Mmmmm! Kinkyyy!

We have been doing this less than a year together so I cannot say what is standard for us. We just haven't been doing any of it long enough, and things are constantly evolving.

When we started dating she was leaning towards trying to open her boundaries and I think was leaning submissive, she bought a sex swing and doubt she had planned to put me in it. Once she threw that out there I felt safe enough to tell her about chastity. So since she was game chastity was our primary kink.

Since then other kinks were either exposed or started in this order.

Light play spankings
Bondage/restraints
Harsher penalty paddling
FLR type of relationship
Light humiliation
Once a week maid service
And the newest she said she plans starting as soon as she gets to it is weekly scheduled maintenance paddling, and immediate punishment paddling in the harsh manner.

All of it evolved rather on its own, some were even on both of our hard limit lists.

Rewards are usually ruined Os or full ones. She considers pegging me as a reward so not something she does often. Tease sessions where she plays with it are also something of a reward.

We really haven't had too many problems. I spend most of my time with her, and that resolves a lot of relationship issues. Chastity also helps with trust. Yes you don't need it locked, but it IS locked so there aren't any of those issues.

Advice... let go and talk. Let go of your need to control what you want her to do, let go of any set number of orgasms or time limits you have in mind. Let go of everything you thought this was going to be. Talk about what turns you both on, talk about your limits, talk about the general direction each of you want this to go. Give her the keys and trust that she will keep you happy as much as you keep her happy.

Get a cage that fits and is comfortable for long term wear. That may not be your thing but it could escalate and it must capable.

Well that's where we are at now.

 

When @Mistress_M and I first started chastity I was 31 and she was 30. I'll be 33 next month and that puts us just shy of 2 years with chastity. We'll have also been together for a total of 13 years this year. I actually lost my virginity to her when we first met,

We started chastity because I realized I was not paying the kind of attention to my wife that she deserves and I didn't want us to get so focused on raising our child and other daily activities that we forgot about caring for each other. I asked her to lock me up after confessing my desire to live in a chastity relationship as well as telling her about the porn and masturbating that had been going on for years.

It took mistress several months for her to REALLY get into it because I am a dumb ass. I had a vision of how chastity should go and wouldn't let go of it. I was critical of her if I didn't feel like she was "doing it right" and was always pushing her to read others posts and give her tips etc...

Finally she'd had enough, she told me how much she enjoys our play but that I need to let her do her own thing and shut the hell up. I hadn't realized that I was being so pushy with her, but when I took a look at myself I realized I was constantly trying to top from the bottom. That was the beginning of last September, things have changed quite a lot since I finally "let go". She has so much more confidence in herself in her role and I can tell she really loves it as do I.

So chastity started first, then it led into an FLR as things progressed, we didn't really mean for it to turn into a FLR it just did. In the bedroom things get pretty hot, maybe not as kinky as some around here with the strap-ons and bondage but the level of her control is an immense turn on. I'm putty in her fingers willing to do anything she wishes.

She knows my mind is bit kinkier then hers and she slowly trying new things that she knows I'll like and finding she likes them too. She's found she really likes paddling my ass hard.

Recently due to medical reasons mistress and I have agreed I go cageless for at least six months to make sure things are okay then we'll reassess. We talked about different ways to keep me submissive and I found some different books on femdom. I showed them to her and asked her permission to buy them for her. She picked 2 of the books and said I was allowed to buy them for her. She's half way through one of them and can tell she's already trying different lighter things from the book with me. I wish I could have let go a long time ago and just trusted her to find her own way like what you and @Nicoftime said.

 

If you'd be willing, I'd love to hear as well as many others I'm sure, your story with your husband and how things progressed for the two of you through your dating and marriage. I always love to hear where couples started and how far they've gone. It makes me wonder where @Mistress_M and I might go in terms of our FLR and chastity. BTW welcome to the Mansion

 

Lol
As that well known phrase

Be careful what you wish for !

Xx Wendy

 

I am 47 my wife is 41. it really just started as as kink with us eventually we tried a leash and we ended up with her walking me around in public some (see the album)then we moved onto the cage and have been using that off and on for about 2 years now. we are not a 24/7 couple. and we have sex quite often but I do wear the cage when we are not having sex. the average is a week at at a time but some stretches have been as long as 57 days. some of the other kinks that have developed is she loves having me serve coffee on the weekends to her and one or two of her friends usually just her maybe once a month with her and friends we have done this on the patio and inside one of the games we have is when I'm in the cage i am expected to follow all instructions if I don't I get put in a small cage for a few days and usually get teased for a few nights. She is definitely in charge but we tend to like it that way.

 

We are an older couple and new to this (orgasm denial). It started with kinks, and i am the kinky one. My wife has always been shy about ass play and I pushed the issue on vacation last year and was surprised that she was somewhat agreeable to it. From there we added pee play and now I get a pee treat twice a day.

My online search of pee play led me to this site and my interest in orgasm denial ( I can't believe how good it feels to be horny and submissive 24/7). i know this sounds like its all about me, but my wife really enjoys it, both in and out of the bedroom.

 

Chastity and committing to a FLR were put in place first. Most anything kinky beyond our "normal" sex didn't start until some time after being in chastity and her accepting her FLR role. Feminization began immediately. She gave me a pair of her panties and she went out and bought a pile more to replace most of old guy stuff. She also bought me a complete maid outfit, with lace stockings etc...Since then, the new kinky things that happen include orgasm denial for various undetermined periods of time, being tied to the bed or bound, paddling, ruined orgasms, edging, milking, and a rare pegging. Outside of the bedroom, I am a full service maid at any time needed,

 

My wife is a Domina. Neither of us knew this until I locked myself and gave her the keys in Jan of 2016. What started out as a chastity kink that she was nice enough and open enough to play along with has become a FLR that we are still exploring and it is continually evolving. The only issues that ever arise are from me being selfish and not being totally devoted and submissive to her. She is strict, loving, kind and assertive. She really enjoys being listened to without question. I crave being the subject of her feminine power. We set aside 15 minutes every Monday to talk about how things are going, and every Friday she administers my discipline thwacks. None of this took place prior to chastity. Thanks for asking!

 

I forgot to mention about the mouth ball gag dildo which straps behind my head. She enjoys riding this from time to time. Some times I'm locked when she does this and i am so grateful, this is such an intense experience for me too. Something like very humbling too. lol...

 

Our journey began about 6 or 7 years ago when I confided to Her that I had been to a pro domme and that I enjoyed submitting to a powerful woman. Then, later, She caught me wearing panties as that seemed to fulfill my feminine urges at the time. She directed me to either stop wearing panties and be a man or dress like a real woman by going to a lingerie store for a bra fitting. I did the fitting and came home with 2 new, pretty lacy bras. From then, She began to feminize me, buying me lingerie, hls & a wig, applying my makeup, etc. and we started to do chastity on the "honor system" while She continued to increase Her control over many aspects of my life. She controls all aspect of our sex life - frequency, activities, likes and dislikes. Since I'm retired and She works, it became natural for me to take over almost all of the household chores, which I really enjoy doing - mostly while wearing lingerie and heels.. This evolved into a real life FLR, which we both have come to enjoy.

Then, about a year ago, I had to admit that I was being "dishonorable" and we jointly decided that I should be locked up - especially when She is not around. Each morning, when I get out of the shower, I put the cage on and line up the lock holes and She inserts the lock, clicks it shut, and tugs on it to reinforce Her control over me. She then lays out my lingerie for the day before leaving for work. I am given a daily chore list and, if I complete the list before She get home from work, I am released for the evening (but I still have to tie a pink ribbon around my C & B as a reminder of my sissiness.)

Having been a real alpha male jerk for most of my 72 years, I find it amazing that I am now so submissive and that I really enjoy it. Nobody among our family and friends, except for Her sister, know of my sissiness, but several are aware of the control that She exercises. i really love it!

 

Hello!

Greg and I have been dating for five years now. We're both in our mid twenties, fit and live active lifestyles.
I'd say our "thing" is like gentle Female superiority. If thats even a kink? lol it is for us anyway

We met through friends and hit it off, he was such a gentleman and was forward about his interest in feminism and such. But there was something about the way that he flirted with Me that made Me feel like he knew the animal inside Me lol. That's a weird way to put it, but he triggered something in Me I hadn't felt with another person.

We're both really open to new thing, similar in the bedroom. It was always about Me orgasming first, and he was always vocal about that. Said it was a rule of his

Ever since I was a little Girl I noticed how Girls were treated differently than boys, and I like how We were always treated as special. boys had to be tough and protect us, and all feminism aside, that kind of turned Me on, like it excited Me as a kid and developed as I got older. I liked how unfair it was.

Greg, admitted to Me that he liked Women leading, and so our relationship took the model that I had the final say (but we respect each other so its a give and take). But we were making our own version of a FLR, then the kinky stuff came pretty quickly, sexually it was always Me first. Then he liked to be teased and denied, we role play and write erotica together, and play games. Really recently he introduced chastity as a new toy for us, I was unsure but after coming here I fell in love with the potential and its been really fun since

This all has brought us super close, and its been amazing. I ruin his orgasms a lot when I let him cum.
The only problems are sometimes communication (as with most relationships) and he will occasionally "top from the bottom", but I'm quick to remind him of his place ;-)

 

The problem is that many men want to be dominated in the way they that they want. As you say, they do not give up complete control and trust. They want it their way. Most slave/chastity contracts read like a user manual. If I do this, then you do that. They are spelling out all the things they want done to them so that they know what to do to get their domne to do what they want. My wife and I tried FLR and BDSM, and the truth of the matter is that I am alpha and will never change. I have to be in control and cannot even work with other males. I work for a woman. I can be sexually submissive but it is me submittin,g and not me being dominated. There is a difference.

When my wife's girlfriend was sexually dominating me she gained my full trust. My only limit was not to do anything that required medical attention. She was good at it even with knife and fire play. Never needed to see a doctor because of her and she knew how to handle me when I begged her to do something that was too dangerous in the heat of the moment. She would often go through all the preparation and then say I was not worthy of it or that I seemed to enjoy it too much so she stopped. Sometimes she could make me feel as if she really was doing something when I could not see. I trusted her with my life but after sex was over, she was my wife #2, not my Mistress anymore. I do not fool myself. I know what I want and who I am, and it is nobody's full time slave.

 

For us convincing my wife to put me into chastity came first.
Though traditional,she has been very open consenting to various kinky aspects of our relationship:
Knowing that heavy teasing is like putting gasoline to a bonfire,she decided for me getting sensous massages and teasing (locked) by her masseuse.
She often comes by and adds to the teasing ,verbally and phisicaly.
I told her about me regularly visiting ProDommes before we married and she takes me for monthly sessions where I endure/enjoy several tortures,many of them designed by her,lol.among her favorites:
Me on the stretching rack,operated by the Dominatrix and she teasing me with a Kahli's Teeth Bracelet around my dick.
Me tied over a wooden horse,the Domme spanking me and she masturbating me slowly and asking me to endure.
Me on a bondage table,the Domme putting 200 clothpins all over my body and she tickling my feet.
Yes,i'm happy

 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeek

 

Great thread I have really enjoyed reading the other posts.

I confided to my wife that I wanted an FLR about 8 months ago. I was sure she was going to freak out. Amazingly she heard me out and we have been growing in this conversation ever since. She has actually grown very fast into enjoying being in an FLR, mainly because I think it is a natural extension of our personalities.

We have been together for 20 years and we are in our late 40’s. I own a business and have more free time than my wife. I have always liked making her life easier so we are enjoying where the FLR conversation brings us.

For us the FLR comes first, which I would defined as serving her needs. She shared with me the things that she is no longer interested in doing as a dominant women in an FLR and said they were now my responsibility. She also walked me through each thing and created a checklist of exactly how she wanted it done. We spend a lot of time together and I spend a lot of my free time doing the chores and tasks that she requires done.

I have no complaints, for me living in an FLR is the main reward that I get as I have thought about this for a long time, probably as early as 11 or 12 years old.

Femdom and sexual denial are big part of our conversation. My wife has allowed us to integrate some of this into our daily and weekly schedule because she says it keeps me focused on her needs and in the conversation.

The main kinks we explore

*Foot worship – I kiss her feet everyday before she goes to work

*Pegging – A recent development

*Chastity on the weekends only - Sexual denial - I cum when she says...period

*Some bondage and restraints

*Spanking – she has a riding crop that she loves – I have a love hate relationship with it and she often has me kiss the business end of it before uses it

*Lots of pampering – not really a kink but she loves her foot rubs

*When I cum I almost always have to clean her up orally

I average an orgasm about once every 3 weeks, she is committed to continuing to increase the time as she said I am in the best frame of mind after about 2 weeks.

Best advice, at least for me, is to make it as much about her as you can. It helps to communicate and take some time spelling out very clearly what she expects and wants you to do, no guessing about what keeps her happy. Makes life much easier

 

You are funny Jemima.

 

I like the way you and your man are going about this. It is an honest and straightforward approach. My wife and I have also found that we are much more communicative with each other about our wants and needs. Mostly my wants and her needs! It really has been an evolving organism and can't wait to see how it all works out and hope it continues in the fashion of her getting her needs met and me feeling good about providing the source of those needs getting met!

 

I have been training a 22 yr old submissive for about two weeks now. He is my girlfriend's step brother who has had some issues so she hooked us up. I don't believe in humiliation or cruelty but I am firm with him. I started him off right away by putting him in panties which I quickly learned he loved. I also learned that he liked to jerk off about 6 times a day at least so I informed him that he needed discipline in that department. I knew her needed to be put in chastity but it would be a couple days before I could take him to pick out a device so the first night I put him in a diaper and very snug plastic panties that locked. The locking involves a waist chain tight around the waist and a chain that attaches to the back and goes between his legs to attach to the front. Its locked with a small padlock. A couple days later we bought a steel cock cage and I had him put the cock ring on then showed him how to put his cock in the cage and lock it. He now knows that if I take the cock cage off he is to put it back on when ordered, lock it and give me the key. He wears it all day with nylon panties. I haven't started him wearing it at night yet so its always the plastic panties with diapers. I introduced him to the strap on the third day after he disobeyed one of the minor rules . He has learned quickly that when I tell him to get ready for a spanking he first brings me the strap or the belt, takes his jeans off if he is wearing them, lowers his panties and bends over the bench we use for punishment. I told him the other day after I had used the belt on him that it was time I started putting him in wrist and ankle restraints for his punishment.

 

Chantelle, rather than use the wrist and ankle restraints for his punishment, use them during his time at home as normal "wear". And find another means of punishment. The restraints will let him know that you are the one in charge. Sounds like you are establishing your authority at the start, which is good.