Ladies.... when you’re not feeling it

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by BKwife, May 24, 2020.

Random Thread
  1. BKwife
    Offline

    BKwife Key holder of Gigaman
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    May 14, 2018
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    Fellow keyholders, what’s your go to when you know your man is craving your attention but you’re not feeling it/tired or whatever. Guys, I’d love your input too as to what your partner can do to satisfy your need for attention when there isn’t a lot of time or energy
     
  2. MrsBR_Saiph
    Offline

    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2019
    Messages:
    291
    Likes Received:
    1,065
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Ontario, Canada
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    A quick spanking does the trick. Quick, easy, puts him in that glorious subspace with very little time and energy from me.
     
  3. Servant in Chief
    Offline

    Servant in Chief New member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2020
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southern part of the Netherlands
    Local Time:
    3:10 PM
    I like this! Anything that is clear and unambiguous will do to convey Her message.
     
    Dogchasecats and BKwife like this.
  4. Jessica Alexander
    Offline

    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    1,356
    Likes Received:
    2,432
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston
    Local Time:
    2:10 PM
    Put your hand on his cage and tell him, “you are staying locked because that’s exactly where I want you and that’s all I want right now.” He won’t feel locked and forgot and get a little thrill that you are actively expressing your power and deneying him.
     
  5. BR_Saiph
    Offline

    BR_Saiph Self-published author

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2018
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    626
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    Or similar but she asks "How are things?", Clearly implying the chastity and her awareness of it.
    Once I respond that things are good, the perfunctory nod and subsequent 'cruel' dismissal of my situation drops me into the zone.
     
  6. Xileh
    Offline

    Xileh Happily Serving

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2018
    Messages:
    359
    Likes Received:
    837
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:10 AM
    Thank you for recognizing this is important. You are very special to be making an effort.

    I think many people are feeling this way to varying degrees right now. He probably knows you are not at the top of your game, so any effort should be appreciated. Let him know you are challenged. If he is paying attention, he may step up and take a little pressure off of you.

    Simple actions or words can have a large impact on him. A suggestive statement can be very powerful. A light caress, a tug, a threat, a swat, it does not need to be complex or time consuming. Tease him with a little display of skin at bed time. His reaction may perk you up a bit.

    A hug and a kiss always works.

    FLR, chastity, vanilla, whatever. This is normal. He will have those days too.
     
  7. MissyB
    Online

    MissyB Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2019
    Messages:
    2,470
    Likes Received:
    3,164
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Occupation:
    maid, (I wish)
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Tennessee hills
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    I find that simple commands do a lot. Saying i need to do something, or provide a service, or display some proof of my submissive position, can have a big impact. Often you think, Mistress is busy elsewhere, but a simple statement can refresh your obedience to her.
     
  8. King Hippo
    Online

    King Hippo Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2020
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    I personally feel it is important to give simple reminders that you haven't forgotten they are locked up. Little touches through the day, pull their shirt to bring them closer, pats/grabbing...

    This gentle reminders keep people aroused and interested even keeping a small light at the end of the tunnel.
     
  9. Mistress2U
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2019
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    320
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Leader
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest US
    Local Time:
    8:10 AM
    Those are the times that I resort to BDSM. Not sure if it's taboo on here, as to I don't hear many talk about it.
    A nice tight spread eagle, use of a butt plug, or a hood w/ a straight jacket. Very simple to implement while allowing me to get his attention. Yet, I can roll over and go to sleep or do whatever it is I please.
     
  10. MissyB
    Online

    MissyB Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2019
    Messages:
    2,470
    Likes Received:
    3,164
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Occupation:
    maid, (I wish)
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Tennessee hills
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    That would certainly work for me - some time kneeling in my humbler would make me feel very appreciative of my role.
     
  11. Clearstatic
    Offline

    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2019
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Carolina
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM

    This.

    The simplest things make me crazy.
     
  12. Disciplined Boyfriend
    Offline

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    1,239
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NE Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:10 PM
    Just try saying no.

    Surely the one with the keys is in charge?

    Alternately try counting up out loud: "one", "two", "three"... Decide if these are days, weeks, months or years before you "can be bothered again".
     
  13. cjack
    Offline

    cjack Junior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    17
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:10 PM
    Oh my!!
     
    Dogchasecats and BKwife like this.
  14. Clearstatic
    Offline

    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2019
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Carolina
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    The other night my wife got me. I knew I wasn't getting unlocked but I wanted to hear her orgasm. So I cuddled up and started a little foreplay. She played along. I went to pull her pajamas off and she pulls them back up. "Ok that's it, good night." And she rolled over and went to sleep.

    I was straining hard that night.
     
  15. King Hippo
    Online

    King Hippo Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2020
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    As you can see from every post here, all you need to do is "keep playing the game". Anything that shows him that you are still interested does the job.
     
  16. RC-Oz
    Offline

    RC-Oz Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2020
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    107
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Queensland
    Local Time:
    11:10 PM
    Some of these suggestions seem like a lot of effort for someone who is “not feeling it or tired”.
    I have to add my vote for a pat on the cage and a little chuckle or smirk. Minimum effort, serious impact. Should increase his motivation to pamper you more just when you need it the most.
     
    Dylan57, Dogchasecats and BKwife like this.
  17. Gigaman
    Offline

    Gigaman Property of BKwife

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2017
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    992
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    I don’t think it’s taboo at all. In fact I enjoy it mentally as long as BKwife doesent get to rough. Big difference between funisment and BK Punishment!
     
    Dogchasecats, BKwife and Allen1987 like this.
  18. Clearstatic
    Offline

    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2019
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Carolina
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    I agree with this too.
     
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  19. Mistress2U
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2019
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    320
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Leader
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest US
    Local Time:
    8:10 AM
    Actually, he puts on the cuffs or straight jacket. All I do is buckle them up. Effortless. Many days after working 12+ hours, I'm wiped and have no energy to concoct something up and make it happen.
     
  20. maid julie
    Offline

    maid julie Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2015
    Messages:
    551
    Likes Received:
    430
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    service tech
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    NJ
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    Yes all it takes is a short and sweet comment so he knows you have not forgot about it. Even a simple I’am not feeling up to it and I am so glad you have that on. A quick peck on the cheek and keep on walking by and he will not be sure what just happened. Or like one day Mistress says to me I have so much going on and I am so stressed right now I want you to put that thing on so I do not have to worry about pleasing you.
     
    Vanillabusting and Rectrix like this.
  21. Clearstatic
    Offline

    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2019
    Messages:
    327
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South Carolina
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    If it works for you, great! Not downplaying you at all.

    Not all of us have a partner that even would allows a straight jacket in the house. So that in itself would be a monumental undertaking.

    Seriously happy for the two of you that even your not in the mood play involves cuffs or a straight jacket. I could only image what goes on when you are in the mood!
     
    Dogchasecats, Mistress2U and RC-Oz like this.
  22. Ilikebond
    Offline

    Ilikebond Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2014
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    387
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    8:10 AM
    My wife just tells me she doesn’t want to play tonight. I leave her alone and go reload some ammo or something.
     
  23. MRS.Lilith
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2019
    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    1,027
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    3:10 PM
    If I am tired I often tease him with a little edging, and then ask for something I want him to do to earn his next session. So for example I ask him to take me somewhere I want to go the next day, and if he satisfies me he gets to earn a session with more attention.

    But sometimes I also flat out deny him, he needs to remember who's in charge sometimes. He likes that he never knows what I am going to decide.
     
  24. Rectrix
    Offline

    Rectrix Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    1,920
    Likes Received:
    3,489
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    9:10 AM
    Several of the answers point out how simple it can be: a simple squeeze with an explicit statement that she's happy you'll remain caged for her or a reminder that she controls your erection is enough. Never let a day go by without simply reminding him of his locked and denied status.
     
  25. lockit
    Offline

    lockit Advanced Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,598
    Likes Received:
    1,016
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    London
    Local Time:
    2:10 PM
    I like the idea he does the preperation for the bondage.
     
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice