Monthly maintenance

So how do you earn these points?

 

Yeah we have no idea what you are talking about.... but if you wife needs to point system to figure out what to do to you... I dunno... best luck I guess.

 

Whatever works for you and her.

 

I don't think they are questioning the choice, it is more on how. How points are earned or lost. I think several posters have talked about similar approaches. For me, the details on how aren't important, because i see that as more between you and her.

 

Fairly straight forward. Just be good and obey.

 

Good luck

 

I think people just want to understand how it works, how do score points, what earns what points ect, that’s all.

 

Because I strongly dislike online / phone play, I had this going on with someone from whom I lived 4 hours away. I’d see them monthly and take a hands-on approach then.

Depending on circumstance and preference, this could work. Done properly, it can build suspense over time.

 

I'm still just wondering how you earn points. This is something that maybe could work for me and my wife if I just understood a bit more.

 

I follow a similar plan with my subs, except that in no way do I do the extraordinarily tedious work required to manage, monitor and keep track of such point-by-point, task-by-task, punishment-and-reward administration. (And don't quite see how this would really be sustainable in this precise format for anybody --especially KHs-- long-term!)

in my FLR I just decide what needs to be done when. And deliver the consequences at my own discretion. That works for me.

All the best to you as well!

 

We had something kind of like this (without the explicit explanation of what the points actually result in) where we would track in a spreadsheet when I did a longer term task on time, if I did something bad etc. And then every week my KH would review the positives and negatives and give some feedback and maybe a reward or punishment but nothing set it stone.

In the end we found it was quite a lot of work to ensure the spreadsheet was updated. I can see how it does work but I feel it works better now with it being more of just however my KH feels I did rather than having to track everything. Also means usually there is much more immediate feedback on good or bad stuff whereas before sometimes I would make more effort near the end of the week in the hope that would bias her memory toward a reward haha.

As others say it really depends entirely on what works for you and your KH and of course it is good to try different things as variety makes everything better. Glad you have a system you enjoy .

 

I've never experienced a regular schedule of maintenance spankings, so not really sure how they work. From talking to others that do receive them, it makes sense on how they can be effective. A certain reminder of roles, rules, and whom is in charge. It has a certain appeal to me, wishing i could have the benefit of such a program. But I wonder, have any of you subs involved in such routines, been required to confess your 'sins' so to speak, and ask for correction? Rather than require your KH to decide why you've fallen short, you have to tell her what you did wrong? Not that she couldn't have her own valid reasons or have noted mistakes on your part, but a certain baseline awareness from you of where you've fallen short of her goals. I could see how that would help keep you in a submissive state as you reflect on your service to her.

 

I have also been reading recently a little bit about daily / very regular spankings which are not really designed to be painful or a correction for any bad behaviour but more of a reminder of who is in charge. The idea of that does excite me to an extent but I also think it could definitely feel awkward at first. I think we would need to try it several times before judging if it works, I think maybe after the first few times you would accept why it is being done and feel more submissive.

So yeah I can definitely see how that could work and then have stronger spanking (or other punishments) for infractions which deserve it. And yes for me I am meant to bring up anything I do wrong which my KH may otherwise not be aware of.

 

I know maintenance spankings are not designed to correct for specific issues or failures, but it seems that if sub confesses to shortcomings that Domme may not be aware of, then he assists her in 'maintaining' the proper level of obedience. I would think maintenance spankings occur even if it appears sub has made no mistakes, so confessing any violations is sort of the sub supporting her position of authority.

 

I completely agree with you there @MissyB. I think for some people it is exciting to see if they can get away with a bad behaviour but as a sub we should be supporting our dommes.

 

I only receive maintenance and training spankings, though punishment spankings are technically an option. My Wife/Queen knows that I enjoy spankings (even when I don't), so she said she will never use spankings as a punishment. If I had a "confess my sins" schedule, the punishment would probably be withholding of some activity I enjoy. Right after I got my new chastity device, I screwed up, and she took away my device for 4 days while I was still not allowed to touch myself.

 

My Mistress and I have a similar system, albeit in an opposite manner with a set of demerit points that can be accrued for any misbehavior or disobedience (or, honestly, whenever she damn pleases). We usually evaluate the tally upon a regular basis during our weekly check-ins, although if it's something more urgent, she will assign me points at anytime she chooses.

The points reset after every check-in. The current tally determines a series of increasing levels of corrective discipline to be dispensed at her discretion. Often times, I am subjected to an extension of my current lock up duration. Extra tasks/chores/assignments, maintenance spanking/flogging, being plugged up for long periods of time are other frequent punishments.

We don't do "rewards" in our relationship, in the sense that I cannot truly "earn" a release or pleasurable activities, as we consider things like that to be entirely at her decision. I can, however, help tilt the scales in my favor, so to speak, by keeping my points as low as possible, but there are never any promises. This is why we use a negative demerit point system in our case.

 

That makes the most sense to me, too. And whatever “maintenance” you might deem appropriate as reminders of who is in control, even if there weren’t any transgressions to warrant “consequences".