Hey all, I've been in chastity for a month now. My wife has expressed that she loves the closeness she feels from me. I've been doing my best to pamper her and show her I love her without being overbearing, as a FLR is very new to her and she's trying to adjusted to it. While most of the time I'm loving this, sometimes I find myself getting mad or annoyed that she's not giving me the kind of attention I crave. Sometimes I think I'm trying harder at all of this that she is. I know that's not fair because I'm the one that asked for all of this, and she's the one adjusting and getting used to it, but I'm putting in a lot of work and not much back at this point. I really just want to get rid of those thoughts and be happy to serve my Goddess. I'm hoping she'll come around to being more dominant, but I can't go full slave while she's still getting comfortable in her new role. What tips would you all have for learning to become submissive while your keyholder is learning to become dominant? Any suggestions are very appreciated. Thanks
It's an age old question and one that has no simple answer. I would first remember that you have had knowledge of this and been fantasising for a while. I would think your wife has only recently heard about it from you and it trying to play catch up. If she is anything like me she will be researching on the web and unfortunately will find a lot of pages saying she has to be some uber domme. That's why I ended up writing my books for males and females on the subject. To try and inject some reality into the information available. Just think, for many females, helping their partner realise their sexual fantasies was a couple of hours dressing up and some role play. Chastity is a much more full on fantasy and that can take some getting used to and can be very intrusive on the rest of daily life when you are just trying to get things done. Us ladies are very seldom interested in paying attention to your locked status when we are up to our eyeballs in work or domestic trials. I would suggest lots of romance and going slow. Full on slave is not something many females would know about, never mind get involved in. Enjoy these beginnings and try to work out what she enjoys and how to meld that with what you enjoy. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
If you read your post again, does it not feel a little like the submissive is trying to dictate to the dominant how she is expected to behave? I understand your frustrations, honestly. But I wonder if you're trying to rush things too much. This is a significant change for your partner. She has to become accustomed to it.
Both of you are making total sense and I really appreciate bring me down. I get in my head a bit much. She came home tonight and grabbed me by the cage and gave me a hug kiss and told me she missed me. That alone made me so happy. If I'm in this for the long haul, I need to chill and appreciate everything she does for me.
I'm in the same boat, Man. Except my wife wants nothing to do with chastity. She has said she loves being waited on, though
I would have to agree with @Mistress Jules she probably has the most knowledge on the subject on this web site. What your doing is trying to change how your wife thinks and change is never an easy thing it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. Personally I went for almost Four months with my wife hardly paying any attention to me or my caged cock. During that time I stayed committed to serving her it wasn't always easy but I continued to Unconditionally serve. all the best to you as you continue to struggle with this changing time in your life.
I have to say, I didn't have to learn......it was something I yearned for......and have now been lucky enough to have found the right woman to be my Mistress!
Since it was you that brought all this up, I suggest going at whatever pace she feels comfortable at. I am sure it is easier said than done. Some things you can do to fill the gap: I know this is cliche, but it’s true...work on whatever it is that she would appreciate. It could be something that you’ve put off like cleaning the garage, or something more routine like getting up early to make her coffee or start her car etc. She will notice. Start a blog. Having a place to vent, share fantasies, and share your interest helps alleviate feeling neglected. Text her. I don’t know your relationship but texting your thoughts, feelings, and fantasies by sending gifs and memes really opens eyes and hearts. Don’t start it with a domme holding a whip, a classy romantic one where a man is being held by a comforting woman with a nice saying about submission would be a great start. As the texts back and forth escalate, so can your material involve what you would like to do for her, and she may respond with what she would like to do to you. Let her know how much you miss being away from her and that you find her more desirable every day. She should know how you’re feeling. Did I mention try to make life easier? I know it can be tough if her input is not what you were looking for, but treat each day as a day of fore play and envision that every thing you do that makes her world better is turning her on. These are my tricks to help keep me on task.