Key holders - why permanent chastity?

I’m curious to hear from keyholders who either chose permanent chastity for their men or agreed to it. Why? What made you want it or agree to it? How have things changed since the decision? What challenges have you and your man had to overcome to keep him chaste?

I am posting this because my wife has gone from simply expressing a passive desire for permanent chastity to pretty much demanding it. I understand her reasons and have written a summary below.

My wife is days or even perhaps hours away from delivering our sixth child (and yes, two of those were conceived after we started exploring chastity). It has been a difficult pregnancy for her, in fact the first out of all of her pregnancies that has been difficult.

Last night we had some discussion about life after the baby comes. We came to the topic of sex, and she said she does not want to get pregnant again after this. She said she would be okay if I wanted to get a vasectomy, but she does not want me to penetrate her anymore. A little background, this pregnancy resulted after a seven month period of chastity, when I was extremely aroused and had just the tip of my anatomy in her and ejaculated. Sounds crazy, but she got pregnant.

She does not want me to penetrate her again (ever), and said that she knows how manipulative I can be when I crave penetration. She doesn’t want that possibility to be available. If the physical ability to penetrate her exists, I will eventually wear her down to where she lets me in. And after getting pregnant from just my glans being in her, she doesn’t want to take any chances.

So, she told me she wants permanent chastity from here on out (we define permanent as never ending, but make room for removing of the device in emergencies or when it could cause danger). She has been letting me enjoy being teased without the cage for the last few months. That will be stopping as soon as our child is born. We will be finding a device more suitable for long term wear without frequent removal for cleaning and I will be chaste from here on out.

During our discussion she admitted that she knows it will be hard for me to adjust to the permanent nature of it, and said she will put a lot more effort into playing with me more frequently. She said she loves me and wants me to be as happy as possible and knows that I will need her help to be happy as a totally chaste husband. I did find this endearing, especially since I know she doesn’t usually want to play as often as I would like.

 

It is a constant struggle, always has been. But I feel at least a little optimistic that she brought up the idea of being more involved with my needs. In the past she really didn’t acknowledge it too much, but has even in the last few months been giving me more attention. She realizes that she has done a poor job for most of our marriage of meeting my intimacy needs and that did come up in our conversation.

I don’t doubt her sincerity about wanting to put more effort into our sex life. I am worried about tossing a baby into the mix. Will her sincerity and resolve to be a better wife hold strong when she has been caring for a baby all day? The last few months have been among the best in our marriage, so I know that her heart is in the right place. I just hope she can stay like that with a baby to care for.

 

As we have noted in the past, my wife is exactly the same, only we have a pregnancy in the equation. Never had liked penetration at all, and hates the smell of semen. Doesn’t like oral or toys either.

 

When she’s in the mood, she likes it very much. But only clitoris. She doesn’t like any penetration.

 

One thing you’re missing is that she likes it. She does hate dick, but she also enjoys denying me. And I actually enjoy seeing her get pleasure from denying me. This is something she has wanted for a while, regardless of the pregnancy issues. Now she just happens to have a reason to act on her desires.

There are a wide variety of relationships represented on this website. I scratch my head at all of the posts about people’s wives or partners ramming strap-ons into their asses. For the life of me, I can’t imagine a scenario where that would be fun or pleasurable. I have had a prostate exam and that was unpleasant enough for me. However, I don’t question their enjoyment of it. It’s not for me, but apparently some people enjoy it. I happen to like seeing my wife happy. What makes her happy is sometimes challenging for me. Sometimes I complain, but most of the time I can see the benefits outweigh the detriments.

 

My wife readily admits this is a fantasy of hers that is best kept in the realm of fantasy. It presents a number of practical and health dangers and difficulties. Plus, as you point out, it’s kind of a one time thing. Once the excitement of removing my sexuality wears off, there’s nothing left to deny me. I wouldn’t have any desire to deny. No urge to suppress.

 

It seems there are more people out there in situations like mine than I may have realized. My wife hates both the smell and feeling.

 

I am glad you can see it that way. It is the way I see it, too. Not only has she had six kids because of my penis being in her, but she has hated every moment my penis has been in her. She has given up a lot to give me those moments of doing what she hates.

 

It’s nice to hear from an actual heyholder. Lots of male comments on here. We have agreed that since I am the one who likes the act that leads to pregnancy (penetration and ejaculation) that I am the one who should implement the solution. And that solution is chastity.