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M's journey

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by m2s, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. I suppose I'll start with a bit of back story; just to get it all out there. My wife and I have been married for a little over six years, and we've both recently crossed into our 30s. I've had an interest in bondage and bdsm dating back into my late teens, and I broached it with my wife back when we were still dating. She was intrigued, and divulged that she had a submissive streak as well. So we incorporated bdsm play into our relationship throughout our engagement and the early years of our marriage. While we initially switched with each other, things have settled into a routine where I usually top and my wife submits. She has confessed that she doesn't feel that she could actually do something harder, something that might hurt me (even if I ask) when she tops. The only dominant activity she continues in with any regularity is use of a strap-on.

    While I do enjoy domming my wife, I enjoy subbing a little more. Knowing that my wife is more of a sub at heart, I started looking into passive ways that I could submit to her. I'm keen on the idea of hidden humiliations, and often wear women's thongs while out and about. I'm sure it's the "hidden" aspect that intrigues me about chastity as well. About a year ago, I first told my wife of my interest. She was unsure, but agreed to read Fairbourne's Male Chastity book for more information. After reading it, she was still a little hesitant. Mostly, as she told me, because she didn't want to be in a situation where she had to explain it to somebody else. If I was in an accident, and taken to the hospital, she wouldn't be comfortable discussing it with the doctor. I certainly understand that, and wouldn't want to put her in a potentially embarrassing situation. After this talk, I let the chastity idea drop for several months. At the end of last year, I asked her if she had given it any further thought, and she said she still had the same concerns.

    A few weeks ago, I found a $20 CB-6000 knock-off on a Chinese website. Knowing that my wife would be out of town for a week, this seemed a good, cheap way to try out chastity, and see if it was really for me. The day it arrived, I tried and tried, but wasn't able to get it on. I am fairly well-endowed, and couldn't lube up enough to fit in the tube. Fortunately, I had a much easier time the next day. It took a little bit of doing, but I was able to get it on with the largest ring/spacer. I left it on all day as I went around town shopping and running errands, and experienced no discomfort or problems. Over the course of the last week, I've worn it several days. I've found that while wearing boxers, it protrudes enough to seem "bulgy", but when wearing a thong, it tucks back nicely, and isn't noticeable. The only problem I've encountered is sleeping. The first night, I slept through with no problems. However, the two nights since, I've woken up midway through the night with a sharp pain in my scrotum. I'm assuming it's a nocturnal erection, pulling the cage away from my body and tugging on the scrotum. After taking the cage off, I have no problem falling back to sleep.

    My wife returns tomorrow, so the next question is how/when do I broach this with her? I know some folks on here practice "secret chastity", but that doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm not sure if I should introduce it to her while I'm wearing it or not. I certainly don't want to force the keyholding issue, so maybe I should couch it as something we can just try in the bedroom? I'll be chewing this over, but am certainly open to hear any of your thoughts as well.
  2. In your situation, I'd start with "something you can just try in the bedroom for fun" and see how it goes from there.

    I think most folks here would advise the softly softly route.
  3. Well, I was all set to introduce the CB-6000 to my wife tonight. I'd worn it all day, was going to propose sex this evening, and use that as the intro. However, my wife's period started a day early, so that put the kibosh on things. If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to bring up new sexual subjects/propositions during that time of the month! So, I guess I'll try it again in a week or so. Will update further at that time.
  4. Yesterday, I put my chastity cage on after finishing my morning shower. I wore it all day, and revealed it to my wife before some playtime last night. I showed it to her and explained that it was an inexpensive way to try things out, and see how it went. Acknowledging that's she's not completely comfortable with long-term lockup, I mentioned that we could just keep it in the bedroom, eliminating the opportunity for any embarrassing revelations. She agreed to that point. I took off the cage, and we proceeded to have a great sexual bout. It was more intense than our usual interactions, and my wife even commented that it "felt very different than usual." I can only imagine that trying to mentally process the chastity idea was a part of that. There was no follow-up discussion about chastity, or the cage, afterward, mostly because we were both quite tired.

    The heightened experience may help to push her towards more experiences locking me up, even if it is just for tease sessions. That may not sound like much, but it's a lot further than we were in the past. I think I'll wait for her to bring the subject up again. We'll see what happens, and I'll update when there's news.
  5. Good luck!!!! It's always hard to bring up the subject of chastity to your significant other. I know when I first brought it up to my girlfriend, she was very confused and afraid that she might be hurting my penis in some way by locking it up. After playing around with it and showing her it was safe for extended wear, she eventually warmed up to it. She still doesn't completely understand even after about 8 months of play, but she has started to increase my lock up time. I'm now locked up for an entire month, something I never thought she would go for or i would be able to do. I'm about a week in and I'm horny as hell, my girlfriend loves it. I will do just about anything she asks me too. LOL
  6. I hadn't worn my cb-6k much, or brought it up around the wife until the tail end of last year. My birthday is right before Christmas, and as a little present, the wife usually indulges me with a night or two of whatever bedroom fun I want. I tried to set her in a position to be a bit more dominant, administering canings, zippers, strap-on fucking, and some other things that aren't as prevalent in our sex life as they used to be. I wore my chastity cage throughout, and took it off at the end just before we had sex.

    A few weeks back, I had a pretty good idea that the weekend would end with some bedroom shenanigans, so I locked myself in on Friday morning. On Sunday morning, the wife discovered it, and Monday night it came off for some more fun.

    Our anniversary was a few days ago, and on Saturday night, while taking a little break, we were talking about what sorts of bedroom fun we wanted to have to celebrate. I told her that when we finished, I wanted her to lock my chastity cage on me and hold on to the key. She asked if I was really sure, and when I affirmed that I was, she agreed! When we finished, I was curious if she would bring it up, and I was absolutely beat, so I stayed quiet and drifted off to sleep. Sunday morning, I locked my cage on, and handed her the key before running out to the grocery store. She didn't say anything about it until this Monday, when she said "Oh, I threw the key in the river". I replied that it was good there was a spare. She then told me it was on her keychain and that she would've let me out for my morning shower if I'd wanted. She also hinted at letting me out for some fun tomorrow night.

    So there it is. I'm locked up, and my wife's holding the key. I can get myself out if I want to, and I'm fine with that. I knew it wouldn't be a "hidden-key, you'll get out when I say you'll get out" type situation; I'm just elated it is where it is. I'm interested to see what happens tomorrow night, if she locks me back up when we're done or not. I'm guessing that she'll let me decide when I want to wear it, but we'll see...
    richard likes this.
  7. As I expected, after our fun on Tuesday night, my wife did not lock me back up. She did ask some more questions about chastity; how it felt, and how belng locked up might impact my orgasmic output. The questions are kind of nice, as it seems she might be warming more to the concept. She still gives me the key to unlock myself, rather than doing it herself, so I'm sure there's still some apprehension. I'll probably lock myself up again in the morning, and we'll see when she lets me out next!
  8. Long time, no update! My apologies. I still lock myself up periodically, but not much continued interest from the wife. Sometimes she'll comment or joke about it, but not much else. We also have a young child, so the possibility of those running surprise hugs (parents you know what I'm talking about) means I don't wear it all that often any more. My CB-6K knockoff had separated/cracked down the middle, but even after a krazy glue repair, it separated again. A few weeks back, one of the guide pins broke off as well. For $30, it lasted a lot longer than I expected.

    To replace it, I ordered the Bird Cage from Extreme Restraints, and it arrived today. Got it on quite easily, and it feels much more secure. No more worries about cracking the cage, that's for sure! I'm currently working cross-country from my family, so I'm going to wear the BC as long as I can, until I see them again (about a month). I know it doesn't sound like long, but if I can keep it on until then, it'll definitely be my record. So far it seems like it'll be easier to keep clean, which is a big plus. It also looks like it'll be a little bulkier under clothes, but hopefully not too visible. Will hopefully have more to update with later!
  9. Hi m2s. Sounds like we're in very similar circumstances. My loving wife does not really get my desire to go beyond a bit of bedroom fun and I too am currently controlling my lock-ups on journeys from home. I'm currently on day nine away and this is the longest to date and beginning to get more difficult...if not exciting. I've found a lot of help and support from cm but want to go to the next level too. Toying with idea of a keyholder/mistress when away but am a bit a bit wary of how that could work.
    Hang on in there and good luck as you "steel yourself up!" I will be watching and supporting. In meantime I'm looking forward to a "quiet" weekend on my own ... Dressed up and with a few toys ! :).
  10. Thanks Jane. Best of luck to you as well.
  11. Well, I was able to stay locked up until the end of March, which was quite the feat for me. And now I'm away from my wife again, this time until the end of May. With my wife's birthday coming up in a few days, I'm planning to stay locked from her birthday, until I see her again, which will be another one month period. In the past, she hasn't always wanted to keep me locked up for long periods of time, because she enjoys penetration. So, I ordered her a hitachi magic wand and some attachments, in hopes that it might sway her more towards keeping me regularly locked. The humiliation involved with her not needing me would be pretty intense. Time will tell.
  12. Since my last update, much has changed! No full time chastity (yet), but my wife had shown increased interest in teasing my while I'm locked, even keyholding for a full month leading up to my birthday! She had previously shown concern that some unexpected issue might lead to exposure of my chastity, and wasn't too fond on taking it out of the bedroom. Last weekend, while she was out of town, I snapped her that I was excited for her return and the potential of being unlocked. She didn't reply, but took my keys upon her return. After a few days, she sent me a WheelDecide screenshot that had options of yes, no, and yes but. The last one means I get to orgasm, but coupled with something unpleasant. It was pointing at no, by the way. She says she'll spin it whenever she feels like it, as she should. It may not sound like much, but this feels like the most potential for a long term lockup that I've experienced, and I'm anxiously looking forward to where it goes.
    traveler, manintyres and Jasmic68 like this.
  13. You seem to be enjoying your new chastity experience. My question is what does she have to gain from you being locked up. When was the last time you gave your wife an earth shaking orgasm. If she gets to receive more pleasure than she has ever experienced before through orgasms, foot massages or you just doing more of the house work she will be more willing to try locking you up. Show her how chastity will benefit her and it will go much smoother. That's how I got my wife to except having me in chastity 24/7 for the last 2.5 years. Good Luck
    manintyres likes this.
  14. Thanks. Part of the rub has always been that she enjoys my penis. We've tried a strap on, but she doesn't like it as much. I don't want to deprive her of what she needs, but do want to show her how it can benefit her. That's the fine line now. Show increased attention, and be giving, but don't be seen as needy or pushy.

    She was open to me making requests of the WheelDecide spinner. I asked for an option where I'd stay in the cage but watch/assist her in having an orgasm, and another where I'd be let out of the cage, teased, but ultimately locked back up without orgasm. We'll see when the next spin happens!
    Mash2214 likes this.
  15. She can still enjoy your penis. She can just tell you not to cum or you'll be punished or use a numbing cream or max strength orajel and a condum or two so she can have as much sex as she wants with no orgasam for you.
    manintyres likes this.
  16. Yesterday, my wife hinted that she might be spinning the wheel again. Sure enough, just before bedtime she did; and just like the last time, it was a no. My reward (consolation prize?) was a passionate kiss, and the look in her eyes told me that she's enjoying my predicament. I said something about checking the distribution of 'yes' and 'no' fields, to which she quickly replied 'that's not up to you'. It's also worth noting that she has yet to show me the actual spin, just the final result. So far, so good...
    spider203 likes this.
  17. @m2s@m2s ooh i like your avatar its pretty and sparkly. :)
  18. After a couple more nights of 'no' spins, I surreptitiously caught a glance of the wife spinning the wheel last night. And it came up as 'yes, but'! She looked at it for a second and spun again, but this time it was a 'no'. She switched browser tabs and a few minutes later she showed me the bad news. She is absolutely enjoying this, lots of snuggling, reminding me the wheel was my idea, etc. Her period will start in a few days, and April Fool's is right around the corner as well. I predict zero to no orgasms in my immediate future.
    traveler likes this.
  19. lol very conniving!! You didn't let on that you saw her "cheating" did you? Best to let that one slide until you really need it!! Sounds like a fun game.. Reminds me, we have one of those sex game spinners that I should modify or better yet suggest she modify and see if she is interested.

    Fun story buddy!
  20. Nooooo, not going to let on about that. I'd previously told her that I noticed I never got to see the spins, and she said something about that just being how it was. Wheeldecide.com is what we're using; it can be whatever you make it!
  21. Wow! You've made great progress, great for you both!
  22. As expected, 'that time of the month' has put a momentarily halt to wheel spins. I'm only two weeks in (longest 24/7 ever was five weeks), but with all my wife's interest, and the uncertainty of a release date, this has felt like my longest lockup. I'm staying positive and keeping on the dishes and laundry; there's not much more I can do for the next few days. This morning I was at my daughter's swim lesson, and a mother sitting on the bleachers in front of me had her v-string poking out from the top of her jeans for the length of the entire class. Talk about an hour of unexpected teasing!
  23. It's been 27 days and still I wait. Periodic teasing, and mentions of letting me out, but I think my wife has finally seen that I can be caged for significant periods of time. Previously she would offer to let me out to shower, or if I had something important going on. Now, it seems like less of a concern for her. Hooray? Hooray.
  24. Made it to the 30 day mark (equaling my duration record) and the wife decided to let me out. She handed me the keys after dinner, ordered me to take my cage off, and said she wasn't going to spin because the wheel didn't like me. After the usual evening routine, I was treated to a significant amount of teasing, and was threatened with not being allowed to cum after all. Ultimately things finished with me fucking her for an unsatisfyingly short time. First time out is always the quickest, right? I asked when I was to be locked up again and she said she hadn't picked a date yet. We're going to see her family next weekend, so I'm sure I'm free until then. Perhaps May will see a 30 day repeat? Or maybe I'll set a new lock-up record? Time will tell...
  25. Over the last few years, our chastity dalliances have always been just that, dalliances. But I think we've finally reached the comfort level where they will lengthen. I'd been talking about new ways of determining lockup times with my wife. We talked about how the previously-mentioned method of wheel decide spinning was fun, but required more work from her. I brought up the idea of dealing cards. She thought I said a 'card' and was surprised when I said, 'no, a full five card hand.' On a previous lockup, she had mentioned she thought a month was too long, but now seemed more open to the longer period that a hand might deal. A couple weeks back we were at a game shop where I spotted a 60-sided die (Amazon also carries a 120-sided die for you real sadists). I mentioned that could be another fun way to determine lockups, and she said to buy it.

    A couple days later, I locked up in the morning, and gave her the keys and the die. An hour or two later, she sent me a video of her rolling a 22. I immediately set a countdown timer on my phone, and sent her back a screenshot, which she confirmed was the right time. It can be a little hard to pick out the numbers on that large of a die. She also mentioned (threatened?) that she was practicing to figure out how to roll specific numbers, and rolled a 60 on her first go. Since then, it's been two weeks without much in the way of teasing. Based on previous experience, I need to remember to not be pushy in that regard. This is about her and not me. She did agree to receive a list of teases that I would enjoy: verbal teasing, wearing the key in the bedroom, things like that. This lockup also overlaps with an out-of-state business trip of mine. She gave me the keys in case I need them, but agreed to my suggestion of putting them in a tamper-evident envelope. In the past, she would've insisted that I unlock, but I think she's realized that it's less of a 'problem' than she initially thought.

    After previous unlockings, we've had our fun, fallen asleep in each others arms, and that's been that. This time, I'm going to ask to be locked back up immediately after. It would be nice to finish Locktober, and maybe even plow through November. I still haven't topped about 35 days of continuous lockup. I was also kicking around a resolution for 2018 to be locked more than I'm unlocked. Seems easy, right?