Looking to be a better partner.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Mandy Is My Keyholder, Jan 21, 2021.

  1. Mandy Is My Keyholder
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    Mandy Is My Keyholder New but eager.

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    I’m a newcomer to the chastity lifestyle. I’ve been wearing a few off the shelf devices for about 2 weeks for about 12 to 15 hours a day. I’ve found a metal one that fits OK, but it’s a little long and I’m not thrilled with having to piss sitting down. My biggest complaint is that I can’t really sleep in it due to twisting and pinching. I’ve ordered the sizing rings from Mature Metal and I plan on getting a custom fit Jail Bird so I can go full time once I have my measurements.

    So what brought me here? I’m sure like a lot of people here, I’ve watched porn where cuckolds and sissies would have their cocks locked up. I watched as they rode dildos or an actual cock and would be able to orgasm even while locked up in their cages. In my mind this was clearly fantasy and not something that could be put into practice in real life. So I never really gave it much thought after I closed my browser.

    What really brought me here was my wife (now my Keyholder). Our marriage hit a rough patch and she was not getting the love and attention she needed and deserved. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a great husband, a partner she can count on, we’ve raised two beautiful children, I’ve never shown her anything but love and respect, but her physical and emotional needs were not being satisfied. After many therapy sessions, some tears, and many hard and honest conversations we started to come back to each other and get back on track.

    The sex part was easy. We know each other and we know what the other person likes physically. But it was the emotional part of intimacy that I wanted to focus on more. I told her that she has always excited me. She walks into a room and can just give me a look and I’m ready. And sometimes she just wants to me to be a caveman and go all hot and heavy, but sometimes she needs more.

    While we were working on us, I was trying to find a way to be a better partner and lover she needed. That brought me here and a few other places online. It turns out that chastity exists outside of Pornhub (imagine that). It means something different to different people, but they each make it work for them. The one theme I saw over and over is that the chaste person became more loving and attentive. That focus became less about sex and orgasms (for the locked person at least) and more about the journey and the experiences along the way.

    When I broached the subject to my wife, I didn’t not pitch it as a kink or fetish or something to play at. I told her that I loved her. I wanted to have all the love and attention she deserved and that I wanted to put our sex life in her hands. I told her that I would worship her if she let me and that whatever she desired I was down for. I ended by saying from this point forward the focus would be completely on her and with that I showed her the cage I ordered and gave her the key.

    The last two weeks have been pretty good. I am more attentive, and I think she is happy and content with the affection she’s receiving. She ended up getting a key pendent for her necklace to wear as a way to signify her new status as my keyholder. Everything else we are feeling as we go but I think we are on our way. So that’s my story thus far.

    To everyone here, I want to wish you all good fortune and life that brings you happiness and joy. Everyone has one chance to write their story and I hope each of you writes one that is worth reading.
     
  2. NsToy
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    NsToy Active member

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    Welcome to the site. Looks like you are well on your journey. Pretty good start it sounds like. You are seering clear of many of the mistakes that man, including myself, make.
     
  3. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Greetings Traveler! Welcome to The Mansion!!!
     
  4. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Member

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    Welcome. It sounds like you both will benefit from this lifestyle. Keep communicating about your interests and desires. You’ll learn more about yourself and what makes your wife truly happy with her holding the keys.
     
  5. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    Good luck!
     
  6. Princess&Pokey
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    Verified Female

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    You seem to have a very similar mindset to us in not treating FLR as a kink but a design to have an even deeper connection.
     
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  7. Mandy Is My Keyholder
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    Mandy Is My Keyholder New but eager.

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    That is the plan - fingers crossed.
     
  8. Mandy Is My Keyholder
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    Mandy Is My Keyholder New but eager.

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    I just read your post. Thank you and good luck to you both.
     
  9. Mandy Is My Keyholder
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    Mandy Is My Keyholder New but eager.

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    I've already made a few - especially when it comes to measuring LOL
     
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  10. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Welcome to our community. I hope you find it enjoyable as well as helpful.
     
  11. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Your thinking is much like the advice I got when we started. My friend pointed out to us that giving her the power and control keeps you from ever taking her for granted. It is not always about getting you to do more chores or be obedient. Sometimes it is about the little things that tell her you really love her for more than sex and she is truly important and special.
     
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  12. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    hello and welcome. Good luck
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
  14. StubHub
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    StubHub Active member

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    Welcome you're in the right place for folks with similar adventures. Take your time find the course that works for you both.

    As for measuring and devices I am awaiting my sizing rings after finding the wide range of off the shelf declared lengths versus reality. My wife's 3 xmas gifts cages metal and resin failed to meet the needs. I am working to complete the new years resolution to secure a steel cage that works and can serve extended wear without damaging anything.

    She already decided on either jailbird or queens keep . I am hoping my rings are waiting my return today to start the next step.

    Good luck have fun.
     
  15. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    First, welcome to CM. It's always great to have another locked husband trying to improve his marital intimacy by keeping his erections under her control.

    You don't address it, but these are the classic signs of a masturbating husband who's let his porn fantasies and his erections get in the way of his emotional intimacy with his wife, or who has used those fantasies as an avoidance from or replacement of her needs. Good on you for recognizing it.

    A chastity cage is like a blindness cure. Once your erection is dedicated to her and at her control your eyes open to how much your masturbating has gotten in the way of your marital intimacy. When you're not constantly focused on your next orgasm, when your wife literally holds the key to your next erection, you become more attentive and affectionate, you slow down and really start to listen to her.

    Smaller is better, you're on the right track. And peeing sitting down is just part of the gig; think of it as another way to understand her life and to back away from a hyper-masculine penis-centered life.

    Good for her! It won't be long until you her those famous words, when she tells you she wishes she had locked you in chastity years ago.
     
  16. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Active member

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    Welcome to the site ..and thank you for sharing your first steps into chastity. I am certain that you will enjoy this site ...and you....and your KH/wife... will find that its members have a wealth of information and experience on the subject
     
  17. Kylara
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    Kylara Active member

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    Improving my live and my wife's life has been the key to the FLR and she is so much more happier now.

    Feel free to share your story, experience and questions, or PM other we will be happy to help you to be a betetr man.
     
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