My Lady is enjoying her position as Head of Household, and has relished having me as her submissive butler and servant. Each day, her authority in our house grows and she ratchets up her control. Now, she has directed me to obtain answers to a question: What do women who run their households as a FLR arrangement value the most about it? We are both new to this level of commitment and practice, and want to benefit from others' experience. I get the impression that most of the people who post on CM are male, so if you are the 'led' part of your relationship and know how your Female Leader would respond to this question, please feel invited to respond as well. Ultimately my Lady will most value women's responses, nothing personal , She wants to be sure she's not overlooking anything.
Just asked my wife and she said "Control". She said it is sometimes outside of her comfort zone, but the part she has the most fun with.
It's the uncontested decision-making, the immediate obedience and the very loving yet deferential respect I get--which are all basic requirements for me.
She says- Control- there are no more disagreements. I am more docile. Her word is final. Adoration- worship, attentiveness, except when I am bothersome. I am more thoughtful. Servitude- Footrubs, massage, laundry, dishes etc. All of these are done by me nude except for my chastity device Ownership- of my penis, knowing I am under her control no matter where I am. Sex is when she wants and how she wants. I love to give her multiple orgasms when she allows it, without asking anything in return.
My Queen has no feelings for me at all. For her caging me , Whipping me, and having an errand boy is a power thing . She loves to humiliate me in public, but not in front of her friends. I often ask her what she likes best and every time she says it's the power she has over me . My avatar will show marks she left me with from the cable to TV cord. This is one session her taking great pleasure watching me yelp ,beg and jump around. After striping me and having me crawl to her and kiss her feet , she has me kneel like a dog and gets the cable, She delights in full force right off the bat. I can usually take the first 2 lashes before jumping up on my knees and begging for no more , this is what my Queen lives for , she immediately orders me back to the stool , which I respond to instantly only to get another lash and told to get back in position. The fact that she knows I'm in extreme pain and still doing as she orders me ,and yet have not the will to disobey her is what she finds the most pleaure in . I am excited and aroused thinking of the whipping to come , and thankfull after it is over ,burt during the whipping I'd do anything to have it over with ( rxcept disobey my Queen) . When it is finally over I'm like a new person , clean mentally and so dedicated to her wishes. Stangely neither of us have any love or feelings for each other . We don't have any physical contact except for when I get punched or am kissing her feet . We both acknowledge this and it's what we want .
Thanks to all who have responded. This is just the sort of thing my Lady had in mind. She's happy that the course she has pursued for us so far seems to be on target. For me, I imagine I will be getting some updated instructions and expectations once she's had a chance to digest what people have shared.
Kitten loves that the affection we had when we first met and were newlyweds has returned. She also likes that she no longer does housework of laundry.
Again, thanks for the responses. My Lady jotted down a list plus some notes for me to compose and print out and post in my office, copy to her. What my Lady zeroed in on (from RexVa and Changeable): Uncontested decision-making - Any backtalk or undercutting of her authority will be punished. Immediate obedience - Any backtalk or undercutting of her authority will be punished. Loving yet deferential respect - An expected part of our relationship. Control- there are no more disagreements. Her word is final - With her permission I may offer input, but she will have the final say. Adoration- worship, attentiveness - I am expected to think of her needs before she needs to bring them up to me. Servitude- Footrubs, massage, laundry, dishes. My Lady has many things to add under 'other duties as assigned', which she may do at any time. Ownership of my penis - absolutely, completely hers, to be used as she wishes. My own wishes or urges regarding her penis are henceforth irrelevant. If she notes any failure or shortcoming regarding the above expectations, I am to go note the details on a clipboard that she will leave on my 'punishment chair' in the basement. I have given her the list and posted it, and she has thus far sent me to the basement twice to enter infractions on the clipboard. How and when I will receive punishment I have yet to find out, but I'm fairly certain some time in my chair will be at least part of it.
Since you've adopted these principles we offered, we'll now be expecting updates of your daily performance delivering them--or details of that punishment you say will be meted out otherwise...
RexVa, Found out last night about the punishment. I spent the evening in my punishment chair while my Lady watched her shows. My infractions were on a whiteboard in front of me 1) Mentioning the time I have been locked up (she owns my penis, none of my business how long it might be 'put away'); 2) Failure to immediately obey. She told me that she wanted to hear what I will do to not repeat these infractions as a condition for being released. As a test, she gave an order immediately after unlocking the cuffs, which I acted upon promptly. It's unlikely I'll be able to do daily reports, but it appears the punishment will be 'chair time' while staring at my shortcomings on the whiteboard. She decided that I'm to write things directly on the board vs. on the clipboard. Being in the chair is hard, because it's uncomfortable and because I'm not able to be with her.
So my Mistress is first and foremost about power over me. Secondly is about control by taking options away from me and thirdly, she likes to humiliate me mostly 1 on 1 but is not averse to bringing in a close friend to share in my humiliation. A good example occured recently and is about to occur again in a couple of weeks. My Mistress and a friend like to go to a holiday cottage for a long week end on the coast. A couple of months ago she asked me to drive her and her friend to the cottage ( near the coast) - they where there for 5 days - I was to drop them off, have a few hours "play" and leave. Using her power over me ( let's just say pictures d me in unflattering positions) she had me strip, put on some ball shackles ,chains and attend her and her friends needs in the kitchen/lounge. This involved serving drinks / light bites. When my duties were finished she simply chained me securely to another chair , put on some eye shades and a pair of her panties over my head. The two ladies just talked to each other as though I wasn't there . After about an hour of this "humiliation" Mistress asked her friend to ask me how I ended up in this predicament - without going into the details I told Mistress friend that we'd played some domme/sub games in the past , and that Mistress had decided to up the ante by photoing me ,in a position of weakness - subsequently over the coming two years , shed got a whole more data on me, and I was her compliant plaything . Asif to prove her power, Mistress promptly took 3 or 4 more photos , albeit with knickers on my head and told me to pick them up in 5 days time and return them home. Needless to say I did what she said - I drove home in cock ball shackle ,took a picture when I got home and was allowed release about 12 hours after it was first locked on In three weeks time, Mistress has "requested " my pleasure at a similar holiday cottage but wants me to spend the evening with her and her friend - I've no option but to go and it will be a very long frustrating night. Only telling thus because it's a real life event of power exchange and control.
Took the words right out of my wife’s mouth. Her and i both love the rekindled romance that chastity and flr has brought to our relationship. She also loves that she doesnt need to worry about the household chores. She is busy enough taxiing the kids around during the day, and working her part time job at night. With me doing all the chores, it gives her a window, be it a small one, to relax.
My wife says control because she likes to make me suffer in lust and I do things for her very quickly.
My wife has a face that looks like a bitch and gold-diggers but in fact she is not, she didn't even know about FLR until I told her, I know she is now doing all this for me but I feel so good having a bitch-looking wife treating me like this, of course I wish she'll love this