My changing body

Thanks, I usually drink my coffee black so no problem there, it’s the overwhelming huge portions of food I consume in one sitting lol! I just have to stop eating like I did when I was twenty and could eat how and what I liked.

Another tough part is cooking for a family when your not eating it...like no pasta or potatoes etc.

 

Thanks, I’m 5’10” and really I don’t think I’m all together that overweight, in fact when wearing normal clothes I’m doing ok in the looks department.

It’s just that my fat seems to be lumping up in new places lol. Butt, thighs, and hips. Starting to get a pear shape. I am going to take your advice and go slowly. Starting with smaller meals, more often, and not eating till I’m stuffed. Then work on walking. I was in shape last year when I was exercising and walking at work a lot.

 

Well its been about 3 months since I last updated this thread. Thought I would take the time to do so now that im laid up for a few days with a sore back.

I went on that diet, and it is slowly working, not quite fast enough for my taste, but hey everyone wants to lose it all in zero time. Lost nearly 20 pounds, with at least 20-30 to go. I had thought with the loss of weight, breast tissue would be the first to go. That isn't happening, in fact they look more pronounced than ever. They had stopped tingling and sore awhile back, but again, it has started again. Every time they feel like this I have grown a cup size. Last time I used girlfriends C cup to measure and although was a bit roomy, certainly wasn't too big. So if I estimate the same growth spurt, will fill a C cup at the end of the growing.

C cup. That's not wearing a baggy t-shirt, that's needing something to bind them. I did that in jr. high when I went through puberty but hadn't needed to since I kinda grew into them. Again they will be too front in center to just leave be. That's not including my nipples which are fairly large, maybe a sportsbra or ace bandage wrapped around. It looks like being shirtless in the summer time is over, I cant imagine being bare chested when they get bigger.

Some other developments I have just noticed is my lack of erections. I have just taken off my device for the first time in 15 days due to a few sores, and I would have thought that I would have gotten instantly hard. I haven't. In fact I haven't gotten hard yet, or wake up with an erection (I remembered to look). I even watched a little porn to see if that did it. It didn't. I am certain that if I touched it, it would come to attention, but that certainly isn't the way I used to be. My face seems to have changed slightly as well. Not so much that I notice, but pictures now don't look like pictures of a year ago, and have people that I rarely see tell me I look different. My skin feels softer too.

With all the recent changes I have developed a more gender fluid wardrobe. It fits fine and to tell the truth it has been a bit liberating. I have been forcing the feminine part of me away for so long, it is nice to just wear clothes that I feel comfortable in and actually fit my shape. I was just thinking how funny it would be if I ended up having the figure for a bikini, would I ever wear it out in public. Probably not...the cage would show lol.

Anyway, a lot of changes coming again it looks like, it goes in spurts like that. My last check up with the specialist I inquired about a medication that would eliminate estrogen. He did say that I was at an age where my liver could take it, and said I could take it. It would have some side effects...worst one being a loss of libido and erections. They make a pill for boners but not the sex drive. So have decided to keep the same route I started earlier and let will be...be.

I have talked to @Mistress Amanté about this awhile ago, and she said she loves me no matter what. But it doesn't mean I am fearless of the future. She is not attracted to females, and I am becoming more and more feminine. What happens when she realizes I have a set of boobs when we are making love and it grosses her out? What if she can hardly recognize the feminine face that is looking at her? What if my erections are few and far between and need pills to achieve them? Saying sex isn't important, I love you no matter what, and looks aren't important, are easier to say when you aren't looking at someone that looks like the same gender as you. I guess that is one of the reasons I left cuckolding on the table. I would rather her getting physical needs met as a team where I was included beats her feeling resentful or missing out. It would be a way where she could get sexual satisfaction and I could be her partner in crime, a sexual game I could be apart of, even if my participation was limited physically. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Until something new happens, Later

 

Nothing happening lately, boobs aren’t getting any bigger and I haven’t noticed the overall shape changing too much anymore. I have come to somewhat of a decision about my appearance though.

I have noticed I am much happier when I’m dressed in more feminine attire, and groom in a feminine manner. I don’t know why, but I am. So I am going to let some of my hang ups about it go, and not worry about it or what people may think.

So I have bought a laser hair removal zapper and have had 3 sessions on legs, torso, bikini, underarms and chest areas. Nothing really looks that different, but I can tell it’s working as the hair isn’t coming in as fast and seems to be spread out. So within a few more months I will be hair free for the most part. This shouldn’t really be an issue except for when I’m wearing shorts or have my shirt off this summer. I have come to the conclusion...I don’t care. I feel better without it, and I don’t need another reason.

Growing my hair out is another thing that makes me feel better and to hell with em.

Weight loss has been good but slow. It seems I hit this certain weight and I get stuck there. I lost 30 pounds but would like better to lose another 30 and I’m stuck at 195. Was trying to go Atkins so it would be easier, but am thinking I need to just start eating less calories. Start on a 1500 calorie a day regimen, eventually I should start to lose weight again.

Hoping the next time I update this, I will be down to 165!!

 

Well this isn’t about a natural change but it’s something that is making me feel better about myself. That laser hair removal gun seems to be working and it’s like night and day.

I have no idea why but I’ve always had an aversion to my body hair. I would be disgusted with myself when I looked down and either saw hair or stubble. For the first time ever, some of it has remained smooth. By no means am I hair free, but a week after zapping and I’m still relatively hair free, and there are parts that there is no stubble or shadow. Chest, legs, pubic area, everything...almost gone, I feel like a new person.

Summer might be a little awkward, but since I have worn work boots so long, no hair grew all the way to the middle of my shin anyway.

So feeling great about how it’s going and the results.

 

Neither doctor used the term burned out but resistant was in fact used, as well as insensitive. I have since went back and asked him about drugs available that would block the excess estrogen and indeed there are. The specialist said that it wasn’t recommended because your body needs one or the other, blocking one and being insensitive to the other could be unhealthy. It would also put a lifelong strain on my liver. If it was really life altering he would prescribe it to me.

I have come to terms with it, and in a way glad. Yes I’m nervous about the future sometimes but it is very liberating to just be. Even if it doesn’t conform to what’s normal. Been embracing my feminine side more and more lately, and mentally I am ready for whatever physical changes happen. Who knows it may be for the best, I am smiling a lot more!

 

Some subtle and some not so subtle changes lately.

I hadn’t noticed it because I was caged most of the time except for when she was playing with it, but I have noticed that erections without physical stimulation are not happening. Was unlocked for a few days and nothing. Not at night, not during the day, and not in the morning. It still works, as soon as she started to touch it, I got hard, but not once without her.

My chest has also started growing a bit. I can’t see anything different at the moment but they hurt like crazy if I bump them.

Some of it might be in my head(erections) but I’m not imagining the firmness or the pain when my arms bump them in the shower when washing my hair.

I was taking a break from my diet, it seemed like I hit a wall and couldn’t lose anymore. Will redouble my efforts, this might give me the motivation I need.

 

Only thing new to update is that my chest is still slowly growing. It is less noticeable to others cause I’m also off my diet and getting kinda chubby everywhere else too. I can still feel that it’s growing though. My nipples itch all the time, super sensitive, and I notice I bump them now when I wash my hair or reach across my body. Plus sleeping on my stomach makes them hurt. It’s not a sharp pain, more like I’m laying on tennis balls...super weird. It’s not the first time, it’s happened in school, and at various times as I got older, but never this long.

So back on my diet again, and will see what I look like once I lose 20-30 pounds.