Lauren's Journal

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by lauren1fem, Dec 16, 2008.

Random Thread
  1. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Thanks Miss D and Maid Rose for all for the responses and ideas.

    Maid Rose I love the detail you provide... It's got me excited about this project, but it may be awhile before Lauren dons a LBD, but we'll just have to see.

    Miss D et all, you surely know by now how much of a n00b I am at this whole lifestyle. I'm learning slowly from all of you and hopefully one day my fantasies can become more than that. I realize that after 20 years of vanilla sex, my wife and I aren't going to completely transition to D/s over night. I want to move fast with my expression of 'Lauren' D/s, chastity, etc., but feel that the only successful path should be SLOW. It sure it frustrating - in a bad way as you say - but in the end I really hope we get there one day.

    And yes Miss D, Lauren doesn't want to alter her breasts with mondo huge jugs. She loves that she has an "athletic" build up top and revels in the slender appearance of her natural silhouette.
     
  2. Miss D
    Offline

    Miss D Expert In Femming

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2008
    Messages:
    775
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:30 AM
    Let Me clear up one thing lauren.. For the slinky look in a LBD - I do prefer au natural. But at other times, seeing a gurl with huge breasts (water ballons work quite nicely) is also appropriate. Depends on the look you are going for...

    The nice thing about having a Mistress in charge of a gurl's femming is that the Mistress decides on the particular look for Her gurl. A wise Mistress will make sure Her gurl learns a variety of looks - each appropriate for a particular task or setting. She would be mindful of her gurl's preference, certainly... But there are many, many ways to display a gurl's sexuality. Who knows? you may learn that you really like other ways to look along the way...
     
  3. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Latest update

    I know it's been a while since I last posted anything in my journal - that's due to inactivity that is worthy of this journal... Anyway, I got to take a bit of break from the usual grind and visit a friend who runs a bio-tech lab. She took me all around to see her research and it was a lot of fun. I learned a lot about this field and found out a few things about her too. Prior to leaving for this little field trip I packed up my car with all my girly gear in case the mood struck. I also was wearing my favorite black boi-short panties and camisole under my street clothes so I was definitely feeling spry and femme.

    After the tour I went back to my car, found a secluded place to slip into thigh high red stockings, heels, my plaid mini, and a pink bra which I stuffed for effect. (I love to see my breasts and cleavage pressed against the seat belt). I didn't bother with makeup or my blond china-doll wig - It just seemed like too much work and I was feeling a bit lazy - bad girl!

    I set off for a drive and enjoyed cruising and feeling all vulnerable to the other drivers that passed by - could they see me wearing my miniskirt, or my bright red stockings? Eeek.

    After a bit I parked and felt the need to walk about in a secluded, but public area and snap a few pics. I didn't like how the pictures were turning out, but it was getting me really horny. I jumped back into the car and drove a bit further and found yet another location for some photos. I got scared and scampered back to the car when a mysterious car drove past. Eeek again. I'm such a scaredy cat, but I was worried that I looked too slutty for prying eyes and wasn't in the mood for any kind of actual confrontation. What if I got cat-calls from a bunch of boys or men? What if they tried to overtake me and then found out I wasn't a girl? No. noo, nooo. That's not a scene that Lauren wants to have - although if a bunch of girls overtook her and then held her down and exposed her and laughed and made a fuss over her - that would be different. Lauren would struggle a little at first, but she would be completely at the mercy of these girls - a fantasy come true!

    Again I drove off and found an empty building that was for lease and parked, got out and was trying to shoot a video of Lauren strutting away from the camera towards her car with the sun at her back. It was going nicely when a car was headed right into the parking lot! Super double eek now. I jumped in the car and decided I had had enough of this. [Turns out the car was just turning around, but they (a woman) definitely saw me and I/Lauren was all flummoxed]. I quickly changed and drove home feeling rather frustrated and horny from the day's ordeal. I decided to stay in my bra, panties and cami until I got home and could then slip off my bra and get comfortable for the evening.

    During the evening I read some very interesting information about some 50's and 60's femme domme magazines. That must have been a daring and brave time for our sissy and dominatrix community. Something for another thread/post perhaps...

    As bedtime approached my wife slipped off a few minutes before me, so when I entered the bedroom I decided I'd undress in the dark but leave my camisole and panties on for sleepy time. Of course I'm still horny and it's cold so I slide over and grab her pajama-clad leg and press it into my legs and crotch for warmth. She responded and we start playing around a bit - kissing and holding. She slides her hand down to touch me and feels my boi shorts and doesn't hesitate. She slides her hand under my panties and touches my bottom, strokes me and caresses my back and bottom. It feels safe and that is very soothing - we're making slow progress with her awareness of my femming. I'm feeling so horny and she seems okay to touch me inside my panties... I'm thinking "oh, if only she would spank me for being a naughty boy" and all sorts of fantasy images flashing through my head. I am feeling alternating thoughts of aggressive (boy) and submissive (girl).

    We quickly tear our own clothes off - I hesitate - but decide to take off my panties too. I start touching her and bring her off quicker than normal. Then I just lay there snuggled into her breast listening to her heart beating - it's not slowing down... Okay my turn now...

    So that's my post of yesterday's fun-filled day... It was a good day.
     
  4. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    Lauren, dollyanne misses your posts and anything you post, even humdrum vanilla or pure gurly thoughts are WORTHY!

    "Have girly clothes, will travel!" Dollyanne loves how lauren just "happens" to have her girly things packed and ready to travel! And the little sleeper phrase, "found out a few things about her too," hmmm...makes dolly curious! Maybe she happened to notice your cami!

    Not just any girly clothes! We're talking pure :slut: here! Streetwalking pick-me-up-big-boy red stockings, heels, mini, and pink stuffed bra! BTW, dollyanne loves your china-doll wig and wants one too!

    Dollyanne knows this feeling--especially if you're in a low sedan. There are sooo many SUVs and truck drivers on the road who can see right in! Thrilling, but scary too! And, those truck drivers will CB ahead to other truck drivers to be on the lookout for the hot number in the slut red stockings and sexy mini!

    Lauren--the expert at finding seedy secluded abandoned buildings and alleyways to strut her stuff! Dolly would love to see a picture--even a blurry out of focus one!

    Part of the thrill and the fantasy! But still, better safe than sorry. It's amazing how vulnerable you can feel in this position--much what real girls must feel like walking through strange neighborhoods with boys hanging out on the street corners! Imagine lauren sashaying past a sorority house and getting captured by a group of sorority girls and made into their little play doll for their upcoming party with the fraternity boys!

    Ooooh...that would be an interesting video! (Hint, hint...)

    Dollyanne loves this era too and it would make an interesting thread!

    Still in your cami and panties?! Wow...your wife must be getting turned on by this, lauren! Things definitely appear to be moving in a good direction for you--toward your inner desire to be feminine! It sounds like you are gradually upping the ante and getting braver and braver with her in bed! And, she is taking to it like a duck to water!

    Nice post, lauren! Definitely a good day! Dollyanne would love to have a day like that--thrilling and exciting gurly adventures, and ending in passionate sex with you at least partially en femme. To top it off, you learned something about bio-tech, too! Definitely a good day! Thanks for sharing it with us, lauren! Now, about those pictures and video...

    Huggs,
    :manga_heatwave:
    dollyanne
     
  5. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    The question has been submitted

    Last night we were playing around in bed. It was a vanilla night (naturally), but of course my mind was always looking for an opening. As I stroked my wife's pussy and fondled her breasts we were talking about sex being like a hunger. She mentioned that it was more like that for me, but not her. "All guys are like that", she said, "Women aren't that way"...

    Well folks: I took a chance and said that "I wondered what it would be like to be all locked up with you as owner of my keys."
    She said "Okay" -as if that statement made her quite uncomfortable, but what the hell as long as your pleasuring me I'll go along with your pillow talk.

    I played a bit more and mentioned it again. "It would be fun to be all locked up and not be able to cum with you being the owner of my... penis."
    Again she replied with "Okay..."

    I'm sure she thought of this as just "kinky pillow talk", but hey. I said it and for at least the next few days/weeks I'll be spellbound in my own private world hoping and yearning for a reality where I could be held in chastity and controlled absolutely by her.
     
  6. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    5:30 AM
    Woo hoo! Let's hope the seeds are planted for you! :)
     
  7. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Thanks Mikecb. So yeah, it's out there now. No turnin' back I guess...
    Happy Super Bowl Day!
     
  8. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Blew off work and went shopping

    I went window shopping today for an LBD. It was sort of an afterthought, but I decided to look at really nice stuff since I was in a daydreamy mood anyway. I wasn't really ready to buy a dress today anyway so I decided I would look at the really fine stuff that's out there and dream away... So I visited several department stores downtown just to see what they had.

    First was Nordstrom's - Their second floor was exclusively ladies clothing so it was fun just being up there and getting a few looks and glances my way. "What is he doing here?" I saw some fine dresses starting around $135 which seemed like a lot of money, but they were nice.

    Next I went to Saks 5th Avenue knowing I'd find very expensive clothing there. First floor - there were a few dresses starting at $385 that I liked. Gee that's a lot of money to spend, but I'd do it if I knew the size was right on. Then I went upstairs where there were more exclusive clothes. I found this darling one hanging on a rack for 'me'. It was a Ralph Lauren - $895. Okay, so this girl Lauren has quite expensive taste - I knew my guy tastes run high, but the gurl in me was ready to die for that dress! It was just so pretty and all I wanted to do was drape it over my bod and see myself in a mirror... (Dream away gurl)... And the first one I glanced at was a size 8 - hmmm, I might just be able to slip into it although I'm probably more of a size 10 if memory serves. What am I to do? Well a picture is worth a thousand words... This image below may not be the exact dress that I was looking at, but my Lauren might kill for this "Lauren" anyway.

    pPOLO2-5411227_standard_v330.jpg

    Okay, should have left wallet at home; will to conserve is weakening, must control self... Better leave store NOW. *Whew*

    I made it out of there without even passing by the Chanel and Givenchy departments! [When they have their own love seats and inner doors to the bouitique within the store - even I know I don't belong there.] Back on the street and feeling under control again. *breathe girl, breathe*

    It really wasn't the price of that dress so much. I loved that dress before I had even looked at the brand or price. It was like I was hypnotized for a moment. All my inner gurl wanted was to be in that dress - I was yearning and it felt wonderful! (I've never felt this way as a guy shopping for like a chainsaw or belt sander or anything else, but my inner gurl really loves this yearning/angst feelings when shopping! Okay I admit, when I go car shopping I do get pretty excited.)

    Now onto Macy's. They also had nice dresses - in the $300 range or below. But I was so flummoxed by my trip into Saks that I was kind of numb by this point.

    So I'll bet you're wondering at this point... Did I buy anything? ... No. I did not. On my way home I was kind of melancholy - sort of like down after my shopping high. I think I'm really getting the hang of this "girl-stuff". I love the way I feel when I can do this and escape my boy life and be all girl. It's so much fun!
     
  9. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    These days I find myself really examining women I meet in day-to-day life and see so many things I admire. I watch commercials and make all sorts of comments about the female models that only women would make. I think my wife must think I'm going nuts sometimes since I pick up on things she doesn't.

    Am I more girl than boy? I guess the answer is that I really don't care anymore! - Lauren is coming out stronger than ever before.

    This really happened because of my 10 day extended "exposure" in December. Combine that with the realization I made when I googled "sissy" and found the Chastity Mansion - a collection of truly sensitive caring people who have helped my realize some things I've been repressing for a loooong time.

    I feel like the word "sissy" fits me pretty dang well. It seems to have freed me from a lot of apprehensions I've had with other definitions I have of myself over the years. This forum feels so right for me to share things that are turning out to be therapeutic for me.
    :CMrocks:
    Right now, I'm in a pretty good mood even if I can't "be all and do all" in my current reality. I guess it's good to always be wanting something more in life than what you have. - It drives me forward I suppose.
     
  10. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    Wow...lauren! Dollyanne is envious! Now, it looks like all you have to do is lock on the chastity, have a key presentation ceremony, dangle the keys in front of her and say, "Honey, you remember our conversation about the chastity keys and you said 'Okay'...well...here they are!"

    It sounds like you are on your way, lauren!

    Huggs,
    :happy0030:
    dollyanne
     
  11. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    Wow, lauren, dollyanne needs to go shopping with you! If nothing else just to smell and feel the fabric! This makes dollyanne's $29.95 LBD finds sound positively trashy!

    Dollyanne knows this inner gurl feeling--you want that dress sooo much, it looks sooo cute and you would look sooo cute in it! Dolly gets excited by cars too, but it's different. (Dolly saw the cutest pink Beetle recently and desperately wanted it! Imagine driving a pink Beetle in your LBD and china-doll wig!)

    Dolly concurs--it's a great feeling to harmonize with your inner girl. And then a downer to come back to humdrum boy life. But, speaking of inner girl, we're all looking forward to seeing lauren in that cute LBD!

    Great post!

    Huggs,
    :manga_bath:
    dollyanne
     
  12. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    This sounds like a great place to be. Being more in touch with your inner girl helps you also get more in touch with your emotions and feelings, something that most men can't do or don't even understand. Dolly feels it is definitely therapeutic also. Dollyanne found some interesting writings on the Web by a UK author named Vernon Coleman who discusses the therapeutic nature of cross dressing for relieving stress. Here's one of his many articles: Crossdressing-Save the World!

    Huggs,
    :butterfly:
    dollyanne
     
  13. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Shopping for the fun of it - LBD blues

    Now I wasn't really going to buy something this ridiculously expensive. It's just that it was fun to daydream and fantasize that I "might". I enjoyed imagining my gurlself in such a raging-hot dress! It made me feel really sexy and a gurl needs that doesn't she? I was wandering though the stores in "shopper delirium" - a distant cousin to "slut delirium" I should think. (Maybe I can combine the two feelings next time out - although I probably won't be able to walk straight). In the end I'll probably go for something I pick up somewhere cheap, but then again on the other hand... Someday I'll get my own LBD, but I'm taking my time and savoring every minute of it.

    Oh and thanks for the link to the CD article... I'll give it read just as soon as I can sweetie.
     
  14. Miss D
    Offline

    Miss D Expert In Femming

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2008
    Messages:
    775
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:30 AM
    lauren has shopping frenzy... There's a place near where I live that offers designer clothes at rock bottom prices. Every time I go there, I see Women in shopping frenzy - taking several dresses, skirts and tops into the dressing rooms - going back for more. Of course, I'm more practical - I use one of those rolling racks so I can get everything in one trip... I always feel sorry for the solo Lady that doesn't have a friend there for a second opinion though. Try suggesting a shopping trip with your wife lauren - it's far more fun than shopping alone - even if you are there for a second opinion only. I'll bet you would make a perfect shopping companion.

    A nice LBD should be in the price range of $70 to $120 unless of course, you're a rich gurl. It's not everyday wear, so it's expected to cost a little more than casual clothes. One thing to consider is that the dress needs to be hung up neatly in a closet - not tossed into a drawer somewhere. A nice dress should be dry-cleaned exclusively. Washing machines are a definite no no - they really affect the fabric (I've learned the hard way).

    Noticing Women and how they dress, act or behave, in general, is something a girl does from an early age. Children try to emulate the adults in their life. It doesn't surprise Me at all that lauren finds herself watching and noticing - a very good sign.. And actually, quite significant, because it means that lauren is identifying more and more with the female gender. Little boys want to grow up to be fireman or football players. Little girls want to be a princess or a model. A very stereotypical thing to say but you get the point. I encourage you to watch Women and emulate those behaviors that you think best suit you. In a surprisingly short period of time - you'll find yourself copying their gestures and manners without even thinking about it. Of course, being dressed up yourself, adds an additional element - you'll feel feminine as well.

    So the question is - when does lauren have her talk with the wife about how she feels? Perhaps, even now, your wife is noticing little differences in you but hasn't decided how to approach you about it. What do you think lauren?

    Deep into a slut delirium, lauren finds herself in shopping frenzy... We are wondering what happens to lauren next....
     
  15. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    It's sad and pathetic I know... Lauren still feels weird about talking about this with her wife. She thinks that wife is in a different, more sane reality than her. This perceived opinion will probably go on forever unless wife brings it up. Lauren is hoping that with all the signals, little conversations, the "panty incidents", etcetera (just this morning Lauren left her dirty laundry near the washer mixed in with his alter ego's clothes) that a conversation will be initiated by wife. At which point then at least she will know that wife is willing to discuss it by bringing it up...

    I find it beyond difficult to be assertive on the one thing that means a lot to me - to be submissive and sissy-like and all that goes with it. It's my nature to be submissive and I don't want to ruin what I have with her with my selfish needs. I am very scared about this so please be nice.
     
  16. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    Dollyanne understands this hesitancy too! It is very difficult to broach this subject with the spouse--especially when you're submissive. It certainly is not worth damaging the relationship. Nevertheless, dolly feels you are making such good progress, lauren. Must faster than dollyanne ever did! And, things do look quite promising from your description of things. Even if you have fits and starts, and slowdowns, it sounds like things are on a nice progressive path for you! One day, all the dominos might start tumbling down and things will move even faster than you wanted them too!

    Huggs,
    :manga_bunny:
    dollyanne
     
  17. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    OMG - Last night was so wonderful because of a few simple things my wife said to me... Let me take you there, but first a quick recap... The key to this event was that she initiated some of the "pillow talk" this time.

    I decided to lock up yesterday and wore my CB3k all day. I notice I feel quite uncomfortable over the course of the first day - my joints ache, my eyes feel like they are about to pop of their socket and I just generally don't feel well. (It's times like these that I wonder if it's worth wearing except for the budding emotional state we gurls get all frenzied up in. Wearing the damn thing usually gets better as the days progress, but whatever). As the evening wore on I decided I had had enough and took it off; not without first seriously contemplating leaving it on and placing the key on her bedside drawer - then if sex came up I would have no choice but to ask for her to unlock me - Yikes!

    ...Anyway, so I was unlocked and naked and in bed like usual and we start to make out - waiting for our teen daughter to take her boyfriend home so we can get something started. We are both getting excited and I'm on top and she pushes my chest together and says "you've got cleavage. We could tape your chest up with some duct tape. We could get you looking good in a bra or do you wear one? It would help you fill out and you'd be all nice along with the panties you wear. Of course you'd have to stuff your bra and ...". I answered that I do have and wear a bra. But that would be fun to try with her, but the tape would hurt when we'd take it off. She said that pain goes along with her desire to "pierce my ears with her teeth" - something she's kidded about for years - but obviously there's a little devilish D :bad-girl-0009: hidden deep inside my wife, don't you think?

    So I believe she's starting to enjoy the little bit of teasing and banter around my femming - this is just so nice to hear. I think she seems okay with it and it really thrills me too! It's her that initiated this little conversation, not me and that's what I've been dieing for. Later I said she had nice soft legs as I stroked her thighs. She answered back that I had nice soft legs too. Wow - it's like she's learning what pleases/teases me and has figured out how to handle me in my gurly state. I don't know where this is going, but it seems like it's all headed in the right direction.

    So I am wondering about wearing something special to bed for Valentine's :party-049: Day - like my waist-cincher, stockings and a nice pair of panties... Since she doesn't wear romantic naughty clothes, maybe I will. We'll just have to see how the week goes and if things feel right I may do just that!

    Yes, I know to most of you this tiny bit of play and pillow talk is all so tame :sign0104: and innocent, but it seems like major progress for me/us. It's just that I am finally starting to trust her with this secret :scared0016: desire I've had for so long.

    I wonder if it all started out as innocent and naive for some of the advanced people here?
     
  18. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    5:30 AM
    Lauren, Oh my gawwd! That's so awesome! You're outted about wearing bras now?!? Girl, time to wear your frilly stuff to bed EVERY night!

    Also, if I may give some advice. Go out and get her something nice - flowers or something, and just give them to her with a "Thank you for being so open minded" message.

    :party-049:

    It sounds like she suspects you have other girl clothes. Is it time, yet, to open up and show her your collection?

    I'm so happy for you. That's amazing! :)

    mikecb
     
  19. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    MikeCB - that's a Capital Idea! Thanks for that.

    Slight correction: Oh you know Lauren doesn't wear frilly these days. She wears sexy, sheer and somewhat slutty when posssible.
     
  20. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    5:30 AM
    I stand corrected! I look forward to hearing how your Wife enjoys finding you in your sluttiest outfit in bed, one night!
     
  21. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    New Chapter - yeah!

    Well it would seem that my awesome wife and I are getting quite comfortable with talking about my wearing girly stuff. Last night we were cuddling in bed - her in her usual heavy pj's and me in my sheer black boi shorts. She nudges my hips and says oh I see you are wearing your panties again aren't you?

    I thanked her again for being so open and okay with it. She still thinks it is weird that I was so secretive with her and wouldn't share this part of me with her. But even this aspect of my secret desires - I think she understands how it was my secret from the time I vowed to myself as a teen to keep it super-ultra-secret and that I wouldn't share this with anyone. But now it's okay to be open with her about it and that I can actually wear clothes in her presence. That is HUGE!

    Now, she hasn't seen me all dressed and femmed up. It's all just been panties in the dark and even that is fleeting until I strip, but it's still a BIG step for me and I love how relaxed I feel about it. She is even concerned that I should have put myself through so much stress all these years to hide this from her and that it probably wasn't healthy from a stress point of view and relationship perspective... I have to agree. (I'm only human).

    Other stuff we talked about:
    We chatted about how 20 years ago or so I dressed up in drag for Halloween and how "hot I looked" then. She wore a cave woman outfit, I wore a dead-vixen-turned-vampiress motif. She still thinks I've "got it". (Did I mention that men were actually hitting on me - though I think it was all just in jest? I was getting a lot of attention. Girls would lean over and whisper a correction on how I was sitting so I wasn't leaving my legs wide open and should sit more demurely. Guys were coming up to me and chatting me up. One drunk guy dressed up as a gangster even may not have been immediately aware that I was a male. I fondled his big fat cigar with my petite gloved fingers, and I swear it was getting him all wet. It was really a thrilling evening as I think back.)

    We also talked about how we are both sort of on the edge of our respective genders - she prefers to wear pants over dresses; I seem to prefer the opposite. I said "you don't even own a little black dress - LBD." She said she hates to wear dresses because then you have to wear pantyhose and it's all just not comfortable... (I'd love it if I could get all dressed up and sexy, showing off my legs - feeling just a little vulnerable as strangers 'drink up my visage' and I see their eyes dilate, their pulse quicken, their pants stiffen... :butterfly: No, it's not that I want to have a flaming gay affair, I just like flirting!

    I guess the fact that my wife prefers gender neutral/male-like clothing and I prefer girly stuff doesn't mean anything really, it's just a preference. I mentioned that if I was feeling romantic (since she doesn't wear sexy lingerie) - I hope she wouldn't mind if I do sometimes wear a little somethin' -- (yes, I'm slyly planning ahead for St. Valentines Day). [OMG - What if she bought me something sexy? That would be a complete reversal.]

    She mentioned that now that my secret is out it probably won't seem as thrilling for me to wear women's clothing. In answer to this I said it was still very thrilling that I can wear girl clothing, and now to be able to wear it in her presence with her knowledge - at least by touch - ; but without the stress of "getting caught" is probably the best ever!

    She wondered if all these years before she had even discovered my fetish 12 years ago if I was secretly dressing in panties when I was sleeping right next to her. (I can't really remember if I was that daring, but I admitted that I probably had. It was something I would have dared myself to do when sufficiently horny.) She also seems to realize just how oblivious she has been to all of "my little daring wearings".

    Lastly, she said she isn't really bothered by my desire to wear girl clothing. It doesn't turn her on, but it doesn't repulse her either. I guess that was my biggest worry all along and now it seems almost trivial!

    Miss D has mentioned that it might be a bit more of a shock for my wife if she actually sees me wearing the clothes. Or perhaps she may get weird once she see the extent of my wardrobe - bras, garters, high heels, corset. That's really the next step for me/us.

    And I am really hoping that once she sees me and is okay with it (please oh please), maybe it will open the door for some new forms of sex - role play, new non-vanilla sex, light bondage, toys, who knows? (Up till now and for the forseeable future we've only had vanilla sex. Nothing even remotely kinky except for a bit of tie-me-up turn-taking back when we were courting).

    I've just started to hint at spicing things up and I see it as a natural progression and I hope we could start to enjoy that. I'm not sure she will want to partake, but if I can find a way to appeal to her and make it fun somehow - maybe she'll play along and enjoy that time together with me.

    Sorry to go on and on with this post, but I wanted to share all that has happened and it's all been rather good I think.

    But without you all encouraging me, lending advice, and "just being there" over these past few months I don' think I could have ever gotten to this point :anim_37: where I feel like a new chapter has been started in my life.

    Thanks all!
     
  22. Mistress Watchful
    Offline

    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Messages:
    5,287
    Likes Received:
    876
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Basingstoke
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    9:30 AM
    I'm so SO glad this is all going so fabulously for you!

    :party-049::party-075:

    You are a great success story and one of the main reasons we have this site.

    Just one thing I wanted to say... when she does see you, try not to react to her reaction. There is a possibility that she may find seeing you femmed-up a huge turn on, and she may not be ready to accept that. So even though she may feel positive towards you, it may come across as negative.

    Just a thought from a female point of view. :manga_love:
     
  23. mikecb
    Offline

    mikecb Long term member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,554
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    5:30 AM
    Woo hoo! Sounds great!

    I had a thought. I agree that "springing" yourself on her all femmed up may be a bit of a surprise. What if you asked her, as your Valentines gift, to help you dress up? That way, you start from male (or no) clothing, and she is there for the entire thing, having fun with you.... that way, rather than ambushing her with a different look, she sees it develop.

    Just a thought... too bad she's not all girly herself.. it would probably be easier to get her to help you with makeup and stuff, if she liked it better herself.

    Anyway, it sounds like an amazing week for you. Congratulations!

    One more thought... it sounds like she is coming to the realization that you have been keeping this from her for ages. Some time soon, she might ask "Have you been keeping anything else from me?" Personally, I think that would be a great time to out yourself about the CB. I think it would be a bad idea to lie to her at this point.. you're building trust.... another thought.. wherever you stash all your gurly clothes.. stash your CB there too. When she finally asks you to see all your gurly stuff, it could be there... a conversation starter. Anyway, just rambling here... you'll know what to do. You're doing great!

    hugs,
    mikecb
     
  24. lauren1fem
    Offline

    lauren1fem Gurl

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Local Time:
    3:30 AM
    Wow Mistress Watchful and MikeCB... you are both wonderful!

    Mistress W - thanks for your feminine insight. I would not have thought of that and sometimes forget what it would be like from some other person's perspective to see me like this. I'm in my head 24/7, but this would be a first time glimpse for her, more or less.

    MikeCB - dude you have great ideas. Someone mentioned this earlier today - I too like the way your mind works. You know, I think I could actually ask her if she would help me dress up. It might be a lot of fun. I know my heart would be pounding with an....ticipation!

    Good point about the CB and my time spent on this site as well. I don't want to shock her, but if she asked I would tell.

    I am prepared to show her a few photos I have of myself if she wanted to see them. There's the one of me by my globe, and ...
     
  25. dollyanne
    Offline

    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,427
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, TX
    Local Time:
    4:30 AM
    It sounds like the dominos are definitely starting to fall, lauren. That LBD may be on its way! Good luck!

    Huggs,
    :character0093:
    dollyanne
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice