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Love and Denial - Year 2

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Jasmic68, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. Elle continues to make a recovery from the pressure she had been under for over a year. Even as her closest companion, friend, lover, husband, I had no idea how much that pressure was affecting her. On the surface she had been coping better than I had but when the pressure was released it was absolutely obvious how amazing she had been at keeping things under control. She is an incredible woman.

    The first thing that happened was an increase in the levels of non-sexual intimacy she wanted. The sorts of things we do that include me applying facemasks, foot soaks and massages, reading to her and so on. Every single night last week I pampered her in one way or another, spending hours each evening with no other distractions. Then the sensual intimacy increased. The teasing that had all but stopped came back with a vengeance. all of a sudden she rediscovered how much she likes giving my nipples a good tweak just before sending me to bed, and other such fun that is designed specifically to turn me on at the worst possible moment. (For me, not for her, she loves sending me away knowing I am fully aroused, knowing that I will be thinking about her and what she has done as she falls asleep.)

    The sexual aspect had returned the week before but this weekend it came back with a vengeance. She proved the chastity theme that a man who demands no sex but allows his Wife a space in which to control sexual decisions could end up having far more sex than he would have otherwise. Without going in to all the gory details, mixed in with the rest of our weekend Elle had a lot of fun. On Friday she actually told me to lick her bottom for the very first time. Until that moment she had either made it clear she was open to it, hinted at it or asked me if I wanted to. Being told to do it took this activity to a whole new level that I hadn't expected but loved. (Her) Orgasm of the year number 31 followed.

    On Saturday I was released from my HTv2 so we could go swimming. Throughout the day we spent time together doing all the things that really turn her on, such as gardening and making the house a happy, clean, comfortable environment. (I kid you not, I may have written before about how one way I can guarantee to be looked upon favourably is to get involved with the gardening. She knows I am not fond of it as an activity and yet I join in willingly and happily when it is done together. This always seems to make her so happy with me things develop into a more sensual/sexual activity later on, especially as the gardening leaves us needing a shower to get clean again.) Elle delighted me by telling me she wanted a Yoni Massage. Just as with her instruction for me to lick her bottom, the shift from I wouldn't mind a Yoni Massage to would you like to give me a Yoni massage and then to I want a Yoni massage has been gradual. The fact that she is now happy to almost demand, or to expect that I will be happy to do as she requests is so subtle and yet so powerful. Orgasm of the year 32 followed.

    And then the issue occurred. Before I gave Elle the Yoni massage she had let me read a chapter of her sexually explicit book to her, a chapter that included a very hot sex scene. Throughout this I was erect, aroused and struggling to keep my desire in check. Then she told me it was time for me to fulfil her fantasies. Fantasies? I asked, noticing the plural. Well, she said, we will start with the Yoni. The implication of the word 'start' was not lost on me. I was erect and aroused for the entire massage, struggling to focus on the fact that a Yoni giver expects no reciprocation.

    Almost as soon as she had come down from her orgasm she told me she wanted me to make love to her, and I was allowed to cum. Having had an erection for who knows how long I almost immediately started going soft. Arghhhh! No! Nonononono! Quick, where are the penis rings, if I get them on quick enough....

    Nope. Damn stupid penis goes soft and resolutely defies any attempt from either of us to make it hard again. Play is abandoned, both of us happy with the Yoni massage (one of the best I have ever given, building on the experience we have gained recently) and both of us disappointed by the lack of my orgasm. Disappointed? I was distraught! Elle has talked about pushing me for a longer period of denial and here she is letting me have an orgasm and my damn penis intervenes.

    I know what happened though, not that that helps. My body thought I had had an orgasm when Elle did during the Yoni massage. It was intense, feeling her muscles ripple around my finger, watching her body convulse with the waves of pleasure she was experiencing. I felt so close to having an orgasm myself, I knew if she told me to even start masturbating right then it would take just two or three strokes to push me over the edge. The delay however was enough to let me down from the precipice and once down my head got scared of heights and wasn't interested in going back up again.

    On Sunday Evening, after a day of normal life stuff, we shared yet another sensual shower, one of the most incredible we have had in recent times, and then Elle instructed me to do the ironing wearing nothing but my device. While I did so she sat on the sofa having a beer while we listened to a podcast of an interview with a member of the mansion. @AliceInBondageLand@AliceInBondageLand was talking to The Pageist about FLR. Link - http://thepageist.com/2017/03/02/episode-046-aliceinbondageland-and-flr/

    We stopped the interview several times to discuss the points raised. It was really interesting and a great opportunity to discuss what we are doing. Elle assured me that although I am coaching her with regards to what a woman in charge of an FLR can be, I am not doing it in a way that is pushing her in any one direction that meets a narrow definition that suits my desires. I am letting her find her own way, my coaching is more me telling her that I both want and like her being in charge, and the things she is doing are OK. I absolutely love doing things for her. I love the opportunity to find those things for myself, and I love it when she tells me what to do. She is gentle with her requests, they are always accompanied with a please and followed with gratitude, but the expectation is if she asks I do.

    Sunday finished with me reading to Elle a chapter of our current book followed by about two minutes of incredible teasing before being packed off to bed. Elle giggled when she saw my penis pulsing in its device, a visual indicator of the affect she has on me.
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  2. It has been a difficult few weeks due to illness. I caught the flu and boy, was it a doozy. An entire weekend lost while Elle told me to stay in my bed. Then a second weekend where although I was better I still wasn't up to much. Although the phrase Man Flu could be used to describe a male who is ill and sometimes legitimately, I would never have turned down that much play time voluntarily!

    So, another update for what has been happening either side of the illness.

    Elle decided to give me a weekend of making all the decisions regarding what we did with our lives, both with regards the fun bedroom stuff but also in the more usual mundane stuff. I made sure that she got to do all the things that she likes, took her out for a lunch on the Saturday and a breakfast on the Sunday. Germans love to Frühstuck at the weekend and we love to join in, there is nothing quite like a German Breakfast buffet. Full English? A Full German is also a good thing.

    On the Friday Evening I chose to give Elle a Yoni Massage. I could have chosen anything but I decided to split the weekend into two themes. One was me doing things to her, the other was her doing things to me. The Yoni was a successful evening that included a bath for her and a full massage to get her into the mood. Mood setting for a Yoni Massage is as important as the Yoni massage itself.

    The Saturday took a bit more arranging and discussion to get ready. When we listened to the podcast by Aliceinbondageland she had talked about Desire smuggling, where one of the partners isn't open and honest about what they desire but uses several different tactics to try and get what they want. We discussed how the chastity thing we have started has made this easier for Elle, she is much more able to tell me what she wants than she had ever been before. We also discussed how conversely I now find this harder. I do not want to be seen to be influencing her in any way, fearful of the ever controversial topping from the bottom.

    Elle told me that I needed to tell her what my plans were or she wouldn't have a clue what I wanted, and to stop being silly. I told her how much I enjoyed it when she took control and teased me, and how during our recent issues this part of our arrangement had virtually ceased. The main thing I enjoyed is how much she got off on it, her enjoyment of my reaction to her teasing. I was trying to explain that I wanted her to have fun doing what she wanted, not what I wanted. I knew no matter what she did I would enjoy it, so that way we both got what we wanted.

    The funny thing was I was also going to do something else that the podcast discussed, and that was to teach Elle how to 'hurt' me. Not in a really bad pain junkie type of way, but in a how I used to do things to myself back when I was allowed to masturbate. So, for instance, I bought an unscented and colour free candle. I was also going to demonstrate how she could use a boot lace to tie up and divide my testicles. Neither were used.

    To start things we had a shower where Elle really got into her dominant persona, the we got out our entire box of toys and... well, Elle displayed how much she enjoys this control thing and took over.

    I was made to lie on the bed where she thoroughly blindfolded me, strapped me down using her restraint system and she went to town. Massage oil, nipple clamps, breasts in my mouth, rubbing herself on my leg and lots of other teasing was used against me. She then got out her Lovehoney wand massager and started stimulating me with it. It was almost more than I could take, she took me to the edge of an orgasm several times but kept stopping at critical moments. I have no idea how long this went on but I know I was in a mess when she did finish.

    On the Sunday she let me give her a full body massage followed by an orally provided orgasm. It was an exquisite way to finish a weekend.

    When Elle had said that this was going to be my weekend I did sort of expect to be released from my Holy Trainer. That never happened. I remained locked up for the entire time. After everything had finished I said to Elle about this and she told me that I had never once asked to be released. I was in charge so it was up to me to decide whether or not I was caged.

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  3. The weekend after my illness I had to convince Elle that I was up to some play time as she was going to let me have another weekend to recover. I was desperate for that not to happen though, I have given up my own orgasms and need to have access to hers!

    This time Elle had released me from my Holy Trainer. Before we started playtime I asked her whether I should put on my Penis rings and some delay spray but she said we would wait and see how things developed. After I had given her a massage and then licked her bottom (obviously with her permission!) Elle turned over and asked me if I wanted to make love. I was so dismayed that Elle noticed the look on my face and asked me what the matter was. I immediately composed myself, knelt on the floor by the side of the bed, pulled her towards me and buried my face in her pussy.

    Elle didn't need to ask what I wanted again and melted into her enjoyment of what I was doing. After she had reached her climax and calmed down again we discussed what my issue from earlier had been. It all stemmed from the recent time she had let me lick her to an orgasm and then had told me that I was allowed to make love to her and that I was allowed an orgasm. No matter what we had tried my penis had remained limp and useless. As far as my brain was concerned we had just had an orgasm, when she had one, and we didn't need another. Penis rings had no effect. Elle had let me go to bed uncaged and when I left her room I had desperately tried to get it to go hard with absolutely no effect. If I had managed I would have run back in, no doubt to be told it was too late. At no time was I going to play with myself!

    I told Elle that when she had asked this time I had realised that I would need to find the penis rings and get them on and then spray myself and wait the ten to fifteen minutes for it to take effect. That would mean basically restarting what I had already done to her so I had decided to forego another chance at an orgasm for myself and stay true to our arrangement. We discussed how if I am uncaged there is nothing wrong with her telling me to put on the rings and delay spray as part of a tease, make me think I am going to get to make love but to then deny me, to change her mind. I can wear the rings while I pleasure her and then she can decide what she wants to do when the time arrives. Stopping the fun to get ready would ruin the flow. I think the fact that she actually had wanted me to make love to her made her see this as a really good idea so I would hope she will try this at a later date.