locked8452's journal - a horrible failure

In my introductory post I mentioned that after occasional selflocking for a period of time, I revealed my desire to more deeply explore chastity to my wife. We began our initial lockup at midnight on the first of this month with the goal of continuing to Valentine's Day. It really didn't work out as planned.

Last night after dinner with another couple, followed by drinks at home and some light petting on the sofa, we went upstairs. We kissed and held each other closely. Following a bit of oral sevice, my wife said she wanted me inside. Nedless to say, I had no choice but to acceed to her request and the cage quickly came off and an extender went on. After a while, she found that to be a bit irritating and the extender came off as well. With one hand wrapped around my testicles, she pulled me back inside and things continued to their logical conclusion.

Undaunted by this initial failure, we'll attempt to complete the remainder of the original sentence. The cage is back on.

 

I guess my characterization of the unlocking as a "failure" didn't come off as tongue in cheek which was my intent. At any rate, thinking about the emerging shift in the dynamic between my wife and me, it seems that she is experiencing an internal struggle with being more assertive sexually an in taking control. For example, she asked that I unlock, rather than telling me to do it. I'm not surprised by this as until now I've always been more sexually agressive and she's been willing within limits, to submit. I wonder if this will change as this new aspect of our relationship continues.

 

It's now been eleven days of lockup, with only two short breaks, the last of which was six days ago. Since then, my wife, Princess has taken posession of both keys and has exerted increasing control of our relationship in the bedroom. She's also become a bit of a tease outside of it, making the occassional reference to my locked state and teasing about it being discovered by others who we know. (I think she may be enjoying this more than she thought she would.) Day to day, nothing has changed in our relationship. Princess doesn't feel the need to use chastity as a lever to change my behavior as I have long had an inherent disposition to please her.

Happily, I'n not having any significent issues with the fit of my cage. , I've found I can exercise vigorously, (running, eliptical trainer, cross country skiing and stationary bike) without any discomfort as long as I wear a jockstrap. I do however leak incessantly. Although overall, my mental state around being locked and having my orgasims under her control is good, not having access to an emergency key is still a bit disconcerting- especially in light of her teasing about being discovered. Last night I had two seperate, brief but very vivid and powerful erotic dreams, both of which centered around my wife and our new relationship. This may be driven in part by a change in our goals regarding the duration of my lockup. I'm no longer sure when I'll be released as my Princess has decided that uncertainty about how and when would enhance the dynamic.

 

As I was about to shower after this morning’s workout, Princess asked if I should be unlocked so I could clean her cage. “I need to watch to make sure you behave.” she said as she handed me the key. She stood in the doorway as I cleaned the cage and sat on the commode and watched through the translucent door as I showered. As I finished rinsing, the door slid open and Princess inspected my work with just enough of a wank to get my blood up, She had to help me force my swollen member back into the cage.

 

I took me hours to get to sleep last night. I was feeling particuarly desperate and frustrated. To add insult to injury, as a head game, Princess has placed the keys in the realator's lockbox I bought to use wih Emlalock and set it on the nightstand on my side of the bed. So near and yet so far.

 

I was expecting to be unlocked last night. Unfortunately things didn't go my way. I pulled out all of the Valentine's Day stops: roses, some chocolates, a lunch of oysters, strawberries dipped in chocolate and white whine. We went to dinner with friends and Princess wasn’t feeling up for sex afterwards. I felt very frustrated and a bit angry. I got up and went to the office to watch some porn. Before I was locked, I’d watch a bit and maybe log onto Milovana to get myself off. The combination of my state of mind and not. being able to masterbate made that a self-defeating exercise. I just couldn’t get into it and went back to bed.

I laid in bed for awhile this morning next to my still sleeping Princess, but the spikes were brutal and I had to get up. I needed to get my head around this thing and figure out whether I wanted to continue. Later this morning, I shared my feeling of disappointment with my Princess. She said that she had absolutely no intention of unlocking me last night since she was sure it was what I was expecting. Further, she made clear that my disappointment wasn’t her concern and reinterated that if she was going to hold the key that it would be on her terms and that my intent to manipulate the situation deserved punishment. She really isn’t in to physical punishment so I expect some more mind-fucking and probably an extended lockup.

 

It’s been a while since my last post and I have a day off so I thought it would be a good time for an update. Except for several short periods of being unlocked for a variety of reasons all of which have been described previously, I’ve been locked continuously since February 1,

I’ve been traveling for some volunteer work since March 1. I described the scheme we developed to relock me once I cleared airport security and to release me for the flight home, in my post on traveling locked. My living quarters here don’t provide much opportunity for FaceTime teasing; so, we’ve only been able to do it one time so far. I don’t know if it’s the lack of sexual interaction, or just time spent locked, but it seems that my cage has become something less of a sex object and more like just something I wear all the time, like my wrist watch. Initially, I was leaking constantly; now it requires some form of stimulation.

Yesterday, Princess told me she has been asked to travel for a couple of weeks to do some similar work to what I’m doing here at a different location. As a result, she won’t be home when I arrive back unlocked. I had ordered a couple of new Chinese cages a few weeks ago along with a variety of teste rings and a set of anti-pull-out spikes. Princess advised me that these had arrived yesterday. Once I’m home I’ll ask if she would like me to try on the various configurations and lock myself or if she would prefer I just relock myself in the current device and wait for her to return. Either way, the keys will go into the lockbox, with a random combination blindly set, photographed and texted to her with the original deleted.

I’ve also come to accept that this chastity journey, if it’s going to work for both of us as a couple, needs ultimately to be about what she wants. I’m confident that Princess loves me as much as I do her and I trust her not to abuse the power I’ve given her over my sex. Although I let her know about things I find arousing, whether she chooses to bring any of those things into our lovemaking is solely her decision.

 

Arriving back home at midnight yesterday, I quickly unboxed the two new metal Chineese cages which arrived while I was gone. (I've posted photos in my gallary.) One cage consists of a series of rings fastened at the bottom to form a downward curve. The other is a curved tube device. Both have bars at the front identical to those in the device pictured in my avatar. They are fitted with anti-pullout spikes which cannot be removed while the device is locked. I also bought an additional teste ring with a spreader bar and another standard teste ring, both in the smallest size, The lockes, keys, spikes, and teste rings are interchangable.

Wearing the tube seems to have a more profound psychological impact than either of the other devices. Reaching down and feeling only smooth cool steel evokes a much more intense feeling of being helplessly locked. At least with my other cages I can feel the skin of my penis through the bars. I suspent that my Princess will prefer the ringes cage since it provides more opportunity to physically tease my cock without unlockeing it,

This morning I blindly reset the combination on the lockbox, removed ny glasses and snapped a photo which I sent to Princess to confirm it was legible. Upon recieving an affirmative response, I locked both sets of keys in the box and deleted both my sent text and the original photo from my phone. So, I'm again locked with the keys to my freedom remotely controlled.

 

Lately, Princess seems to be a bit more assertive in letting me know what she wants. A couple of nights ago we were laying in bed with my left hand on her thigh. She asked “Where’s your other hand?” She grabbed it and taking one of my fingers, thrust it between her legs. She proceeded to get herself off several times using my hand like a toy. It was strange to say the least. She followed up with a vigorous tease of my caged member that bordered on CBT and a gentle kiss good night.

A bit earlier today she told me to take a pill as she thought she might want to have sex tonight.

 

I slept unlocked last night for the first time since the end of January, I guess I should say mostly unlocked as I slept in handcuffs padlocked to a chain around my neck preventing me from moving my hands much lower than nipple level. This was due to the raging hard-on that prevented re-caging at the end of an hour long tease and denial session at the hands (and occasionally the mouth) of my Princess. Although in the past I'd used the handcuffs on Princess (she enjoys mild bondage) prior to my being in chastity, she had absolutely no interest in playing a dominant role. How things have changed.

Typically, the lights are off when we're in bed. Last night, she left the lights on, which is a turn-on for me, as Princess, to use a somewhat vulgar term, is "built like a brick shit house". After about a half hour of slow teasing, she straddled me and used my penis to masturbate herself much like she did with my hand during our last session. She rubbed it around her lips and allowed just the very tip inside her. If I tried to thrust, she would pull away; so, I lay still, enjoying what was given to me but longing for more. After pleasing herself with my member, she remarked "that was better than when I tried to masturbate this morning" Talking about masturbation or for that matter sex in general, is something she almost never does.

She resumed teasing me with her hands and suggested now and then, that I would be locked back up without relief. Finally, she was finished with me and said it was time to lock up. She chuckled at my suggestion that "it would be a shame to waste such a nice hard-on". Given my state of arousal getting back in the cage quickly wasn't an option so she said she would handcuff me to the headboard of the bed, I suggested that cuffing my hands to a chain around my neck would allow me to use the bathroom without waking her. As mentioned previously, Princess cherishes her sleep and she readily agreed, as she cuffedf my hands.

I was left well teased and helpless to do anything about it. My sleep was restless to say the least. I awoke after two dreams which were so vivid that it took a minute to realize they didn't actually happen. Still a bit hard this morning and dripping from the end of my tube.

 

A sudden flurry of activity in the other aspects of our life together resulted in the last four days having been devoid of any real sexual interaction between Princess and me. Yesterday, she unlocked me for a visit to the doctor. I had developed a rash on my left wrist and lower right forearm, I had been clearing some brush at the edge of our property and despite wearing gloves and long sleeves, might have contacted some poison oak or sumac. However, I suspect it was an allergic reaction to the nickle plating of the handcuffs. Although I had prepared myself mentally to admit to the doctor that my wife and I had been playing with handcuffs; as it turned out, it wasn't necessary. When asked if I knew what might have caused it, I mentioned that I had been clearing brush but that I had also been exposed to nickle. The physician, a female of course, asked if I had been wearing jewelry. I responded "yes bracelets". I'm not sure what she thought of the response but said that the treatment was the same regardless of the cause.

Last night I went down on Princess and we had PIV sex. Surprisingly, being locked up and teased hasn't resulted in my having a hair trigger and after quite a while she said. "It's so much hotter when You're locked up".

 

We decided to take a trip west to do some hiking in the desert. The long trip and jet lag put a damper on anything beyond cuddling for a couple of days. Last night I gave Princess a foot message, working my way up her legs to her wet pussy. I massaged her to orgasm. She said that she didn’t understand what I was getting out of this. I was a bit surprised as I had been locked for ten weeks and she really seemed to be getting into having more control over my sex. I explained that while coming was great that it was a fleeting moment while being locked and teased was an ongoing journey. It was very late and we went to sleep without further discussion.