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Maby first time as a cuck. need advice.

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by Musher, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. my Wife is at a party today. im home with the kids.

    i sad she was free to fuck someone if she wanted. but now im not shur if i i want to. and are afreid to ruin my marige.

    shoud i take back the offer/ and is it okey to?

    you can send me pm ass well or chat ass well!
    Val and Mash2214 like this.
  2. You need to have a serious chat with her about it before she actually does anything .
    Maybe she is just teasing you and testing your reaction by just saying the words .

    If either party is not sure or not happy with it then it shouldn't happen .

    The fantasy is different from the reality of this and unlike other kinks in this lifestyle it can't be taken back after it has happened once and can seriously affect a relationship .

    Hope it all works out for you and she was just teasing you and testing your reaction but yes in the meantime communicate with her (text etc) that your not comfortable with it and want to chat with her about it before she does anything .
    gary170, Val, Mash2214 and 2 others like this.
  3. i feel like i need to stop her. but. i dont know if this is a feeling thats commen the first time. i will for shur text her befor she does anyting and ask her not too do enything befor we dave had a new chat on it.

    its not easy this kink and lifstyle whit the lock and mixed imotions.

    last nigth she went out whit ben wa balls in her pussy. and had the same free card. she almoest ask this guy to tack them out of her. but agein i dont know if she is thesting me.

    She havent been in to cockolding befor and now this change. and say see dont plan on it but if a cute guy comes along and turn her on then maby...

    anyway thanks @manintyres@manintyres
  4. Indeed dear @Musher@Musher please do not stay in agony, try to contact your wife and tell her like it is: that you have second thoughts and that before the two of you both seriously discuss pro's and con's and what you both expect of this important step that you prefer her not take up the freedom you gave her...

    Since you already gave her this freedom to fuck anyone...I would certainly also apologize.

    good luck to both of you!
    Val likes this.
  5. ?

    Call her man! Ask whether she can speak freely of ask her to call you back in case she cannot speak freely
    manintyres likes this.
  6. sorry for late reply. had som stuff to do at home (washing the house.)

    Well i texted her, and told her that i was no longer okey with it. and apologize.

    When she got back to me she sad that she had noticed that i was not okey with it any more today. and she alredy pould the plug. she wasent eveng going to ack like she met some one.

    So she got it befor i told her. its nice to know she knows me this well and can tell when not to push forward.

    I have to say thank you to you guys. That is what i love with this place. when you need it you get good advice from pepol who has been ther and know what really is rigth.

    how ever i think maby its the best to find a exspeiensed bull who knows how inportent the first time is and for shure stops when he is told. and leads you in to it in safe invierments.
    JiL and Mark Owen like this.
  7. I did that for a year and lost my girlfriend to one of the guys she was having sex with. Not one of the ones she told me about, but one of my friends. As she put it, since she could have sex with other men, normally the big sin, so that not telling was just not telling. Not a big sin at all.

    When I got married I tried it with my wife. She hated and never wanted to do it again. She still remembers it 40 years later and I wish I could take it back. My wife started having sex with girls after that. Intercourse ended for me and she was not that interested in men anymore. The one time left her bruised and feeling used by me.

    Try to find couples with long marriages who have been into cuckolding for a long time. They are as rare as hen's teeth. Every couple we knew who allowed sex with others in all sorts of arrangements, got divorced when one or both ran off with a lover. I cuckolded a few husbands, one for 25 years. The only one who did not divorce her husband for a man who loved her enough to not want to share her rather than want her to have sex with others, not for her pleasure as she said but to satisfy his fetish. Even the one still married asked 3 times if she could live with me and my wife if she left her husband.

    Sex releases the hormone Oxytocin which emotionally bonds a couple together. That leads to love and when emotions come into play, people make wrong choices no matter your rules or how strong you think your marriage is. If it were strong you would not have do what you are doing. Cuckolding is not strengthening trust, it is stretching it until it breaks. Sooner or later if you kiss enough frogs, you will find your prince. It can get very messed up when arguments happen or she resents you for needing her to satisfy your fetish by giving herself to strange men. It is not like you see in porn. There is usually kissing and passion involved. That was the case with me. Good luck because you have the odds against your marriage.
    Allan1517 and Val like this.
  8. thanx @Vinny@Vinny. i really wantet to have a long chat with you. i see you as one of the pepol that has been ther and done that. i se and valu you points.

    i will realy apritiate if you sendt me a PM so we can chat a bit!
  9. My first BDSM Mistress started seeing another submissive and I'd never heard of cuckolding. Not knowing about it and there was no information on the internet. So when I got jealous that she wasn't spending enough time with me I didn't know how to handle it. It ruined our relationship and I ended things. And it was ugly.

    Fast forward to my most recent relationship and we had many long frank discussions. This allowed us to try MMF threesome and her taking a female lover. Her lovers husband was our lover. It was great. Unfortunately other problems caused the end.

    So now I'm just starting to start dating again, but I'm looking for a Domme who will cuckold me. But unlike many it won't be the main thing I'm looking for. Attraction, common interests, mutual respect and a good relationship are the primary things I'm looking for.
    Mash2214 likes this.
  10. I'm glad that it all ended well and nothing happened .

    However you then say that you want an experienced bull to guide you ??
    Surely this experience has shown you that you are not comfortable with it .

    From what I have seen in your postings on this thread you not comfortable with it and if another time is arranged then you will go through the same feeling and emotions like you have this time .

    Who's idea is it for cuckold ?

    If it's yours then my advice is to forget about it and leave it as a fantasy and maybe play games with your wife where she talks about "imaginary situations" which you know are imaginary but she can spice the story up .

    If it's your wife's then you need to have a long chat with her and be brutally honest about your feelings and fears .

    It's a common misconception that the sub (be they male or female) has to mindlessly go along with what the dominant wants to do .

    It's OK to voice your feelings and concerns and if you not happy with anything then it shouldn't happen .

    The most successful "cuck relationships" are the ones when both parties are confident and happy with the arrangement .
    Unfortunately others were not successful because of mainly the male partner not being happy or jealously and resentment set in OR the lady left because she felt like she was being pressurised into it to please her man .

    I'm waffling now but please have a long chat and have an open frank and honest discussion on with your wife and if either of you are uncomfortable with it then don't pursue this in reality any further .
  11. Couldn't agree more.

    With my wife and I it is a fantasy (mine..) and we sometimes play this fantasy: only not with real "bulls" (I hate that name) but we have given our strap ons a name and since we do not have penetration with my dick anymore, it is fun to let her chose the one that she wants to have her penetrated. We have a 5 inch (referred to as my dick) and a 6 and 7 inch with other names...

    For us it works, and really, although her being taken by another man is my fantasy, I fear it so much to become reality and she knows that and also has no need for another man.

    So I'm a happy 'play' cuckold and at this moment we are not ready to take it to the reality step..

    Just my thoughts on this possible land mine for your relation.

    I wish you luck and the right decision for both of you.
  12. I agree with @manintyres@manintyres cuckolding is very dangerous ground to cross. It's a path my Mistress and I Don't go down.
    sissybitch and manintyres like this.
  13. I think your wife should be allowed to cuckhold you until you can learn to use autocorrect ;-)
    Jasmic68, slavette and Val like this.
  14. English probably isn't their first, and maybe not second language. :)
  15. And add my spelling dissorder and you are ther!
  16. Joroincharge

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
    Staff Member Moderator

    Mar 10, 2009
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    Mod note: Autocorrect might have helped you too. First time I have seen the spelling 'cuckhold'.

    But at CM we are usually tolerant of typos, especially as many members do not have English as their mother tongue, and we do not encourage posts in other languages.
    slave_m and Mistress Lucy like this.
  17. Well that was my autocorrect.....
  18. Mistress & I have discussed it and both agree that introducing a real life third person to our relationship, especially in a sexual way, is just to risky to ever do in real life. But, that's just our opinion!
    Val, sissybitch and manintyres like this.
  19. Hello @Musher@Musher cuckolding is not something my Mistress and I are interested in but I do think you really need to think more about this, you have already experienced some doubt , and probably will again even if this is approached in another way with a bull and prearrangement , A few years ago I had a good friend and work colleague who along with his then wife went down the path of cuckolding , What started out as their new and exciting fantasy became reality and ultimately ended badly , it cost my good friend his wife and relationship along with his home and job . I understand it can work for some ,but for most I think ends badly and at best puts a large strain on a relationship , A nice and exciting fantasy for those into it but for the most part best left as that a fantasy , Reality can sometimes hit us harder than we are prepared for or can handle
  20. First off, it's your right to remove your consent at any time. That's sooo important.

    I'll say this, letting my girl cuck me has done WONDERS for our relationship. She's been more more inclined to lock me up when she doesn't need me for sex, etc., but the open communication that's come with it, and the feelings of compersion I've enjoyed nearly daily, are AWESOME. I'm genuinely happy for her every time she gets a new partner and tells me about it. You both need to have a serious chat, but be open to the possibility that the things you've learned about "infidelity" are inaccurate
    Metalman and Val like this.
  21. I really like your post. My wife having sex with other guy, and in our case, even romantic feelings, has done wonders for our relationship.

    Of course like everyone, I think the OP should not get into Cuckolding at this point. One need to feel clear, and although a little bit of jealousy is normal, you should feel mostly excited.

    For all the other reactions... Is cuckolding a bad idea? Or more generally, is sex outside of the relationship a bad idea?

    What is important to consider is that 50% of couples (and I'm generous) will eventually divorce. And probably half of those who won't have a dysfunctional relationship all the same.

    Having sex with people outside your couple will bring up all those dysfunctions. If there are few and little you fix them on the fly, and your couple gets stronger and happier. If there are many and big, everything will blows up.
  22. You should stop it right away if you can. Some things are best left as fantasy.
    Musher likes this.
  23. My advice is to not do it. It seems that this was your idea, not hers. You asked the question 'should I do it?' While I realise you have issues with spelling the question was clear, your wife having sex with another man felt like something you were doing. This is completely back to front. If it was her fantasy and she wanted to make you a cuckold, then that would be one thing, but for her to fulfill a shaky fantasy of yours just isn't a good idea.
    Musher likes this.
  24. Well i put a stop to it back den. The day aften We adressed it and IT went back on the list Of things We want to try. But We are not reddy for IT. And may or may not ever be. And we will for shure not phush it!!
  25. Never ever do something you're not ready for. Having concerns and being nervous about new things is normal. But if you know you're not ready for something you should be mature enough and secure enough to accept that. In other words listen to your gut.

    If you read my opinions on this topic, I find it very hot to watch a partner with someone else. But rarely have I mentioned that my first experience was a horrible fail. I'll bring it up when it's relevant, like now. I'll tell you that it's hard, etc. but the reality is you and yours need to be comfortable doing things that will make your life better not worse.

    So do things you fantasize about but only if you are ready. I can tell you many that I've done are actually hotter in real life than as fantasies.
    JiL likes this.