Men in chastity

Than why do you spend so much time on this site?

 

Bingo. I feel that slight tug down below all the time and get aroused multiple times a day without cumming. Then, when it finally does happen, its spectacular.

 

I just love my wife having control of me. I enjoy her orgasms as much as she does. And the feeling of frustration is unbelievable!

 

I feel that I belong. That she cares about me

 

I like the fact I've got no control over down below and my girl friend is always on my mind, added plus points always feel hornie which is quite nice...

 

I got here by accident. I bought a cage and a book and gave it to my wife last Christmas. I wasn't even aware of chastity porn and did not want my orgasms denied. The fact of the matter is my number one complaint about my marriage a year ago was a lack of sex. I saw this as a potential sex game to increase my wife's libido. I figured maybe I'd skip an orgasm or two, but if it got her engines running, it was well worth the effort.

Orgasm denial opened my eyes to how destructive masturbating to porn was for my marriage. I realized that I was blaming my wife for "making" me resort to this. I was also faulting her for not having the sex drive or the willingness to try all the things that pornstars or average people were doing on my computer screen. I always "did things" for my wife. I wasn't a pig of a husband. However the orgasm denial made me really focus on her. What can I do to make her happy. Like the joy you find from giving a good gift at Christmas, I found joy in doing things for her that she liked. I also found that I had more time and energy once I started being chaste and serving her. It was weird because I was doing more (and I thought I couldn't) and yet I was less tired. Then I would have an orgasm and come crashing back down to earth. Again I wasn't a pig, but I wasn't as attentive, as kind or as obedient.

I think these things sort of snowballed and developed into a perfect storm. She liked being the center of attention and came to expect it. She liked having orgasms and telling me to put her toys away and roll over and go to sleep. She liked having me wait on her as she desired and perform household service for her. In fact she liked it so much that she would be angry or disappointed if I didn't do what I was supposed to. Surprisingly I found I liked serving her, having my will subjected to hers. It's hard to explain as perhaps I didn't like doing the dishes as an example. But I liked that I had to do the dishes for her.

We sort of organically established this FLR where I was expected to do all of these things and it worked while she kept me locked and denied. It would still work to a lesser degree after an orgasm, but I'd be sloppy and lazy by comparison. It was at one such point that she was mad at me for not doing something and I said, "well maybe you should do something about it". Out of that came punishments .

So all of that is a long way to answer your question with a single word; happiness. Both my wife and I are so much happier today than we were a year ago. Sometimes I get down in the dumps. I think I'm going to take this stupid cage off and go chuck it in the ocean. Sometimes after being freed and having some orgasms, I'm thinking this is so much better, no way I'm going back. Then I remember that angry man wanking into a waste basket in his office while watching porn on his computer while his wife was watching the kids, making the dinners and doing the laundry and I say, I never want to be that man again. That's what motivates me.

 

Though she instigated and continues to be the primary force behind our chastity, that there, that you posted, is among the most surprising truths to be revealed to me through all of this. I’d read about powerful Executive types visiting pro dommes because the giving up of control, even if only for a time, is a relief to them. I’m certainly no powerful executive type, but I can say for sure that that feeling truly is a relief. At least for me. She has to push a little and keep it going a little longer before I start to feel it, but it’s real. Not feeling the responsibility for guiding our sex lives is a surprisingly big relief. The more control she excercises in those times, the more the relief. It’s an odd thing. But definitely one of few things not directly related to her that encourages me to submit to the cage and whatever else goes with it.

 

I’m a little late to this thread, but it’s a great thread and maybe we can reinvigorate it.

There are so many reasons this works for me, here’s my Top 10 in no particular order:

1. I like it both independently and because it fits with and assists in promoting the FLR we both want.

2. I am sexually submissive. I like the feeling of being controlled and dominated by a woman. It took a long time to admit that. With my erection under control I will obey, defer and submit to her in all matters.

3. I am publicly a strong alpha male in a high stress demanding over-achieving environment. Giving up sexual control and control in my marriage and home is incredibly relaxing.

4. I like the way that chastity keeps the desire hot for weeks on end. Weeks of desire is more fulfilling for me than ten seconds of pleasure and four days of waiting for the strong need to return.

5. I am very thankful for the cage and the protection it provides against unauthorized erections and my lack of self-control over my formerly secret masturbation habit. Without the cage I identify sexually as a “masturbator.” Masturbation is selfish and disrespectful, and distracts from my attention and submission to my wife. Now, I have a powerful association between my wife and few times each year I am permitted to ejaculate, and even between her and the few times each month I may be permitted an erection.

6. The cage has changed how I respond to my wife. My wife loves how submissive I have become. I try to be attentive and really listen to her, and when she asks for something I don’t forget it (accidentally or purposely). My wife likes that, a lot, and it’s given her new confidence in herself. The cage is removing the sharp edges of my type A alpha masculinity, which my wife has wanted to do for years. She wishes we had started this years ago, and so do I.

7. Each month she becomes more selfish sexually, more turned on, more demanding, which just makes me crazy with lust for her. As an example, she’s come to love the strapon — when I’m wearing it. The cage has made her pussy a holy place of worship, a sacred auditorium where her music is played on the strings of my tongue.

8. Every time I see it I am reminded that this submission is real, that I am in real life and not just in my fantasies, a submissive husband, that I will obey her and submit to her.

9. By controlling my demanding erection the cage has allowed me to open my mind to the full scope of my sexuality and allowed me to understand and affirm, and no longer deny, my submissive and even feminine or bisexual nature. About a year after I became locked I started wearing panties. My fantasies are so much broader now.

10. The cage has required me to replace my erection with affection.

 

1. Submission. Something I want to do and refrain from because I'm instructed to.
2. Symbol of respect. To fail to meet the instruction would be disrespectful.
3. Satisfaction. In achieving a task which shows my submission and my respect.

What it isn't is sexual. It's a mental thing. A way of showing devotion, and devotion requires no quid pro quo.

 

Yes it is. And we see the whole gamut on here. Which is what makes it such an interesting place.

 

Any and all!

 

Me as well. I'm continually amazed at the thoughts and emotions I find revealed within myself. I usually recognize that vestiges of them have always been there, but never before allowed to surface or flower. It's so ironic that caging the penis has freed the subconscious.