Looking to explore ..

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by chazz55512, Oct 31, 2009.

  1. chazz55512
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    chazz55512 Junior Member

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    Hi,
    I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm chazz, 42, and very new to chastity. I've been very sexual for most of my life, but also very shy in exploring publicly. My partner has always been dominant on the streets, but submissive in the sheets. I'm a bit of a switch so we made it work for a very long time. Unfortunate, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and they have totally shut down her sex drive (estrogen) is a very powerful hormone. I have found that my sex drive has diminished somewhat, but I yearn for control and being controlled. She would not understand this. I play online at times, but have no intention of cheating on the love of my life. It is difficult for both of us. I recently purchased a cb6000 without her knowledge. My intention is to wear it and hopefully she won't notice?? Am I neive? We are very rarely intimate anymore...Any suggestions?

    Chazz
     
  2. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    my best wishes to you, chazz, and i hope your partner makes a full recovery. i know this is hard on Y/you both. i think if you can keep your chastity private then it's okay, but i wouldn't suggest springing something like that on Her now while She is healing.
     
  3. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    1st and foremost....I'm keeping your wife in my thoughts. Here's hoping she makes a full recovery!!!

    2nd...I'm not sure about keeping it private from her. You know her best. What if she found out? Would she be hurt and upset that you kept something so intimate from her a secret? Or would she understand why you felt the need for chastity at this point in your life? I'm going to play devils advocate here and say that I don't think secrecy is good in a loving, trusting and respectful marriage. If she is the love of your life and the feeling is mutual, you should be able to share this with her. It's not all that big of a kink. Think your words through your head and then plead your case. Don't do it in the bedroom. She may surprise you with her reaction.

    All I'm saying is I'd be very hurt of my darling husband kept something like this hidden from me and then I found out. Hurt that he felt he couldn't share or talk about it with me. I'm his wife and his best friend.

    This is your life, and you know what's best in your relationship. I'm just giving my 2 cents worth.

    Off my soapbox now, because I want to :welcome: you to the Mansion. You'll love it here! Best of luck to you, Chaz!!
     
  4. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Hi chazz and welcome to the site (ditto on the recovery)and if you dont mind heres my 1/10 of a cents worth.I know several women who have or had breast cancer and got mixed reactions or feelings from them all as far as their problems (good and bad)and if it were me i dont think i would surprise her with chastity but maybe introduce it as a mutual healing process and you will put your needs aside and stay locked until she is ready ?? but i think you will get the best advice from the wonderful ladies here as we can have no idea how this must affect a women...best of luck to you both and a speedy recovery :chores004:
     
  5. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    :welcome: Chazz... I'm so sorry for your situation.

    I second most thoughts here, secrecy is NEVER a good idea.

    You have good reason to be indulging in a lot of communication time, given your situation she must be feeling very out of control of her body.

    Maybe settle down for a snuggle and a chat about how you are both struggling with the news and how it is affecting both of you. This could open up the floor to throw some "new" ideas about how to deal with the sexual aspects in your relationship right now.

    Best wishes, and let us know how it goes.
     
  6. AbiNormyl
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    AbiNormyl Junior Member

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    Good Day and Welcome.

    I understand what your wife might be going through. At 34 I had a complete hysterectomy which included my ovaries, it was bye bye hormones. Now, a year later I am not the same person sexually that I was before the surgery.

    I don't know about her, but for me there is already guilt by not feeling like sex as often as I used to want it. I have often thought that my husband was dissatisfied and simply wouldn't tell me. He says he isn't but I always have that niggling little doubt in the back of my head. if he went and bought one and told me that he is doing it so I didn't have to have the doubt then I would be happy; if he did it behind my back; i would be very upset.

    I don't know if this makes much sense or not but I am trying to help.

    Abi
     
  7. chazz55512
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    chazz55512 Junior Member

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    Thank you

    Thank you everyone...Definitely some new insights..

    Chazz
     
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