My journey to FLR marriage with husband locked in chastity

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MeanBitch, May 20, 2016.

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  1. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    #251 Kylara, Nov 25, 2018
    Well we cannot judge you as it is your history and life, and we are not at your place nor your hubby's one.

    I love your comments it gives us plenty of very good information on the FLR. On what I read it is not really different than an heterosexual relation with a dominant male and a submissive women.

    I have example in my friends of male that go out to seek girls and are proud of it, they let all know that they catch one and who has a women that stay at home cleaning in the meantime.

    Just a reverse role in life. So it's not up to us to judge your life but it is very instructive on how our own FLR relation can be.
     
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    #252 mcfeely, Nov 28, 2018
    It would be interesting to hear from mean bitch's husband to get his perspective and for him to have a "pass" to say what he truly feels and thinks without recourse. Don't think we will see it. Also wife asked me to read Ingrid Bellemare "book" and asked me what I thought. Told her I got through about half the book and had the overwhelming desire to destroy her. Just not my cup of tea. I think the wife is using some of these posts as a way to try and determine limits.
     
  3. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #253 MeanBitch, Dec 17, 2018
    Over time my husband has undergone a major attitude adjustment, he has been trained to take pride in his service and to feel disappointment in not performing up to my standards. Creating the proper mindset is even more effective than punishments and rewards. Having said that, his releases can last from 10 minutes up to an entire day, so there is incentive for him to behave. And I control his internet usage and television privileges among other things, so there is a carrot and stick beyond the chastity aspect.
     
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  4. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #254 MeanBitch, Dec 17, 2018
    Personally I can't relate to that book. The relationship seems unsustainable to me.

    I don't consider myself a sadist at all and don't think sadism is a necessary component of an FLR.

    I may be mean and selfish at times but everything I do is intended to ultimately benefit both my husband and me.
     
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  5. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #255 MeanBitch, Dec 17, 2018
    Thank You ! for this comment.

    There are literally millions of men out there who control their wives economically and otherwise, whose wives are responsible for all the domestic duties, who demand sex on their terms only and for their satisfaction only, who have other sex partners in addition to their wives, and who are dictators in their marriages. And we accept this as perfectly normal. However when the wife acts this way there is outrage. It's a horrible double standard which I refuse to accept.
     
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  6. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #256 MeanBitch, Dec 17, 2018
    I am not going to have my husband participate directly in this thread, sorry but that's not his place. However if you have specific questions that you are curious about I will discuss them with him and post a summary of his feelings here.
     
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  7. AprilC
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    #257 AprilC, Dec 17, 2018
    Hey girl, i really admire your patience in the face of the critics, you have kept repeating and stayed true to your message and it gets through to so many other keyholders
     
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    #258 RexVa, Dec 20, 2018
    Have you applied new training method/s, and which ones work best for you? And, like me, do you elevate your 'standards' regularly to keep him 'on his toes'? I take pleasure in that... :) What do you take pleasure on when it comes to upping and reinforcing your dominance?
     
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  9. Mistress Dita
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    Mistress Dita Goddess Dita

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    #259 Mistress Dita, Dec 20, 2018
    His masturbation was the main reason for my interest in male chastity. He completely lost interest in sex with me and was jerking off most days. It is early days but already he is more considerate, romantic and interested in my satisfaction than before. I think that it would be easier for a woman to get carried away and equate further denial with an increase in behaviour but you seem to have found a balance which works for you.

    Well done x
     
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  10. Mistress Dita
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    Mistress Dita Goddess Dita

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    #260 Mistress Dita, Dec 20, 2018
    I have hoping that allowing to draft a chastity agreement it will a good way of understanding his fantasies about chastity and including them in our relationship. Men always seen to fimnd it difficult to explain what they want particularly when it involves anything kinky or changing their traditional role in the relationship
     
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  11. Mistress Dita
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    Mistress Dita Goddess Dita

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    #261 Mistress Dita, Dec 20, 2018
    This has always been evident in our relationship. He would look to me to make decisions on most things and worry about getting my approval on any he had made. He has also admitted to having a imposter complex where he feels that he is not qualified to do something. This can be true for even the smallest decisions. Maybe it's part of a sub males make-up.
     
  12. Mistress Dita
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    Mistress Dita Goddess Dita

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    #262 Mistress Dita, Dec 20, 2018
     
  13. Mistress Dita
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    Mistress Dita Goddess Dita

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    #263 Mistress Dita, Dec 20, 2018
    Sorry, seems my reply has somehow been put at the beginning of your post
     
  14. Hawabi
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    #264 Hawabi, Jan 16, 2019
    What a fantastic journal, one of the best reads on the website - you can’t please everyone @MeanBitch but as long as you and your husband are happy then who cares! - I am very grateful for the opportunity to read about your lifestyle - so thank you for sharing with us.
     
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  15. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #265 MeanBitch, Sep 8, 2019
    Yesterday marked an important anniversary: five years since I took control of my husband and converted our marriage into an FLR with me in full control and authority over him. Five years with him locked securely in chastity.

    We don't acknowledge our wedding date any more but naturally we celebrated this important anniversary with a meal at our favorite restaurant and reflection on our changed relationship. I allowed my husband the rare privilege of sharing with me his thoughts on his submission and his enforced chastity, since usually I have no tolerance for his whining or his thoughts on the matter. I have also been thinking about what I have learned over these years, which may be helpful to those contemplating or in an chastised FLR relationship.

    I will summarize these thoughts in separate posts for those that are interested ...
     
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  16. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #266 MeanBitch, Sep 8, 2019
    Advice for a successful FLR:

    1. Don't ever give your husband false hope about changing the nature of your relationship or being released from chastity (except for the brief releases that you control.) I have told my husband a number of times that he will be locked in his belt for the rest of his life and that he will live the rest of his days under my boot.

    2. Be consistent. Routine and predictability are very important. There may be times when you are tempted to give in to your whims but it's important for your husband to know that he can count on both the good and more difficult aspects of the relationship. My husband is always provided for, never mistreated, released on a regular schedule, given leadership and direction and always kept safe.

    3. Keep your husband busy. The idle mind is the devil's playground. I keep my husband completely occupied with chores and responsibilities all day long so that his mind is focused on serving me and not distracted by dangerous thoughts.

    4. Provide reasonable releases. My husband will never enter a woman again but he does get satisfaction. It's not realistic to keep him chastised at all times.

    5. Train him to associate sexual satisfaction with your dominance. This took a long time, and only in the last year did he overcome his mental blocks to allow himself to feel pleasure from having his ass invaded. Now when I peg him he feels intimacy and is able to orgasm, with his status confirmed by being mounted by me while on all fours. He recently has even come around to feeling some satisfaction when I lock on the anal attachment to his belt. Having one of my dildos pushed high and tight up his ass is a constant reminder that I own him, and he's learned to generate some physical enjoyment from it at times.
     
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  17. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Long term member

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    #267 MeanBitch, Sep 8, 2019
    Things my husband shared with me which are interesting:

    1. His life is hard but he knows he will always be cared for and provided for, and that is a relief to him. I don't play games with him, he knows I will always be there for him.

    2. He knows that he is inherently weak and that being under my control is what's best for him.

    3. Being locked in chastity still is very hard but getting somewhat easier over time as he's trained his mind not to think too many sexual thoughts and to avoid pornography.

    4. The key to his being happier has been consciously overcoming his male pride and adopting a more traditionally female mindset.

    5. For the first 2-3 years he tried to imagine reverting to a traditionally male role in a different relationship but gradually realized that he was born to serve in an FLR and that it really wasn't;t a choice but rather his destiny.
     
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  18. AprilC
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    #268 AprilC, Sep 8, 2019
    Each response you have given has shown great depth and even an appropriate level on compassion. Thank you for sharing such important insights.
     
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    RexVa Long term member

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    #269 RexVa, Sep 8, 2019
    Congratulations on such an important anniversary!

    You must, and should be, quite proud of everything you have accomplished, including leading and strengthening your relationship in such a firm, caring, and altogether exemplary manner, while achieving professional success as an attorney in an extremely competitive city like DC.

    Here's to more posts on your thoughts and FLR activities here, and to many more lustra of marital happiness and personal satisfaction for you! Enjoy--you deserve it.
     
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    RexVa Long term member

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    #270 RexVa, Sep 8, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2019
    On that, has he shared with you any details or aspects regarding the teasing you may provide (the kinds that are mutually preferred, or perhaps a potential lack--or insufficient supply--thereof) over the years as part of his feedback?

    More importantly, how do you like to tease him, and how often: the routine teasing, and separately, when you need the teasing to help deliver maximum benefit to you? I'm sure there may be areas of learning for many in that regard.
     
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  21. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    #271 mrfelix, Sep 21, 2019
    We are very interested meanbitch!
     
  22. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    #272 mrfelix, Sep 21, 2019
    Congratulations MeanBitch!
    Your marriage and domination over your husband has been the highlight of the Mansion.
    Your relationship is fascinating and absolutely beautiful.
    Such a powerful woman.
    Please continue your updates!
     
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  23. Guy
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    Guy Master of a haven for congenial, kinky friends.

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    #273 Guy, Sep 21, 2019
    Indeed, if anybody sounds like the kind of person I'd not want to spend time with, I just block, ignore, whatever and move on ..
     
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  24. Guy
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    Guy Master of a haven for congenial, kinky friends.

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    #274 Guy, Sep 21, 2019
    Have you ever considered feminising him, having him dress as a woman, or a housemaid, wear make-up, etc.?

    IMHO it may be helpful be helpful to him in adopting a more traditionally female mindset. I have found that to be true with those of my girls who are not ciswoman. They report that wearing a skirt or dress, with a chastity belt or device, but without panties, makes them feel much more vulnerable and thus less assertive.

    (Though it may just be that I fancy them more whilst en-femme, so they get more attention from me, which they enjoy.)
     
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  25. mrfelix
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    mrfelix mrfelix

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    #275 mrfelix, Oct 15, 2019
    Got a question for you. When your husband was injured from your pegging him, did you unlock him for the trip to the doctors office?
    Do he admit that he was injured by being pegged by his wife?
    What a interesting visit that must have been. Any details?
    I'm glad he can now enjoy your dominance and intimacy of the act. With a lot of lube I'm sure.
    Yours is the best blog on chastity mansion. More entries about everyday living with a Dominant no bullshit Wife please.
     
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