mikecb's journey

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by mikecb, Jun 17, 2008.

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  1. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    In two days, it'll be five months. Unfortunately, I'm no where NEAR my weight loss goals. It's not for want of trying. I've been exercising a lot!

    I'm VERY cranky, sore, and extremely horny. I need some angry, violent sex in the worst way! :mad0039:

    Too bad my wife doesn't like that kind. :mad0217:

    May I just say, "Grrrr!" :mad0233:

    It's a good thing I never let my bad moods show! :innocent0002:

    Where's my St. John's Wort?!?
     
  2. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Joke: Maybe all your weight is stored up in your nuts! Five months of stored up goo. Sounds like right now your only "release" is through exercise.

    So I'm just wondering MikeCB - is wife aware of your 5 month stint? I mean, have you explained that you haven't "nailed her" in so long because of ...? Those around you might be wondering why you're so cranky, sore, etcetera . Now from the way you write I would never think that you would be ornery or mean to other people, but are people picking up on your general grouchiness (even though you don't let your bad moods show)?

    Hang in there!
     
  3. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Rotfl! You're probably right!

    My wife isn't aware. She has very little libido, and feels badly about it. Once or twice she's admitted, after the fact, that she had made love out of a sense of obligation, and not interest. I was horrified. I felt more like a rapist than a husband. As a result, I no longer push. I let her know I'm "available", but I leave it up to her. If she initiates, great, otherwise I don't even try. It's dysfunctional, but at least I can look in the mirror. Given her libido, let's just say that sex isn't a "featured" aspect of our relationship. lol. Still, I married the whole woman, not just the genitals. I can live with it.

    I can generally mask my grouchiness pretty well, but not from her. I have "mood eyes", and she can instantly tell my mood by eye color. She came home yesterday afternoon, took one look at me, and asked "Umm... how are you?" She really knew the answer. lol. I said "Really grumpy, just now." She asked what she could do to help, and got me out a few St. John's Wort. We both went out of our way to be very polite to each other, all night.

    For the most part, I can segregate how I FEEL from how I ACT. That can be a handy thing... especially when you've spent as many years as me doing martial arts! lol. I've only lost my temper once, ever. Fortunately, he was fully armored, and the wall behind him was sturdy. lol
     
  4. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Does St Johns Wort work?! I've got some I've been meaning to start taking!

    And as for some angry sex.... come hither my sweet, I'll be your target!

    I shouldn't be flirting like that should I?! Blah.... it's safe, you're not even in the same country!
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I would like to point out we cross posted, and I would never mean to be disrespectful to your wife or your relationship.... but hopefully you all know me well enough to know I was just playing. :sad0004:
     
  6. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    No worries, MW, I know that! :) .. ya big meanie... teasing a poor fellow who's about to burst with pent up.. err... "enjoyment" ;-p

    Regarding St. John's Wort... I take it when I'm cranky, and it >seems< to help. It might be the placebo effect, but I try not to overanalyze. :) :cat:

    mikecb
     
  7. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Good news / bad news.

    The good news. I made it to 5 months.

    The bad news. After a very annoying few days, while my mood was particularly foul, I slipped of the wagon. :jerkit: I neglected to warn the Eastern Seaboard, but fortunately, the resulting explosion didn't cause too much damage! :mad0233:

    I'm undecided if I'm going to go under self-denial until I reach my weight loss goals, or take a break until work and life are a little less frustrating. I'll take a few days to think about it, I guess.

    Hugs,
    mikecb
     
  8. forevermore
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    forevermore Long term member

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    He is human! Well I will reply on both the good news/bad news sides. Congratulations on making it for 5 months while teasing yourself and wearing no device; sorry you did not make your goal. I know you were really working hard and dedicating yourself to the goals you set.

    I have seen on the site the Question "Do you really need a device." And I have seen answers on both sides of the coin. I think your recent experience demonstrates that most/many could do it without a device for the most part, but we all have weak moments. A device is there to protect/enforce during those times. We all have them from time to time; we are human.

    little pet
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I think 5 months is amazing! :jumping0044:

    That's a lot more than some other people manage, even with a partcipating keyholder.

    You're amazing. :happy0120:
     
  10. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Congrats on the 5 months Mike:happy0030:. i surely couldn't make it 5 days without a device. Love the humor in your last post.

    Rachel
     
  11. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Mike 5 months!! Wow! I can barely make it 5 weeks hell 5 days on my own. You are my idol. :anim_37:

    Now Mistress Watchful shame on you for not asking the rest of us from the states if we wanted in on the deal! lol I laughed my but off on that one. Kind of nice to see the humorous side of people here once in a while. Actually it is probably good I am in the states after seeing some of those European Mistresses I might have to change by next birthday present request. lol

    Any way Mike I just wanted to say as someone who is going through what you have been living with a wife with a libido drop and the comment about you married the whole package you seriously have my deepest respect, honestly. I think I could learn much from you as I not only get moody I get bitter and I hate ME when I get that way. Best of luck on your next goal and thanks for telling us why we had the earth tremors across the midwest. lol
     
  12. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Well, thanks to all for the showing of support. I was pretty frustrated at my lapse, while everyone in the community seems to be in awe that I made 5 months. It helps me set perspective a little! :) :character0201:

    I'm "refraining" from masturbating, for now, until I can decide if life is calm enough for me to put myself under self-imposed rule, again, for my weight loss hopes. That's a tough one, since weight loss is a challenge for all of us, coupled with the challenge of self discipline. Ugh.

    Meanwhile, on a happy note, soon we'll make our annual pilgrimage to the Bluesfest. While we're there, I'm hoping to have another "spa day" with our Pro Domme friend. I'll also be spending a few days with a D/s couple, there, while my wife comes back home for a different festival. My wife has already said "We should get them to tie you up and give you a good whipping while I'm gone". As I say.. she's nothing if not supportive! lol

    mikecb
     
  13. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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  14. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Rachel, Oh thanks so much for the reminder. Alas, after spending 10 days.. and I do mean SPEND... in Ottawa, I fear finances will prevent us from going to the Pocono fest. It was on my "things to think about" list, if we decided not to go to Ottawa this year. My wife has her heart set on it, and then we found out our friends (the D/s couple) who had been boycotting the fest for a few years, are going this year. That's too good to pass up, so we're going. :)

    Thanks for reminding me, though. It's definitely on my "check it out" list of things to try!

    mikecb
     
  15. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Mike just enjoy the tunes!!!! Sounds like a good time to me. Travel safe. Maybe next year Pocono.

    Rachel
     
  16. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Balance

    Mike, now that you have cum, you may be willing to listen to reason!

    At least milk yourself regularly for medical reasons (every one or two weeks) and throw in an occasional orgasm for fun and to keep your memory 'needy'.

    My humble opinion is that you need some balance in this aspect of you life man! You seem well balanced in other ways. Five months! I mean, cum on Man!

    Respectful :cat:
     
  17. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Rotfl! Thanks for making me chuckle! :)
     
  18. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    Happy Birthday, Daddy

    I rolled over onto my back at 6:45. I had been spooning Harold. My eyes were still closed when he gently came and stood on my chest. Very delicately, he rubbed his nose and chin against mine, while quietly purring. Slowly, I opened my eyes thinking "How cute, he's wishing me Happy Birthday." Then his stomach growled, LOUDLY!

    OK, perhaps I anthropomorphize him a little too much sometimes.

    His eyes grew wide as he bounced up and down with my chuckles. I gave him a scritch behind the ears, a kiss on the head, and got up to give him a some breakfast.
     
  19. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Well then. Happy Birthday Mike! Grrr, purr, umm, bark and a yip.
     
  20. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Mike;

    What Lauren said.... "Grrr, purr, umm, bark and a yip."

    She is so cute isn't she? Keep on cummin man!

    Respectful
     
  21. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    lol @ both of you :)
     
  22. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Everything in moderation

    Cum on man, get a grip on your till now ignored orgasm potential! You could rock your world just from the lost energy of previously missed 'cummies' or milkings! Schedule them more than five months (or weeks, or less) apart!

    Be moderate or be denied (too much)!

    :tortoise:
     
  23. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    lol. Well, let's just say I "celebrated" my Birthday! ;-) :anim_65:
     
  24. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I can't believe I missed another birthday! :sad0137:

    I'm crap... sorry... :manga_champers:
     
  25. mikecb
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    mikecb Long term member

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    lol.. We love you, anyway, MW!
     
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