Male’s chastity going into mainstrea? At las;)t

Lovehoney is a pretty mainstream website, and they do have chastity devices. However, I would argue that unless it is physically in a shop, that draws in customers for more vanilla lingerie or toys, on a main High St or a Shopping Mall next to regular shops, then it hasn't gone mainstream yet, because it doesn't allow for a chance find when not expecting it. The "Ooh! What's that" factor.

 

Does anybody mainstream actually buy sex toys over the counter?

 

Maybe not, buy they still go and "Ooh" in Ann Summers

 

Did chastity see a big spike? Yes. Does that mean it’s mainstream now? No. What happened? The internet.

Im going to be the old guy for a second and bring you back to the days of magazines, vhs porn movies, and erotic stories. If you wanted to buy a sex toy, you would look for an ad in the back of a girlie magazine, send them money, and receive it in the mail after processing. Kinky stuff? Well you would have to buy a kinky type of magazine and look through there. Most gas stations had a small variety of playboy, penthouse, hustler, and maybe a few off brands but I’ve never seen any bdsm ones although I’m sure they existed in big cities.

The point being, the internet came and allowed everyone to look up stuff they had only thought of before. Perhaps they have a general interest and one subject bleeds into another. Anyone who has ever did any porn searching can attest to how far down the rabbit hole you can go without really trying. 3some steers you one way, then swapping, cuckolding, female domination, and bam…a chastity device. As technology gets better, so does the availability of porn, toys, and new ideas.

Did someone look at the numbers on search engines and porn sites and realize there was a market for chastity devices? Absolutely. Amazon didn’t start carrying them because they wanted to innovate the kink world, they did it because they saw enough people searched for it that they knew they could sell them. It happened with all sorts of toys and kinks. It doesn’t mean it will be or is mainstream enough to openly discuss or admit to it. Whips, paddles, and restraints are readily available online, but doubt many couples openly talk about owning or using them…it’s private.

They just started selling vibes in chain stores, and it’s still marketed and sold as a “massager”. That is as mainstream as it gets as far as sex. Sex and the city, the rabbit, cultural things do happen to make people feel better about owning that stuff but in the end it’s still sexual, and sexual stuff isn’t that mainstream. Heck, ever sit and watch the entrance to a Victoria secret? Guys walking by over and over trying to get the courage to walk in and look for a sexy outfit.

As long as people keep searching for, and looking at chastity devices, they will be more and more available. The only thing I could ever see that changes it from online only to mainstream, is a cultural phenomenon. A celebrity, an icon, a larger than life personality, admitting that they have their partner wear one. Awhile ago I thought Oprah had the following to pull it off, Angelina Jolie maybe, Jennifer Aniston could possibly now. But barring some cultural phenomena, it’s still kink and kink is still naughty.

 

Okay if this is becoming mainstream. Let's see a show of hands of how many of us openly discuss being locked in chastity while having a few beers with our buddies at our favorite drinking establishment. The conversation goes something like this. Hey have any of you guys seen the new HTV4 chastity device. Especially the nub or small version. Nope I just don't think that going to happen. I know I'm not going there.

 

It's a good point. However, how many people discuss any kink with buddies in the bar?

 

Very much agreed that the internet makes it easy to think that your own thing is becoming more of a common thing. If there are, say, a billion people actively online using English-language sites (a total guess), there could be a hundreds of thousands of people into a particular thing and it's still a statistical blip. But if you are finding communities with huge traffic, if feels like everyone is into that thing - whether it's a kink, or a hobby, a political cause, or a favorite TV show (e.g. "How could they cancel that TV show? I know tons of people who are into it!")

On the spike in 2009, just to repeat what I noted above, it had nothing to do with orgasm denial. If you dig into the statistics that spike was in the couple of days after Chastity Bono announced gender transitioning to become Chaz Bono. This was six years before Caitlyn Jenner, and as far as I remember was the first very prominent gender transition that made a huge splash in the mainstream media.

Last, on vibrators in chain stores. My local CVS has them - they're on a top shelf so less likely to prompt uncomfortable questions from kiddos, but otherwise just in the normal aisle (next to the condoms). Anyway, one day I was there and I saw that there was a "buy one, get one half off" on those. I'm sure there's just some mindless algorithm the store uses to generate those sale prices (I stock up on TP every time the sale prices roll around to that). But I just stood there in the aisle laughing. I mean, who sets out to CVS saying "I want to go buy two vibrators today!"?

subbnh

 

"As the item is not-returnable pick one HT set and another HT small at a half-price to get the best size. You can share a spare set with a friend too".
Perhaps it's a fiction, but in my country 10 years ago it was impossible to buy durex penis rings or different kinds of vibrators for women available just off shelf in net drugstores. Thus, I wonder what might be sold off shelf in these shops in 2031...

 

Until the concept of a mans orgasm being secondary to a females becomes the norm (or at least talked about more openly), the sale of devices designed to restrict access to a penis will likely be confined to a very small subset of people.

I listen to "sex with emily" podcasts from time to time, she is very good at discussing all manner or sex related topics, but only once (that I have found so far) has she engaged in a discussion about chastity and that was as much to her talking with a pro domme and what the domme did as it was to do with chastity and orgasm denial.

I agree on both points about discussing chastity with your mates down at the pub. I can't imagine too many partners being thrilled at the concept that their sex lives are openly talked about with their mates in intimate detail so the concept of discussing which device you found most comfortable is even less likely to occur, even if it was a social norm.

 

^ Agree with all of this, but looking at the other posts I think perhaps we should clarify what is meant by "mainstream". As already noted above, discussing intimate bedroom details with strangers, Friends, or at the bar is not something most people do. But this doesn't mean its not "mainstream". I would argue normal sex is certainly mainstream. It, and its implications, surround us in society every day. Its an enormous part of the plot-line for movies, books, historical tales, etc and the butt of so many jokes. But it still (usually) isn't a topic to be discussed openly, especially in family settings, for good reason.

To me, mainstream means something is "normalized", it is accepted and known to the vast majority of people, even if its not something they do personally. I think this fits with the word's definition when used as an adjective. So for me, I don't consider the given topic being discussed (or sold) openly in all settings to be a pre-requisite for it being mainstream. But I totally understand if others interpret differently.

By that definition I would say male chastity is certainly not mainstream - but perhaps it is getting there. Also by this metric I would say if it regularly appeared in pop culture, was known "to be a thing" by most people, and was generally accepted by everyone (i.e. not considered weird) then male chastity would be mainstream. Any maybe it will be one day.

Note this is very different from the fantasy of it being central to society and part of every relationship so its just regularly talked about in day to day. I think that is just that - a fantasy - for the reasons everyone has pointed out above. If we're not there with vanilla sex then I doubt chastity will ever get there.

 

Can I suggest the Giles English Scale of Mainstream Chastity?

1. "Obscure": nobody has heard of it - where we were in 1970.
   
2. "Boutique": Specialist makers will sell you a device - where we were in 1990.
   
3. "Dungeon": A known option in the BDSM Scene.
   
4. "Niche": Mainstream online sex toy retailers stock them.
5. "Discoverable": Appears in mainstream media as item or interest, or fictional device. Stocked by in-store by sex toy chains.
   
6. "Genital Piercings" (as unremarkable as).
   
7. "Furry Handcuffs" (as unremarkable as).
8. "Vibrator" (as unremarkable as).
9. "Queer" (as unremarkable as being)
   
10. "Integrated": Totally normalised. Some people are chaste, and that's just a dating option. Likely to only happen in the context of other social change.

I think we're in Early "Discoverable". Once we get to "Genital Piercings", further progress is likely to be tied to society becoming more open in general.

What do you think?

 

GESMC does have a certain ring to it
ORGESMC would be better or NORGESMC The "No Orgasm or Ruin Giles English Scale of Mainstream Chastity"

Pronounced "Norgasmic"

It could be the start of a movement! Restricted of course.

 

Interesting scale. I would probably switch genital piercings and discoverable - I would think a lot more people would casually visit a sex toy store, even if just out of curiosity or for laughs, than would actually get a genital piercing. The front part of my local sex toy store is all about gag gifts for bachelor and bachelorette parties - I'm sure they get a lot of business from pretty vanilla people who then might curiously peek at some of the things towards the back half of the store, even if just in the sense of "can you believe people would buy this?" I suspect most of those people who might go in a sex toy store on a lark would never let someone get near there genitals with a piercing needle,

Back on the topic, last week's episode of Last Week Tonight had a long segment on ransomware, mentioning among other things the hacked remote chastity cage episode from last winter, then going into even more detail on remote controlled butt plugs. They then went into other ransomware topics like the cyberattack on that oil pipeline earlier this year, but then ending the episode with a fake PSA commercial about online security that heavily featured the butt plug story. This video, starting at the 10 minute mark and then again at the 21 minute mark:

 

I like it, and concur that we are in the "discoverable" stage a you define it.

Thanks for linking to the John Oliver video I would have laughed more if ransomware hadn't become such a real problem. The cellmate hack, though maybe not the coverage we want, I think was a stepping stone for male chastity because it was indicative of known problems with IoT security that are now receiving a lot of mainstream attention.
And I saw discussed in a lot of places in that IoT security context, rather than as something weird/sexual. Even came up in some serious discussions at my work. So certainly an intrusion into mainstream.

 

Hmm. I was thinking in terms of awareness, as in if somebody you know has a genital piercing, that's probably still less weird than "wears a chastity device". Also people know what a genital piercing is, so that's past the discoverable phase.

Where do you think "nipple piercings" would go on the scale?

 

I think the scale is about right, and genital piercings/discoverable are in the right order.

I'm wondering if there's something that can go in place of "fuzzy handcuffs" because I see those and vibrators on the exact same level (or maybe go between vibrators as 7 and queer as 9)

 

If you accidentally found somebody's vibrator - opened the wrong drawer, or it you saw it on the night stand on your way to use the en suite at a party - the vibe would be "oops didn't mean to see that". It doesn't tell you anything about the person. It's private, not A Secret.

However, I think @subbnh69 is right about piercings. On reflection, piercings have a certain level of squick for normal people.

How about this?

Fetish Phase

1. "Obscure": Nobody has heard of it - where we were in 1980.
2. "Boutique": Specialist makers will sell you a device - where we were in 1990.
3. "Dungeon": A known option in the BDSM Scene.

Sex Toy Phase

4. "Discoverable": Mainstream online sex toy retailers stock them. Appears in mainstream media as item or interest, or fictional device. Stocked by in-store by sex toy chains.
5. "Furry Handcuffs": Mainstream people know what they are. Having one is a "naughty secret", and a sign of an adventurous sex life. Edgy pop stars might pose with one.
6. "Vibrator": Private, of prurient interest, but not remarkable. If your lover has one and wants to use it in bed, it's not shocking.

Normalisation Phase

7. "Intimate Piercings": A private but not shocking part of somebody's sexual identity, something you might discover during the early stages of intimacy without feeling it's a bait and switch. Requires chastity to go viral, perhaps through featuring in a mainstream TV show. The main threat to this is people doing stupid irresponsible stuff, or being exhibitionists.
8. "Queer": If not recognised as Queer, certainly queer-adjacent. Some people are chaste or semi-chaste or whatever. There are issues with prejudice, so chastes may still prefer to fly under the radar. However, we are officially tolerated in most developed countries, e.g. we get through security checks with no issues, and being "caught" wearing one at work isn't an issue. We can get to this stage: when BDSM does; or if chastity devices become part of a gender expression; or if some women start insisting on them as part of courtship; or if they become common in the gay community, and that bleeds over into the straight one.
9."Utopia": Chaste folk are open about it, and that's just a dating option. Only remotely possible in the context of full LGBT+ liberation.

Looking back up at the list, I doubt very much we'll get out of the sex toy phase.

 

I would add finsl phase #10 as our goal for the nearby future):

10. „Female run state”: Men are chaste as default since 16yrs birthday...[/QUOTE]

Hahaha. No.

I was trying for something realistic!

 

I was about to say... This post took a bit of a turn. Much as I think our ladies would do a better job of running the world, imagining a Female Led Utopia with all males chaste is wank fodder, some of it greatly arousing, but fantasy nonetheless. If women ran the world, they would change it with kindness, love and leading by example, not with enforcement.

 

Hahaha. No.

I was trying for something realistic![/QUOTE]

You did start it though Giles. Lol

 

You did start it though Giles. Lol[/QUOTE]

I think my road map is realistic, but I doubt chastity will get any further than the vibrator stage.

 

i like what you have say on here and it true as well but sometimes Ladies do get angry and shout.