KHs - Talk - Tell us How YOU Do it.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you both bother with an ex who has cheated on you and his current wife? In any other instance where I've known a cheater, the relationship usually ends in a volitile fashion. How is it the three of you worked things out to live in this kind of dynamic? I can see this working when the cheater really feels as though they've made a mistake and their partner is willing to give them another chance if the explanation is honest. But the fact that he's a repeat offender makes me wonder why he would want to live in a chastity relationship if he's already strayed from two women and has probably has a record of doing so in his past. I could see it working if their was a really strong friendship and he wanted to deal with his problem of cheating by using chastity. Also, again if you don't mind me asking, is there more of a relationship for you and his current wife that goes beyond friendship. Anyway I read your post and am super curious how all of this developed. If you're up to sharing I'm sure we'd all love to her more.

 

Ah. Long story, but is how it started for us. Wife was and is close friend of mine since school and she was very upset. And it turned out he'd been a serial cheater with others too and not going to change unless prevented. So this way not only ensured he couldn't but also preserved her roof and other assets plus the outward looking facade. And I was motiviated to be the enforcer sexually as (a) I'd been hurt and didn't want others hurt like that and (b) I could get domestic chores done for me to boot. And my relationship with her is a very deep friendship but not sexual. She's not bi nor lesbian; neither am I. Else she's as vanilla as they come. Doesn't really even believe in divorce.

 

I'm at work tonite. The hotel is full, but everything's going OK, so I'm bored for now.

My wants and needs come first. Isn't this supposed to be all about me?

 

Yes it is always about the Doms , Mistress needs wants it s been that way with myself and my Mistress now partner , we married recently. We live true Femdom lifestyle. Have since she suggested it over 2 yrs ago . You come first Ms. Always!

 

How do I/We do it...that has changed for us.

I had never really heard much about male chastity when I had first met my footman (husband).
When we met, got to know each other, and then finally started talking about what we like intimately, what he told me was not what I expected. Although none of what he said scared me, I was a little shocked, but mainly curious.

I came from a very VANILLA life. So this was all new to me. And I am not a Googler. So I relied on him at first to tell me what he liked and enjoyed. However, that presented it's own set of problems.
He had a good idea of what his fantasies were, and what he'd like to try. BUT, once trying some of those, it didn't always do for him what he thought it would. After a little bit of time, we took a break from male chastity.

When we decided to try this again, I was different. I went about this with a different mindset. I decided that if he said he wanted to try something, I would take it into consideration, but that I was going to do this MY way. After all, isn't that the way a KH is supposed to do this?

This is how I do this (and my footman is MUCH happier):
1. I make it a conscious thought in my mind every day. I go as far as to ask myself "What activity do I want us to do today?". That can be anything as simple as letting him worship my legs and feet (which is something he told me he likes to do), to something more involved like an entire scene (I usually pick a date in advance for this).

2. I have a To-Do list for my footman. This includes the daily/weekly chores as well as random things that need to be done. Each chore on this list is given a point value. I usually tell him 1 - 3 chores to complete that day. On rare days I give him a choice between 2 equally valued chores. When he completes chores, he lets me know it is done and I keep count of his points. He also has a "menu". On this menu are a few things he likes to do (PIV, edging, extra scene). Each menu item is worth a certain number of points. Once he's accrued enough points for an item, he can redeem those points.

3. I used to ask him to do something or if he would like to do something. No more of that. That defeats the whole purpose of this. So now, mostly, I remember to tell him to do something.

4. I remember that sometimes you have to keep it simple. Not every day has to be an elaborate array of chastity related activities. Some days I just let him bathe me. Other days I will spend the extra time to milk him (but honestly, when I take the time to do it right, it doesn't take long). Point is, I make this work with my current schedule, mood, and lifestyle.

5. I have never thought negatively about this new male chastity lifestyle. Ever since my footman told me that he enjoys this, I have wanted to try it. I have wanted to get better at being a KH. And so I never think of this like a job or work. I think of this as a way we both receive pleasure, and it all began because of his want for this, and my desire to try it since he does all he can to please me EVERY day with our everyday life and tasks.

6. I keep in mind that I don't have to learn everything about this all at once. That would be too overwhelming. Once I become comfortable with the basics, and they become second nature, then comes learning new tricks Start with the basics, master those, then add to it.

That's how we do this.

- Beautiful