My man isn't wearing his cage

I've been in a similar situation and in hindsight wished my keyholder absolutely just insisted I remained locked and took control. Was I trying my luck to remain unlocked probably.

 

A couple of weeks, I got a text saying you will be locked tonight. She said I'm very different unlocked and prefers me locked. I waited for her to take control back

 

You say he has a lot on his plate, but has he had time for ‘relations’ with you? If he’s even hinted at lovemaking, then you should feel free to request a return to chastity. And as stated by another, we men enjoy expectations and demands. At least attempt to take back control. It’s a cage, a piece of jewelry. Not an 80 lb rucksack for him to carry around. JMO. Good luck.

 

For what it is worth, and it may be worth nothing so this is just IMVHO, I think that you should do more than mention it. Days can become weeks, weeks can become months etc. He craved the control from you, I really think that you should insist on it. If it was me who was your sub, that is what I would want.
However, every relationship is unique, and only you know the best way to handle this. Good luck.

 

Life is stress. It will be there with or without the cage. The terms of the agreement should be followed.

 

I had a very stressful period and my wife gave me the keys last Christmas!

She too prefers me locked and sometimes would just mention it but I slipped back into masturbating and did so without her knowledge! We did grow apart intimately but last Friday I have been locked and I not only feel better but my wife is also happier

 

Good luck, I'm sure he will thank you when he is back safely under your control.

 

I think you do need to sit down and talk through things with him. Tell him how you feel, what you want; ask him how he feels, what he wants. Decide when and how you can come together again in chastity.

good luck

 

I'm re-locked after a length of time off. I love it all over again. I feel at peace

 

I would love to know how this goes.

I know I love sex, however, I'm a better person locked. After release, and sex, I put it back on, cause I know I will only jerk off giving any amount of time.

My key holder has not a controlling bone in her body, but she is my everything. If she asked me to do anything, I would do it, provided it doesn't interfer with my work.

 

Most definitely talk with him, let him know you love him and are there for him during these tough times. Bring up how you're feeling without him locked in chastity. Reinforce that chastity isn't a form of punishment. I saw above you mentioned the reason he wanted release was to shave? If that's case, check to see if he's done it already. If not that may be your chance to help him prepare himself and get back into chastity.

 

I would just ask him if he's ready to be locked back up. If he isn't then just ask him why. Then Express how much it pleases you to have him locked.

 

Are you married to this man? If so:
1 control the $, give him a small weekly allowance, make him come to you for permission to spend on anything but necessities and small purchases
2 have him licking you after his infrequently allowed orgasms, brings him right back into submission
3 require him to groom as you please i.e., shaving, hair cuts, body hair, pubic hair
4 throw away his male underwear and replace with simple bikini women's underwear, no lace
5 spank him weekly, hard and harder for punishment when needed and chastise him when punishing
6 join "cuckoldmarriage.info"
7 send him text of smiley face after you orgasm when he isn't around, tell him what that means, leave vibrator out for him to find, clean and put away
8 get yourself a vibrator that is larger than his cock
9 consider having him pierced
10 tell others how you wear the pants and watch him his reaction

 

I could be reading too much into what you wrote, but it sounds to me like you're in a similar boat with me. I get the impression that your husband is more the non-verbal type? Communicates by action what he wants or doesn't want? If so your husband is a great deal like my wife. The talk it out advice is only so good with someone that doesn't like to talk it out. It's hard to offer advice without knowing your relationship, however I can tell you what has worked for us. When she votes with her feet and we stop our D/S roles and I've gone through my waiting and hoping period I eventually say f**k it. I stop doing all the things she loves that goes along with our D/S relationship. I love walking into the room when she's folding laundry and saying sweetly "Are you still doing that". A few days of that usually brings her around (all though not right now). Is there anything you're still doing in honoring your chastity relationship that he loves? That he would notice if you withheld it? If so try that. If not, sooner or later he will want sex and then you have him. Get him good and worked up and then inform him he can only have you if he agrees to lock up after.

 

@GoddessG My mistress often let’s me go unlocked and waits for me to put it on. The times I haven’t put it on right away shortly after my release I tend to stay unlocked longer and I say the same crap about frame of mind etc... once he’s locked he’ll be happy about it again. Sometimes I get a major mood drop after an orgasm and then sometimes it doesn’t effect me at all. But when I do get that drop, what really helps me out is my mistress’s firm hand and her showing me she’s in charge and she wants my head in the right space. That usually whips me back into shape and back into the lifestyle fairly quickly. No matter what though, at least for me chastity is a bit of an addiction and even if I’m being a brat I can’t go long without craving her to lock me back up. You’ll find your formula for what works for you guy

 

You should lock him up as soon as he home!

 

There’s a lot of back and forth that will happen especially with busy lives and kids etc... you two are on a great path and I only see you moving forward and further down the rabbit hole in the chastity lifestyle.

 

I think all subs have this predicament. Sub wants to be “broken”, but informing the domme of how would ruin the spell. So what he is really saying when he said he wants to be broken, is that he wants you to take control however it is YOU want. He doesn’t want a you mimicking things you think he wants, he wants YOUR input.

One of the hottest things (IMO) is knowing everything she comes up with is her idea, pleases her, and only inspired by her. I’m always doing it right, it’s always what she wants, so I know she isn’t placating me. If I tell her I want to be forced to do something, and then she does...I’m pretty much over it, it feels like she’s humoring me.

So all that being said, break him how you want. Be forceful, be matter of fact, and be verbally clear of your expectations. Even subs that aren’t very verbal, respond well to their domme being clear and direct (guilty). So if you like him following you waiting to rub your feet, tell him he’s to do that when ever you get home or put your feet up etc. If you enjoy punishment, work with that and take it as far as you want, as far as YOU want. He wants to be broken, so break him. We are lost without direction.

I know one thing that gets me in subby mode is routines. Being told what I need to do, and told to do it on a regular basis, it reinforces my need to serve.

Hope some of this helps a bit, good luck