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My journey to FLR marriage with husband locked in chastity

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by MeanBitch, May 20, 2016.

  1. Just to be clear: the only hand on my husband's penis is his own and the only thing being penetrated by the dildo is his ass.

    You are correct that the full belt goes far beyond just chastity, it has a major psychological effect because the penis is totally inaccessible, not to mention having to sit down to pee and having a perfectly feminine flat front instead of a male bulge.

    I know how he feels. Having the belt locked on is excruciatingly frustrating and it hasn't gotten easier to endure even after all this time. What it does is force him to focus his energy elsewhere and to adopt a mindset that allows him to cope with his situation. Keeping busy and taking pride in completing his many tasks. Deriving pleasure from pleasuring me and gaining my appreciation and approval. It's hard for outsiders to understand but taking on a new mindset brings him satisfaction and acceptance. Instead of his selfish desires he focuses externally, and instead of being idle he keeps busy so as not to dwell on being locked up.

    Besides the issues related to the belt, how does he feel being under my complete control, subservient to me? it's something he has adjusted to by knowing that he is provided for in every way, that we enjoy our companionship and doing things together, and that he is relieved of the pressure of "being a man" which he had trouble with. In many ways he has sacrificed his manhood, but the upside is not having the stress of being the breadwinner, having to make any decisions, and having to waste time with macho b.s.

    It's a major power rush to be sure! Our arrangement is practical but I don't deny how the power I have makes me feel. Every morning I wake up with my husband's manhood locked away while I hold the key, knowing that I have conquered a male to the point that I have his complete obedience and that his life consists of service to me in every way, domestically and sexually. Sometimes I look in the mirror and smile at how I have worked hard to build a dream life and been smart and powerful enough to emasculate a man and make him totally dependent on me. Not too many women can say that. It's a power trip and hard to describe how satisfying and fulfilling it is, it only gets better with each passing day.

  2. Wow so he's only allowed to jerk himself off with your supervision. Other than that get fucked up ass by you with a big dildo? Very emasculated. Ever consider eliminating his orgasms entirely?

    Guess you have it well and if he can accept it so be it

    It would be interesting to allow him to watch you get serviced by a proper Alpha Male. Even if just by video see what he's missing etc

    Does he perform cunnilgus well? Daily?

    Glad your life is so well. The power rush of totally co trolling and eliminating his worthless penis must be amazing for a woman such as yourself Would you like to do it to additional men?
  3. @Benni@Benni
    Right? I often wonder why there aren't more of us doing this...
    mrfelix and spider203 like this.
  4. Having encountered this thread for the first time and read it all I foun dit very interesting.
    I can see your current arangement suits you very well Ms MB.. clear to see where you are coming from and how your relationship has developed into what it is.
    Your husband stays around so obviously the arrangement suits him too to some degree. It would be interesting in that it would provide a more full picture from which to to form a more accurate impression of things if your husband was to relate his point of view about his experience and his feelings about his new role from its begining to where it is now.

    May I ask how your children fit in to this arrangement you have.. do they live with you.. are they aware of the dynamics (not the sex obviously) of your relationship .. as you said you husband him housewife.. is it obvious to the children have they expressed opinions about it.

    Its one thing for someone to fantasise (usually its a man) and write about this life-style but quite another to actually live it. And for us to read about it written from the woman's perspective.

    It is not a lifestyle I could embrace ... exclusivity is essential for me... and I value my own independence too much...but your thread has proven to be very an insightful look into a real FLR that is apparently working.

    I wish you well.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  5. I think it takes the right woman to run a FLR. Society tells women to be submissive and men to be dominant. So I think that is the main reason you don't see this very often. You and some of the other women have broken that mold, you know what you want and you work to get it the way you desire. There are a lot of men turned on by this dynamic but in reality not so much, hence where a strong woman needs to force him into seeing this is his new life. I think a lot of men fall into this category but the wife is not dominant or doesn't want to be dominant and so its never pursued. So again the key is the woman in the relationship. Of course there is always the occasional woman who starts out chastity, feels the power and is drawn to being dominant. I think that is much more common but not always. I know in my own personal experience right from the get go my wife said she didn't want this to change our relationship dynamic and she still wanted me to be the man of the house, though she definitely enjoyed the extra attention. I would also say i guess its possible some women like my wife could come onto this site and be persuaded to see the benefits of FLR by people like you. I think that actually is one of the best ways to spread the word and increase the numbers of dominant women.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  6. I've been following your thread since you started it and Love the arrangement that your in. I just don't feel that the word Mean fits you but it's just a name. I am curious though. If he serves you in every way how do you still earn a living. Are you wealthy or have income from other means or does he still work somewhere. I'm lock 24/7 and serve my Mistress but I still work part time , semi retired, I was just curious Thanks for your very informative blog
  7. @MeanBitch@MeanBitch, there's no doubt more women in formalized relationships would benefit from your story if they adopted at least some of the practices you implemented with your husband.

    As head of your household and sole decision-maker, would you say that the short-term chastity schedule/no sex plan you have for him, plus the occasional sodomy treatment, has measurably improved his laziness problem and rendered him more cooperative? I'm sure other women facing similar issues with their husbands might/should consider taking your advice.

    Also, as you rightly say that his Neosteel Arch belt--that gives him his "perfectly feminine flat front"--and the resulting lack of "male bulge" and his current condition has started to have a positive effect his psyche, the question is: can feminizing him further be what he needs to becoming even more obliging and willing to perform duties and services for you, as you might require?

    By the way, after having so much trouble "being a man" as you mentioned, I trust he appreciates you as you deserve, and thanks you every day for all you do to take care of him in every way! He's very fortunate to have you.
    Chastitybf88 likes this.
  8. It takes an unusual set of circumstances to live that lifestyle. A powerful, dominant woman who can support a household on her income alone, and most likely a home without children. If I didn't have kids, I would probably accept and enjoy being kept as a total slave to my wife in exchange for me never having to worry about anything again. That being said, the near total lack of intimate interaction with a loved spouse (as described in this thread) would be hard to deal with. It sounds humorous but I'd need a few tender kisses every day in addition to being pegged to be happy lol.

    It seems fun to fantasize about but I'm not sure this is a fantasy life I would really enjoy. It's certainly fascinating to read about though.
  9. He's not under my supervision when he masturbates, he does that on his own.

    I have no desire to eliminate his orgasms, not only would that be cruel but it would eliminate the incentive to serve me.

    I would not ask him to watch me when I am with my alphas, I know that would hurt him and would serve no purpose. He knows that I see other men, but I don't bring them home.

    He performs cunnilingus almost daily.

    I don't have any desire to control other men in this fashion, although I do enjoy being in control at work. Being in charge (of both men and women) professionally is very satisfying. I am an extremely demanding boss as you probably imagine.
    slave_m, spider203 and Chastitybf88 like this.

  10. Seems as though you have everything under control miss!
  11. Thank You. It's hard for me t relate my husband's point of view but we enjoy each other's company and spend most of our free time together, and he is provided a comfortable lifestyle. He does have a lot of domestic responsibilities and the burden of chastity is hard on him, but he appreciates what he has and doesn't want to give it up.

    I have a daughter from a previous relationship who just graduated from college and is on her own in the working world. She sees that I am the dominant one in the marriage but obviously doesn't know about the chastity aspect. It all seems natural to her since she knows our personalties.
    mrfelix, slave_m, filltee and 2 others like this.
  12. I have to work long hours and earn a very good living in order to support myself and a stay at home husband! I am not wealthy (yet) but I do have a very good income, although it requires long days and a good amount of travel. Having my husband at home is very helpful to my career, he takes care of everything domestic so that I can concentrate on my career, which benefits both of us.
    mrfelix, slave_m and Joroincharge like this.
  13. Thanks for your response. That explains things. He's at home while you work. Our situation is similar im at home a lot but still work part time. Mistress runs her business and travels around a lot enjoying life. Thanks for your response
  14. I find there is a difference in FLR and MLR besides the gender of who leads.

    A traditional MLR would have a man as the breadwinner, major decision maker, initiator of sex as well as dominance in the bedroom.

    In a typical FLR, at least online, it would be roughly the same but somehow it gets warped into cuckolding, feminization, house maids, chores, duties and corporeal punishment. I haven't heard of a MLR dressing his wife as a man, having a woman on the side, and giving spankings if she doesn't please him. You would think a FLR would be the gender opposite of a traditional MLR. It seems to have added many aspects that just don't exist for the male equivalent.

    One other aspect is the middle ground that most MLR's have. He may be the major decision maker, but it isn't usually without consulting the female for her thoughts and input. She respects his leadership and decisions and defers. I usually don't see that online and in this community...it's all she decides this so I must comply...most marriages no matter who leads checks the opinion of their partner, even if they do not follow it.

    Interested if you two were once more equal than what you apparently are now.
  15. Hi @Nicoftime@Nicoftime I agree and to add that, to use the pharse behind every good man there is a good woman. I never hear the behind every good woman there is a good man.
    I never heard of anyone say that about women that have made it in the world.
    It is a funny to think of the concept that to likes of the German chancellor. Angela Merkel that there is a good man behind her, or Madonna or any successful woman it even sounds sexest.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  16. Tantalizing commentary, but beyond the suggested differences, IMO the comparison just doesn't apply. I don't believe FLR would be commonly understood (especially in fora such as this, or in similar environments), as simply the opposite equivalent of a standard, traditional heterosexual relationship in which males would be the breadwinners instead (which for obvious gender-oppression concerns, most people would also certainly NOT describe as MLRs or "Male-Led Relationships"...)

    Needless to say, in our context, FLRs imply domination, full authority and control, and thus, they allow for variations of those themes, depending on the specific kinks, preferences and willingness/acceptance/compliance of both parties in the relationship.

    I applaud @MeanBitch@MeanBitch for recognizing and capitalizing on the possibility of a relationship of this nature in her marriage, which is clearly benefiting both of them.
  17. I too think it is at the very least a very interesting situation and lifestyle and hey, if it works don't fix it.

    I am not sure why a FLR would not be considered the gender opposite of a traditional relationship where the male was the dominant partner. Even in bdsm marriages where the male is very dominant the kinks don't seem to match up. I've never heard of a male cross dressing his submissive wife, and even if a sexual play thing is brought into their dynamic, I would hazard a guess it's not to replace his submissive wife's role.

    I used breadwinner as a social tone of independence, where as traditionally men made the bulk of the household income while the women had the equally important job of raising children and running the household...in this atmosphere it was easy for the female to feel powerless because the actual money was controlled by the one who made it. Now days most homes have both work to pool resources and share the household chores. I digress...I merely mentioned it as something still not associated with a FLR yet is almost always part of a traditional male led relationship.
    filltee likes this.
  18. Your welcome

    It would have been interesting to read I think.. would he not write it himself and let you post it?

    Ah thank you. Its always itrigued me how some people could live some of the alternative life-styles we encounter on here if they had children.
  19. In most 'traditional' (western) relationships, the male is NOT "the dominant" partner in the same, strict sense of the word--and there's absolutely no reason he should be, even if he just happens to be the only breadwinner...

    More importantly, @MeanBitch@MeanBitch clearly recognized --as most if not all women should-- that effectively and totally controlling her husband's orgasms is a key beneficial factor to both, as well a major driver in his "incentive to serve" her. In the process, she seems additionally able to turn the energy that he would selfishly otherwise spend in satisfying his frequent masturbatory urges, into valuable time and attention to the important household duties she demands of him.

    That just wouldn't be an equivalent or even useful proposition the other way around in a supposed "MLR", IMO.
    Kikki likes this.
  20. This seems to have moved to bread winning as a proxy for control. More by luck than judgment our incomes have always been within a spit of each other. However, from time to time there have been significant differences.

    Income in our case hasn't made any difference to our personal or sexual dynamic. We are who we are, and the for better or worse, richer or poorer promise means we don't rule each other based on bank balances.
  21. I guess that's my point exactly...there is no "other way around" on the other side. If someone said the very same thing towards a woman...he would be labeled a monster. Yet in the scope of a FLR it seems almost congratulatory. I'm not bashing her set up, it sounds like they are as happy as peas and carrots, just find it odd that there is a difference in kinks between genders in the same role, yet the only thing different is the gender.

    They don't express polar opposites. Yet the same themes seem to ring loud and clear.

    It's nice to see and to learn how everyone does the same thing differently.
  22. Joroincharge

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Mar 10, 2009
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    That's it in a nutshell!! And done properly it's to all intents and purposes wriggle-proof.:):):):)
    mrfelix and filltee like this.
  23. That's right --gender IS the difference.

    Kinks and roles adjust accordingly, but as genders differ, they don't compare in reverse scenarios.
    Joroincharge likes this.
  24. Joroincharge

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Mar 10, 2009
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    Quite so. For males, broadly, balls = power.
    So if in an FLR she's got him by his and thoroughly trapped, then she's done it.
    But the way men and women are built it can't happen the same way in reverse!
    filltee and RexVa like this.