There is no point in keeping track of days locked. How long the cage has been on is less important than why. Why the cage is on is an ever changing thing, however. It starts as an experiment, where the extent of pain is explored. The why at this point is little more than interest, possibly a fetish. Once the device fades a bit to background noise, it begins to show its effect with changes becoming more regular. The why is becoming more and more because she says so. Without any provication, or pillow talk, a request with a strong and compelling reason for compliance is made to wear the device long after the days of experimentation and sexy time are over. Now it is about her words, not my silly fetish. Be careful what you wish for is the trope around here, because after the fun, if I am truly obedient, servitude through submission to chasity gives her real power over me. She smiles differently when she thinks of this. More importantly, her words become more important than my dick. Imagine that, that some part of me actually valued my dick before what she had to say. Im only being honest, and this is what chastity does. It highlights where i am wrong, and makes it impossible for me to just shrug it off... Her words are not something I can beat, walk back, or talk myself out of when my pleasure has been muted and her finger is on the button. More time locked = less ability to argue any reason for it to come off. But really time doesn't matter, what matters is does she want it on, does she benefit, and if not why should she bother? If i listen carefully, it seems it doesn't really matter, but the net effect does, so the work carries on. It can be meloncholic to lose the falic freedom that so defines what a male is by cultural standards... but cathartic too. Either way the emotional element is less heavy this far in, which makes decisions easier. Acceptance of servitude on such a deep sexual level while mundane after it becomes a daily routine, should never be underestimated by me as to how valuable it is towards intamacy in our relationship. Being locked in chastity takes the daily choice to greedily indulge away, and replaces it with a starting point of debt to be paid. I wanted this...
Another day. I can't help but think about how my being voluntarily locked in chastity equates to something. Not everyone is going to feel the same way, but there are a few given atributes to a male in chastity. No PIV... no P in anything! The 'P' is often switched, is that a characteristic of a male in chastity? That perhaps through denial, other cravings might develope? Or perhaps chastity just exposes deep seeded thoughts and vulnerabilities... She texted me 'you need to put your device on' because I had been given the key and had taken it off. It had been off almost 2 days, and I was in no rush to put it on at all. But, once I saw the text, I knew I needed to just get it overwith and so I took a shower and then went to put it on. I looked at myself, and I felt a lot of resistance building. I looked at the device, felt its weight, and set it down with a small thud on the bathroom counter. It is a fork in the road everytime. The invisible option of freedom vs. the tangible option of servide iterated in front of me. If not for a strange twist of fate, I would have chosen not to serve. I prefer to not wear the device. 50% of me is in full opposition to chastity. While it is intoxicatingly rewarding to delve deep down where service is all i have to offer, it is a one way street. It means something to be kept in chastity, it means someone agrees with your submission, wherever that may take you...
This current session I am self locked, she didn’t order it, I don’t know if she even knows it’s on after 3 days. I do it to keep myself for her.
been there. life can get in the way sometimes We had a talk about my chastity after a few days of it being locked. A few days is a good start to just see what happens. My device can be a bit of a shock if it has not been on in a while. It is on the heavy side and the pa piercing always needs a day or two to adjust. Adjustment phase aside, and after the device is clearly worn without issue I asked if we could set a date for my release, and the answer was what it has always been, 3 months. She might let me take it off sooner, but, it ultimately is up to me and my dedication to see it through and not ever ask for it off, even when the time is up. Unlike the internet fantasy, where lockup time is extended for bad behavior, when I behave badly she just stops caring, and doesn't bother to withhold the keys, which sends a clear message she is fed up. There is a huge difference in her being fed up at say, me not making her coffee ahead of time, and then that requiring a lesson, vs her being just mad at me for nagging or saying anything at all about being locked. When I am like that she loses interest, and I guess feels I am not committed to serving, which means she isn't going to be committed to keeping a key. Key holding is not easy, particularly when the sub never shuts up about it- in a complaining way or otherwise. Truth be told, I have made it months before without release, but in that time the device becomes so normal to me my sexuality shifts away from being dick-centric towards something---else. Chastity at that point is maybe too easy for me, and can be another way she loses interest. After months it is relatively easy for me to forget what I had after that much time. Even with far less it is possible, but after months it is total autopilot. I have no idea what the future holds at this point. She seems happy, and I have not messed it up yet, but I can see she is skeptical that I will stay silent, or dedicated.
I am feeling some mixed emotion today. Regret or uncertainty....no. Maybe just fatigue? ...possibly. There have been times when chastity gets too difficult, so what then? Which direction now? Ease up? Take a break?? Or stay the course, double down, be even more submissive? Im not sure that possible for me, yet. I feel like I might be complaining too much, could a heavy spanking actually correct that? I have my doubts... There is however without a doubt a dynamic change in a relationship with the use of chastity. Over the years it has never lasted very long. I think the longest lockup was around 70 days, and when it came off I took a day to recover, she made no demands, and so there was a lapse in my putting it back on. Once it went back on, the kind of dynamic change began all over again, more familiar in some ways, but still different from the last. So we both get a strong sense of starting over, which can be exciting but also stressful when we still think about how things ended the last time. Not being dedicated enough, on both our parts probably allows for these lapses to happen. 'The power of no' Yes....yes indeed. Both sides of the equation have this ability, but in D/s relationship, saying no is a power move, and only one side is supposed to exert that privilage. Although for the purposes of obedience training, or relationship improvement, does one have to stay the course with zero deviation? Why is saying no from a 's' pov like a deal breaker, and from a 'D' it is just business as usual? I think I know the answer. Stay the course... or risk losing it all. Or at very least risk starting over, again.
I want out of this. I want this. Repeat. She has been very very good at teasing me, to the point where I found I am not as strong as I once was, and/or I am just kind of high strung lately. We played with some toys, and I was being a little grumpy because I was in a 'want it off' mood so she kicked it up a notch by merely talking in a way that reduced me to begging in no time... she knows me so well. I have been very good at following orders lately, and was beginning to be kind of proud of how long I have been wearing the device. But her words... they were like some kind of assassin stalking my sex drive right to the edge of a cliff... and they pushed me right off. With restraints on my ankles and hands I reached a climax while caged. In the past I have enjoyed this kind of climax immensely, but this time I felt humiliated and the actual climax went 90% of the way there and then just drip drip drip... She was not letting up. I could feel the chemical change in my body/mind post climax overtaking my ability to be submissive willingly and replacing it with stronger feelings of 'want if off'... I never do this, but I used the safe word and asked for a break. She of course immediately backed off and asked if I was ok. Physically the answer was yes, but mentally I was feeling kind of shattered. I stupidly asked for the a night off from the device, and she thankfully said no. I can't get out of my own way sometimes, but it was a relief that all ended when it got too extreme for me, all except I am still in chastity. I still cannot believe that I used the safe word. It was kind of a misuse of it.... but I felt it necessary at the time.
What happened? The hitachi shifted weirdly when she was pleasuring me through my cage. My skin had pressed through the sides due to being intensely aroused, and the vibrator just sort of slipped. We stopped after I yelped and wen't to sleep. In the morning I saw a scratch, and some blood. So the cage came off after 30 days on. It was not what we had planned at all. It has been a few days, and she has not instructed me to put the chastity device back on at all. She had been asking about the scratch, which healed very quickly, but that was all. I've read here before, just put it on... but I know better now. I do as she says, when she says. It might not be the right time for her, or she feels i am better serving her unlocked... at least for now. Whatever the case, I am not complaining! I also know although communication is key, a discussion is a back and forth, a give and take... while requests for release or sex, or suggestions, or complaints regarding chastity usually are one way, out of line, and diminish respect. It is a bit weird though that as soon as the chastity device comes off, so too does the sexual side of our FLR. Our relationship is otherwise unchanged, I am just not being told to put the device on, so I am not. As busy parents though, our sex life is limited to begin with, so things have really slowed down. It may just be the time of year too as this was when our home flooded 2 yrs ago.
If it felt necessary, it was. An orgasm is a hell of a thing. Even the ones we want and long for can feel unbearable in the moment of greatest intensity, and chastity also brings up all the emotional aspects of orgasm that most men never experience. That can be euphoric, but it can also be crushing. Your safe word is there as much for your emotional safety as your physical safety.
Well the cat is out of the bag... Headed to my dr to see why I am having erectile issues. Also regular chkup. The trouble is, I am not sure about what to tell the dr. Symptoms only? Tell all? Bring the chastity device in and show and tell?? Good grief no. But how can I get an honest assessment without a full disclosure? This is another critical point regarding the unspeakable dangers of chastity. Unspeakable here as nobody is willing to talk about it candidly. Those that do arent any better at knowing anything about all of this. It is very much an individual journey. If you tell your wife/kh they likely wont ever want to lock you again, and really who do you tell when you have an issue with chastity? Yes start with the keyholder, but I mean who can answer any of these questions with any authority. This forum has proven to be wildly unreliable, not to mention hostile if you have an outside point of view. I hadn't realized how mentally fucked this has made me. The best analogy I can give is it is like the device has never stopped gripping my penis. No pain, but my erection stops short, as if it is in the cage still. I have also lost some feeling. There has been some support from the forum, and thanks to y'all. I was hurting badly, still am. It may be only coincidental that my abilities weakened at the same time I was released. But I feel I know better. Call it intuition, call it being attatched to the penis in question, whatever. I am not me. More change has been running my life these days, so busy busy. I need to investigate all angles, and honestly hope I am wrong about chastity, but as of now, there is no medical opinion that supports the fantasy that a penis can sustain being caged without harm. It is so rediculously obvious it does harm, but I think we all know and accept that as a part of it.
Its called age...stress....drama there are many things that could cause you to be less hard..simply blaming your device seems like you are guessing at what is causing it. Could be your hormones? Vitamin levels? Maybe your sexual orientation has changed and you are turned on by different things? Getting older? Diet? Stress? All of which could cause you to be softer than you were...to pinpoint it to being your cage is a long shot but i guess a possibility good luck at the doctor i am sure he/she cant wait to talk to you i hope your less abrasive with him/her and refrain from calling there spouse fat if they disagree with you like you did for me. Good luck bud
I don't think it's your opposing viewpoint, but your caustic approach and your victim mentality that makes you a target. But seriously, good luck. Tell him about chastity, or tell him your underwear are too tight, or you rode a motorcycle for hours and it was pressed hard against the tank or something. Interested to know what he says.
As said elsewhere it is not easy to speak to doctors. On one side because you might have ingibitions to talk about it to outsiders about it on the other side because also doctors are humans and can have prejudices.... If you ask me - leave the cb at home, but tell him abput it and certain problems you might have had with it. There is the risk that he is fixating on it without considdering other reasons, but if he is a good one it will help him in his diagnosis having all informations...
A number of months ago I wore a Custom Chastity device I have for a week. I removed the cage in the shower but the base ring stayed on. I developed an abscess at the base of my penis and saw a male dermatologist. He's considerably younger than me, as most medical professionals are now, and seemed a bit embarrassed when I told him that I had been wearing a chastity device. After removing a bunch of pus junk from the abscess and then injecting some antibiotic he said "Stop doing that". Well, I'm sure it was good advice but after healing I returned to my good old cheap and comfortable Chinese cage. The Custom Chastity device has a double base ring; maybe that's what the problem is but it's never felt quite right to me.
I'm curious what the doctor says as well. Just a suggestion: Be prepared to bring up chastity, but only after he rules out other issues. If you tell him right at the beginning, he may be only fixated on that (even subconciously). You'll have given him the cause before he does a thorough examination of other potential issues first.
@slappy I see you left mascara snakes comments on your profile. He probably loves that. Thanks for chiming in. We could leave it at that. But this actually interests me. If you would be so kind and elaborate on your judgement of my approach and victim mentality... oh wait, you see me as a target. I assume the fact I am a victim, of multiple things, which also makes me a survivor, wouldn't actually be relevant to you while looking down on others. And here you are, in my journal. Way to make it personal porkchamber. Are you a cop? You seem like a cop. Thanks though. Thanks for all of the replies. @maid_carrie you're welcome to do some moderating over here. As always.
I was simply explaining why you might feel attacked. People explain a difference of opinion, you take it as a stand-offish personal attack and you lash out. When they respond to your negative attitude, you claim to be the victim. It’s cool. The world needs people like you, too. You and I might actually get along in real life, as long as you’re cool with cops.
Yeah Mascara left a message on my profile page and i ssaid thanks...hard concept for you i guess..you obviosly have a lot of free time to read all my post...call my wife fat..get a hobby dude...not everyone is out to get you..you get all pissed if anyone disagrees with you . Move on bro there is other things to do than call me a dolt aNd insult my wife. But whatever enjoy yourself hope your weekend goes better than your week did....lol
@slappy @PorkChamber @ anybody offended, I am sorry. I am not above an apology for being rude. I greatly prefer civil discussions. Not sure that is entirely possible in a forum like this, but it is what it is. I am sorry. But let's be clear, if you call me out and expect no response, you are mistaken. If you could not see I am hurting, let me tell you that now. Loudly. I am hurting. If you think trying to illicit an emotional response from me makes you feel superior, go ahead and choke on your own narcissistic dick and take your infantile baiting elsewhere, because I will hit back. I am not above the fray, and am in fact human. WTF
Sorry for what i said back. Its no biggie..i dont take it to much to heart its just internet name calling thattis all.. i have never met anyone on the internet that i would consider tough....lol.. And ps i dont feel superior to anyone on here thats silly. I hope you get the help you need because if i had your condition i guess i would be emotional also. Hope the doc appointment went well and they were able to diagnose what is going on.
Like some kind of escaped prisoner finally re captured I was directed to lock up last night. "Will you please put on your device for me" is what she said. Today she spent a lot of time in our room alone. It hasn't been 24 hrs and I'm already freaking exploding on the inside. I know she has plans... oh fuck what have I done...again!!!
...looking over this thread and wow. 2 things: 1. I am ftm fine. I would say the best anyone can do if you practice regular chastity and are having any difficulty staying hard, buy a penis pump. It can help. Moderation, and really, just taking things slow seems to be the best I can do. She loves chastity. So we carry on. I thought we were done, but my condition improved. Despite everything telling me not to, I did. 2. And here i am wanting to be a part of this ...forum or whatever, and im thinking adding anything else at this point is null. ♂️
She lasted 24 hrs. I did not complain, but I began asking the same stupid questions. I guess it had been long enough that I was eager for attention, too eager, and not ready to be humble enough to serve. Chastity is a one way street that, if you're not ready, it is best to stay away. I am in a weird head space these days. Mental health seems great, but I have the crossdressing gene and often find myself naturally inclined towards it. I don't hate this part of myself, I cannot control how it makes me feel however. I usually hide those feelings and desires as much as I can. She is not against me as a cd/tv... but it goes against the binary that passes our time, in our culture and part of the world. I am also busy with kids. So very little me time at all, but really very little relationship time. Chastity puts that relationship 100% on her terms, and although I love that, responcibility dictates, and she finds it can be a hinderence when full time. So she quit again. The cage is back in a box. Our sex life is ... what it is.