Locked in a Lori 8c with an asexual KH

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by dre8car, Nov 25, 2019.

Random Thread
  1. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    It's the day after my 23rd anniversary and we've been together for 28 years, locked and orgasm free 81 days and counting.

    It took 2 years off and on farting around with different models and sizing, trying to share my desires with my wife until getting the fit right on my device.

    I'm trying to remember how I discovered male chastity. I think I stumbled on to it googling what to do about an asexual wife. MC sounded like an excellent solution that would lead to more satisfying encounters with my wife. I am hoping that if she doesn't have any pressures she will explore all the ways we could pleasure each other.

    I've discovered that I may have a higher degree of submissive tendencies towards her than I thought and that MC keeps me interested in my wife even though my sex life isn't what I hoped it would be. Somehow being constantly locked has amplified my satisfaction from the very little intimacy I receive.

    I'm the only one to ever have given her an orgasm and i thought with MC that I would be dining at the Y daily but it hasn't worked out that way.

    I have zero idea what will happen next. Her key management skills were lacking before. So I asked her to take the keys to work and keep them at her desk until she was ready to use them.

    Maybe I shouldn't have told her, "it doesn't matter when I cum or even if so long as she's happy."

    It's out of my hands now and locked in a lori until further notice.
     
    bondinchas, Byrdie, Rectrix and 4 others like this.
  2. WWD
    Offline

    WWD Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2019
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Although we are not using a MC device, I have not orgasmed since before 22 Sep when we started our FLR. My wife to is asexual. Absolutely ZERO interest in sex. For us I think her lack of interest is a combination of things. We went through a very trying few yrs in our relationship (27 yrs married). Of that 27 yrs, between 2012-2018 there was 100% zero physical or emotional intimacy. Beginning in 2018 our relationship began to mend and she allowed me to orgasm by touching her breasts. It has continued like that to present. On 22 Sep I went all in on confessing my faults/failures as a husband (there are many) and began serving her unconditionally. In addition to the relationship we have the usual pressures of life, two young adult children still at home, a very active 8 yr old and at 47, she is experiencing physical changes as well. The results since 22 Sep? Absolutely AMAZING! No sex but a level of emotional and physical (non-sexual touch) intimacy we have not enjoyed for years. Her kisses are tender, full of feeling. Her body language toward me is open and inviting. She LOVES having me rub her feet and allows me to kiss them. I feel a deep sense of purpose in serving and being submissive to her. She is not overtly dominant but does love the attention and how much I have lightened her load around the house by doing housework. In closing, I love where we at and so does she. Neither of us can imagine going back .
     
  3. Mash2214
    Offline

    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,697
    Likes Received:
    9,213
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business Owner, servant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    3:36 AM
    Asexual KH + being Locked = long long time between orgasms. If ever. Enjoy
     
    Danny15 and smlocked like this.
  4. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    The experience of many others locked in devices having more sex is not mine, damn.

    It's day 93 of full time lock up. I've gone from a goal oriented chastity mindset to the panic of what if this is the end of my orgasms and penis as I've known it. I have states of being super flaccid. Is it because of being locked full time or aging, I don't know?

    I really want to enjoy my wife. I've tried to initiate play but nothing. A few days ago I asked if I could get the key to masturbate. She said no because she would need to think about that. She probably forgot. We'll see if anything happens this weekend but it's doubtful. Yes, I think it will be a very long time and my next orgasm will be a pity hand job. I've tried to sex her up, to talk with her about pleasuring her, zero action and interest. Even though at times she says that she wants more sex or asks if I want to have sex nothing happens.

    I'm worried (because after not cumming on our anniversary) that if I dont cum during the holidays, Valentine's nor my 50th birthday in June, I won't be cumming at all if she truly takes control of the key. Fuck!
     
  5. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    105 days

    I guess I am coming to the realization that this could become permanent. Never having sexual contact with my wife or even being able to masturbate ever again was not my initial intention.

    I have observed that others on the forum seem to have a casual attitude that allows them to simply discard their spouse if they cannot take what they want for another to solve this problem, that's not me.

    I must approach this as not being a problem since my attitude is to give my wife the freedom of knowing that I'm in love with her and she's been put in control of our sex life in order for her to not feel pressure or anxiety that I would discard her.

    I asked her today if she is satisfied sexually and she said no and that she can't get her mind into sex then mused about whether she needed medication.

    Learning autofellatio may have been a better idea, lol.
     
    Anonoman and Alceste like this.
  6. Jessica Alexander
    Offline

    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    1,354
    Likes Received:
    2,418
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston
    Local Time:
    10:36 AM
    I don’t know how you do it. I don’t expect orgasms but I do expect a little regular attention and appreciation for power exchange. I don’t know why but when I hear about an asexual wife absolutely refuse to hold/hide a key with no other expectations from her, it pisses me off. It seems like the smallest of favors for you if she is going to withdraw sexual intimacy.

    You continue all your expectations as a husband and she can’t spend literally 5 seconds a day to pat your cage and say, “locked up tight because I don’t want it out.” If I loved a man and didn’t want sex I would at least let him look at me naked or go down on me and get some self relief now and then.

    If I’m going to be in a room mate relationship then I expect my room mate to pay half the expenses and do half the work around the house and stay out of my business in all sexual matters.

    But hey, it’s your life and really none of my business. It just angers me to see someone treated like dirt.
     
  7. tecolote
    Offline

    tecolote Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    521
    Likes Received:
    736
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Government
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    California
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    She likely has no clue how much impact not being allowed to orgasm has. May as well explain to a fish why we need air.

    These stories make me feel a little better about my own situation. My wife likes very infrequent vanilla sex. We're "trying to have a baby" which means that we have increased our activities up to once a month. Yup.

    Like OP, I somehow thought that chastity could become the key to more frequent and less vanilla sexual encounters. Surprisingly, putting someone with little interest in sex in charge of sex doesn't lead to more sex. Who knew?

    The worst part is that I'm doubling down on the original idea and proposing giving her more control than ever. I mean... It's a long shot, but the way I see it, you have to at least try to get what you crave,even at the risk of making things worse. God men are dumb about women.
     
    tdk34, Rectrix and Jessica Alexander like this.
  8. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    How do I do it, good question. I do tell people when asked, because we've been together since '91, the recipe is Love, Commitment, Forgiveness, with a dash of Kink.

    I have been down the other road, etc. Thankfully I didn't ruin our marriage and family.

    The Lori has amplified what precious little hugs, kisses, cuddles and petting of the cage that there is but nothing is ever initiated by her. So verbal teasing is absent unless it's in response to something that I say. If it is her just responding to request by providing them, there is an emptiness to that in my mind. With that kind of lack of connection then why not just see a sex worker, because that's not for me even though the arguments can be quite logical.

    She is a bit clueless. IE, this morning she asked how I was and I replied that my balls are full. She said sorry to hear about that. What would have been more satisfying is if she had grab the cage and said awe your balls are so full how are you.

    Some women may not understand a man like me. However, she has gotten better with key management. I haven't been able to find them in my wtfhid moments.
     
    Alceste and Rectrix like this.
  9. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Merry Christmas to me. Reset.

    Screenshot_20191223-000205.png
     
  10. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Interesting but I'm not sure why the change. After being allowed to cum 2 weeks ago and before being immediately incarcerated again, I changed the shape of my ball ring for comfort. Since then, I've noticed more build up and pent up need to cum. Also an increase in production during milking. Is this just one of the changes to expect when one hasn't masturbated for 4 months?
     
  11. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Seems like the wife's MO these days is to leave the key out. She has done so twice this year. It's nice to be able to exercise my cock during these long to me lock ups. The cum is still staying in my balls though. I'd like for my orgasms to be with my wife.

    She's away this Valentine's weekend so I think that's why she left out the key. The time before was the morning after I tried to sex her up the night before.

    I just went through kelowna airport security. I know I could have unlocked because it was an unplanned trip but what's the point. If I'm in, I'm in. This time I did not Breeze through though. Back room with 2 guys for a pat down. The 1st guy needed a 2nd opinion before they were good. The lady at the arch also heard about my jewellery as she was listening and observing what was happening. I had to answer were my jewellery was. He asked can it be removed. They both were puzzled when I answered no and that it was in my groin. I was much calmer this time even though the scrutiny was elevated.
     
  12. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    So this morning I was cuddling with my wife. I knew that it would not lead to anything sexual. However, I have had questions that needed to be asked. I wanted to know if she had given herself an orgasm since the last time that I inquired, she said no. I think that is 6 months now. She doesn’t respond to my advances anymore and so I haven’t gone down on her for half a year or had any intercourse. I asked if she was asexual, gay, abused as a child or having sex with someone else. She said no to all but asexuality. She didn’t use the word but what she described I have read about. She basically said that she was the opposite of me as it relates to sexual drive, desires and thoughts. I mentioned to her that the Lori was a way for her to meet my sexual needs without having sex. I explained that over the years all the things that I wanted to do with / to her that I could not experience became arousing to experience them on the receiving end. She said that some of the things she finds to be turn offs. But in my estimation she doesn’t have turn ons anymore. I thanked her for giving me access to the key last weekend but I told her that she should not provide unsupervised access. I confessed to her that all weekend I was thinking about how easy it would be to satisfy my desires with any other woman. I explained to my wife that the cage has a dual purpose, that it keeps me horny and ready for her while at the same time is a physically barrier to adultery. I told her that I disagree with popular society that advises to find another wife or have other partners on the side. So she knows I love her and I just want to make love to her. She knows to keep me locked until she’s ready. It’s just that neither of us know when that will be, if ever.
     
  13. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    I hope everyone is healthy and taking Covid-19 serious.

    My wife is cute. I think she realizes that I am sexually frustrated and maybe seeing how MC gives her an opportunity to participate in our sex life by being mentally playful etc.

    Since I am not having any sex my sex life is mostly between my ears it seems and in my cage. I read the forum here regularly. One night she asked and I told her what I was reading. She said why do you mind fuck yourself, you can't do anything. I asked her who exactly can I share this with, who could understand?

    We were hugging and I was trying to extended the embrace. She cutely asked,whats wrong as if she was daring me in a playful way to complain about my predicament.

    Our sex life changed again. Since the last orgasm she gave me, 93 days ago by HJ, she has left the key out for a few days which has lead to a masturbation marathon. Strange, I haven't allowed myself to cum without her. If the pattern continues mid April is the next edging session. I would much rather be making love to my wife, giving her O's but she hasn't wanted any sex. She has said that she thinks about my cage regularly but hasn't acted on her thoughts. Did that ever provide a gust of hope.

    3 days ago I was having an erotic dream. I was very sure that it was a wet one. I got up a few hours later to find no evidence of ejaculate. Can one really dream about cumming without actually cumming?
     
  14. Logit3x
    Offline

    Logit3x Queen Dee's Soldier

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2019
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    54
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:36 AM
    yeah . it seems like you, me and the first reply to your post should form a support group. The second poster sounds precisely like me too. We probably should chat without the distractions of others who don't get it. for instance the person in this thread who sarcastically wishes you good luck. They don't get it. Ive confided in a few friends and Ive got some ideas why when I met my wife I knew she was perfect. or more perfect than most. locking up with these women is going to lead to frustration. I was thinking about this as I was parking my car in the garage minutes ago. I think we will find solace in embracing what we do have that no other "normal" couples have. and embracing the things we never will have. Ive had a really hard time believing that my wife legitimately is asexual. Ive read the current literature. She has too. It matches. Kind of funny however because I never knew anyone like her and it is because she (and our wives are 1% ers. We wont a lottery of sorts.) Id love to chat with you all about commonalities as I continually try to figure this out without the dumbass comments from others who cannot relate. Couple things that I have that I know normal people don't. 1. My wife will NEVER cheat on me. Doesn't have the desire there is no urges with me or much less anyone else. 2. Id be interested in what your wives educational life was like was she one of (if not THE smartest person in her grade) Mine was #2 in a class of 500 seniors. My wife is a model of stoicism. Nothing really gets to her. 4. I have NEVER in 30 years EVER caught her in a lie. 5. She is willing to indulge almost every sexual urge I have. She isn't into it but she will give it a go because she knows I like it. Which is like eating a perfectly good steak with no calories. Quite literally she wont swallow (it tastes like electrical wires) and she wont do anal (it hurts and she cant relax enough to try it anymore. 5 times was enough. She knows she doesn't like it) I think we got a gold mine. Most of my friends don't like their wives. I categorically do. I think one thing that is interesting too is our love isnt based on sex. We don't have make up sex. We don't call each other names. There is never a physical component (Hitting) nothing. I think you are fooling yourself tho. Your sex life is always going to be a 6. but it never will be a 3. or a 10. Ive spent the better part of 30 years trying to figure it out. It is interesting. I think for me this is really what I want. I have like zero chance of being hurt by her.
     
  15. Logit3x
    Offline

    Logit3x Queen Dee's Soldier

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2019
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    54
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    5:36 AM
    I understand 100% with 30 years of experience. What you are writing sounds like I wrote it exactly. If you actually get in a bad state of mind hit me up. my last post kinda jumps all over the place. I think I can help you come to grips with some of this.
     
  16. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    It's been a 144 days since I last came. Urgh, I hoped MC would lead to more sex with wifey but instead it has made her feel less guilty about the lack of sex. She has been kind enough to allow me alone time about every 5 weeks but I rather be intimate with her when I cum and so I haven't. Lately I haven't wanted to continue with MC. I laugh at myself everyday when I touch the cage. I brought up the idea about not wearing the cage by asking her if she thought things were better than before MC which she said no. I suggested that maybe we should stop and she said no so I'm locked until further notice. She also asked me to stop asking for sexual activities and let things happen. So inadvertently I've got myself locked into indefinite chastity, great. Im hoping for anything since my 50th is coming soon and she hasn't touch my uncaged cock since before Christmas.
     
    Rectrix likes this.
  17. dre8car
    Offline

    dre8car Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2018
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    157
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada, BC, Vancouver
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Yes many similarities. What I'm beginning to accept is that there isn't a solution. I am not one for just having her comply because then she is just having sex out of obligation and not passion. I find that empty.

    Mine has never swallowed nor done anal. Deep throat didn't go well either. My sex life exists between my ears. There are glimmers of hope though when she grabs my cage with a seductive smile and I wonder wait is this her flexing her KH muscles.
     
  18. Thomas Gangman
    Offline

    Thomas Gangman Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2016
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    386
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    IT Consultant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Northern New Jersey USA
    Local Time:
    5:36 AM
    Thank god my wife/kh is a very sexual being, I'm on day 6 of a 14 day commitment and already going crazy. She has been in the office the last 3 days preparing to have some of her staff return, so I am all alone waiting for the next call to download files to her server. If not for replying to postings in the downtime, I would continue to feel my cage all day. I know when she gets home she wants to be pampered so I have everything waiting by the hot tub. If lucky, she tease me, her way of proving whose the boss. The only good news, if I prove myself tonight, i will get my milking tomorrow.
     
    dre8car likes this.
  19. tecolote
    Offline

    tecolote Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    521
    Likes Received:
    736
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Government
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    California
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    Oh god. I need to be careful.
     
    dre8car likes this.
  20. CharlesBrown
    Offline

    CharlesBrown Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2020
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    5:36 PM
    Gosh, this is very familiar - my wife 'came out' as asexual about 2 years ago and we've got zero intimacy or physical connection now. So much so that I have a friend acting as keyholder for my 12 month locked experiment and my wife has no idea.

    In my mind I want my wife to hold the keys as a sort of way to equalise the libido in our marriage but am scared that this might be equal parts a terrible and brilliant. Chastity is kinda fun if the other person recognises and cares a bit about the psychology of it. I'm not sure what she'd do. Likely it would be a no (as with all intimacy) and I'd have a fight to manage as well as yet another thing that dies inside. But what if she says yes. Then what?

    I hope you're going ok on your journey - that asexual/zero libido and zero care about the partners sexual needs thing is a bitch of a thing.
     
  21. tecolote
    Offline

    tecolote Active member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    521
    Likes Received:
    736
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Government
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    California
    Local Time:
    2:36 AM
    That's a recipe for locked and ignored, Charlie Brown. Don't do it.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice