Money?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by MDsh, Jun 11, 2016.

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  1. MDsh
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    MDsh Active member

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    When we started our FLR, hubby agreed that I would be in full control of everything including our money. I made him have his paycheck deposited in my account and then changed all the passwords on the accounts so he can't even access it. He gets $20 a week and a credit card for emergencies. Since that time we have never been in better shape financially. We have all but one credit card paid off, more money in savings, and have money left over at the end of the month.

    Has anyone else experienced the same thing when the wife took over the finances? Tomorrow he will get his allowance for the week and that is all he is allowed to spend. I love being in control of the money and wondered if others have done the same.
     
  2. Mark Owen
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    Mark Owen Member

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    what if he wants to bring you and offer you a dinner?? Months of pay spent this way?? Or you pay?? :p
     
  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    Ladys are lots better at looking after money. i don't have no money but it don't matter really cos i'm not allow to go out anywhere unless i'm with Mistress anyway. i do go to a little pub on a Friday nite but i'm took there and give £20 and then fetched back.
     
  4. HollyC
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    HollyC Active member

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    I've only heard good things when husbands surrender the financial decisions to their wives. I guess its also a further demonstration of female authority and male submission. I actually find the idea of a man wishing to maintain financial control whilst in an FLR laughable.
     
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  5. slavefox
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    slavefox Member

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    We tried it. In just one month, there was an improvement in our finances. It helped to reassert Her control, too. It didn't last, though, because it wasn't entirely practical. I own a business and so keeping on top of money can be time consuming. There was also an occasion where I had to pay a large expense in person, which would have been very awkward at the start of our FLR.

    I hope we can try again soon, because I believe that She is much better at managing money than I am and we agree that we are better when She is in control. We have to find a way of getting over the nuisances though - adults have adult responsibilities in the real world .
     
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  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    It also enhances the control and cements the sexual domination, with the double power transfer of money and sex combined. Makes for excellent enforcement leverage if he steps out of line.
     
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  7. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    Females are not inherently any better at managing money than males. We all have strengths that should be used in the relationship. If he is the better money manager of of the two, She may have him create a budget, write checks for the bills (which only she can sign), and present her with a monthly accounting.
     
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  8. slavefox
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    slavefox Member

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    For just about every couple I know, the Woman is the saver and man is the spender. Obviously that's only anecdotal but I think there's something in it.
     
  9. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Active member

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    Mistress is responsible for our money, but She works everyday and I am at home. So, She delegates the paying of bills through our online bank account to me and I am fully accountable to Her. I carry a debit card on that account so that when we go out, I can perform the traditional jobs of filling the car with gas, buying the groceries, etc. Beyond that, I am not permitted to have more than $20 cash at any time nor to use the debit card to withdraw from an ATM without Her permission.

    It works just fine! I find that, as a sissy, I really don't have much need for cash. I am happy for Her to control the finances. Heck, She controls the family jewels so why shouldn't She control the finances?
     
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  10. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    It may be a mistake to always assume that "Dominance means competence". When I got married, my wife wanted to take over the checkbook, so she did. It was not a good idea. She would frequently make errors in the checkbook (even though she's actually got better math skills than I do), and was not always on top of getting payments made. Eventually I had to step in and resume doing it. Now she has a demanding high-powered job (not involving money), and it's easier if I keep on top of making sure the utilities are paid and we can save what we can, when we can. She doesn't have to worry about making sure the bills are paid and can focus on her career. In the end, it's just another chore, like washing dishes. If the Dominant doesn't clean the toilet or vacuum the house, why should they have to remember to pay the water bill or balance the checkbook?
     
  11. DarkKnight
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    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

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    The couples we know tend to manage the finances jointly as do we.

    Studies tend to show that women are the better long term / retirement savers.
    "women are more likely than men to be in a 401(k) plan: 73% of women vs. 66% of men. The difference is even larger at higher income levels. Last year, 81% of women earning $50,000 to $75,000 a year participated in their 401(k) vs. 62% of men. Among people earning $75,000 to $100,000, 86% of women put away money in a 401(k) vs. 70% of men."

    The other side of the coin is that addictive shopping behavior is more predominant in women. It does trend to decreasing with age but is dependent in key personality traits:
    ""Our research indicates that people who score high on extroversion and neuroticism are more at risk of developing shopping addiction. Extroverts, typically being social and sensation seeking, "

    Again, I think we all have strengths that should be recognized and utilized.
     
  12. MeanBitch
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    MeanBitch Active member

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    Dependence and Denial are the foundations of a successful FLR, at least in my experience.

    Denial is what keeps my husband motivated. Being well behaved gets him a brief release from the belt so it's a simple reward system that keeps him working hard to please me.

    Dependence keeps him in line. As the breadwinner, from the start I took full control of the finances so that he had to ask me for every dollar and then account for it. This was very hard for him to get used to. But it's important because it means he doesn't have the option to go out to a bar or stray or to do anything that I don't think is good for him. He still struggles with it. It's not easy for a man to give up all control, but it's necessary to keep him in his place.
     
  13. seasoned
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    In french 'bourse' means purse but also scrotum,so I think you're onto something...it also means stock market;I hope mistresses don't start seeing males as tradable commodities:eek:
     
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  14. Shaggy
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    Shaggy Member

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    Nice idea, but not practical for us. Requires a level of power exchange that she isn't really interested in and that I'm not prepared to give up. A good portion of my salary is risk based and she isn't qualified to decide when I should or shouldn't turn down work. I never want to be in a situation where a financial necessity takes precedence over my own risk assessment.
     
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  15. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    I don't think this could have been described any more perfectly.
     
  16. locked4now2
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    Love the idea of being financially controlled by my keyholder, but in our case it would end up in bankruptcy. I have always been financially conservative and had no problems saving money. When we first were married and I opened my bank accounts to both of us mutually, within a short time, unexpectedly found I did not have enough money to pay the home mortgage. In looking further I discovered she was extremely restricted by her parents while be raised and now is unable to hold herself back from impulse buying... Many years later in our marriage I developed a monthly budget that permitted her a specific amounts that she could spend at her discretion. This helped considerably, but she still usually goes over the budgeted amount.... it is in my opinion the one area where I simply am unable to trust her completely and let her have full control. Is this a problem with my submissiveness, or is this just simply being responsible with life?
     
  17. MockingJay
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    I much prefer my partner to be in control of finances, that's been true of all my past relationships both kinky and vanilla
     
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  18. Aiki
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    Not a sub, but I have certainly done the reciprocal with both male & female submissives. I've always been good with money, both making it and investing it and would not let my partner have any say in that. I've never engaged in a situation where I was not at the very least 100% financially independent or in charge of the other persons money. Nor would it be psychologically possible for me to be.
     
  19. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    I would argue that it's a problem with your submission. You opened the bank account to her, but you didn't give her insight into the budget or the bills. She needs to be given control over all aspects of your finances, not just a part of it. Yes, there may be a learning curve at first, but eventually she'll get the hang of it and do a better job than you ever did. You just need to submit to her and trust her.
     
  20. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    I wish more women were like you. The world would be a much better place.
     
  21. locked4now2
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    I was not clear regarding the budget. We had jointly set a goal to buy a large expensive item, about 2 years ago. In order to be able to afford this item we needed save an substantial amount. I built a budget spreadsheet, but we jointly sat down together at the end of each month and we did this for several years. We both agreed on each item on the spreadsheet and then every expenditure was entered and tracked compared to the budget. Even with this she was unable to restrain herself and spent more than planned. We have been married for almost 20 years and she has never been able to control herself for impulse items. At this point we have both given up on the goal and she is spending more feverishly than ever. We happen to be in an area where the economy is in a recession and I am fearful that I am going to have to take a pay cut in the near future, at a time when she is spending like there is no tomorrow. I submit to her in everything else, and at this point I am simply monitoring the quickly shrinking saving account. We have had no conversations about this, but I can not see in my case how financially we are going to be better if I give up total control to her. Since I spend very little, in a way nothing much would change except I would be a nervous wreck not knowing where we were at financially. Anyway, thanks for the input, it does give me thought and something more to work towards.
     
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  22. Shaggy
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    Shaggy Member

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    Dominance doesn't equal capability.
    I've always had the view that it is ultimately the responsibility of the submissive to look after their own safety. If the dominant partner is clearly making poor choices, it is the subs responsibility to take action. It's all nice to say she has total control, but if that control is leading you and her into bankruptcy, or causing the loss of a financial safety net when the future is uncertain, then any negative outcome is as much your responsibility because of failure to take action as her free spending is.

    I have a co-worker whose wife controls his finances. He was completely dependent upon her for anything money related. She wouldn't allow him to even put the minimum into 401k for company matching because it would reduce his take-home. He didn't even realize he wasn't getting the proper pay rate, I found out because I was helping someone else out with payroll and spotted the incorrect rates when paystubs were compared. Am I in the wrong for checking his pay and getting him setup with company matching funds? He was employed for 15 years without being in 401k, easily lost upwards of 100k in retirement savings. 5 years later they were able to draw against his 401k for a down payment on a house.

    Fiscal safety is as important as personal safety. I've had to stop my wife from using certain implements while disciplining me because bad habits have caused her to continually strike areas that could cause unintentional harm, she was pissed off when I called her on it. I've given her power to discipline me, but it's not without limits and if my failure to reign her in allowed her to put me in the hospital, her emotional suffering would be as bad if not worse than my physical suffering.

    But that's just my opinion, your mileage may vary.
     
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  23. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    My wife would gladly have my wages paid directly into her account and in truth that would be sensible as I am the one who wastes money but I also know she would only allow me 'pocket money'!
     
  24. locked4now2
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  25. locked4now2
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    locked4now2 Member

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    Whoops hit submit before i typed

    Shaggy, thank you. I wholeheartedly agree with your take. I am protecting both of us financially and yet trying to give her enough control. If I see her trending towards improvement, I would be willing to give up more control. I just have to know our future is somewhat secure and we continue in this lifestyle.
     
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