Keyholder - just friend?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by CuriousHetero, Oct 1, 2022.

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  1. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    I have a question: has someone here a keyholder which is just a friend, so without any romantic or sexual relationship? I'm thinking about ask my longtime female friend (never anything between us) to be my keyholder...
     
  2. eurolicious
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    eurolicious Active member

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    Well, should be safe for her….being caged means you wont try anything! Lol

    Seriously though, having had a female BFF for 15 years, you have to think which side of this kink may bother/appeal to her involvement: power or sex?

    To me, chastity is very personal in a sexual way…
     
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  3. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    That's a good question! I think that's power, what could appeal to her, definitely not sex. But definitely I should try to find it out...
     
  4. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Tell her you have a masturbation addiction and that you need her help.
     
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  5. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    Thanks for the idea! I'm thinking to ask for her help to be more disciplined with my (amateurish) playwriting... I want to stay out from any sexual connotation...
     
  6. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    The worst that can happen is that she decides to end the friendship and tell all of her friends about how you asked her to participate in your kink.
     
  7. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    That's my biggest fear!
     
  8. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    I must confess that I have long term female friends and I'd never risk it.

    Have you considered a local dominatrix?
     
  9. Echo321
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    Echo321 Long term member

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    I would advise caution and if you decide to ask work up to it slowly and feel her out so you’re as certain of her reaction as you can be before you do. No matter what your reasons are or what she may gain from it, if anything, at the end of the day there is always a sexual connotation to chastity, even if slight, given that it involves your genitals and orgasms (or lack of them). I’m not saying it can’t work out wonderfully, but just be careful especially with such a long term friendship on the line. Those are going to be harder to find than a keyholder.
     
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  10. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    My first question is have you two mentions any sexual or adult type things in a casual chat before? If so maybe I would mention something about discovering chastity cages and you are intrigued by it. See what her response is. Maybe she will say get one and I will hold you key. Or depending on her response you could say it would be fun to try but I have no one to hold the keys to keep me from letting myself out then she might offer or you could ask her if she wanted to
     
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  11. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    That's brilliant!
     
  12. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    No. Maybe in the future...
     
  13. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Just buy a Kitchen Safe from Amazon and you will be at the mercy of a timed lock box. If you aren't close enough to her to know the answer 100% without asking, I wouldn't ask.
     
  14. titaniumjones
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    titaniumjones Crouching Robot, Hidden Dragon

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    Use Chaster.app
    And I wouldn't ask either.
     
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  15. LookButDontCum
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    LookButDontCum Junior Member

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    A lot of people seem to be strongly against this idea, I’m a bit split.

    I often go to fetish clubs and there it is normal to have friendships with some kinky activity. For example, I have friends, we’re not in a relationship, but we’ll happily spank each other. Or if there is a particular kink they are interested in, I’ll happily play with them.

    So in that sense, a friend holding keys doesn’t seem weird at all. However without knowing the OPs situation it is very hard to say.
     
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  16. flip__26
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    flip__26 Long term member

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    If you were to take it any further, admit to her that you've got a kinky side, but leave it for her to ask further questions. Don't go to her with a suggestion. You might find yourself explaining that because you're single, you've no key holder, and if she was at all receptive she might offer. But don't ask her to partake in your sex life.
     
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  17. CuriousHetero
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    CuriousHetero 18 years pussy-free.

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    I wouldn't ask her that but as @eurolicious wrote - chastity cage is (probably) always sexual... Therefore I'm torn... By the way: I don't know nothing about her sexual life. I saw a rainbow bracelet on her hand once, but didn't ask her...
     
  18. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    Don’t make it sexual. Tell her that she’s a friend that you trust and who you know won’t judge you. Tell her you’re struggling with a masturbation addiction and would like her help in maintaining accountability. If she says yes, then explain to her that you would like to use a chastity device to enforce accountability because you don’t trust yourself. You may need to explain to her what chastity devices are and how they work. If she’s comfortable with being your accountability partner and holding the key, then you can discuss a release schedule, etc. Maybe one day when you are in a romantic relationship, she can help explain the situation to her and pass along the key, after which, you can incorporate more sexual elements into the arrangement.
     
  19. LookButDontCum
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    LookButDontCum Junior Member

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    Yeah, no.

    My last post was about how having a friend as keyholder isn’t necessarily unusual. However if you don’t even know her orientation, then you are not close enough to her to ask. I’d abandon this idea.
     
  20. boo
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    boo Long term member

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    I had a long time friend hold mine. while Mistress was away We didn't talk about it, but she gave me the keys back when Mistress ok'd it. Six months without a break.. No big deal, still friends.
     
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  21. Dirk Esther
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    Dirk Esther New member

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    I asked a long time female friend to be my keyholder (not straight away by any sort - we were friends first and foremost - also, we had talks about our own sex lives long before I ever brought chastity up but we were never, ever compatible for a relationship other than friends). She wanted nothing of the sort but appreciated the honesty. Thankfully things went completely back to normal so I was very, very lucky. I've never brought it up since and never plan again to bring it up.
     
  22. Deleted member 96384
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    This is a GREAT suggestion. It’s subtle but doesn’t imply anything to cause friendship problem.
     
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