keyholder contracts

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by SUTTONSEEDS, Nov 6, 2009.

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  1. SUTTONSEEDS
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    SUTTONSEEDS Member

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    Hi.
    I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions about keyholder contracts, as i would like my partner to write one up for us, were not into anything to heavy, but would like to spice things up abit, At the moment i feel as if i have to much control, but im afraid that if i let my partner take full control, then it will not be long until, im completely ignored, as she has a very low sex drive. At the moment were trying to come up with a system, which is unpredictable but doesnt leave me to long between some form of attention,
     
  2. lockedokie
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    lockedokie Junior Member

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    I would suggest you start with why you are going to be in chastity as the basis. For me it was masturbation and to give her some security that I would not find myself playing with others. Agree on time limits for lock up. If you create a contract who gets to break it if anyone? Is she going to use this to make you more of a ????, are you going to be her slave. What are the boundaries of what she can punish you for on lockup. My wife and I are using this to help me be more romantic with her as a main goal. She has complete control over our sex life. If I work at being a gentleman I get sex. otherwise I get more lock up time. I have learned to bite my tongue and think about her more. I love it as I feel more satisfied pleasing her. We agreed that the financial and household decisions would still be a joint thing and she is not allowed to use the chastity to get her way on these things. When we started it was just a few days at a time. She left me unlocked and I played alone and she locked me up for two weeks for it. My quantity of sex may have decreased a bit but the quality more than makes up for it. Bottom line is lay out the goals, punishments, and boundaries. Work with it for three or four months and have another meeting to modify based on what has happened for the last three or four months. I can not remove anything from our contract without her approval. She can add whatever she wants without my approval. My wife is not a strong dom just yet. She is beginning to get into it more as she has seen the changes in me and she likes it. We are only a little over 4 months into our contract. Hope this helps.
     
  3. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Hey suttonseeds you may want to think this through very carefully as you sounded like me when I started and it did not work for the following reasons. IF there is a fear of being ignored there is a deeper issue. And if you are afraid of giving in complete control then perhaps you are not ready to submit. Now at face value that sounds like I am way of base so please let me explain. When we started it was to spice things up a bit. My wife/Goddess is content with sex once maybe twice a month sometimes more but really I am the one with the very high sex drive. Masturbation was at least once ever two to three days. The key to making this work is to FIRST make sure you each know what the others needs are and can agree to satisfy those needs. You will be giving up a very big part of your life and in turn She is accepting a huge responsibility. Are you BOTH ready for the commitment? Once the answer is yes on both sides your terms of the contract are really what are each of your needs. It should be weighted more in Her favor so as to make sure She gets the benefits from it. When you feel ignored or there are times when it is too much you should have something in there for how you are to express this to Her and She should have something in there for you saying how it will be handled. Once you are in for a while you WILL start to be more attentive, better around the house etc. I know all too well. LOL This will generally inspire her to want to tease more, and be more affectionate. Go slow, take your time, COMMUNICATE, and remember there is no universal contract.

    By the way if I have overstepped my bounds please forgive me and you may want to check out the "Tower" as there is a spot where many have submitted their contracts as I did.

    Hope this helps
     
  4. S&S_MISTRESS's boy toy
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    Very good advice.

    I agree and think you explained it very well.

     
  5. SUTTONSEEDS
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    SUTTONSEEDS Member

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    thanks sounds like wisewords
     
  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    I could do you a contract, but it would have to fit in with HER needs. If you're worried about giving total control, start with a fixed period. Say one month. Agree that whether/when you get any satisfaction or release within that period is her decision. After that, make it continuous on a period of notice. She can give you release when she wants, but if you want anything you have to give the notice first; after which you can have another agreement.
     
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