Luxury problems...

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by ray-69, Jul 31, 2020.

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  1. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    My wife just texted me to put on the cage till sunday evening..
    Didnt cum 4 2 weeks now
    Will be interesting
    And i can have 1 ruined o today
    Smile
     
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  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Good luck
     
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  3. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Sorry my post yesterday was rather unfinished cause i was texting at the same time with my wife (she has some wellness days) - or now part time KH :)

    the luxury problem i meant is if she allows me to often to get a ruined O?
    As i described earlier we have decided to reduce my Os from about 4-6/month to 1.
    At the moment she is ok if i have a ruined O about 3 times a week. I wonder if this is to often.
    I would also be very interested on the opinion of some female KHs here if there are any female readers in this section?
    Tx
    Ray69
     
  4. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    Does she give the ruined O or do you give it to yourself. Just my opinion unless your KH gives it to you you don't deserve it.
     
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  5. Gabb-tv
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    Gabb-tv happy sissy sub :)

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    at least, the KH should know & approve of the ruined O, & even maybe watch it ^^
     
  6. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Would probably skip ruined ones all together. better for you and her, if you stick to one orgasm per month
     
  7. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    She either does it by hand or orders me to do it anyway she tells me, mostly watched by her.
     
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  8. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Do you meet with your KH'er? This sounds like an online thing.
     
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  9. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Lol Yes, i meet her, she‘s my wife and lives in my house since 15years :)
    She is only away now for some wellness days.
     
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  10. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    My suggestion is to let your Wife lead the way and do as She desires. If She wants you to have ruineds, then enjoy them as best you can.

    If She will entertain your suggestions, you might tell Her that from your perspective, the ruineds are changing your agreed-to ratio, and that you're open to Her being more restrictive, if She desires it. But be happy with what She decides.

    There is a fine line between giving suggestions and topping from the bottom, but if you can find that line, it can be helpful to both parties. It's a way of expressing ongoing consent of Her dominance and your submission.

    asa
     
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  11. remyruff
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    remyruff Long time member

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    During 2 decades of working through what works and what doesn't on my path through chastity land I found that ruined O's reset my mind almost if not worse then a full O.
    For one I feel the same sub drop that can last for days.
    This being a completely involuntary hormonal response, on a psychological level I feel de-railed, I crave having the submissive feelings that come only through orgasm denial, not the chastity device, so going back to locking up right afterwards will make me crave more orgasms rather then more submission that would have been if I would have stayed denied.
    I hope this makes sense.
    My KH.wife is very sexual and sensual, it took her a long time to adopt this stance, she is now firmly on board to keeping me denied indefinitely and I support it whole heartedly.
    This is very important for us because I could give myself ruined O's in chastity and so did she frequently in the past, and we loved it, but the outcome was always the same, worse attitude on my part because we could not progress on remapping my brain to be a better human, husband, and submissive. It is something I strive for to reward her efforts in being a fantastic KH Wife and incredible tease.
    She now learned it's ALL ABOUT T&D.
     
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  12. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Thank you all for your input and considerations. Everyone of us is different and seems to feel different after a ruined O. In my case under ideal circumstances, after a ideal ruined one, i feel more submissive and more horny than before, so one could actually go ahead with that forever. We tried it once for some 6 weeks in this direction and this was a great time, she had Os without end..
    But i have to admit that it can be a setback when one of the ruined „fails“ and ends something between halfruined and not already O. That can be annoying for sure.
     
  13. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    3 times a week too often?
    That's more often than most average vanilla couples have sex, they'd be jealous of how often you cum in chastity! :rolleyes:

    When discussing with her you really want to frame it as "NO MORE THAN one orgasm per month" (or however many) rather than being very prescriptive. Then it gives her room to decide exactly how often she lets you have that privilege. A little uncertainty adds to the dynamic, and allows hr to push your limits.
    Of course as always, be careful what you wish for.
     
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  14. madams-sissysub
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    Good luck on your journey!
     
  15. Kylara
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    Kylara Active member

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    I pass from once a week to once every 3 weeks of ruined and had only ruined orgasm in 3 years.
    3 time a week is not really chastity, you have not the benefit of hormones going into you.
    And if you wife want sex do it with Lidocaine (and a condom) you preserve chastity and have you wife happy with a PIV
     
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  16. herboi
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    herboi Member

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    i do enjoy her reaction when she has me self ruin a cum when supervised masturbating
     
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  17. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    I phrased that wrong - I should have said:
    "It gives her room to decide exactly how infrequently she lets you have that priviledge"!

    It illustrates just how difficult it can sometimes be to get in the right mindset - you think you are, but it's the little subtllties that make it.
     
  18. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    42 weeks is a pretty respectable stretch of time.
     
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  19. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Yes it would have been :)
    But its wrong because i typed fast and used 4 instead of „for“, so its actually for 2 weeks.
     
  20. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Hi
    Just a short update on our situation:
    We talked yesterday and my Ms will see and decide if she allows me a maximum of 1 ruined O per week, and 1 full release per month would still be her plan. I think we could be on a good path now. Had some great time btw after we talked :)
    Cheers
    ray69
     
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  21. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    When I was locked, I was suppose to be released for an O on day 14. That stretched out to day 28, now if I got all the storm damage cleaned up by today at 12 noon, I was to be unlocked. I was finished at 10am today and we are at day 35.

    last night she asked me to lay down on the bed and cuffed me in place. This is an indication some real teasing would start, but she had other plans. She came in with my cage bag and a bag of ice. She unlocked and released me and as soon as the ring was removed, iced me down. Next came out the Bon4M ring and the micro, she got it on real quick. I knew I was in trouble immediately and the deal was sealed when the lock snapped shut.

    She was hoping for a nice weekend outside at our pool and when she can, I will be released for relief and playing. This evening it’s suppose to rain, the same for tomorrow, I only hope is Sunday. I have already been told my fun doesn’t start until she can enjoy the day at the pool and weekdays don’t count. So I will remain locked until at least days 37 or out as far as day 42. Almost feels like lent again.
     
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