My Hands Free Journal

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MissCarly, May 25, 2019.

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  1. seasoned
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    seasoned Long term member

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    A good start, but you must face the possibility that Robert has deliberately set you a difficult task, at once demanding but ill-defined. He will be able to fail you on a pretext because he enjoys beating your bare bottom.
     
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  2. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    There is risk in everything.
     
  3. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Here is part 2.

    Carly told Josh what had happened in the shower, hoping his brother could offer some comfort, but Josh laughed at him, calling him a sissy who deserved what he got. The next day Carly dreaded having to shower after gym class. He hurried to the showers, hoping to be done before the other boys arrived or took notice of him. To his horror he found them waiting for him. They pushed him back and forth between them, laughing, chanting "Faggot." Carly slipped and fell to the shower floor. The circle closed in on him and as though planned, his classmates urinated on him. Carly began to cry. Arthur, the leader of a group of 4 boys known as the Pirates, who had been held back a grade, and therefore a year older than the others, said, "If you tell, you're dead. Nobody would care anyway. You're no one. A zero." Arthur and his pirates walked to the locker room to dress.
    A few days later Josh invited Carly to go bike riding with him. Overjoyed, starved for his brother's affection, Carly agreed.
     
  4. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Part 3

    Carly told Josh what had happened in the shower, hoping his brother could offer some comfort, but Josh laughed at him, calling him a sissy who deserved what he got. The next day Carly dreaded having to shower after gym class. He hurried to the showers, hoping to be done before the other boys arrived or took notice of him. To his horror he found them waiting for him. They pushed him back and forth between them, laughing, chanting "Faggot." Carly slipped and fell to the shower floor. The circle closed in on him and as though planned, his classmates urinated on him. Carly began to cry. Arthur, the leader of a group of 4 boys known as the Pirates, who had been held back a grade, and therefore a year older than the others, said, "If you tell, you're dead. Nobody would care anyway. You're no one. A zero." Arthur and his pirates walked to the locker room to dress.
    A few days later Josh invited Carly to go bike riding with him. Overjoyed, starved for his brother's affection, Carly agreed.
     
  5. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    A slight hiccup. Please ignore posting 354 (immediately above.
    I just finished reading part 3 to Robert, so here it is, the futher experiences of someone who didn't fit in and the consequences.

    Josh led the way, taking his time, finally arriving at the entrance to a local park. The boys pedaled in, eventually going down a secluded path. Carly imagined himself an explorer in a secluded forest. Josh stopped and got off his bike. Suddenly Carly saw that Arthur and his Pirates were there waiting for him. Josh dismounted and kicked Carly's bike, sending him crashing to the ground. Josh got back on his bike and pedaled off. Carly was dragged from his bike, and left face down in the dirt, held in place by a foot on his back. Soon the boys had pulled his clothes off and began beating him on the back and legs with leafy branches that they picked off the ground. Unable to help himself, Carly cried in pain and humiliation. When the beating had stopped, the boys urinated on him once again. Arthur repeated his threat. After the Pirates rode off he got dressed, sobbing. The rest of the week passed with more anxiety than physical abuse for Carly, who considered that to be a step up.

    Wednesday, 4th Night
    At the end of the school day a month later, Carly was told by one of his classmates that he wanted to show him something cool. This boy, Reed, was as thin and nervous as Carly was, so Carly felt he could trust him as a kindred spirit. Reed led Carly to an empty classroom. Once in, the door closed behind the boys. Arthur stood in front of Carly, flanked by the Pirates, and Arthur's girlfriend, Dee. Reed said, "I'm sorry," and slunk out the room. Arthur said, " We decided that we ought to give you a little present, sort of a makeover. Drop you're pants." Trembling, Carly obeyed. Arthur picked up a flask with a black liquid. He handed the flask to Dee. "Hold still", Arthur said to Carly. He handed Dee a narrow paint brush. "Go ahead, girl," Arthur said. Showing obvious distaste, Dee began applying the liquid to Carly's penis and scrotum. She said, "Ewww," as his penis stirred slightly. The gang hooted and laughed at the sight of his black stained privates. Arthur said, "I hear that if it turns black, it's gonna shrivel up and fall off. What do you think, Dee"? "Dee said, "It looks like he's half way there already. No loss if it does fall off. Who'd want to touch that?"
     
  6. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Thursday's part of the story:
    Carly had only just arrived at school the following day when he was grabbed from behind and shoved into his locker. A voice said into his ear, "Make a sound and you're dead. The door was slammed shut. Carly spent the day in the locker, too frightened to call out, quietly sobbing. He heard the students hurrying to and from their classes. He heard the jingle of keys as the janitor walked past. Carly wanted to call out to him for help, but was afraid Arthur would find out and be angry. When Carly was certain the school was empty he unlatched the door and went home, stopping only to use the boy's rest room. He decided that he had to tell his parents an abbreviated version of why he was marked absent, holding back Arthur's name, making it sound like a random prank.
     
  7. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Last part of my homework:

    Whenever he had a free period Carly had taken to hiding from his classmates, Arthur and his Pirates in particular, in the auditorium. One day during last period, he had taken refuge there. Confident no one would find him, he relaxed and soon fell asleep. He woke to find himself being physically lifted from his chair. Arthur stood in front of Carly, an evil grin on his face. "Down", he ordered his fellow Pirates. They dragged Carly to a door beside the stage, chuckling all the way. Carly was too scared to struggle or speak. He saw that with the crew were their girlfriends, each one having the same predatory look as the boys.
    They descended the stairs into the basement. It was dimly lit with the smell of dust and decay prevalent. Arthur walked to the center of the room and said in a loud voice, "On with the show!" Two of the his soldiers dragged a couch left over from a school play to the center of the room. They then bent Carly over the back of the couch and standing in front of him, held him down by his arms, aided by the other two. The girls sat on folding chairs arranged in a semicircle around Carly. One of the girls opened a beer. Another girl moved forward and stripped Carly of his shoes, socks, pants and underwear, and returned to her seat. Arthur said to the room, "The band will be practising above us, so no one up there will hear anything else. See how everything works out for good people." The crash of the band starting filled the room. The girls leaned forward in anticipation. Arthur took Carly's belt from his pants and began to whip his bottom with it, choosing his targets carefully. The crack of the blows echoed in the room. Soon Carly was crying and begging Arthur to stop. When Arthur finally did, Carly's bottom was an angry red. Carly was relieved his ordeal was over. Then he heard Arthur say, "And now for the feature show." It was only seconds before he felt wetness being smeared between his butt cheeks. Horrified at what he knew Arthur intended, he struggled to free himself but the other boys held him fast. Soon Carly felt the pressure he feared. Arthur whispered to him, "Fight it and I'll cut your balls off." He heard the girls on the encircling chairs cheer and laugh as Arthur entered him. One of the girls said, "Oooh, Sweet Cheeks." Carly tried to scream but Arthur jammed his wadded underwear in his mouth. Arthur grabbed Carly by the hair and pulled his head back, then looped Carley's belt over his head and around his neck, continuing to force his head back. Tears ran down Carly's face. One of the boys holding him said to Arthur, " Ride 'em cowboy," and placed a cowboy hat he'd found in a corner, on Arthur's head. Arthur yelled, "Yee ha!" Soon Arthur spasmed, grunted and pulled out. One of the boys took his place. This time Carly heard the boy spit between his ass cheeks before pushing into him, his belt resuming it's pressure, slowly choking him. The girls cheered him on, yelling, "Go get him", "Rip that ass," "Make him squeal", and the like. This continued until all the boys had a turn, each one wearing the cowboy hat as he assaulted Carly. Arthur stood in front of the ravaged Carly, who felt that all his muscles had turned to jelly. Arthur grabbed Carly by the hair, holding him up, and said, "Now suck it." Panting, with no resistance left in him, Carly dropped to his knees and obeyed. Arthur soon spurted down Carly's throat. Releasing him, Arthur told one of the Pirate crew, "Pick him up." That done, Arthur slapped Carly's bottom in a jovial manner. "You've been a real sport, Sweet Cheeks. Now it would be good manners for you to thank us." With no willpower left, Carly said what Arthur told him he wanted to hear, "Thank you for fucking my ass. I like it." Then Arthur gave him further instructions. Obeying, Carly looked at the seated girls and said, "I'm a sissy cocksucker." Arthur asked Carly "Who owns your sissy ass?" Carly, sobbing, said, "You own my sissy ass." "All of it," Arthur severely prompted. Carly swollowed and said, "You own my sissy ass, Sir." "Now, what's your name?" Choking down sobs, Carly said, "Sweet Cheeks." The girls burst into laughter. At a signal from Arthur, the crew dragged Carly backwards and roughly dropped him on the couch. He cried out when his sore bottom hit the hard cushion. One of them put the cowboy hat on him. Arthur's girl walked to the couch and took photos of Carly's small, black stained penis, careful to get his face in the pictures. Fluid leaked from the tip. "Ick," she said, blowing smoke from a ciggarette in his face. "You're gross." Not to be outdone, another girl said to him, "You should die." The gang exited the room towards a corridor that would bypass the auditorium. The school's janitor stood in the doorway, slowly taking in the scene. "I'll lock up," said the janitor, entering the room, accompanied by the familiar jingling of his keys. "You and the others were never here." "Thanks, Uncle Bob, "Arthur said. Carly soon saw the janitor, dressed in soiled work clothes, smelling of cheap whiskey, walk over to him. "Looks like you've been put through it, boy," he said, "Wrung out good." He grabbed Carly by his upper arms and easily stood him up on rubbery legs. Carly thought the janitor had come to rescue him, like the cavalry does in the movies. Then the janitor repositioned Carly, draping his limp, half naked body over the back of the couch. "I'm gonna give you a real education, boy. In this life you're either the hammer or the nail. Your friends showed you which one you are." The janitor spit on Carly's ass, saying, "Prison lube." Carly would have screamed if not for the janitor's dirty, calloused hand clamped over his mouth. Carly felt the man's penis slowly enter him, stretching him. The janitor took his time with Carly, all the while stroking his hair, kissing his ears, licking his neck. He tried to beg the man to stop, but couldn't make an intelligible sound. He felt his penis twitch, beginning to stiffen. Time seemed to slow down. The man finally emptied himself inside Carly, letting out a series of guttral grunts. He pulled out and wiped his penis on Carly's shirt. "What do you say," the janitor asked calmly." Carly sniffled, wiped his nose on his sleeve and said, "Thank you, Sir," Then the janitor nodded and tenderly dressed Carly, combed his hair and walked him out of the school. The janitor put a lollypop in Carly's shirt pocket, patting it gently, a slight smile on his lips. "Safe home," he said, Trembling, Carly thanked him. "See you tomorrow, Sweet Cheeks," the janitor said, his voice low and mild. Carly could feel the janitor's eyes on him, watching him walk away. Carly wanted to cry but couldn't. The sun was bright as Carly walked home. He wanted to kill them all but knew whatever fight he might have had in him was gone. They'd broken him, put the fear into him. He felt he would never be whole again.
     
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  8. seasoned
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    seasoned Long term member

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    Task accomplished, I hope you have satisfied your master. With the story, I mean :)
     
  9. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Just about an hour ago Mistress had me see her in her bedroom. She took off my cage and with a washcloth cleaned my clitty. This was certainly out of the ordinary. After drying me, she held up a new full belt and said, "Merry Christmas". After a little fiddling, we had it locked on for a test wearing. It is heavy, but the belt distributes the weight so it is the bulk rather than the weight that I will have to get used to. It has two rear chains, covered in rubber, to facilitate #2, so that will be interesting. There is zero access to my clitty, so it is hitting all our requirements. At the bottom of the tube there is a plate which unlocks allowing a thorough cleaning without having to remove the belt. Mistress said that if all goes well, a minor adjustment or two, I will be wearing it for a good long time. Further thoughts on this to follow.
     

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  10. beta_sissy
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    beta_sissy I love to be limpy

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    New cage looks amazing
     
  11. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Thanks. I'll have a better feel for it after a few days.
     
  12. beta_sissy
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    beta_sissy I love to be limpy

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    Have you spent you time with you husband yet
     
  13. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Was with him all last week. Was a devoted house wife.
     
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  14. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    I am constantly aware of the weight of the belt, which makes me feel like a slave all over again. There is a humbling medieval aspect to having that much steel keeping me chaste. Mistress described it as, "locking away that useless little piece of meat." Last night I had a dream where I was a slave in ancient Rome. I was on the auction block, and later serving as slave to a harem. So I'm "chastity dreaming" again.
    So far my balls remain separated by the belt's tube, which means that frequent adjustment is not necessary, however, my flexibility is somewhat limited, so things even out. Mistress thinks that the belt could be tightened by one hole, to keep it firmly in place. She wants to see it press into my waist over my hip bones, so I'll be working on that soon. Mistress remarked that the 2 rear straps should provide easy access while wearing the belt."
    Update: I have taken the belt in one hole per Mistress, and I find it noticeably tighter, and therefore more comfortable. The last attached photo shows the tighter belt. Just another day in the life.

    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  15. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    I forgot to add that Mistress decided to tease me to test my reaction to being locked in the new tube. The result: uncomfortable to painful, because not only is it restrictive but also points down and between my legs. Trying to get hard while your clitty is being guided by the tube to bend backwards at a sharp angle is not fun. I now dread any prolonged teasing. Mistress said that teasing me while I'm in the belt should provoke interesting reactions. She said she is looking forward to our next teasing session, and now I have something to think about. She said she will soon be showing off my new look to the others. Oh, joy.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     
  16. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Had a strange conversation with Mistress. The question came up of why shave my pubic hair when the area is going to be covered by the belt's locking plate. We agreed that I would shave when I do a full unlocked cleaning, continuing to grow the landing strip. Mistress in fixated on my having it, case closed. How's that for a deep talk?
    Anyway, I adjusted the backside straps to have an unblocked b.m. I am including a photo looking up at the penis tube to show how urine drains. You can see where the plate unlocks for a thorough washing without unlocking the belt, which I think is a great idea.
    My only real problem is the belt makes sleeping on my back uncomfortable. When I mentioned this to Mistress, she said that a chastity belt is not supposed to be comfy, and that I would have to learn to live with it, because it wasn't coming off for 2 weeks, building up for a month between unlocking. She likes that it completely seals off my clitty. I can't touch it, feel it, or even see it. I know it is there when it tries to grow in it's steel prison, but otherwise...nothing. Her favorite mind fuck. She said she has "desexed" me. The thought seems to please her.
    MissCarly curtseys and exits her journal.
     

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  17. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Last night Mistress and Silver enjoyed themselves in their bedroom. When they were through Mistress called me in to lick his cum out of her. She then had me clean his cock with my mouth. He encouraged me by saying things like, "That's the way, slut. Good chastity slave girl." Eventually I was dismissed, with instructions to write this, to admit that I like the taste of him, and want to do it again. Mistress told me that she wants me to think of myself as having been virtually castrated, and to remember that the only sexual gratification I will ever experience will be from being fucked in the ass. So later, my subconscious decided to give me a sex dream. I woke up horny as hell and totally helpless, locked in the belt. I started touching the tube, desperate for release, and of course had absolutely no sensation in my clitty, since it is encased in steel. So I'm sitting here frustrated. Just the way Mistress likes me.
     
  18. MissCarly
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    It is now almost 10 am (about 6 hours later) and am still dealing with being horny. I told Mistress of my condition. She gave a little laugh and said that's what I get for sharing her bed like an equal. She knelt in front of me, unlocked the plate at the bottom of the penis tube and, flashlight in hand, had a look. "Yeah," she said, looking at the tip of my clitty. "There she is. Say ahh." Mistress said that as long as the plate was off, I should take my shower. When I was finished and the tube was dry, Mistress locked the plate in place, careful not to pinch any stray skin.
    Mistress handed me a top she said "looks cute" on me, and a mask, and took some pictures. She said that she is going to send them to Robert. She added that I should think of these little romantic gestures on my own, like a good girl, or I might lose my man.
    Speaking of romantic gestures, she began. She opened a drawer and took out her strap-on, telling me to hand her the lube. When everything was securely in place and thoroughly lubed, she told me to lay face down on the bed. Once I did this she lay on top of me, guiding her cock inside me. She had never used this position before. She began moving her hips, thrusting into me. I was breathing deeply under her untiring pistoning. Suddenly I had an orgasm, an eye-rolling, the world stops orgasm. It was my first real anal orgasm. I let out a high pitched squeal. Mistress stopped for a second, caught off guard, then resumed, pumping until she had emptied me of sperm. "All those nasty cummies just from getting your ass fucked," Mistress said. "You are now officially a bisexual sub. After putting on a pair of gloves, Mistress unlocked the tube's access plate, and told me to take another shower. She called me a dirty girl as she handed me the access plate.
    The last photo is a feminized me courtesy of faceapp, done by Mistress. She sent these to my boyfriend Robert just a few minutes ago.
     

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  19. MissCarly
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    Mistress and I decided to revisit the definition of my being her slave, and her my Master; to start the new year with a refreshed relationship. I found a document online and tweeked it to better apply to us. The purpose is clarity, not a legal document. It is important to remember that this is a living contract, adaptable to need or whim. For anyone who is interested, here is the document we agreed upon:

    24/7 Master/slave Contract
    Section One
    I, Miss Carly, with a free mind and open heart, do request of Mistress Lilith that She accept the submission of my will unto Hers and take me into Her care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust, and mutual respect.
    The satisfaction of Her wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a slave to be found pleasing to Her. To that end, I offer Her use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that as my Master, She accept the keeping of my body for fulfillment and enhancement of O/our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. To achieve this, She may have unfettered use of my body any time, any place, and in front of anyone as She will determine.
    Master's symbol of Ownership includes myself being collared as well as any future marks or tokens She may wish to bestow. Symbols of Ownership are a visible reminder of status and will be worn with pride. They signify Master's control and the lifestyle chosen by me. The collar is to remain upon my neck at all times unless instructed otherwise by Master. If such necessity should arise the collar should only be removed by Master or with Master's approval if She is unavailable or for unforeseen emergency.
    This agreement may be reviewed and amended at any time, but will be reviewed no less than once per month on the 1st of each month together.
    Section Two: Code of Conduct
    Duties of Servitude
    -Above all, it is my duty as a slave to please.
    -Personal duties: cater to the physical/emotional needs of Master, amusement, sexual toy/plaything, physical comfort, obedience, honesty, loyalty, waiting on Master as desired.
    -Household duties: cleaning and keeping the home maintained, laundry, shopping for the home and Master, cooking and baking as instructed by Master, run errands. Any tasks assigned should be considered permanent until further notice.
    Behavior - General
    -Attitude: as a slave, I will show an attitude of respect at all times.
    -Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, kneeling to serve (whenever appropriate), proper answers, obedience, and wholehearted honesty.
    -I will address Master as either "Master", "Ma'am", " Mistress", or given name at all times using the most appropriate term for the situation.
    -Master's needs always come first.
    -I will dress as Master desires, including always doing my best to have an attractive appearance.
    -Respect and obedience are the two most valuable aspects of attitude and I will show them at all times. Failure to do so will be punished as severe offenses.
    Behavior - Specific
    Upon Arrival Home: I will immediately greet Master with a smile and hug and kiss and then kneel before Her and remove Her shoes.
    Shower: Every morning.
    Public settings: I will not argue or complain.
    -I will remain within eyesight of Master unless permission is given to do otherwise and will return promptly.
    Meals: Breakfast and Dinner- we will sit down and eat together. It is understood that life happens and it is not always possible but this will be the expected norm. At breakfast we will discuss the ToDo list and plans for the day. At dinner we will review the ToDo list and fitness/healthy eating program, with Master correcting any of my shortcomings in how I perform my day's chores. Master will advise me of any special instructions for the following day.
    Bedtime: Master will sleep in Her bedroom and I in mine. Master may allow me to join Her in Her bed, for whatever purpose, whenever and for however long or short She desires.
    -Master's Bedroom -I will kneel before Master and wait for permission to enter Her bedroom or ask for permission if necessary.
    Eating out: no more than 2 meals per week per person.
    Healthy eating: Keep track of fitness and eating habits.
    Fitness: exercise at least three times per week.
    Alcoholic beverages: Not permitted.
    Illegal drugs: Not permitted.
    Play: There is no designated playtime. Any time W/we play W/we will follow a standard protocol of kneeling, adding play collar, standing to embrace, and adopt slave positions as ordered by Master.
    Orgasm Control
    - I am to achieve orgasm ONLY with Master's permission or at Her orders
    Punishment
    -Will be given for disrespect or disobedience of any aforementioned guidelines as well as anything else Master may deem fit.
    -Will result in full and complete penance for offenses.
    -Will always fit the crime.
    -will always be executed with full understanding of crimes committed.
    Safety
    Safe words are known but as follows and to be used to notify Master of any immediate issues. "YELLOW" will indicate an approach of maximum tolerance. "RED" will indicate reaching of maximum tolerance. Master knows me well enough that She may be able to help me push through and stretch my limits by pushing past "RED" in certain circumstances. If I believe I am unable to continue "DEFCON" will indicate a complete stop of all activities.
    Section three: Other Relationships
    1. Any other relationship cannot be allowed to cause U/us to sacrifice O/our dynamic.
    2. Any other relationship cannot be allowed to cause U/us to sacrifice O/our mutual trust.
    3. If either feels a "spark", interest, or any attraction of more than friends, it needs to be shared with spouse prior to sharing with anyone else, including that person. A simple text or phone call with confirmation received will suffice unless #4.
    4. If spouse requests further discussion before moving forward, that request will be honored.
    5. If contact is instigated by "other," spouse is to be notified immediately and prior to any response being sent. Again text or phone call with confirmation received will suffice unless #4.
    6. Flirty (see A) in person conversation is acceptable without prior consent from spouse however spouse should be notified right away if this has lead to #3. If this conversation turns sexual (see B) then conversation needs to be put on hold until above can happen.
    A. Flirty conversation is defined as plutonic conversation that could be had with anybody for the purpose of gauging connection. Can include discussion of sexual activities as long as not specific to any specific person/persons. I.E. What type of things are you into?
    B. Sexual conversation is defined as fantasizing or discussing hypothetical sexual encounters with specific person/persons. I.E. I would love to take you out back and have you blow me.
    7. Master has ultimate veto power, however She agrees to use it judiciously in order to not hinder growth. I do not, however, Master recognizes that I have excellent opinions and insight and my recommendations will be heavily considered.
    8. Potential partners must be vetted twice as hard as normal. I.E. Read profiles completely, writings, pics, compare and speak to mutual friends...
    9. If potential partner is attached in any way that partner must be spoken to and notified of intentions and given approval to proceed prior to engaging. If either refuses - DEAL KILLER.
    Section Four: Master's Creed
    I offer the testimony in trust and sincerity.
    I am a dominant woman.
    I am just that.
    I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part.
    Not because I feel more intelligent or wiser.
    I am not dominant because of the strength or the suppleness of my body.
    I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all men or women.
    Yet to you, I am Master.
    I am your Master only after earning your trust.
    I embrace your submissiveness.
    I have looked into your heart and mind,
    And clearly see your desires and passions.
    You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions.
    You tell me of the needs of your heart and body.
    You have given me total access to your soul,
    and I accept that responsibility and honor.
    Your belief in me gives me courage and direction.
    Your strength disperses my doubt.
    Your needs and desires encourage
    and give purpose to my efforts.
    We are not equal.
    We are halves of a whole.
    We complement each other and make each other complete.
    I dominate you only because you have allowed me to,
    and when I see your body kneel before me
    in my mind and heart,
    you are raised above all other men
    and all the treasures of the earth.
    Within the bounds of our relationship
    it is my duty to protect you,
    and that you will know, that under my care;
    no harm will come to you
    as a result of actions taken by Me
    or you.
    This is my responsibility.5
    Section Five: Slave's Pledge
    I will do my best to serve my Master.
    To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Her and limit my growth as Her slave.
    To maintain open and honest communication.
    To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment.
    To inform Her of wants or perceived needs, recognizing that She is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied.
    To strive towards maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals.
    To work with Her to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual.
    To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims.
    My surrender as a slave is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities towards making the utmost use of my potential. In recognition of my family obligations, nothing will be required of me that will in any way damage or harm my family, nor interfere with the performance of my duties to them.
    This I, Miss Carly, do entreat with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem, devotion, and love in which it is given.
    Should either of U/us find that O/our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any reason wish to cancel, E/either may do so by verbal notification to the O/other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this contract. W/we both understand that cancellation means a cessation to the Power Exchange dynamic indicated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of the relationship as friends, lovers, and spouses. Upon cancellation, each of U/us agrees to offer the other Her or his reasons and to assess the new needs and situation openly and lovingly.
    This agreement shall serve as the basis for our relationship with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving O/our lives.
    Section Six: Signatures
    This contract is valid from this day 01-01-2022 until cancelled.
    I offer my consent as slave to Mistress Lilith under the terms stated above on this, the first day of January, in the year 2022.
    X.
    Miss Carly
    (Signature of slave)

    I offer My acceptance of slavehood by Miss Carly under the terms stated above on this, the first day of January, in the year 2022.
    X.
    Mistress Lilith
    (Signature of Master)
     
  20. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Mistress has approved my adjusting the fit of the rear straps of my belt and informed me that I will now shower with the belt on for the next 5 days, wearing it full time. She likes my solution of drying my clitty by using a hair dryer on the tube. If this works, starting next Saturday, I will be locked for 1 month straight, then unlocked for a thorough cleaning and inspection. If there are no problems requiring me to be unlocked, I will be locked for another month.
    As for the locking drainage plate, Mistress told me to try opening it myself tomorrow, but having watched me struggle with it, she said she was afraid I'd hurt myself trying. That has only made me determined to succeed.
    Today was my first day out wearing the now adjusted belt. We went to our favorite diner. Mistress made a point of letting me know that she was leaving the key at home, so I'd know that not only did I have to sit to pee, but for all intents and purposes, I was a girl today, and not a boy wearing an easily removed garment, even if the staff didn't know it. Funny, I have no problem being in chastity, but being so thoroughly cut off from my clitty has become very frustrating. I experienced this before in the belt Robert gave me about 6 months ago, but this is more intense. This one has the locking plate, so that is full coverage, it has the 2 rear cables as opposed to the single cable which rested between my cheeks and against my anus. I would have to hold the cable aside for a bm, whereas now I just sit down, with no reminder that I'm wearing the belt. My life feels less artificially changed, and more a blooming to my natural state. All of this amounts to my feeling distinctly less male, and more female. Certainly moving to somewhere between the two genders.
     
  21. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    #371 MissCarly, Jan 14, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2022
    Mistress sent me the attached photos with the note: "We're going to a party at Master Paul's house this Saturday. Your crush, Slave Adrian, is going to be there. I want my sissy in her full maid's uniform, so do any necessary ironing." It was strange somehow to see Mistress call me a sissy, not in a teasing manner, but matter of factly. The photos let me know what to expect. The initial 3 photos are obviously meant to represent Mistress and me. I assume that the photo of the bald fellow is supposed to be Master Paul, which makes it obvious what the next photos represent, as well as who will be busy "serving" the guests.
    MissCarly curtseys and humbly exits her journal.
     

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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    I am happy to report that I was able to unlock my tube's hatch for cleaning and drying, and then able to relock it without Mistress' help. The key only unlocks the hatch, not the belt, so that key remains forever out of my reach. This is a big thing as Mistress won't have to wait for to take my shower. A little independence for me, a little freedom to move about for her. When I told Mistress the news, she was so pleasantly surprised that she gave me a copy of the hatch key, to be used, she made clear, only for showers, no finger stroking the tip of my clitty. This must be what it feels like for a prisoner to be made a trustee by the warden. Amazing how a little thing can lead to a sense of accomplishment.
    P.S. I cheated on the photos a little, showing the tube locked twice, for before and sfter showering..
     

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  23. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    Please forgive me for an extra long entry, but I can think of no way to shorten this and make sense
    . Last night at Master Paul's party: Mistress dressed in a calf length burgundy dress with a plunging neckline, flared skirt, hose, and stilletto heels. I, as ordered, wore my maid's uniform. I drove, with Mistress in back. One does not sit next to the help.
    Before ringing the doorbell, Mistress told me to be on my best behavior and not to forget that for tonight I served Master Paul. I was his for the party. I said that I understood. I was glad when Mistress rang the doorbell. It was freezing cold and my stockings weren't keeping me warm. Adrian answered the door with a curtsey to Mistress and a raised chin's greeting to me. I replied with a curtsey of my own. She was her usual cool, superior self. Over her chastity belt she wore a red plaid cheerleader skirt and red high top sneakers. She was topless with her nipples enhanced with a touch of dark purple lipstick. Adrian led me to the kitchen to pick up a tray of hors d'oeuvres to carry among the guests. All were dressed in evening clothes, and seemed to be getting frisky with each other. As I did my job, hands kept finding their way up my skirt. Some retreated at the touch of steel, while others seemed fascinated and lingered. Keeping my composure, if not my dignity, I continued about my duties, serving food and drinks to the guests, and occasionally being groped by them. After a while I took a break in the kitchen and drank a ginger ale. Adrian came next to me, silent as a ninja, and told me to follow her. It was obvious this was an order from on high. Master Paul was in his bedroom, seated at a large desk, surveying the party room on a cctv feed. Zeus on Olympus. Adrian told me to get on my knees. She unzipped her Master's pants, pulled them down, and whispered to me, "get busy, cocksucker. Do your job." So I positioned myself and began. Master Paul did not acknowledge my presence. I might as well have been dusting. I was determined to give him the best blow job of his life. It was a matter of pride. Master Paul put his hands on my head, urging me to take in more of him. After a little while Master Paul suddenly jerked, held my head in place, and spurted in my mouth. He gently pushed me back, patting my cheek.
    . In the living room, Adrian called out "We have a winner." A man who I guessed was about 75, came up to her and handed Adrian a ticket. Curious, I stepped back into the room. Adrian said, "He's all yours, Mr. H. Hands and knees" This last was directed to me. I felt my skirt raised and Mr. H's naked boney legs press against my backside. His penis, encased by a lubricated condom, slid inside me, as narrow and stiff as his legs. The guests began cheering and urging him on when he began to spank me in time with his thrusts. He told me to, "Call 'em out," so, in a loud voice, I began counting out his smacks. For an older gent, Mr. H had a strong hand. Mr. H finished and pulled out of me. While still on my knees, a woman who had to be no less than 80 years old stood in front of me. She seemed to be expecting something, so I reached under her skirt and began rubbing her vagina. Contrary to the dust and cobwebs image that had crossed my mind, her pussy was wet and gripping. I did my best to give her an orgasm with my fingers. Once my unexpected mission was accomplished, I looked around the room and saw that Adrian was being spit roasted by young men of about 50 who looked like twins. Master Paul stood next to me, aware who I was watching. He commented that Adrian "is really something." I agreed, and he reached under my skirt, rubbing my cage. He said, "Too bad for you. If that tiny thing of yours wasn't locked up, you'd have had next crack at that ass." I wanted to hit him, but that isn't me. Instead I suggested that I ask her to help with getting drinks for his guests. He laughed and told me to go to it. I signaled to Adrian that she was wanted. She got back on her feet, seeming a little annoyed. The party started to wind down. Master Paul put his arm around my shoulders and told me to stay behind after everyone leaves. Thinking about Mr. H, I realized that I hadn't been just circulating to serve food and drink, but was also merchandise being exhibited as a raffle ticket door prize. The winner got to fuck me in the ass.
    When the guests had gone home, it was just Mistress, Master Paul, Adrian, and me. Master Paul told the others that I had taken pity on Adrian and, like a knight of old, rescued her from the terrible dragons who were violating her maidenly purity. Something sarcastic like that. Adrian blushed bright red. She was not pleased. Master Paul led us into the playroom. Once there, Mistress ordered me to strip. Mistress soon had my wrists in leather cuffs, hooked them to chains and pulled them over my head. She asked Adrian if she was a damsel in distress? Adrian said, no." Did she want to disobey her Master? Again, "no." Did Miss Carly humiliate Adrìan by her interferance? "Yes." You get the idea. Mistress asked her if Miss Carly should be punished? Another "Yes." So Mistress handed her a long paddle, with circular holes in it, telling her that it was only fair that she be allowed to teach me a lesson. Adrian walked up to me and slowly ran the paddle over my backside. She held the paddle to my lips and told me that I had brought this on myself. She told me to kiss the paddle, which I did, getting nervous. Adrian stepped back and took her time planning her first swing. Satisfied with the way I jerked, theway I grunted, she started using the paddle on my backside, each blow deliberate, with anger behind it. It didn't take long for me to start begging for her to stop, for mercy. Yes, I'm a wimp, a sissy. I was wasting my breath. Each blow was worse than the last. Finally it was over. It didn't take long, although it felt like an etrnity. Again Adrian held the paddle to my lips. Exhausted, I kissed it. She told me, "I forgive you." This was a house that embraced it's rituals. Master Paul let me down, unshackled me, and told me he regretted how the evening ended. Mistress apologized for my "rude behavior."
    Soon I was wearing my uniform again, taking slow steps, my entire body sore.
    Back home, Mistress applied cooling salve to my ass and let me sleep next to her. Today I'm still sore. Parties have lost their appeal to me.
    It took me a while but something struck me today about the party.
    I had a feeling that I had stepped into a power struggle at the party.
    By accepting my punishment, I showed respect to both Master Paul and to Mistress. Being a slave, in the eyes of Master Paul and Mistress, Adrian was almost inconsequential.
    I mentioned my misgivings to Mistress, who told me that Master Paul was afraid of becoming subserviant to her, because Mistress had immediately known that he was at a masochist Having me punished in his home for a breach of ettiquitte asserted his dominance, or at least his equality to Mistress. I had unknowingly become his tool. Hearing that hurt more than the paddling, which certainly did hurt.
    Miss Carly curtseys and humbly exits her journal.
     
  24. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Obey without question.

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    This morning Mistress decided that I should give the tube a thorough washing. So off came the belt and Mistress started laughing. She had me lay down and took a picture of my clitty. She said it looked like a slug on a leaf, curled up to die. Either way, not flattering. I'm glad I could amuse her. Per Mistress' ìnstruction, that photo is attached for your amusement.
    Later we took a walk to do a little shopping. Mistress insisted on putting on a little makeup and lipstick on me. I felt surprisingly comfortable as Mistress worked on my face. She remarked that a bra might be in my future. Mistress had me wear a midlength skirt, long sleeve tee shirt, and boots. A hoodie to hide my lack of hair completed my outfit. A warm jacket was a necessity. One of the clerks stopped stocking shelves to ask if he could help, "you ladies." Mistress nudged me, and with what I hoped was close to a feminine voice, said, "No thank you." I received no curious looks, which probably says more about his good manners than my femininity. I did my best to be a demure woman, aware I had a long way to go. I guess people generally see what they expect to see. I took comfort that the belt was back on, and my clitty locked away from notice. One thing I noticed was that the belt gives me a flat front, my balls mostly unnoticable unless I'm wearing light weight trousers.

    Just a thought on wearing the full belt. After taking a shower, water has made the inside of the liner damp. The only solution is to then take the liner off (which means the belt has to come off) and thoroughly dry liner, waist belt, and of course, my body. If you're going to have to do this, it makes more sense to remove the belt for your shower, keeping things nice and dry. I was disappointed to come to this conclusion, but Mistress pointed out that it makes more sense to remove the belt before showering, because there will be less time I'll be unlocked. My ideal solution would be a stainless steel belt with no sharp edges to bite into me, meaning the liner would be unnecessary. If possible, the price would probably be astronomical. Ah well, I can dream.
     

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