Misguided Suggestions

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by Locked N Sealed, Nov 10, 2016.

  1. Locked N Sealed
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    Locked N Sealed Slave to Keyholder Kim

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    It seem there are subs that take delight in trying to influence other subs Doms. I don't mind a suggestion or two. That's why I'm here. I want to learn and grow in my relationship with my Mistress. What I don't really care for is a sub suggesting that I been locked up longer or be denied a release for longer periods. That is up to my Mistress. I know she has the ultimate say of when, how, and where. Just be careful of what you post on other subs profiles. Do you agree? Have you ever been annoyed by this?
     
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  2. DrawnToChastity
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    There has been an instance or two where we received unsolicited "advice" repeatedly, lol. My biggest pet peeve is when people aren't willing to take the time and understand that any fetish has nuances to it. We have our own preference for how to approach our relationship that might be dramatically different from what someone else is experiencing while exploring chastity and femdom. It's not a "all or nothing" lifestyle choice, and as long as you're happy with your own decisions nobody around be trying to force their own kinks and opinions upon you.
    I love hearing how others are exploring the fetish on their own, and we don't judge anyone's decisions as long as it makes them happy. Suggestions are one thing, but being told we HAVE to do this, or NEED to have A, B and C for it to be proper chastity is just silly. Again, it may be overly aggressive advice coming from a good place, but I would just appreciate if people were willing to understand that our own limits are established by what we really like, not limited by what we fear but secretly desire to do.
     
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  3. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    My mistress never really posts on here even though she is a member so I can't say I've personally run into this issue. However I've read enough other posts on here to know exactly what you're talking about. I get a feeling some of the single guys here like to live vicariously through those of us with partners and they get a bit excited thinking they might be influencing someone's mistress into a punishment they particularly find attractive. I suppose it's annoying to us if our mistresses were to actually take the advice lol.
     
  4. Locked N Sealed
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    Locked N Sealed Slave to Keyholder Kim

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    My Mistress has started posting not to long ago. She's her own woman and can handle herself. I don't like it when a sub put ideas out for her because they fantasize about it. I like what she's doing and work hard to please her so I don't have to endure very long lockups and denials. If another Mistress wants to talk to her about such things it different. She probably isn't fantasizing about being in permanent chastity.
     
  5. DrawnToChastity
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    I think @Lockedwithlove just hit the nail on the head there though. Some people just live vicariously through others, making suggestions even they wouldn't realistically be comfortable with. However , with only one hand on the keyboard it may be hard for them to fully express their thoughts lol.
     
  6. Locked N Sealed
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    Locked N Sealed Slave to Keyholder Kim

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    I mean, don't get me wrong here. I am in a 24/7 lockup. If I get to release or get a break from the cage I'm really happy about it.

    It suits my Mistress to have me locked. Keeps me in my submissive state according to what she tells me.
     
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  7. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    I know what you mean, I'm on 24/7 lockup as well but my mistress is generally pretty liberal about releasing me once a week for playtime. there is nothing in between those lockups usually so I look forward to our weekends. I'm always up for mistress and I to try new things no matter who suggests them as long as it makes sense and is safe. but yes I agree, some of the suggestions I've read definitely look like they have been typed 1 handed lol.
     
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  8. sylvana chastity
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    sylvana chastity just Syl

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    perfect description! :p
     
  9. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    Never had that suggested to me because my sex life is not open to other's suggestions. I do not ask for suggestions as to what my KH wife should do to me. My wife does what she wants and the only say I have is at the beginning of each year when we agree on terms for the following year.
     
  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My kh is a member as well, although she doesn't interact very often. She reads some of my posts and gets a kick out of them but in general keeps to herself.

    That being said, others have contacted her, expressing their opinion that is off topic. She once asked a question about ruined orgasms. She was immediately told by a few that I shouldn't be allowed even a ruined orgasm, permanent lock up is the only way etc.

    I didn't put any stock into what they posted, I could tell by their profile they were cruising to have interaction with a kh. They weren't members I knew and blew it off. I could see it being confusing for a new kh, looking for advice, not sure how to be dominant, and being told they are doing something wrong.

    That is the reason I stopped logging into fetlife. As soon as I started chat they were very judgy and that's not something I was prepared to have her go through. She even asked me not too far into this"people said I should lock you up longer" I told her, there was no right or wrong way. When you want me out let me out. It's your decision and all about you, not what I want.

    She felt better and quickly found her groove, but other subs do like to chime in and extend time, and suggest punishments don't they;)
     
  11. Savorytart
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    Savorytart Seeking slaves

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    I honestly thought that a favorate sub past time was throwing others under the bus... I've seen it not only in chastity forums, but all over the kink community.
     
  12. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    It's not just subs doing this. I was told by one member who claimed to be a female dominant that my Wife couldn't possibly be dominant as she didn't treat me like an animal. I had a few interactions with her before I hit the ignore button. As always seems to be the case when I ignore someone the 'you are ignoring content from this member' messages dried up very quickly.

    I told Elle about this person and their comments last night. Her response was that treating someone like an animal isn't dominance, it is abuse. I am going to have to show her some of the abusive porn that is out there to let her know where this sort of idea comes from. As we all know if there is porn it is because there is a willing and eager audience for it.
     
  13. Locked N Sealed
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    Locked N Sealed Slave to Keyholder Kim

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    I like a bit of outside of the box suggestions, but in a suggestive way. Telling someone they're wrong or doing something wrong is crazy. Especially in the kink world.
     
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