Mood swings of Sub

The heavy mood swings are not due to the chastity cage. It is clearly due to the orgasms you allow him to have. As could be read from various threads at this forum, I am also not kept in locked chastity by my love permanently. However, mentally I am chasted since the beginning of this year.

My mental changes are big, since she controls my orgasms fully. Rarely she gives me a full release. After she learned about ruining my orgasms, this change of behaviour after orgasm did not occur. So, permanent chastity is not about locking up and using the cage all the time. For me it is dominantly about the mental conditioning that orgasms are fully controlled by my love and that my need to serve her become bigger every day.

Goodluck!

 

I have to agree, it’s less the chastity but more orgasm control. I find my mindset changes after orgasm, it’s not an intentional change but it is there all the same. I have found orgasm denial, milking and even ruined orgasms seem to not have the same mindset change.
Not sure why the ruined orgasm works too, I found that out by accident. Though there is another level of frustration for me with ruined orgasms lol.

 

My love ruines or denails my orgasms almost always. Full releases are very rarely. The last one was 7 weeks ago and since I am chasted (feb 2019), I can only remember max. 3 or 4 full releases. With me, ruining does absolutely not result in that changed behaviour. However, I agree to @CuriousJay that there is another level of frustration.

After my last full release, my love discovered this big change of behaviour and also I was "seeking" for another week to get my feelings back on track. Honestly, we both did not enjoy it.

To understand the "mental part of the game", I must say that the books of Georgia Ivy Green "A keyholders handbook" and "How to setup an FLR" helped me a lot to understand the mental part and importance of all this. You may get this books from the www (there are free downloads).

 

We all have mood swings they are impossible to avoid. I do my best not to outwardly project them on my queen, and navigate through them respectfully. It’s not always easy but it is worth it.

 

Not sure if this is how you do it now, but would allowing him orgasms only if he goes back in the cage right after help any? I know it seems difficult to think about full time chastity, but if you really want to shape him into the kind of partner you want (without the aggressive flaws), then it might be worth it. Good luck.

 

This is something me and my Owner had to overcome together, when I had an orgasm after a period of denial I would become more aggressive and fight against my owners control and we both found it unpleasant and arduous.
That was when my Owner made the decision to go for long term mental chastity, they prefer to keep me accessible to play with but did not want the mood swings from a climax so I am forbidden to touch or have an orgasm, its now been close to 2 years now without an orgasm and my moods have been very stable and brought out a deep and abiding submissiveness that I never expected.
My owner does from time to time lock me in a cage though that is usually when we are going out somewhere and they can torment me.

 

It is definitely the orgasms that is changing his mood . The flustration builds after a orgasm and my Goddess has learned to tease me or please her orally until I am dripping like crazy when I start to get flustered . I am now on a 30 day lock up and the flustration goes away and his mood will get better and he will become more affectionate . Try a longer lock up on him maybe.

 

After a full orgasm, it can take me almost a week to get back on an even keel. I have learned to compensate for the mood changes, but it is difficult. I now wonder what I must have been like when orgasms were unrestricted.

 

how about you tell him if he's going to be aggro then he won't be unlocked?

train him

 

He should just grow up really.

 

@Lyriseitia, this is classic behavior, well-chronicled, and it's mostly hormonal (some of it is attitudinal and needs to be trained out of him) Do some reading on the role of hormones in male orgasm, especially oxytocin (what he's building up before o), dopamine (what the o provides), and prolactin (what's released during/after). Prolactin isn't good for our loving moods. It takes most of us 3-5 days to get back to the good hormone balance after a full o. Some theorize that prolactin also plays a role with compulsive masturbators, trying to get back the dopamine and (temporarily) block out the prolactin.

If you think of prolactin as causing a "vacation" from the desired submissive behavior, you can calculate how often you might permit him an o. If, for example, he's a 4-day guy, 4 days times 7 orgasms per year = 28 days of vacation. You'll have to decide how much you'll tolerate.

 

I agree it’s all hormonal, but if we recognize our poor behavior during this time we can make great strides in keeping it in check. It takes some work and personal accountability but we can certainly lesson our impact on others during this time.

 

Yes, which is why I said some of it is attitudinal.

 

I used to be the same too, although being locked and denied orgasms for quite a while, when I was allowed a full orgasm my mood changed after and I got moody, all the things above for 3-4 days.....what wifey started to do then was after i'd been allowed my supervised orgasm, she immediately locked me back up in my cage again. I no longer have the moody days now, it makes me grateful for the orgasm she allowed me and look forward to any future orgasm....worked for us, hope this helps.

 

One thing that's really helped keep me in check is two things. One, she ups her Dom game immediately after I have a full orgasm, to the point of almost being mean, and does this for a few days. Making him lick up his own cum is a classic solution many of us use, but if you aren't ready for that yet, I would suggest being as dominant as you feel comfortable. Two, and I feel this is most important, is punishment if he EVER acts up. Punishment can't be something he enjoys. It's to put him in his place so he remembers he serves you and your desires, not the other way around, and if even that doesn't help, stop chastity all together and tell him he has to earn his place as your servant back because he's lost the privilege to serve you. Topping from the bottom should never be tolerated and is a recipe for both of you having a bad time.

 

Yeah my husband is working on this. He really does not like the effect an O has on his mind, it makes him feel depressed and that's one of the major reasons we're looking into long term denial. Currently our goal is no O's for him till januari 1st.

 

My Mistress found the more i was allowed to cum the less attentive i was to her needs, as a sub that is not what either of us or you want. For me it was locking up long term in chastity, but i commend those who can use mental chastity.
Best of luck in your relationship

 

I love my queen dictating when I am allowed to orgasms! There is a refractory period after one for sure, but I try my best to manage it in hopes of being allowed more of them.

 

Thank you for that. You have no idea how much that means to me.

 

When my Wife(KH) allows me to have a orgasm, it takes 4-5 days for me to get back in the "mood"...At first my Wife would allow me to stay "free" for a few days. Now, if I cum, I'm locked right back up in my device. She allows me no time for freedom. She loves to make me leave the base ring on and bring me right to the edge and then locks me up with no orgasm. She has trained me to enjoy the mini orgasms I get when being teased. She gets me leaking and throbbing(no cum). My brain and body now know that is all I'm getting, so when it is over, I'm still in the "mood", but feel like I have had my release. And I'm thankful for that. The "leaking" orgasms is as good as a real orgasm, so my Wife has me believing. I really can't argue with her since she is my KH.