Menopause and Chastity!!! ( A Good Combination)

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Miss E’s Bitch, Jul 25, 2021.

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  1. Miss E’s Bitch
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    My wife and I have been into chastity for several years. Over the last few months I have noticed that her sex drive has become lower and lower. The other day she brought up the idea of ordering a custom device that would be more secure. We talked and looked at several different ones and that was kind of it. A couple days later she comes to me and shows me one that she likes and then begins to tell me that she is starting menopause and confirmed that she just isn’t as interested in sex as she used to be. I know we are not the only couple to experience this. How do the couples on here that into this lifestyle still make it work?
     
  2. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Mrs Edge hit menopause very early, and it screwed up her sex drive for a very long time. It's probably a reason why I spend a good part of 20 years locked up.

    Because she wasn't interested in sex, she often became annoyed that my just being affectionate (grabbing her butt in passing, a kiss on the neck, an impromptu hug), she began to see every action of mine as an attempt to initiate sex. She found that my being locked up left her feeling more in control and less pressured.
     
  3. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Active member

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    My wife has just about zero interest in sex… and although not hostile to chastity, puts in just about zero effort too.
     
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  4. Ron33
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    Ron33 Active member

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    Same here with menopause. We started using male chastity to cut down on my masturbation mostly. Also, I do a 10 day lock up each month to give her a break from anything sexual.
     
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  5. Happytoplease
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    Happytoplease Sexually starved, and constantly horny.

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    The effects of the menopause on my wife's libido is what has made me consider chastity, mainly to take some sexual pressure off of her.
     
  6. LockedTower
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    Chastity also helps us deal with reduced libido due to menopause. It has become a way to keep sex a regular part of our life, even with less actual sex. I feel sexy and incredibly horny wearing the cage and she feels sexy controlling me. It's really a great way to deal with libido changes and differences between partners.
     
  7. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    I'm right there with you. My wife has had no interest in anything sexual for about five years now. She sometimes asks questions about my cages, but otherwise ignores them. She does not see any real benefit to her from me wearing a cage. She has said that I am on "time out".
     
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  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    please @anasyrma dont She let you doing anything at all in bed with Her.
     
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  9. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    Nothing sexual @jemima. I usually massage her feet, legs and back and we kiss sometimes, but that's all.
     
  10. PawEee
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    #10 PawEee, Jul 25, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2021
    That all what you report here is so sad. But one could have a different problem, as me.
    My beloved lifetime frient, my fantastic Lady is on menopause as well, but she is still interested in vanilla sex. But she refuses any sex with a cage on, seeing it as a fetish changing the subject of my sexual interest from her to “this piece of plastic”. Thus with a cage she feels to be an object rather than beeing a subject of my arousal, which she considers to be derived from her at all. Thus results in absolute refusal of participation in my chastity fetish.
    I’m not shure what’s better. An absolute lack of interest in sex with cage tolerated seems to be much worse than my eife’s interest in vanilla sex and intimacy, but with cage denied. She’s absolutely repelled by cage in bedroom. That gives a vivid reaction of her refudong even slightest embrace, cuddling, kisses. She says I want to have love eith a cage and not eith her! ;)
     
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  11. FPH
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    FPH New member

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    This is the reason that I suggested my partner could hold the key to my belt. I was concerned that my active libido was causing her anxiety about her reduction in interest. Early days, but hopefully having control of my sexual release will help us both realise that a cuddle is just a cuddle.
     
  12. PawEee
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    #12 PawEee, Jul 25, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2021
    But she refuses to take the key. She says: you could be in a cage as long as you like. But it means you sleep out of our bedroom, you should not caress me, touch, kiss… “You should choose between this fetish and me” She tolerates it but refuses to participate.
    She’s a wise women. She would not easily change her mind. If she could change it at all.
    She doesn’t accept my deep feelings: that cage expressess my exclusive devotion yo her, my desire to be owned by her, to jave my sexuality controlled by her, to have her with me in the city with her grasp of my penis and testicles felt through cage closed by her hand eith key in her necklace.
     
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  13. PawEee
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    „A cuddle with a cage is different than a cuddle without it.” This is how she seres it, what deters my Lady from this little nice chastity.
     
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  14. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    It seems if you want to show her your devotion and that she has control of your sex life you need to abandon the cage and use self control instead. Listen to all HER desires and play to HER needs rather than your wishes. Shower her with attention and if you don't want to have actual intercourse tell her you just want to cuddle and make her feel loved.
     
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  15. Miss E’s Bitch
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  16. gary170
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    My wife also lost all interest after menopause we have been in the chasity lifestyle for over 10 years the only thing she hasn't lost interest in is keeping me locked which is great
    I do miss her sex drive as she was fun but what can you do still love ever to bits and love been locked for her
     
  17. Miss E’s Bitch
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    Tom Allen that is what she said about me being in chastity before Menopause hit. That she knew she had the control to release me when and if she wanted sex. She seems to still enjoy and want me to give her oral. It is only the penetration part that she says she’s just not interested in.
     
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  18. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Active member

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    My Wife(KH) makes it work. My Wife is 70, she had menopause in her early 50's. We haven't had PIV in 15 years. She lost all interest in having me inside her. Since I started being locked, it has brought a new interest for both of us and sex. The only way either of us have orgasms now is totally controlled by my Wife. She will masturbate and allows me to masturbate for her. The odd time she will give me a blow or hand job to full orgasm, but that rarely happens. I have nothing to do with her having a orgasm now. I get to watch and keep her fingers wet, but that's all. I do get to massage her body and her feet, which I find very sexy. It makes her feel good and if I do a good job I get a reward. I might get 6 orgasms a year now. My Wife will make me cum every 2-3 months. I have no say in when this happens, if she wants me to, I do it. The tease & denial sessions are my sex life now. I have learned to enjoy it and after a good session, where I leak a lot. In my mind, it's like I have had a my orgasm. It's not about having PIV now at our age, it's about keeping the flame between us burning. In the three years my Wife has had me locked up and controlling our sex life, it has given us a fresh look on a different life style. Which is very exciting for both of us...
     
  19. Locked Sam
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    Locked Sam Member

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    How do you deal with that? Ultimately isn’t chastity supposed to be fun, or at least improve our lives/relationships? Do you self lock ?
     
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  20. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Active member

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    Errmm… good question. I go through cycles between feeling bitter and resentful and then accepting and grateful for what we do have.

    I recognise I’m in a provocative mood at the moment…
    When I’m getting the chance, I’m modifying a steel key safe for time locking. Im then going to propose I self lock and put the keys in for say 2 weeks. Anything to get a reaction.
    We’ve done all the talks, I’ve sent some great links to pages about benefits and options on how to play - but interest is just about zero.
     
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  21. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    ooooh. well i hope you not sad and that you am ok.
     
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  22. dre8car
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    dre8car Always Locked and Rarely Cum - Lori 8b

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    My wife's libido has been declining for years into menopause. The only sex that she has now is via masturbation and she has never allowed me to participate when she does. So I've been locked a while. Recently, she did say that I may receive some attention soon but that was 6 weeks ago.
     
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  23. Locked Sam
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    I wish you all the best. It should be a two way street. You both deserve to be happy (that includes you).
     
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  24. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Not sure how I'd deal with a wife that had no interest in sex.

    Hoping to never find out.

    It doesn't sound easy; that much is certain.
     
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  25. PawEee
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    This all talk, and idea to order a more secure cage at a very deep level could have been a desperate atempt to have you help her and support in a situation that is new and so important personally to her integrity as a women. It looks as a cry for your ideas to deny end of her sexual life. It is not necessarlly so, that she is destined not to have sex anymore. HZT therapy, and cuddles form husband could reverse this trend. Please do not give up. Give her as much as you can in this most difficult moment of her sexual life.
    You could not only try to caress her more, kiss, cuddle, talk... Ypu could try something new like, say, argentinian tango dance classess or anything aother that could be a pleasant new way of beeing together in a situation were sex is in the air, even if it is not PIV or cunnilingus... Tty as much as ypu can Be creative if yopu love her and if she's ypur best friend...
     
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