Locktober fail

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by pet_k, Oct 7, 2018.

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  1. pet_k
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    pet_k hopeful slut

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    Should have thrown away the keys immediately after self-locking. So disappointed i didn't even make it one week into Locktober. No sure if self-punishment, restarting or giving up on chastity w/o key holder is my next route. Open to ideas from CM because i'm seriously too depresses to think about it.
     
  2. OscartheTurtle
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    We need self locking sponsors so when we feel like giving in we can be talked off the ledge.

    I’m still pretty new to this and I have been where you are. Not sure if I have an answer though on what you should do. Sounds like you need to do some soul searching to answer your question. Me personally, I keep coming back after my bought of disappointment.
     
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  3. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    You say you're self locking. Where are you storing your keys?

    If you can keep them at work, that is extremely effective. Just unlock on a Friday at the end of the day or whenever you decide to clean and then immediately relock.

    If you can't keep them at work, then the glove box or trunk of your car is a decent alternative. By the time you go out to collect them, you've ideally fought down the immediate urge and can realize that you don't actually want to masturbate.

    I've seen people suggest a safety deposit box. That's an option though I'm not sure I'd go with that unless you have some other use for one.

    You want to do whatever you can to make it inconvenient to unlock solely to masturbate.
     
  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Don't beat yourself up. Just try again.
     
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  5. lockedpaul
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    lockedpaul New member

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    How about a key holder's site like EmlaLock? Before my wife got into denying me, I used a combination lock and put the key in there. Or a postal key holder? Just look on eBay.

    No need to get depressed; it's a learning experience.
     
  6. Beach-bum
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    Beach-bum Locked 25th May

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    Don’t be to tough on yourself I’ve been doing chastity for years on and off and this Locktober I’m finally at a week my longest so far! Locktober isn’t easy in reality v fantasy especially as my KH has trusted me with keys so I get sizing correct etc. But staying with it.
     
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  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I have never self locked, but in a way we all are because at some point we are trusted not do anything even if given the opportunity.

    What I have found is the need to eliminate triggers. At least that’s what I do whenever I am left uncaged. If porn leads to touching, and touching leads to edging, and edging leads to “fuck it she’ll never know”...then I need to avoid porn or one of the steps.

    Self control is an issue for most of us, if it was easy, there wouldn’t be a cage, but accepting our limitations and avoiding triggers that promote our weaknesses will certainly help. This isn’t easy, I know going from 350+ orgasms a year to under twenty the next is a big change. Don’t get upset with yourself, use it as a learning tool and try to do better next time.

    Good luck
     
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  8. slave stroppy
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    slave stroppy senior member

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    I have always wondered why more members of these sites who self lock dont get in contact with each other through the site and arrange to swap keys? and hold each others keys and then hopefully you can help encourage each other to carry on at times of weakness or temptation. Its always going to be easier having someone hold the keys out of your immediate reach and especially someone who is actually going through the same issues as you are and has the experience of going through it as well. Why not set up something through this site for folks who live reasonably local to each other to swap keys.
     
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  9. Joey love
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    Joey love Active member

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    I’m self locked as well probably pushing close to two months. First off don’t beat yourself up, if you’re into chastity try again. There’s no rules. I would think all of us self lockers grapple with unlocking and some do, no biggie. My keys are in my car, my most vulnerable times are overnight, I haven’t gone out yet cause by the time I think about and all the moment has passed. Stick with it, go at your own pace. Don’t worry about (L)October. Next time see if you can go a little longer than last time and then give yourself a reward if need be.
    On a lighter note remember you’re a key holder as well- and key holders hold all the power:)
     
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  10. Locked4Her999
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    Locked4Her999 Member

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    I find that I am pretty moody when locked which means one minute I am very comfortable and the next I am frantic to get out. Just commit yourself to "one more hour" and you might find you have calmed down.
     
  11. pet_k
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    pet_k hopeful slut

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    Thanks to all for the support. I've been playing off and on with chastity since about 2006, when i was still married to my key holder. This was a real hard sub crash like I haven't experienced in years and the words of encouragement have really helped. Many of the suggestions don't apply, as frequent removal of my BON4Msmall is required. I will however try leaving the key in my car from now on. My goal was to remain orgasm free (to beat my personal best of 24 days), while being locked up whenever possible. Edging sessions began on Sept. 28th & i lost self control. It was immediately after getting my first manzilian wax job. The smoothness is amazingly sexy & should also help with chastity hygiene. There's still time this month to tie my best of 24 days, if i stay strong. If i'm able to make that goal i'll consider NOvember. Thanks CM!
     
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  12. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Why is frequent removal of Bon4Msmall required? I've worn that cage for extended periods (but moved away from it for smaller, snugger, lighter steel cages). Seems like you've got a masturbation problem, that your wax job has made you feel sexy and horny leading to edging. The point of chastity is to stay locked and not edge.
     
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  13. pet_k
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    pet_k hopeful slut

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    Removed for multiple medical appointments and the wax job. It was one moment of weakness but thanks for jumping to your own conclusion.
     
  14. OscartheTurtle
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    Plus the point of chastity is whatever the wearer and/or the KH wants. If you want to edge then lock back up by all means have at it.
     
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