waking up at night with these incredibly hard erections. It was like, oh, I remember these, it HAS been a while since I last felt like this!

The method of orgasm denial I chose was the ruined orgasm. I prefer to call it abandoned orgasm because there is no orgasm to ruin, just ejaculation with no accompanying brain rush called an orgasm. That's how I understand it anyway.

I masturbate or have sex as often as I like but whenever I reach that point of no return. That point when you can feel the pressure of your cum moving through your body. When you know beyond a shadow of a doubt an ejaculation is going to occur. At that precise moment, I would immediately stop all stimulation. No sensation of orgasm would occur, just a smaller than usual ejaculation.

During sex, I would simply slow down and instantly stop all stimulation at the right moment to abandon the orgasm.

Handjobs from my vanilla SO turned out to be just as easy. She hates getting cum on her hand so when I started saying stop, she would. I spent years pestering her to keep going once I started to squirt, but here she was stopping right on cue. After about four hand jobs whenever she knew I was about to explode she would say, "Tell me when you want me to stop ok?". . . . . . . . . . . Stop. Makes me so hot just thinking about it. Anyway, not one mistake so far, and the funny thing is, I haven't told her a single thing about my desire to stay denied. I still get offered a nice "orgasm" to go to sleep with, so she definitely hasn't picked up on anything. I find it amusing so I'm not sure if I will ever tell her. Well, maybe one day.

During the build-up to orgasm, I always feel like I won't be able to stop at the right time. I thought I would never make it past three weeks but it wasn't long before I was up to five weeks than eight weeks. Every time I get to the point of no return the need to deny myself kicks in and I always manage to stop at the right time.

After an abandoned orgasm ejaculation I still experience a refractory period where I can't get hard for a while. After a normal orgasm, it usually took me two to three days to get real horny. After an abandoned orgasm it would often only take me six hours before I was climbing the wall again!

By week five I loved orgasm denial more than ever. The flaccid size of my cock felt much larger and often felt just short of being hard. I love the buzz you get from your groin when your body is just so desperate to cum. At any time I can get rock hard instantly, and naturally. Nothing in the world compares to the feeling of having a throbbing, twitching, rock hard cock that is aching and begging for release, it's just the best feeling!

I was totally shocked when I made it to the end of week eight without any orgasm or any major mishap. I didn't really want to stop orgasm denial but I wanted to know what sort of changes would happen to me if I resumed having regular orgasms. Quite reluctantly I decided to switch back and have regular orgasms for at least three weeks.

The thought of having an orgasm was delicious. I was expecting my greatly needed orgasm to be absolutely mind-blowing. It didn't take me long to get my pants down at the first opportunity. When I reached the point of no return the strangest thing happened. I almost couldn't keep going. It felt so much easier to stop than to keep going. With great difficulty, I kept going and I ejaculated powerfully and then that was it. It was all over. There was no orgasm as far as I could tell. I felt no tingle, no rush, no sensation of any kind other than the ejaculation.

My very first orgasm after eight weeks of denial had zero sensation. The second orgasm did offer up a small sensation, the third a lot more and each orgasm after that felt pretty much average. Usually, some orgasms are more powerful than others but all orgasms now seem almost identical and none ever get close to feeling above average.

After three weeks of normal orgasms, my flaccid dick size was nearly always tiny. Hardly any night time erections and getting hard and staying hard became a problem again. It wasn't a difficult decision to decide that I will keep myself permanently denied unless I feel like an orgasm every now and then.

You are welcome to visit my other orgasm denial stories