Locked for Religious beliefs?

Zeb - either you're trolling like a good-un (and I doubt that you are) or you are in a very odd situation. I have lot's of thoughts, and as usual, some of them are conflicting.

Does she mind that you masturbate? Have you told her that no matter what, you feel a need for release on a weekly basis?

Way back in time, when it was more common for couples to remain chaste and not to sleep with each other before marriage, you can be sure the guy was masturbating like a monkey. Why should it be any different now?

Can't you just lock yourself away and give her the key?

And lastly - why feel guilty about anything? Unless you like to feel guilty, of course. Do what you like to do and be happy.

 

There is nowhere in the Bible that says you have to wait until you are married to have sex. There is nowhere in the Bible that says after marriage sex is only for procreation. These are both modern beliefs. In fact the Bible has several passages that say a man and woman should make themselves available to each other for love and intimacy.

If you are fully committed to this relationship then I applaud you for not wanting to cheat on your wife to be, but the fact that she has said she doesn't want sex with you does not in any way mean you should feel guilty for relieving the pressure this will put you under. I would make sure that she is also not of the opinion that sex after marriage will only be for the procreation and not for recreation. This conversation is critical because if she does think the former then that would definitely be grounds for reconsidering moving forwards.

Sex as part of a healthy relationship, in whatever form it takes, is hugely important to the success of that relationship. Intimacy brings a couple to a place that no other activity can. If one wants it and the other doesn't the imbalance can poison the otherwise healthy structure.

 

Zeb6, my wife and I are also very religious and prior to marrying my now wife, we had been a little intimate but we both decided that we felt it was wrong and refrained from any sexual contact until we were married which was probably about 6-8 months, can't remember exactly. If it means alot to her, I would suggest you respect her decision (which it sounds like you are). I personally was masturbation from time to time which I felt was not the right thing to do but it was the lesser of two evils. Anybody who reads this, please do not interpret it as being judgemental of me for any choices you have made. I am only speaking of my beliefs and my decisions. We all believe different things, and I respect that.

 

I think you need to have a conversation with her about how to make this work. Back when I was a youth, it was common for inexperienced girls to make their boyfriends keep their underpants on or even wear speedos in bed. So it's not entirely insane for you to pitch a chastity device as the equivalent and otherwise revert to vanilla for a while.