I used this introduction in a forum about "Loving Female Authority". After years of searching to find what connects with me I finally found it. And I am very happy to say my loving wife is willing to give a go at it! :::::::::::::::: The term LFA (Loving Female Authority) can mean many things. What LFA means to me starts with loving no relationship can last without love. I love my wife as much as I did the day I fell in love with her, none of that has changed over the years of marriage. Something that has changed is my attention to her and her needs. Slowly over the years my attention toward her has slipped and our sex life has also slipped. With work, the kids, person down time, it has been very hard to focus. Through our marriage, I have been driven by my sexual fantasies to explore much of the D/s lifestyle only to find out it did not fill the void I was searching for. The female part of it was clear; I did require any just female. I am a very strong willed person and do not bend or waver very often but for one person I do, she is the center of my universe, she makes me whole, she is my mate for life. She has stood by me, weathered the explorations of many interest and still loved me, even if she felt uncomfortable, and for that I feel very ashamed. I was only thinking of myself and not her. But one thing is very clear, I need my wife. I purged all interest, trying to clear my mind so I might understand myself better. I questioned myself, What am I truly looking for? Over the last few years I have opened my mind extensively to understand my inner self. Coming to the last key part, Authority, completing the puzzle, I control all aspects of my life, even at work I control a great deal of my schedule, work load, and stress level. I need some authority over me to balance myself out. Coming full circle, (LFA), the theory of my loving wife having some authority over me, fills the void completely. I do not long for a scolding like a child nor kneel at the feet of my wife and be treated as a dog. Ultimately there is some level of authority that I do want her to have over my life. This came clear to me after reading more about LFA, there are many variations of LFA. From the most elaborate where the female controls all aspects of the financial, sexual, household, basically all decisions and all chores are done by the male to the simplest where only a few aspects of the relationship is changed. I fit in the simplest area. As an example, one thing I have pointed out to my wife over the years is the way she asks to have me do something. I would like to go to the mall; would you like to go with me? Now reading this I can tell that she wants to go to the mall and not go alone. But when asked, there is an out and I usually will take it by saying no, I would rather Now how to rectify this is for her to take the authority I wish to give her and to just say, I am going to the mall and want you to go with me. I know for a fact, every time she has introduced anything to me this way I go/do. This is something I believe she can adapt to easily because she does do it from time to time naturally. I enjoy doing things to please her, getting a drink, cleaning, giving a massage, and pleasing her in bed. I have more of a self satisfaction when told than asked to do something for her. LFA is about her needs and wants giving me more focus on that and how to achieve a better relationship, and pleasing her. The perpetual issue for me is our sex life. Right now it is very predictable, scheduled and to be honest very blaa. This I feel is because of myself. There is a downward spiral of issues that cause this. Some examples are; the way I suggest sex, I bring up sex in pretty much any conversation, grope her at inappropriate times. I didnt think about these things till reading about FLA. FLA points out these flaws and brought them to my attention. Secondly and one of the main issues I believe is the fact that I will forgo the idea of a sexual encounter for a quick moment in the bathroom alone to get a release. Over the years we have dabbled in chastity play. During those times I found myself focused on my wife more and without the ability to get a quick release my sexual energy was much higher. I have thought of bringing up the idea of chastity again within the FLA because it is very common and accepted in a FLA relationship. I do not see chastity being a 24/7 365 thing. It could be used to increase my focus on her or remind me of the FLA that I have wished to be in, for when I have disappointed/made her mad, when traveling, or just to increase my sexual energy before we enjoy private time together. This aspect of the FLA would have to be figured out better. The excitement I have found again is because of the idea of FLA; it brings me down to earth, has opened my eyes and may bring my wife and I closer than we have ever been. Now the direction I must go is introducing her to FLA and how it would affect us.