Yesterday I was teaching my son to dive under waves at the beach. Kids and adults that didn't grow up around the ocean tend to try to charge through waves face up. Watch the original Karate Kid to see what I mean. I'm not sure about the adults, but with kids it's a fear thing. They know the wave coming is powerful and going to smack them, so why am I going to lay down and get crushed by it? Ultimately with time and encouragement they try and they discover that when done properly it allows the force of the wave to pass harmlessly above them. It's really amazing to watch that transition and in my opinion it is one of those life lessons that go well beyond how to deal with waves. It's about conquering fear, trying new things and even learning that charging head first into situations is not always the smartest way to face your challenges. Later in the evening I was reflecting on this and it made me wonder what life lessons chastity has been teaching me. One thing it's certainly taught me is how wrong we can all be in our deepest held opinions. This time last year if asked what was wrong with my marriage I would have said my wife is frigid and that leaves me feeling frustrated and angry. That 75% of my sex life is my right hand and a computer screen because of her and I resented her for that. Clearly I was wrong as what has made me happy is a huge decline in orgasms and almost no sex whatsoever. It makes me wonder about the validity of some of my other opinions. What life lessons have you all learned from chastity?
Well, my life lesson from chastity for sure was and is that it is worth a wait for real-life experiences instead of giving in to instant urges fueled by virtual fantasy on demand. So chastity prevents me to follow up on porn or virtual fantasies to the ultimate, but to rather have them play a role, if any, to make me more prepared, i.e. hotter, for the real thing - even if I have to admit that such can also go into the wrong direction, if I got too lost in virtual fantasies I watched or read, even here at CM, as it then had too little to do with the real situation after such virtual exposure. However, if successful, the real situation always turned out to be much more satisfying, hot and absolutely great for both involved than everything else my loving partner or I could have ever imagined by using virtual, fantasy or porn-related material. So chastity taught me to not waste myself or my loving partner's sex-life on virtual fantasies on demand for just too little benefit, but better to experience them in real-life, while just time by time exposing me to such fantasy stuff while securely locked or not willing to follow up on them, not to waste my energy on fantasy then, even if it is such tempting always, and as said I have to be careful still not to get lost in them too much for the later real-life situation.
PouchPantyLover So well said, this i why I am here to learn from other people on the same journey as my wife and I. Seeing othe people mistakes and accomplishment really help shorten the time taken to make this thing work for us. A year ago would've never thought my so-called vanilla wife would be so good at this lifestyle. But she is better at it than me and I have been fantasizing about it for 40 years. My my, how could I have been so wrong for so long. It was always right in front of my face, I was jut to selfish and immature to see it. Love you Princess and sorry for the good times I took from our marriage early on. (My avatar is my Princess) I'm paying for it now and she always has a smile on her face!!!!! It's her turn now.
The Life Lesson chastity has taught me is that I am a dominant female and that is ok. I was never anything else but the societal norms meant it was reined in most of the time and I played the part required of me. Now I am happier in myself and leading the life I want with a partner who encourages me every step of the way.
Chastity for my bf has given me a great boost to my self confidence and self esteem. It's funny, at work I'm in a position of high authority and I'm bossy because I have to be and I admit I've always enjoyed it. Outside of work, I was a pushover and often controlled and manipulated by other people. I had only a few boyfriends and most of them didn't treat me well. I got this one, and was surprised I got him, He's a really great guy and he used to have more ladies after him than he could handle. He always treated me the best, but I still lacked a lot of confidence in myself, even with him. Putting him in chastity, dressing him up and spanking him has made me more assertive and self confident. I'm not afraid to say anymore that I don't want something. The first time I spanked him in front of my best friend, it was for him being ruder to her than usual. She thought it would be a good idea for her to take a few swings at his bottom with my tawse. She tried to manipulate me by saying he'd offended her, so she should get to punish him, too. She was just going to have him bent over a chair with his panties pulled down and swat away at him. She used to get me to do alot of things before I really didn't want to do, but not this time. I took her out of the room, reminded her one of the conditions for her getting to see this was she didn't touch him. She'd been asking me ever since I told her I spanked my bf to get to watch him get one. She tried to rationalize it by saying she actually wasn't going to touch him but the "tawse thingy" was. I told he "No", that's not what we agreed to and it wasn't open for any more discussion. I asked her if she wanted to leave now and I'd finish disciplining him alone, or did she want to watch the rest of his disciplinary session. She started to try to argue, but I cut her right off and told her to choose herself or I was going to choose for her. She was surprised, but chose to stick to what we'd agreed to. A year before, that wouldn't have happened. I'd have given in to her and been sad about it for a long time. No more. I'm glad I made her stick to what she agreed to. She even admitted later she was surprised. She sometimes hints at wanting to spank him herself from time to time or wanting to participate more when I spank him in front of her, but I cut that off fast. It wouldn't have happened two years ago. I feel better about it.