My husband and chastity, the real world, not fantasy...

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  1. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    So if a partner doesn't want to implement corporal punishment in her partner because she had negative trauma or issues growing up, but her partner really really wants it ...

    This can be used to help work through those issues by using the joy of discpline that the partner likes to remove the pain from the past. Once the partner can control what hurt them in the past, then healing begins. The other aspect is once it no longer is a problem, then the fetish can be embraced as an act of love and service.

    The more I read in feminism and life, I do believe men that are interested in Chastity truly do love women deeper than most, but given societies training of traditional tropes, it becomes very important for men to experience how a woman feels.

    E.g. flip the roles ... make the guy prep like a woman does with dress and outlook (doesn't have to be feminization of course). But for example, make him learn to shave everything regularlly, make sure he gets his ass smacked and treated as an object (lovingly of course).

    Then (with consent) the fear women have over personal safety is always there .... the lessons men can learn when the power is in the hands of woman can teach respect on a level, and also toughens up the man to keep other guys in check.

    So to quote a TV series ... Pain make you smart ..... If you are open to sharing your fears and phobias, I and others can help craft something devious for you (feel free to PM also).

     
  2. JuneChas
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    #102 JuneChas, Mar 10, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2019
    That was part of the punishment in this recent infraction, he did receive a corporal punishment that was quite severe but then was confined to the closet for 24 hours restrained which is very hard for him to endure, that is why I do this as I had mentioned in previous posts.

    I was not going to wait for the recent issue to discipline however, what the infraction was is that I came home early and he is always locked when I am away. He did not know I had come into the house and I caught him in the bathroom using his electric toothbrush through his cage to pleasure himself. Even though hands are off, he found another way which is an issue we are currently addressing. We are working on how to restrict orgasms when I am not there to supervise him. It is hard for me to deny his orgasms when he finds other ways. I am thinking of other ways to deny him things he enjoys (mainly me) that will make him suffer and reflect on his indiscretions.

    ~Junechas
     
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  3. JuneChas
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    Thank you for the response!

    I absolutely do not want this to be wank fodder, thank you for recognizing that. In my many past posts, I have outlined our discipline regiments and even the tools we use, I try to change it up so it is not always the same punishment, I do not want him becoming complacent with his punishments to where they lose meaning.

    ~Junechas
     
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  4. JuneChas
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    #104 JuneChas, Mar 10, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2019
     
  5. JuneChas
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    Thoughtful response!

    First, I have no issues serving corporal punishments. It was something that took me a while to get used to, but now, I would not have it any other way. I actually felt bad at first, but I am over that now and in our relationship, punishments are done for reason (other than the occasional maintenance.

    I had to smile when you said that our fetish activities are one of love and service, everything we do is done out of love whether it is playful or a severe blistering punishment. I honestly feel that we are closer than we ever have been to each other and the fear of discipline that he has now is not fear of me which also took me a while to understand. I had mentioned that he is a bit of a painslut so I have to be creative to ensure there is meaning behind punishment and not all punishments are corporal.

    I agree that traditional gender roles can cause confusion for many, he is very in touch with me and this continues to improve which is a result of all of the things we have been doing and have tried since 2016. I do have him shave regularly and he must be inspected, if I am not happy then I decide what to do, I do set the expectation that if I am going to keep myself maintained for him, he must do the same for me.

    I also sincerely believe that a real man is one that has the ability to unconditionally submit to a female for reasons other than BDSM, without devotion, that is meaningless, it is just an action that is done to satisfy a fetish that really changes nothing.

    I have no problems sharing my fears and phobias, let me do some soul searching and I will post soon on that. I will say that occasionally I get apprehensive when disciplining and feeling bad, this happens a lot less than it used to but it does still happen, probably because I am a truly empathetic person at heart. Then I think about how my husband has changed, become more attentive and understanding of my needs and it helps to overcome that.

    ~Junechas
     
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  6. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Long term member

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    This is a wonderful thread , thank You @JuneChas for sharing all of this
     
  7. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Long term member

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    @JuneChas may I ask how long were You and Your husband doing all this before Your first post here in 2016? It’s very impressive how advanced You guys are and how many things Yiu do and how You guys explore so. UCB and try things and really You take charge.
    How did You get to be so open to doing things and both of Youget to open up so much without fear and then realized wow we really love this let’s do more it’s so good for me and him.
    I’m just curios and truly impressed how much You do and how You go for it and just do it. That’s a very strong relationship and extremely bdsm and kinky.
    I have to show my wife dom kh @Ma’am M this thread. It is a great platform to see how much some couples can do and have such a strong relationship.

    Also has Your husband joined? I def would be interested in reading his posts also

    Thank You @JuneChas
     
  8. JuneChas
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    We started doing this in early 2016, I think it was February. Honestly, my husband did not approach me about chastity but more of an FLR relationship, we started trying chastity about a month before I joined. I had mentioned a few times that I was apprehensive at first which I think is mainly because I was scared that I would not be doing it right, but my husband had no solid expectations and we developed what we have turned into together. He expressed his desire to give himself to me unconditionally because be felt that it was the ultimate act of devotion and trust. Because of trust, we have openness, he is willing to try anything I want (other than hard limits) and I encourage him to tell me the things he wants to try although it is ultimately my decision because of how we live in our FLR world. He is not my bitch, my doormat, or beneath me, he is a man, more of a man than I have ever had in my life because he willingly wants to submit to me to be a better person, in his words he has told me that "giving himself to me for pleasure, discipline, and serving my needs gives him fulfilment in life" and I love the man he has become because of how our relationship has changed. It takes the pressure off of him to fill the traditional gender role as a dominant man which honestly in this day and age is a bunch of BS. He realizes that a true loving relationship is 50/50 and he sees the empowerment that I have as something that is not a gift, but something that allows me to take control and strengthen our loving relationship, he is not my bitch, he is the love of my life and no one could ever replace him. He treats me every day as if someone is trying to take me away from him, is he possessive of me? absolutely, but not in the sense that is controlling, he loves me and treats me as his queen, he doesn't have to try to keep me, I'm not going anywhere!

    As for him joining, I have not allowed him to yet, I am planning on letting him do this soon.

    ~Junechas
     
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  9. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Long term member

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    Thank You @JuneChas
    This is inspirational!
     
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  10. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    Super news than as getting over the genderized stereotypes and handling the negative feedback that happens from a female perspective is the major "red door" that not all can open successfully.

    If your man is showing a "pain slut" attitude, you should embrace it as you are empowering his ability to withstand and show his perseverance in standing by you. Not all men realize that women continually test men (presuming heterosexuality), to ensure that they love them, respect them, and desire them. It is a biological thing as they want the man to be there and be strong when they are weak (think pregnancy and child bearing days). The issue with a submissive man for most women is the fact that they fall into genderized stereotypes that the man won't be there or protect them, not realizing submission is showing that they are trusting their partner deeply.

    I have suggested this before, but one of the areas that usually causes strong women and respectful/subserviant men to fail is the fact that either they get taken out by a stronger alpha -or- they die because they lose their will to live. (early mortality). They don't realize they need to embrace both their female and male inner warriors to be strong and let the feminine spirits overtake the male one, and thus atrophy and since biology plays a part, their immune system and strength go away.

    There are women that deeply desire FLR/FLM and want to be in charge and in control, and desire a strong alpha follower. It speaks volumes of their independence and power if the man is super strong and can take it, yet can say ... I love you and respect you, please lead or delegate what you trust of me to do for you on your behalf.

    As such (taking those two things ... plus the objectification aspects), it is critical that the male partner "pretty" up by having a low body fat, good definition, and is in great shape. If he isn't that is ok .... it is time for him to get in a hard workout.

    While he "hardens' himself under your direction, corporal punishment is required to ensure that he sticks with it. This can be your defacto excuse for daily, weekly, or whatever period of rigorous punishment is required.

    If he needs motivation ... being able to take more crop, cane, whip, or whatever implement you use over time is a great example. Once he nears his goals, I would then suggest a make or break situation.

    Can he outlast you in corporal punishment. Who breaks first ... him or you from physical exhaustion. If you break, you should dangle the carrot for the weekend of being a stepforrd 1950's wife who gets the same punishment he has .....

    Be well and thank you for your kind words and response.

     
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  11. JuneChas
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    Good Evening!

    I was reading this entire blog to reflect on our journey since we began our FLR relationship, in hindsight, I think we started off too heavy in the things we did more out of excitement to try everything. Over two years later, I am honestly happy with where we are on how we live our FLR lifestyle. I realized 24/7 chastity is not necessary but I do enforce it when he is alone because I have a strict hands-off himself policy.

    I reflect on how apprehensive I was in the beginning. I was nervous to hold the dominant role. Over time, as we have grown, I realize that it is not me dominating him, it is not female supremacy where I am more than him but more ensuring that we are equal and that he knows his place as such.

    Disciplining him has brought new meaning for us and we have always played with toys and spanking but it was playful "sexy time" and now there is a firm difference between that and discipline. Discipline now has many varieties whether it is chastity, spiked cock rings, corporal punishment, being restrained and made to be alone. This variety makes things not routine and allows the punishment to fit the crime. I will say that I have become partial to the whip and wooden paddle for discipline, I have mentioned that my husband is a bit of a painslut, but the whip does make him worried now; when punishment is needed, it is always given.

    When he is restrained in the closet, however I do it (I have gone into detail in previous posts), he has given me feedback that when he is not allowed to sleep in the bed with me that it is one of the worst punishments that I can give him that does not involve impact play. This is regardless of how he is restrained or what implements I make him endure over night (plugs, gag, spiked devices, etc.). He says it is because he feels alone without me at night and do I miss him sometimes, yes, but I try to be strict. I do have to say that there have been times that I would go to the closet and have him service me however I want whether it is just with his tongue of if I feel like having sex with him which I do for my needs and not his.

    I have mentioned many times how comfortable I am with our new lifestyle and how I have overcome my apprehensiveness. I am not sure if it was because I felt me being dominant made me less feminine of if I was just scared of doing something wrong or hurting him however, all of those feelings are now in the past because we do everything together and he is much better than he was in the past, I can't say I love him more, that is not possible, but some of the behaviors that irritated me are now gone. It is because of expectations I have set with him, defining consequences, and his genuine desire to serve me that has made this work for us. He has told me many times that serving me and me giving the lead gives him fulfillment and satisfying me gives him genuine satisfaction, not pretend satisfaction.

    With all of that said, I hope that this inspires females who are scared to take this journey, it may seem hard at first but trust me, you will fine your groove and what works for both of you. If you have a husband or significant other that has the desire to serve you, nurture that if that is the person's desire. I had said before, it takes a real man to surrender control and see through the traditional gender barriers.

    I needed to do some reflection, thanks everyone for listening!

    ~Junechas
     
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  12. JuneChas
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    I have no concern that my husband is strong and there for me when I am weak, there has never been an issue there. I know he would protect me, just as I would do for him! I never see him as weak, if anything he is stronger because of how we live our life.

    At first, the FLM was challenging but my husband is my strong alpha follower, I have no desire to find another one, I know there are some that have the husband pet as a cuck and then get their satisfaction from another alpha, but that's not me, he gives me everything I desire, and more!

    He does have to keep himself shaved down below, I make his food choices for him to keep him healthy but I do not push him to have a rock hard muscular body, that doesn't do it for me. I expect him to be presentable and clean, that is my requirement for him.

    I do like the idea of seeing who breaks first during a corporal punishment session, I will keep that in mind.

    Thank you for the reply

    ~Junechas
     
  13. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    You are more than welcome. Remember the most exquisite tortures are the ones where it is a predicament and you know that he will eventually tire and fail.

    West world had a great example of one where one of the Hosts (partner of Ed Harris) was hung up side down while over an ant hill and the only way he could keep the fire ants away was by swinging. I am not saying to do the same thing, but use your imagination or feel free to ask for help/suggestions

     
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  14. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Long term member

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    Hi just caught up with this post. I went through a period of playing with a girlfriend who would put me in a diaper at bedtime and then give me a nice warm long drink of a diuretic tea before tying me to a metal framed single bed for the night. Of course at some point I had to wet my diaper during the night. But being bound there was nothing I could do about it and so had to lay and try to sleep until the morning when she would come in and inspect me.

    A wet diaper earned a hard caning for not being able to control myself.

    We never progressed to me soiling a diaper although I purchased the necessary suppositories. So it is now something I wish had happened.

    As you say the whole business of having to wear a diaper and not being able to control yourself is very humiliating. I love the thought of having my legs spread so that there is no way to even clench to prevent the inevitable.
    Yes having control of those basic bodily functions taken away so that you can not control them is very powerful and very submissive. You have one very lucky husband.
     
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  15. JuneChas
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    Hello,

    It is very humiliating, but fully soiling is not something that we do, it was an experiment once but nothing we continued to do. I do agree that taking control of regular body functions can be fun such as forced orgasms and breath play! I am the lucky one to have such a devoted husband... Best of luck fulfilling your fantasies. I had thought about a single twin frame bed for him but we don't have the room, that is why I will restrain him in the closet, with kids in the house, it is better that way as well.

    ~Junechas
     
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  16. JuneChas
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    Hello!

    I was thinking about a recent post about tying to a twin metal bed frame and that we do not have the room for it. I thought to improvise on this and added something similar to "closet time" for my husband. We have a walk-in closet which is large enough for him to lay down and I can retrain him to opposite ends with his hands tied over his head, the best part about this is that it is very discrete. I put some metal eye-hooks in the base boards and have added restraining him this way for the night or during punishment time in addition to restrictive tying, and tying to a chair for reflection time. I have made him sleep like this a few times, naked of course, and he has told me that it is a strict punishment. He says that the punishment is two sided, one is that he cannot sleep with me and the other is that he cannot roll over or change position, he is stuck the way I leave him.

    Putting him on his back or stomach is dependent on what I may want to do to him later, do I want to give him a surprise pegging? Do I want to come in and tease him or get some pleasure myself? I will often add sensory deprivation toys that may not allow him to hear or see depending on my mood which I love because he does not know that I am coming. One thing I do enjoy for punishment is force feeding him an ED pill while in the spiked chastity cage or the SxySadist ring, there is nothing he can do to avoid the pain, he has to suffer through it.

    I also added two points that are closer together that make him restrained in the ass-up position which I use more for short term, I have never left him overnight in this position. I usually put a stool or something he can prop up on so he does not tilt over. When I combine this with sensory deprivation gear, I will come back and punish him at a time of my choosing, this way it is not the typical retrain and punish scenario. It makes him wait and anticipate what is coming and when punishment time comes, there is no warning and no indication that I am there; I will start punishing hard and swift with no warm-up. I add some psychological play as well, no matter how sensory deprived he is, he can tell when I am close, sometimes I will just pace around him and leave making him wonder if he is going to be punished, other times I will go in the closet as quietly as possible and begin his punishment. I try to switch things up as much as possible so he cannot figure out what is going to happen by my actions.

    More to come later, and as usual, always looking for new ideas.

    ~Junechas
     
  17. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut Long term member

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    Thank You for sharing . You seem to really be into this it’s a wonderful thing to read . He is a lucky guy!!
     
  18. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    To be restrained not knowing what will happen next is the ultimate in anticipation pleasure. Every little sound you hear from your Mistress makes your cage tighter and wetter. She doesn’t even need to do anything to you, you do it to yourself with your imagination. Priceless
     
  19. JuneChas
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    Hello everyone,

    I wanted to share two things that we have added to our collection

    First is the "Bondage Board" which I picked up. It is very discrete and folds up nicely. We have enough restraints to bind arms and legs (8 total) in a very restrictive position. As with other things, I tell him to prepare himself in the restraints and then I lock him down. The nice thing about this is that it can go on the floor or bed so I can do with him as I please whether it is reflection time or punishment. I can put him ass up or legs spread depending on what I want to punish on him, plus, it is easy to take with us if we travel, it is discrete enough to carry into a hotel room :)

    https://www.extremerestraints.com/the-bondage-board.html

    Second, I do enjoy wax play but it does get messy. I found a toy that I can use for punishment and for a nice stable place to put his goods while waxing him mercilessly, cleanup is very easy. Plus, if he is in need of aa CBT session, I can also close the top and crush his balls. We have done ball crushing and I made one out of some bolts and thick plexiglass so it does not bend if a severe crushing is needed, however, something like this does just as well and is great for wax play.

    https://www.extremerestraints.com/the-cock-and-ball-crusher-board.html

    ~Junechas
     
  20. Love2blocked
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    What a fantastic story!!!
    I suppose it just goes to show how good FLR can really be, loving , attentive, caring, and absolutely cruel..enjoy your time together..
     
  21. LockedPom
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    That ball crusher looks a bit scary!
     
  22. JuneChas
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    Hello everyone,

    Anyone that has been following my posts knows that I look for was to really punish my painslut husband. Over the past few weeks we have been getting a lot of use out of our humbler. I have been trying new ways for punishing with this since the balls are so sensitive. He was particularly bad a few weeks ago and I had to think of something new for punishment.

    I mentioned before that I like the humbler when pegging him and tugging on it while we "play" but here are some things that really would have brought him to his knees (if he could with this device on).

    Having him bent over with his balls exposed is very submissive, especially when I have him restrained other ways in addition to this. My favorite thing to punish him with is the riding crop in this position, it is precise and inflicts a lot of pain, I do not think I would ever use the cane on his balls like this because of the potential for damage, but who knows, I may do this in the future. I have bruised his ball sack, but trust me ladies, everything is fine on the inside, the skin is very sensitive. Do not be scared at the visual of bruising, it will heal. I have used some of our whips and slappers as well. Other times I use my hand and slap them over and over and get them a nice shade of red and throw a punch or two to switch things up (make sure you use the flat part of your fist and not knuckles). There are many possibilities here to where your imagination can take you and the color you desire your balls to be. I do HIGHL?Y recommend putting some lotion on his balls before impact play.

    Second, we have a few electro shock units, while he is bent over, I have attached pads to each of his balls and punished him this way. Trust me, if you have this on high on his balls and leave him there for 30 minutes or more, he will seriously think twice about doing what he did wrong again. I find not reason to increase the power each time, he usually gets it full strength. When feeling more discipline is needed, I may cane his ass while he is receiving his therapy.

    Other things in my evil mind that I want to try soon with the humbler are:

    1. Waxing
    2. Attaching as many clothes pegs to his balls as I can and whipping them off, I heard that is very painful
    3. Make him service me while wearing the humbler

    Anyone have any other ideas of what we could do in the humbler?

    ~Junechas
     
  23. JuneChas
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    Hi Everyone,

    I wanted to get some opinions on something.

    I was thinking of restraining my husband as we do for punishment in the closet not only for punishment activities but also because I just want some quiet time. The conflict that I am having internally is that if it will take something away from this being done for punishment, would it diminish the value of it.

    I see some psychological play coming into light here. As I had mentioned before, I have restrained him without telling him why in the closet with his sensory hood on sometimes just waiting to see what will happen, sometimes punishment, sometimes sensual, and rarely nothing at all, I do like to have fun after all.

    We all need quiet time once in a while and what I have been thinking of to incorporate this is that if I hear him at all or any noise because he moves, he would be punished, so I guess I could incorporate this into our FLM activities. If I were to punish him on the spot then I would probably require him to not make any verbal sounds while being punished and I would spank him harshly with that expectation. I would restart the count if he makes a noise (probably no less than 30) until he can endure the whole punishment without making a sound (other than the safe word or motion if he is gagged).

    I have also mentioned my friend that has her male pets. I could also restrain him when she is over and let her punish him if he needs it, I would honestly get turned on a bit by this. I would tell him I am here to punish him but then stand back and let my friend do the punishing. This would be very rare, but something I could do. I may even remove his blindfold so he can see me and that I am not punishing him just to make him wonder what is going on.

    However, if the point of his restraint is because I need some quiet time, should I let him know that is the reason or let him wonder why he is in the closet? I keep leaning towards letting him know so he has an understanding why, thoughts?

    My imagination is running wild again...

    -Junechas
     
    Whiskey05, slave_m and John like this.
  24. John
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    John Member

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    Why not chain him or lock him in another room and leave him there so you get quite a time maybe gag him. This way he can stay for longer. Think it's a great idea with the friend maybe it would be a fantasy and humiliating for him.
     
  25. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    All I can say is wow! :)
     
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