My journey to FLR marriage with husband locked in chastity

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  1. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #151 MeanBitch, Oct 19, 2017
    Correct, the main thing is to change his mindset in order to accept our current relationship as the new normal and something that he can't live without. It's not just being completely dependent on me but internalizing it as the way it shall always be. That's why it's important for things to be gradual and to use psychology more than force.

    Small ways are mostly about making him lose confidence in his own decision making so that he becomes used to always looking to me to make every decision, large or small. We would go to a restaurant and I would let him order for himself but override his choice in front of the waitress until he got used to checking with me or letting me order for him. Little things like that, especially in public, reinforce our roles and make him lose confidence in making decisions himself instead of following my lead. Controlling all of the money and making him justify even the smallest expenditure is also important.
     
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    #152 MeanBitch, Oct 19, 2017
    Using physical punishment is a lazy approach that probably won't hold in the long run. Using psychology to break and take control of a man's mind is a better approach in my experience.
     
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  3. MeanBitch
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    #153 MeanBitch, Oct 19, 2017
    Cruising on my hog with my husband riding bitch behind me is one of the most satisfying experiences I have. Being unusual is probably why I get a lot of looks of admiration from men and women alike. There are more women riding bikes these days, check out "caramel curves" if you want to see proud African American women rolling on some awesome bikes.
     
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    #154 MeanBitch, Oct 19, 2017
    It happens. It is a major power trip which I enjoy very much.
     
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  5. RexVa
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    #155 RexVa, Oct 21, 2017
    Absolutely. This is truly effective long term only if skillfully implemented. Have you found any specific resource and ongoing practice to be of practical use to you in your relationship?
     
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  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    #156 Joroincharge, Oct 21, 2017
    Once he's got the mindset that you've got him by the balls and there's nothing he can do about it, you're home. How to get to that situation will much depend on where mentally you and he are now, and what handles you have and/or can get. All's fair game here!!
     
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  7. RexVa
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    #157 RexVa, Nov 12, 2017
    For interested Mistresses, keyholders, and leading Ladies in a relationship--I found that a book in conditional behavior called "Don't Shoot the Dog" was quite insightful for me years ago in training and disciplining males, and it's still very helpful today.

    Especially, the fourth chapter “Untraining: using reinforcement to get rid of behavior you don’t want” was one of my favorites when I first read it and is still one to use as reference, particularly when dealing with males with less-than-submissive attitudes to their Mistresses or Lady keyholders, or those who may be inclined to continue attempting to top from their bottom place in an FLR.

    Let me know your thoughts. Perhaps @MeanBitch and other training-minded keyholders might also share further suggestions or references that may have helped them in shaping male behavior.
     
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  8. verne
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    verne Active member

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    #158 verne, Nov 17, 2017
    Am I the only one who really wants another update from @MeanBitch?!
     
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  9. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    #159 mrfelix, Nov 18, 2017
    no you'e not.
     
  10. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    #160 SubSnuggler, Nov 18, 2017
    I would love to read a 'week in the life' from @MeanBitch !!

    I say that as I take a break from cleaning Mrs kitchen and doing her laundry, lol.
     
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  11. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    #161 Mash2214, Nov 18, 2017
    Sometimes we get so involved in what's going on here at the Mansion that we forget people have lives outside of this place. I'm sure MeanBitch will up date when she wants to. Just think about it as her putting all of us in a form of Chastity and Control. Just a thought
     
  12. Newboy1
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    #162 Newboy1, Nov 24, 2017
    Meanbitch,
    Just listening to "Independence Day" by Martina McBride. A great theme song for you.
     
  13. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #163 MeanBitch, Dec 2, 2017
    I am always glad to post updates but the reality is that my life with my husband is really mundane for the most part. The fact that he is locked in chastity is unusual and considered kinky but it's really just a tool for me to control his behavior. It's not only practical, because it does turn me on to know that my husband is under my thumb and subject to my whims. Complete power over a man is arousing. But there aren't that many kinky events to report on. However I will answer any and all questions about our relationship and about the FLR lifestyle in general, so don't hesitate to ask about anything that's on your mind.
     
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  14. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    #164 Joroincharge, Dec 2, 2017
    That is very very true. And as to the 'mundane behavior' it also means you can offload onto him all mundane domestic tasks which he'll he do as ordered ..or else!:):):)
     
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  15. MeanBitch
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    #165 MeanBitch, Dec 2, 2017
     
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  16. MeanBitch
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    #166 MeanBitch, Dec 2, 2017
    Weekends are for fun, although I end up working a lot of Saturdays too, either at the office or at home. Sometimes we invite friends over and my husband cooks and serves a nice meal. None of our friends know that he is in chastity or the degree that I control him, but we are open about the fact that I am in charge and that he is subservient to me. Sometimes we go out and again I don't hide the dynamics of our relationship, which is sometimes jarring to strangers. It's still embarrassing to him and the last vestiges of male pride surface at times but he has gotten used to it when I make it obvious to the outside world that we are in a FLR. Sometimes I go out clubbing or bar hopping with girlfriends and my husband stays home, knowing that I will be checking on him during the evening. Sometimes I go on dates with other men, and of course this has been the hardest adjustment for him. I like to dress very sexy and tease him a bit, and I know it's not easy for him to iron a sexy outfit and then help me put it on knowing that it's for another man. However I never bring men home or talk about what happens because that seems excessive. Until very recently I would always meet my dates elsewhere although now I often have them pick me up at home. Sunday is the big day because that is when my husband receives his release from the dreaded belt. Assuming that he has behaved during the week, performed all his chores and stayed under his weight/waist target I remove the belt in the morning and he is free to do whatever he likes, within the confines of our property of course. Depending on how he did during the week I may keep it off for an hour or for the entire day. We may go motorcycle riding, go for a walk to the park, or just stay home and relax. At some point I announce that it's time and I lock the belt back on, which he has learned to accept without whining.
     
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  17. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    #167 demale, Dec 3, 2017
    My wife has complete power over me and I find that exceptionally calming. She is my superior in every way and deserves to make the rules. Mean Bitch's hubby is indeed blessed.
     
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    #168 mrfelix, Dec 3, 2017
    I know your husband remembers how wonderful it used to be having regular intercourse with you. Does he ever beg to just fuck you like he used to at the beginning of your relationship? Do you ever get sentimental and think of allowing him a release in that way?
     
  19. verne
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    verne Active member

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    #169 verne, Dec 3, 2017

    Thank you for the offer, and sorry if I appear selfish. I shouldnt be craving updates, but read them as they come. I just read the previous posts with appreciation.
     
  20. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    #170 RexVa, Dec 3, 2017
    @MeanBitch will hopefully respond with her detailed feedback. From experience, however, there are instances in which males in FLR chastity relationships mentally adjust and try to minimize their sexual drive and desire as they focus on service and submission, perhaps like in this case, and are able to excel in their compliance and attention to their wives/partners... I also don't like any begging (or tolerate any whining for that matter), and often impart appropriate disciplinary action against that, while reinforcing his positive, submissive behavior and his benefits in his service to me--sexual and otherwise.
     
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  21. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    #171 demale, Dec 4, 2017
    Service and submission is exactly right. She ALWAYS must come first. My wife commands and I obey, which is how it should and MUST be.
     
  22. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #172 MeanBitch, Dec 11, 2017
    I absolutely don't tolerate any begging, whining or complaining about anything, but especially about his desire for intercourse.
     
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  23. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #173 MeanBitch, Dec 11, 2017
    Unfortunately for my husband I'm not a sentimental woman.
     
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  24. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    #174 demale, Dec 11, 2017
    I would say that the man is fortunate indeed. Mean Bitch is giving him exactly what he wants and deserves. All of us should have her as our domme.
     
  25. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    #175 RexVa, Dec 11, 2017
    Sorry. She's not his 'domme'. She's his wife.
     
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