My Hands Free Journal

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MissCarly, May 25, 2019.

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  1. Deleted member 97060
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    Very nice how it should be kept. Also tell your mistress thank you for using Dolly
     
  2. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Mistress has told me, in no uncertain terms, that when i'm I'm dressed en femme, I will answer to the name, "Dolly". She told me she chose Dolly because it is unambiguously feminine, and, with use, will further feminize my personality, making me a better person. In addition, she told me that she ordered new i.d. disks for me, to be attached to my pink leather choker, and my steel slave collar. On the front side it says:
    DOLLY,
    on the reverse it says:
    SISSY SUB
    IN CHASTITY
    01-01-09
    The date on the disk is an approximate of when she first took sexual control by denying me p.i.v. sex, essentially neutering me, a decision, she has told me, she is proud to have made.
    Mistress has ordered that if anyone asks me about the disk, i have to show them both sides of it, acknowledging that yes, my name is Dolly, and Yes, I am someone's submissive sissy.
    About an hour ago, i received a package in the mail, a pocket bra for the B cup inserts Mistress already gave me, plus the thinner forms that came with the bra. I guess combined they make either a very full B cup, or even a C. The bra is comfortable to wear. Seemingly reading my mind, Mistress reassured me that she had also ordered a wig for me, to add to Dolly's feminine look. This wig arrived while I was writing the above. Mistress said that my transformation into Dolly is moving along nicely.
    My thanks to MissGuselessProperty for her vote for Mistress to name my blossoming self, "Dolly." Mistress agreed that the name is perfect for me. She didn't say why, just that it is. She decided that to help me get used to being Dolly, she had me wear the new tits and wig, and inserted the 4" butt plug inside me. As I type this, the feel of the plug makes me want Mistress to peg me, giving me some relief with a sissygasm. She has assured me that is not going to happen tonight.
    Attached are test photos of Dolly and one of me in a new favorite position.
    MissCarly (aka Dolly) curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  3. Deleted member 97060
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    Love the change very nice
     
  4. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Thank you. I have to work on slimming down, get somewhat of a female figure. Having an actual waist would be nice. BTW, Mistress liked that you thought Dolly would be a good name for me.
     

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  5. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Written earlier, the Dolly chronicles:
    Mistress and i went to the city for a change of scenery, ate at the Old Town Bar, (made famous by Letterman), walked around and wound up at a nearby gay bar. After a beer, Mistress said, "Dolly, if you wanna get laid, you're on your own here", patted my cage through my jeans, and went home. I am wearing my steel slave collar (locked on) with the Dolly tag. I feel like it's hunting season, and i'm a deer, with a bullseye painted on me, waving a flag, yelling, "Here i am." So far everyone has come in groups, ignoring the fish in the barrel, if i may mix my metaphors. I'll give it a little longer. I wonder if this is a lesson from Mistress not to make a big thing out of sex, or how i am sexually irrelevant. I will have to think about that.
    I might have been a bit forward with the bartender. He told me to follow him, in a stern voice. Intimidated, I did as ordered, and soon found myself in a back room, on my knees, blowing him. Then the other bartenders took their turn. My ass was not touched. I'm not sure if i should be pleased or insulted.
     

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  6. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Was just pegged by Mistress while reading the chat. Felt like i was performing for an audience. Attached photos: 1.exhausted just after getting fucked; 2. where the action happened; 3. showing off Mistress' now clean cock. 4. Now for a shower. I feel stretched and content. I really needed that.
     

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  7. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Mistress just took off my jailbird and replaced it with the full belt after i mentioned that my balls were uncomfortable. She said the belt wouldn't put any pressure on my balls, and would have the added plus of reminding me not to snack if I wanted the belt to be comfortable. The belt has a tendency to pinch my balls, so I'm worse off than before. I have to learn to keep quiet.
     

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  8. MissCarly
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    Mistress' talked about my chastity with her bf Silver. This was done in front of me, as though I wasn't there. Silver suggested that I wear the larger Jailbird (a whopping 2 1/2" , well, unless i grow, that's a lot of room for me) so i can thoroughly clean my clitty without having to remove the cage. I would have to be certain to keep my sack lubed so as not to get the burn. Mistress suggested he do the honors. So, he had me strip in the middle of the living room, then put me in the cage, sealing it with a numbered plastic padlock, to remind Mistress not to let me out without consulting him. Just like that Mistress gave Silver joint control of me. He said he is curious about how long I could go before I begin to, "whine like a bitch". Mistress proposed that she shoot for Halloween, when she could unveil Dolly outside, and not worry if i couldn't pull it off. He had me take a photo of my cage, showing today's date to make this timed lock up official. Anyone we know can demand that I show them the padlock is intact. Mistress said if i complained about being locked up, Silver would have some men he knows run a train on me. I don't know if the threat is serious, and am determined not to find out.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  9. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    The other day, Mistress ordered me to address Silver as "Baron", as a sign of respect, while maintaining her status as Queen of the relationship. Baron looked at me and remarked that this house has two queens. Mistress laughed at this, and agreed with him. He then locked the pink collar around my neck and said that every queen should have a eunuch as court jester. "Another name for "jester" is "fool," he said. "Did you know that, little miss?" As this was obviously rhetorical, I just bowed my head and put my hands behind my back, in the accepted house submission position. He hooked his finger in my collar's ring, said he had a job for me, and led me to their bedroom. Mistress followed and watched me be thoroughly used, eventually joining in. Eunuch, indeed.
    Today, in the spirit of chastity romance, i just sent Robert a photo of my locked cock, looking shrunken in it's cage after my shower. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I know it's difficult to believe, but when aroused, I press against the cage, trying to get a real erection. Trying. Just a caged eunuch.
     

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  10. MissCarly
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    My new tags just arrived. Mistress told me i will be wearing a tag around my neck 24/7.
    Unless we're meeting family, it will be the DOLLY tag. She says it's purpose is to help me accept that Dolly has always been the part of me that has never been allowed to flower. I am lucky that Mistress cares for me enough to help my inner femininity flourish; to become truly myself..
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  11. MissCarly
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    Silver...excuse me, Baron, just called me, said something like: "Send me a photo of that mouse in a cage, right now, little miss. Don't make me wait."
    I know he is messing with me to assert his dominance. Classic schoolyard bullshit. I hope he gets tired of this stuff soon. Did he really think I would cut the plastic seal unless directed by Mistress? Oh well.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  12. MissCarly
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    Mistress is proceding with her plan to bring out my femininity, possibly eventually being in girl clothes at least half the time, possibly close to full time. She won't say, enjoying the suspense she is creating.

    List of Mistress' recent additions to my wardrobe, either received, or on order:
    1 Black Wig
    1 Pocket Bra, C cup (Skin)
    1 Pocket Bra, C cup (Black)
    2 Dresses (floral prints, 1 long, 1 mid length)
    1 black skirt
    5 frilly short sox, variety of colors
    1 Gaff
    1 Waist Trainer
    1 Pair Mary Janes (Black)
    1 pair of lifts ("You'll look cuter if you're taller)
    1 black Shoulder Bag
    1 Breast Form (vest style) D cup

    As the list shows, there can be no doubt that Mistress is determined to change me, as near as is possible without drugs or surgery, into a feminine me. Although she is trying to transform how I think, react, picture myself, and how I relate to people and situations in terms my perceived gender, I don't know if the term "trans woman" will apply to my situation.
    Mistress has taken to addressing me as "Dolly" at home, an indication that she now thinks of me that way
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     
  13. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    2 waist trainers came today, 3XL and 2XL. Mistress had me try them. The 2XL was too small, so I tried the 3XL. I could fasten the middle row of hook and eyes. Mistress told me i'll be wearing it the rest of the day. Not too uncomfortable, i'm happy to say. I feel very aware of the trainer (corset?) And what it represents in my transformation into an attractive, sexy Dolly...i hope.
    Yesterday, Mistress had me go into Greenwich Village wearing a black skirt, my C cupsshowing them off under a light shirt. Was going to wear my wig, but Mistress decided it was too hot. Mistress gave me a black shoulder bag, to make up for my lack of pockets. Something else to get used to. Also was told to put on red lipstick liner. The liquid stuff. Whatever it's called. I went to a gay bar where they sold Gay Beer. No kidding, i took a photo.
    I also caught a drag show at the bar, took a photo of the headliner. She show was fun and funny.
     

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  14. MissCarly
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    Was doing laundry yesterday when i had a minor revelation. Since I've been wearing frilly satin panties, i've been doing something i have never had to do before: seperating my delicates. I used to throw everything in the machine in one manly mass, but now there is the ritual, the necessity, of washing my panties seperately. It's part of being in a different head space.
    Speaking of head space, day 2 of waist training, Mistress had me use the tightest row of fasterers, to keep me from thinking of it as just a garment. It most certainly is snug. And I have another trainer, next size down, to look forward to, in pursuit of an hourglass figure. I read where the wearer (trainee?) should commit to every day for at least 2 months to achieve a noticable change. And that's just the start of that journey. OK.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  15. MissCarly
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    Mistress told me there was a pkg for me in today's mail. It was a male sissy bra, to hold whatever breasts i might have, now or later. It is for me to wear, reminding me that i am her sissy. As the online catalog entry describes it: Men's Breathable Sissy Lace Wire-Free No pad Bra Top Crossdress Bralette Gay Underwear. I think Mistress wants to help me develop berasts, making my sexuality ambiguous. Of course I had to try it on right away for her. Wearing it still.
     

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  16. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Mistress wanted to take a few test pictures, to show me that i do not make a desirable woman yet. I hope my wig will make a difference.
    Seem to have pinchrd my tummy with the waist trainer, making it tender. Mistress says to give myself a few days to feel better. I hate setbacks!
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  17. MissCarly
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    New D cup chestplate arrived. First test pics. Makes nice cleavage.
    While talking to Mistress about creating my feminine self (Dolly), I realized that I am doing it as much for me as I am to please her. I want to become the best version of a woman that I can be, to make both of us happy. My journey continues.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  18. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Dolly at julius bar in Greenwich Village. Playing a board game, combining Trivial Pursuit, charades, and others. Having a blast. Being hit on. Apparently I am attractive to attractive men. Looking forward to how this works out.
    As I should gave expected, went home with my ass untouched, virginal. Wondering what I have to do to get laid.
     

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  19. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Devestated

    Robert, my bf, has told me he will be moving out of state in 3 weeks. He gave me no warning, no hint. I still love him, but now I also hate him. I guess I don't matter to him. No, I can't hate him. Arrgh!
     
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  20. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Tested positive for Covid. Aches, congestion, and the blahs. We're self quarantining. Depressing. Stay well, all.
    MissCarly (beta boi) curtseys and exits her journal.
     
  21. Deleted member 97060
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    Hope you get better soon
     
  22. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Thank you.
     
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Mistress put me in the jailbird a little while ago, telling me it was staying on until I test negative for Covid. It could be a week, a month, or several months. She pointed out that as I fit in the cage without getting scrunched, I can do a thorough cleaning without having to have the cage removed. She took pictures of me both out of and in the cage, "For comparison for when it comes off. If it ever does." So I lay here on my bed, knowing Mistress will get bored and will come up with creative ways to play with, or tease me.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  24. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    Mistress just tossed a bundle on the bed next to me and told me to put them on. The bundle was my 3X waist trainer and my boy bra. She said that by the time I test negative for Covid I had better have a clearly defined waist, working towards an hour glass shape. Attached are photos of my second attempt with the waist trainer. This time I will take it slow and hopefully mold my body to an attractive, androgynous shape. I do like the feel of wearing the trainer.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  25. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    This morning Mistress told me that she wants me to wear my boy bra for the next 5 days. She said she wants to see if it will promote my developing man boobs, or as she likes to call them, "bitch tits". She said the bra might train my pec muscles to get more of a defined boob shape. Doesn't sound very likely to happen, but it's my place to obey, not question. We shall see. Some days I feel like a lab rat. Mistress sent the attached photos to her boyfriend to give him something to laugh at and humiliate me.
    MissCarly curtseys (like the sissy toy she is) and humbly exits her journal.
     

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