Masterbation: Compulsion, Habit or Addiction?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Isopropylforyou, Apr 26, 2020.

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  1. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    I have had success but it's been hard.

    Really hard.

    What had helped is the guilt that has become associated with it. It feels like cheating to me. When I self-pleasure, I am not including my Wife. Its like I am hiding it from her like one would hide an affair.

    That thought, that feeling has been the most powerful motivator for me.
     
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  2. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    I am unfamiliar with these books.

    I have something new to add to my reading list.

    Thank you.
     
  3. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    Dopamine nation changed my perspective on a lot of things (weed, booze, sex, to name a few) and was well worth reading. She has some great interviews on YT too.

    Cupid's poisoned arrow is something my KH is reading and she is utterly convinced that orgasms are a thing of the past. - maybe don't show your wife :p
     
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  4. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i dont no really but some men i have chat to on here telled me that they do it ever such a lot of times in a day. and i asked them why they am not lock up in a cage cos they spose to be on here but they never anser me that.
     
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  5. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    As a teen I jerked off pretty much daily as most of us probably did, got married at 18 and rarely jerked off again. Now that I’m locked up, when my Wife has occasionally granted a week of freedom here and there over the last couple years, it’s very difficult to keep my hands off my cock lol.
    I don’t see having those freedom weeks much any more, but just found it interesting that it sparked my desire to masturbate again after about 30 years of not really wanting to!
    Of course, I didn’t really need to either, as we always had sex about 7-10 times a week. My Wife was a frequent masturbator all the way through her teen years too, it’s no wonder we’ve had an amazing sex life together all these years! :)
     
  6. JB2021
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    JB2021 Active member

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    I work away a lot and was typically at it at least once per day, watching a lot of porn in the evenings ,which led to a drop off when I got home. I admitted this to my wife and, after a few go's, we are now in a permanent, no orgasm agreement. I am locked 24/7/365 and not allowed out of the cage for anything, apart from changing over to a plastic one if I am travelling overseas. She has told me I will never orgasm again and is very reluctant to even let me out to shave as I cannot be trusted to get hard.

    She has never cum so much and with our strap on, she told me this weekend she has become very selfish with orgasms and just wants to have a few then go to sleep, along with fioot massages and back tickling.

    She loves it.....
     
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  7. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    Masturbation when single was the start of it, then broadband and PornHub came along with picture categories and ruined us all.

    Habit, then Addiction...Yes. The compulsiveness is born out of the other two. There is no doubt that if I am not caged I'm going to masterbate For a short time I can last on the honour system (due to a sore spot), but if my wife is not in charge and this game were at an end the habit will come back followed by addiction and compulsion. She prefers me locked and she's right to.
     
  8. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    Masturbation is a completely normal healthy part of male sexuality. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your ability to hold down a job or enjoy sex with your partner it should not trouble you. If it does, you should seek out a qualified sex therapist to put your mind at ease.
     
  9. Alana
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    Alana Long term member

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    Masturbation Can be a normal part of male sexulaity.
    It can also be a way to meet ones own needs while ignoring those of a committed partner.
    I suppose it depends on if you are in a committed relationship or not.
     
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  10. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    Actually most men are quite capable of meeting their partners needs and masturbating frequently. I’m very fond of Femdom and Chastity fetishes. However, I’m against turning masturbation into any form of sexual dysfunction. Excessive masturbation may be a symptom of an emotional disorder, but is in NO way a disorder itself.
     
  11. NM Lori
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    NM Lori Member

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    Some of us already have brain chemical issues, (I take anti-depression meds to help control strong rages among other things). Masturbating is not a healthy thing for me because I also seem to have a major overdose of prolactin. Some men have short refractory periods. I can take 10-14 days to settle back into being a decent person. I have self-loathing, guilt, anger, poor decision making, laziness, selfishness and a whole other range of things. It also creates a personality that becomes very hostile over minor things — including some road rage incidents.

    I crave orgasm and masturbating frequently. My wife struggled to understand that I would rather not have the pleasure of an orgasm because a few seconds of fun is not worth days and days of being an asshole.
     
  12. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Its all 3…
    I started masturbation at 11yo.. first ejaculation at 12yo.. shock of my life wondering those sticky spills were.. by then there was already words passing around “penis juices”… i was in a missionary all boys school.
    It soon became a habit .. daily.. in school toilets, behind some trees.. nightly in my room.. it became addictive in college.. i would wank off anywhere convenient.. in car, swimming pool, sauna rooms, at the seaside… my grades dropped while my attention was hooked onto altairboy stories… that was when i stumbled across the chastity device.
    It went on to become compulsion during work stress.. something that has to be done if not all things dont seem right.. started to visit brothels and massage parlours.
    It was fun become guilt became torture…
    My wife is right.. i have used my lifetime quota of orgasm indulgence..
     
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  13. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Compulsion and addiction.

    Indeed I believe that love for your partner/wife is probably associated with addiction, when you break up the feelings of withdrawal are pretty bad, and the same as addiction, you know if you abstain the feelings will pass. I think that during the early part of your relationship you get imprinted with the joys and the high of great sex.

    then it morphs into all this shit we deal with on here.

    After about a week to 2 weeks though I feel very stressed as in my shoulders tighten up and I feel compelled to do something. Now unfortunately my partner is not really into orgasm denial any more and I am curious if having sex and feeling her cum would really be a substitute and allow my feeling of tightness to go away. She threatens every now and then but in the end she always lets me cum when she does, while I fantasize about denial, in some respects I am glad she does...lol...she does like me locked tho, and she gets pissed at me if I play with myself in a unauthorized way.

    And I admit the great feeling of orgasm after a week or two of not having one, helps me stay imprinted lol.
     
  14. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I know that I told myself repeatedly that masturbating was a "completely normal healthy" part of male sexuality. And I used that as an excuse or justification or as forgiveness to masturbate all the time, whenever I felt like it. And like @Alana says I allowed it to be a way to meet my needs while ignoring those of my wife. So while it may not be a sexual "dysfunction" it is a marital dysfunction. Masturbating interferes with the intimacy of marriage, mine at least and I suspect many, many others, and I'm thankful that I found chastity and I'm thankful for my chastity cage. My wife understood right away why I was asking her to keep me locked unless she wanted to use it.
     
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  15. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    You nailed it.... At least for me and my marriage! I had low libido, low testosterone and ED and no interest in physical intimacy. Masturbation and porn were the only way I could get off. After I found chastity and my wife and I restarted our marriage, I realized I was addicted to masturbation because I couldn't stop myself. I PMO'd all the way thru our marriage and my wife never felt fulfilled until I gave it up this year.
     
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  16. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    Exactly

    Masterbation interfered with the physical intimacy I had with my Wife.

    I had spent all my sexual energy Masturbating.

    I pleased myself and not my Wife.
     
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  17. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    I have a compulsive addiction to masturbation (without cumming) that is habit forming? Should I seek help?
     
  18. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    That is guilt compensated self assurance.. when i had chronic masturbation habit interfering in daily life.. i would try to stop at least at any point prior to ejaculation.. it gave me some illussion of victory.. some mind over matter.. that ‘actual’ masturbation has not occured. It relieved me from the sense of guilt of self indulgence again.. sometimes the wanking was so advanced just in the nick of time before cumming that the buildup was inevitable.. the pelvic spasm was engaged and the fluids were being compressed to be ejected but with sudden stop.. there would be bladder contraction/prostate squeezing/lower abdomen convulsion that could last several hours..
    i would not want to relive the years of masturbation addiction anymore..
     
  19. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    men that does it have got smelly hands
     
  20. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I totally get this. I'd go further, and say that cheating with different women is also perfectly normal and healthy, and fathering children with lots of different women is also normal and healthy.

    But my wife doesn't approve. And were I to do those things, it would make her sad. So there's to be no spreading of seed and personally re-populating the earth with it. And also, no masturbation for me.

    And that is my perfectly new-normal, and seems plenty healthy.

    But I agree that masturbation isn't (by itself) dysfunctional ... but eliminating it can have some very, um, functional gains.
     
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  21. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    I loved your take on this!!!

    Masturbation has negative consequences on my behavior towards my wife. Therefore, she suffers even if it is just that I don't treat her the way she deserves because my sexual energy has been spent on myself. We might still have good sexual exchanges every few days, but since I've stopped masturbating, we have great sexual exchanges almost daily. And that doesn't begin to address the emotional, intellectual, & spiritual connectedness that we experience now.
     
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  22. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    mastubation is like alcohol, their benefits are hard to find but their destructiveness is all over our world.
     
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  23. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    You must mean "excessive". Moderate masturbation can have lots of benefits: stress reduction, relaxation, reduced risk of prostate cancer (if you believe that one), and just plain fun.
     
  24. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    One thing that isn’t discussed much, is that it can become a way of self soothing. I don’t mean because it physically feels good, although it does, I mean because it’s a way we can mentally feel good when things in our life are not.

    With my first wife I used it as a way to feel something, anything, because I was lonely. I was starved of affection, touch, intimacy, and just feeling wanted. I could surf the internet for hours, my mind completely off my lack of partner, my loneliness, work problems, and was free to just enjoy the high of being excited. Of course it ended in orgasm which felt nice, but really I escaped reality for the time I was playing until I spilled.

    It could also be a habit, when I was younger I would do it as soon as I woke up because I knew it would get me out of bed as soon as it was over. Eventually it led to me doing it in the morning, and later in the day or evening once I figured out if my partner was definitely not in the mood which was almost all the time.

    Addiction? I don’t think so, because for me, if my partner would have shown the smallest interest in me as a sexual person, I wouldn’t have been doing it at all. If I was truly addicted, I would be doing it regardless.

    Do I miss cumming that amount, yes, but I wouldn’t trade all the love and affection I receive now for the ability to make myself cum whenever I want. If it was a compulsive or addictive, wouldn’t I be doing everything possible to jerk off all the time?
     
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  25. Junebug15
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    Junebug15 Long term member

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