I am lamb. I was an agressive, abusive and controlling husband. About five years ago, my Wife had enough and said to me: You have two choices: you change or I leave. At first i was in shock, and later, ashamed at myself. I am in love with Her and promised that i would change. I tried to control my bad temper without much success. I was not happy. She was fearful and distant. Many crisis happened during that time. Then, about three years ago, i found, on internet, information about the DS lifestyle. Being a little kinky, i learned about it and very soon thought that it could be a solution to my problems. I talked to my Wife and suggested that She could become my Mistress and that i could become her submissive husband. After much discussion, She reluctantly accepted to give it a try. The first few months were difficult. I was reading quite bit about this kind of relationship and moved too fast for her. As many others, i tried to control from the bottom. By trial and errors (a lot of errors), we both slowly learned our new roles. All my courage is spent for today. I will continue later. lamb
Well arent you cute!!! I would think that after spending years with you as being an agressive and abusive husband, it may take Her a while to adjust to being the Dominate one. And, as do so many, you jumped too fast. Let us know how things stand at this point and how She is coping. It says here you are not locked, do you have a chastity device? It would be nice if your Mistress would join us here, I for one would love to chat with Her! Take care little lamb, Mistress Michelle
i feel chastity and servitude has the potential to make for a very loving and strong union, under certain conditions... in my humble opinion, i feel trusting each other is very, very important. if trust was lost due to emotional, sexual, financial dishonesty or physical abuse, then it may be a difficult road back. the good news is even the worst dishonesty or abuse can be forgiven by the offended party. speaking from personal experience, contemporary relationship and marriage counselors advocate maintaining the relationship by working to resolve AND correct the problem. the guilty one has to make ammends, and a compassionate partner would understanding this, be supportive, and set a timeline. This is in contrast to the 1970's philosophy of 'if it feels good, do it' school of thought that promoted break-ups and the kinds of behaviors that i feel lead to the current financial crisis. it's common knowledge that once emotional, sexual, or financial trust is broken it takes one heck of an effort to forgive it. things may be the same after the abuse/dishonesty is revealed, depending upon the willingness of the guilty one to make ammends. then again, things may not be the same as before, but at least it's a starting point... in my humble opinion, of course!
More control Thank you ladylionzsissy and Mistress Michelle for your kind comments. You are absolutely right. I was too fast. It has taken two years before Mistress "accepted" Her dominant status and Her journey continues with ups and downs. Trust was lost between us and confidence still remains to be built. I work hard on it. I try the best i can to help Her be Herself without topping from the bottom. It is a great challenge. What i would like Mistress to do is a lot different than what she wants. This caused many conflicts between us during the last two years. Most of them were my fault. How should i behave to be a good submissive husband ? Good question. I am still working on it. When Mistress took control of the household finances, i was not happy. The way it is today, i must require Mistress approval before buying anything for myself. This is not easy. It has always been very difficult for me to ask permission to anybody for anything. Last year, Mistress also took control of Her bedroom. I am still allowed to sleep in Mistress bed but need to behave like the sub i am. For sex, i may, once a week, kneel before Mistress and beg for release. This is very humiliating for me. Of course, Mistress decides if, when and how i may (or most often may not) be allowed to cum. I am not belted (yet) but, for all practical purposes, chastised. I suggested a couple of times that it would be easier for me if i could wear a chastity belt but Mistress decided against it for now. I am not even allowed to talk about it anymore. I do not like it but that is what Mistress wants. So be it. Lately, Mistress had both my ears pierced and i always wear the earrings She has chosen. They are the symbol of my submission. She also bought me a dozen pair of panties that i have been required to wear since. It is not easy when i go to the doctors office. She thinks it softens my temper and helps me behave. My kinky side would like to explore further my feminine self but it is up to Mistress. lamb
lamb, Although you do not have exactly what you want....I must say, you are further along than alot of subs out there, most do not even have a Mistress, and if they have a wife they are too afraid to discuss with them what thier fantasys really are. That being said, I feel from reading your post that you are doing what you need to do, and are truely trying, so keep up the good work, it will pay off in time. Is your Mistress happy now?? Thats all that really matters, so, please Her, submit to Her, and honor Her and all else will fall into place in time. Mistress Michelle
Reality is boring At the end of October, i will have to formally renew my vows of submission and obedience. I have to promise Mistress that i will be a submissive and obedient husband for the year to come and that i will obey any order Mistress gives me, without question. I am still surprised to see how it has become easy to do it all the time. As this post probably is, my family and social life are quite "normal" and somewhat boring. Fantasy is exciting. Real life is often boring. I would love it to be kinkier but those wishes have not been fulfilled for now. On the other hand, Mistress life is fun. She goes out one or two nights a week with Her friends while i stay home doing my chores. At first, i had problems with that but i am used to it now. The good thing is that Mistress always got back home at night, until now This week She ordered me to make Her bed if She does not do it first thing in the morning (it is one of the chores She kept for Herself). So, from now on, i will have to check that every morning. It seems a very little thing but it is a new challenge for me as i feel that i am trained to be her maid. Or maybe i am just dreaming. Anyway, i have certainly become Her 24/7 submissive. This lifestyle has slowly made me feel at peace with myself, less stressed and quite happy. Most important, my adored Mistress/Wife keeps staying with me. I will continue learning from other participants to this forum. I hope to become a better husband and a better human being. From time to time, i will tell here how it goes Lamb
this is really good to hear, Lamb, and i wish you both continued happiness! with all it's ups and downs, and unrelenting service and submission, the chastity lifestyle can really make a good union even better!!
Paradise lost Last weekend, Mistress organised a little trip to visit (vanilla) friends. We went away on Friday night and returned home on Sunday. Did nothing special; a little lingerie shopping with Mistress, a lot of cooking, and pampered Mistress all weekend. Drank a little (too much) wine and had a lot of fun. On Sunday night, i beg Mistress not to go back home. I wished it would have lasted forever. Of course i knew it was not possible as everybody had to go to work on Monday morning. When i woke up to the real world on Monday i felt i had lost paradise. This week, i am devoting myself completely to Mistress in the hope She may put me in chastity soon. lamb
I have a hard time getting past your avatar....I just want to snuggle you!!! Now...you know you cant stay in paradise silly boy! I do hope your Mistress soon locks you, then She will see what a truly submissive male can accomplish. Maybe She will soon, and that will give you something else to think about! Mistress Michelle:sex020:
I agree with Mistress Michelle... I love that display picture! I'm sorry your weekend had to end... here's hoping you gain solace in your daily duties. :animal0008:
Pierced again Thanks to both of you, Mistress Michelle and Mistress Watchful for your kind comments. I am honoured to be the subject of your attention. My avatar represents what i would like to be, not what i am. So, i have a lot of work in front of me. I will try to be a very good girl this week. Yesterday, Mistress got me another piercing. It was fourth one. Still hurts a little but it will be healed soon. lamb
Re: Piercing Inquiring minds asking legitimate questions deserve true answers. This piercing is on the left ear lobe. Nothing kinky. But everybody can see this one and Mistress says it make me look cute. It will take me a little bit of time to get used to it. lamb
Last post Hi everybody, Last November, soon after i joined the forum, Mistress decided to put our D/s relationship on ice. She wanted to think it over. This was completely unexpected. i abruptly stopped working on this thread i just started and i apologize for this. i was kind of lost for the last 6 months. Well, waiting time is over. Last week Mistress told me She was ready to take Her sub back and that from now on, She was serious. i dont know exactly what to think about it but i can feel something is different. We began discussing what She calls, a new marriage contract. To my amazement, She told me She will buy a CB-6000 and that soon, i would feel totally possessed. Something has definitely changed in Her attitude and Her little smile worries me a bit. So, here i am, submissive again, but this time, for better or worse, a soon to be chastised sub. Please note that i will be closing this thread. i will update my profile, edit my avatar, and start a new thread soon. Best regards to you all. lamb