Keyholders...A couple of things you have found to be fun or surprising in your chastity journey?

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Greatlakes guy, Mar 1, 2019.

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  1. Greatlakes guy
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    #1 Greatlakes guy, Mar 1, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2019
    Hi everyone, just a question intended to share with my vanilla wife, and possibly spark a conversation on the topic. Particularly interested in responses from a keyholders perspective... Just wondering about some words of encouragement for her... things you've found fun, surprising, or even not-so-fun. How has chastity impacted your everyday life or your sex life? Thanks!
     
  2. Robinoh
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    Robinoh Active member

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    Welcome!
     
  3. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    We started out slow. I had to kick the masturbation habit. One week with no "O", Two weeks with no "O", Etc. Till we got to a month. I found myself addicted to touching my wife. I would do anything to give her a foot rub, back rub, snuggle. I even told her that her comfort was Paramount even if it came at the expense of my discomfort. She often said that she enjoyed the extra physical attention without the pressure of sex as my goal. We also held hands, kissed and giggled like we were dating again.

    What did she not like... Talking about what direction we were moving in. She expected our lives to be simple. I expected that we would be discussing chastity regularly.

    The easiest way to mess this all up is to by forgetting that your partners desires and interests are as important than yours.
     
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  4. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    I can really relate to you being addicted to touching your wife and telling her that her comfort is paramount. I find I have too cool it a bit sometimes as my wife doesn't like feeling that my constant attention is in a sense smothering her.
     
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  5. Greatlakes guy
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    Thanks for the replies. We don't really practice chastity yet, but I have noticed I start feeling the same way when denying myself for a few days at a time. Its just energy re-focused to other areas I guess. After 2-3 days, I too can't keep my hands off my wife, and as difficult as the self-denial is, I must say its kind of a good feeling somehow
     
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  6. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    Just to expand on what I said earlier, not being able to keep my hands off my Wife has resulted in the past with my Wife relenting and giving me an O. So I know for myself at least that this is a big risk area which I need to work on in order not to dissapoint my wife. I'm improving on this having learnt from my past mistakes, what I now understand and accept that this part of the denial. So it's about touching no more or at least not a lot more than when I'm not in training.
     
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  7. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    As others have said, not smothering her with constant touching. When she started pushing me towards longer periods of chastity, I began finding myself obsessed with looking at her beautiful body and touching and kissing her. She doesn’t really mind me staring at her and actually feels kind of turned on by seeing me stare longingly at her, but she’s not a naturally touchy feely kind of person and finds a lot of touching overwhelming. Even now, three and half years into our journey and pretty much totally chaste for the last year of it, I still have to fight my urges to touch her and initiate stuff when she’s not ready.

    As for positives, it has greatly improved my wife’s enjoyment of sex. I’ve written several times about her history and reasons for wanting me chaste. I won’t rewrite all of that, but I will try to summarize very briefly. She has always hated penetration and intercourse and finds even my erections to be a big turn off. Chastity has given her a sex life free of the things she hates. She knows exactly what she likes and she knows that I will do exactly those things and nothing else. She can have all of the touching and caressing and even clitoral stimulation to orgasm without ever worrying that I could penetrate her.

    It has also allowed her the freedom to discover new things that she likes. Prior to chastity her role was pretty much to just be submissive to me and let me ram my cock into her while she hated every second of it. There wasn’t much freedom for her to explore her own sexuality. She has discovered several things she really likes now. She has certain erogenous zones that she loves having me touch, she likes spooning (which I thought was stupid before chastity), and she loves teasing me and reminding me of what I can’t have. She really gets a thrill out of rubbing her vagina against my cage and letting feel what I can’t have. Something about it really arouses her.
     
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  8. Chat408
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    Chat408 Owl always love you
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    Since you requested a keyholder prospective I will tell you I have come (no pun intended) to enjoy the look of him caged. My Darling has very defined muscles, and the ability to enjoy the sight of his muscles while being caged is a surprising turn on. I also enjoy teasing him through the cage. Seeing his penis swell like flower petals is very cool. The extra attention he gives me is great, but I am still not used to it. He is much more romantic than he used to be, and sex is not a chore to be performed, but an enjoyable adventure we can explore whenever I want to.
     
  9. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    I discovered that I enjoyed physical chastity devices much more than I ever anticipated I would (which was already a lot). My proclivities for metal, bondage, and power exchange were only enhanced by the cage.

    I learned that the identity, responsibility, and enjoyment associated with being a Keyholder resonated deep within Me. I know I found a piece that's meant to be in My puzzle when I discovered chastity.

    I am now also painfully aware that the phrase "be careful what you wish for" goes both ways.
     
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  10. SubP81
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    SubP81 Active member

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    We stated our journey talking about Cuckolding me it soon came to me being denied and put in chastity for a good proportion of the day.... This is a quote from my wife/kh
    "I find it quite liberating being completely in control, plus i also get to play with my side man. Which massively turns us both on"
     
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  11. diane49
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    diane49 Member

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    I am a vanilla partner like your wife. I joined this site to learn more about chastity and what drives men to want it. I did not understand at all until I roamed thru this site and asked questions. People are super friendly to newbies. You might have your wife join the site to learn more about it. For me there is definitely some power exchange to it, but it does not interest me that much. Some more attention for sure. But for me it is like helping your partner enjoy something they want. Probably different for most but that is it for me.
     
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  12. slave robi
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    slave robi Active member

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    "be careful what you wish for..well, i wish finding a keyholder and wearing a chastity device… if all is reality<, come back and write my impressions :)
     

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  13. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    What is this about? Not only is it an unsolicited dick pic, it doesn’t even include a chastity device, which might make it semi-appropriate.
     
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  14. slave robi
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    slave robi Active member

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    sorry:)
     
  15. slave robi
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    slave robi Active member

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    i have no one,in way to buy the first one...
     
  16. KittensProperty
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    KittensProperty Kitten's Happy Property

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    From m'Lady's point of view maybe, or at least my desires and interests have some level of importance. From my position, her's are paramount and overshadow mine completely.
     
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