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Key Holder Techniques That Work

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Dogchasecats, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Someone wrote me asking what keyholder techniques actually work for me. He said his keyholder asked him to get working techniques.

    Here are some that work for me, perhaps you would share some that work for you.

    Techniques that work:

    1. Learn what is a turn on:

    One of the best things I did was have my husband blog on tumblr about his experience and things he likes. It gives me tools to use to flood his brain with chemicals.. It’s a blog where he posts his chastity experiences. He he tells me what he liked about our relationship. It is at https://iluvzitwhenshe.tumblr.com/ Since everyone is different yours will be different too. Knowing what he likes is priceless since I want to keep him sexually high. Without keeping him at a very high sexual state the magic is gone

    2. Be serious:

    I found the stricter I am about it the better he behaves. If I am constantly checking up on him he “feels it” more. I rarely let him touch himself and am really strict about that. I am overly serious about keeping him hands off.

    3.Constantly Sexually High

    Don’ let him cum often but let him get close multiple times a day
    This used to be a chore for me but I make him do most of the work. I make him take off his hardware and wank, or leave it on and vibe the cage. He needs to be edged up several times a day. I used to do all the work but now I make him do most of it. If he is not full of chemicals it’s not working.

    4. Knowing and adjusting levels

    I often ask him his level by texting him a single “?”. He answers with a to 10. This lets me know how sexually high he is. When ever he texts me for any reason he is to put his current level after the text. Sometimes I can see the number raise or lower after I say something. He can text me with a “?” And if I feel like it I will text him back with a satisfaction 1- to 10. I sometimes do it after each text, sometimes not. I don’t have to answer but he does. This lets me know where he is at. If he is low on the scale I can Raise his level.
    Maybe make him go give me a dangerous proof pic.
    A semi public feel up.
    Or have him video call me with my cam off and his on and watch him vibe or edge. Sometimes I don’t even watch, but he doesn’t know that.
    I will tell him to edge and what to think about.
    I might have him put his hands behind his back and watch me use my vibe as he tells me all the things he likes about me as I get off. I like master bating to non stop comments about how amazing, pretty and wonderful I am.

    5. Constant reminders:

    I want him constantly reminded about being locked and always thinking I could check up on him at any time. It was exhausting to have to do this myself so I put it on auto pilot by making him check in and now just randomly manually text when I feel like it will be fun for me. I put all that work on him though. I make him text me on the threes. Thats any time that can be divided by threes. 3, 12, 6 etc. He as to text me thanking me for keeping him locked, telling me he is locked, and complimenting me. He reminds me of something I did for him. Some sexual experience he liked. At first he wanted me to randomly text him which became exhausting and a chore. Now he texts me checking in, telling me he is locked, thanking me and praising me in some way. I do randomly text him or tease him but only when I feel like it. He has to text me on the threes though. I like the constant praise and he is mentally reinforcing his lock up and dependance on my good will for his pleasure. He has to search his mind several times a day for something he likes about me. If he doesn’t do a good job on his texts I tell him I am not impressed and to try it again. This makes him feel like he has to bring his best to me. I want his best effort.

    6. Random proof pics.

    I really don’t like looking at dick pics but I want to constantly reinforce and remind him he is in captivity. When he is out and about or we are apart I demand proof pics where he takes a pic of his cage on. Sometimes I make him wear panties just to mess around with his “normal”. The more public the better. I want to have some exciting danger chemicals flow through his mind. I don’t want him to get in trouble but I do want him to feel as excited as possible. So he will snap the pics in some sort of public place, trying to make sure he is not seen. If its not daring enough I tell him it’s not acceptable. To try again. He can unzip and take a pic with his cage poking out in a parking lot, store, park etc. The idea is to make him consent to do something slightly risky and embarrassing of his own free will and to repeat it over and over. This creates excitement for him and its linked to me. I become associated with excitement. Plus he is having to do something outside of his comfort zone. He is breaking down barriers in order to please and obey me. They are little barriers but over time it adds up.

    7. “blackmail pictures”

    I put all these pics in a safe web place that I call my “blackmail” file. I have a place for all the compromising pics. Examples of the blackmail pics: Proof pics Pics with him holding a sign thats embarrassing Pics wearing embarrassing clothing a bra on his head or in panties Pics with him doing something embarrassing like having my dildo in his mouth while wearing a cock cage flashing a thumbs up. All kinds of stuff. I have all these stored and from time to time I remind him he had better behave and do whatever I tell him to or I could embarrass him big time. I make the threat real but would likely never use them against him. However it is always a little compelling reason I can use when he needs that extra little bump to make him do something just outside his comfort zone. I have lots of little videos and pictures in that file he would not want anyone to see. I told him I have it set to become public if I don’t put in a code every three months into this website that emails people on a list if you don’t check in. The truth is I really don’t have that set up, but I could. In his mind though its another reason not to fuck with me, to be pleasant and not kill me in my sleep. (lol)

    8. Dangerous Affirmations and acts:

    Semi public dangerous pleasure affirmation sessions- Sometimes I have him video himself in a bathroom or on his forrest park walks as I give him instructions on what to touch and make him repeat affirmations that I want locked in his pretty head. When he is sort of vulnerable in semi public I make him rub himself while I watch on video. Then when he is pretty worked up I have him repeat his affirmation. It could be anything I want like “ I will always be nice to you” or “I love licking you” or whatever. When he is excited in a place thats a little dangerous and then he has to perform for me it adds up to a chemical bath for his brain that shakes stuff up. Adrenaline, sex, willful obedience make any affirmations really embed themselves into his brain. They stick because of all the exciting chemicals.

    9. Stretching obedience boundaries

    I constantly get him sexually excited, then make him do things that are just outside his comfort and embarrassment comfort zones. But only when he has been denied and sexually turned on. Those bottled up chemicals make him more likely to do what I ask. When he does what I ask I wank him a bit or suck on him or make him vibe himself. I want to give out pleasure for obedience. I just gradually go outside what he would willingly do each time I can. Not because I want him to do that stuff but because I want to break down his barriers of saying no to me. I get him sexually charged up and desperate for more pleasure then I get him to voluntarily do some embarrassing things or real life practical things for me that he would normally not do or not want to do. Stuff he procrastinates on. By not being able to master-bate himself he keeps those motivating chemicals bottled up. His body is wanting to get pleasure. He gets a big mix of motivating feel good chemicals in his blood stream when I work him up with various methods Sadly his body will naturally get rid of those sexual feel good chemicals over time. I have to replace them by stimulating them. As long as I keep his levels high he is very happy and has that service attitude I like. It’s good for him to because I get him to do the things on his to do list. Then on top of that his brain will think of all kinds of things to do to please me. 5. Review the to dos I will have a session with him at the end of the day. I rub, lick or vibe him until he is excited (or have him do it while I watch on video) Once he is excited I have him go over “what have you done for me lately” and what are yo going to do soon. In a sexual state it makes this list become pleasurable instead of a boring to do list. If he has done a lot I might edge him several times or randomly make him pop. (cum)

    10. Constant consistent sexually high

    It is really important I keep him full of sexual chemicals. Since they dissipate over time as they get removed from the blood stream I need them to be refreshed. I use a few methods to keep him on a slow simmer.

    A1. physical.

    I touch him or make him touch himself. I use my little vibrating wand on him or make him do it while I watch. I grab his parts or rub on it in public when I can get away with it and in private. I make him rub himself. Physical stimulation is my biggest tool. When he is not with me I watch him through skype or face book messenger.

    A2. visual

    I change my looks up often I send him naughty pics I dress up a lot I wear make up I make him watch me master-bate while I am wearing sexy outfits or lingerie while he watches I have him vibe himself off and on as I nod ok or nod for him to stop. I have him look at his naughty pics file almost daily. These are pics of me. He keeps them all and I get him charged up and then he reviews them. Sometimes I make him tell me what he likes about each one. Sometimes I make him look at a picture as I sexually touch him.

    A3. Sounds

    I have him listen to recordings of me getting off, or sessions we had. I whisper things to him in public. I moan in his ear. While we are talking to another couple I pass him a note that says “Your caged” or whisper in his ear “they don’t know your cock locked and have to do whatever I tell you to”. Sometimes I will wisper “I may make you tell them that I have you locked right now.”

    11. Mind games and outing

    I actually made him tell my cousin right in front of me while we were eating. I had set it up in advance though. My cousin actually told me her boyfriend was into being kept locked up and we got to talking and I spilled the beans. So she all ready knew. We decided she would act really shocked, ask him all kinds of questions. She asked him how obedient he was. What was the hardest request to obey. I told him in front of her, “look me in the eyes, you must answer all her questions honestly no matter how embarassing”. I gave my cuz a quick wink to tell her to really give him the business. She asked how it felt, if he was caged now, did he have a key, would he accept punishment, would he show her the cage on if I made him, could she touch it if I allowed it, could she hold the key sometimes and make him do chores, could he refuse any of his key holders requests. She really got personal and he had to answer them all. It was great fun. I told him he would have to answer any questions she had in the future and she to could demand proof pics anytime. Then finnally she told him how valiant he was and how sexy she thought it was. He went from blushing to proud. It was really fun making him tell her. I secretly got off on his obedience and watching him obey. It was sexy hot. It was really enjoyable. She promised not to tell anyone.

    Mind Games

    As a interesting story I made him pick out 10 friends I could tell if I wanted to. Then I told him I had told one from the list but they were told not to bring it up. Actually I had told no one but he thought one of his friends knew but not which one. I found that amusing.

    These are a few but not all of my techniques. If you use any and free and they worked all I ask is that you post a thank you back or a naughty pic or something. Maybe you could post techniques that work for you..
  2. Impressive, have you ever thought about writing a book?
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  3. I like the way your mind works.....but so scary for a submissive.
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  4. oh I forgot the best part about making him tell my cousin. She asked him if he would do whatever I told him to. He said yes. Then she asked if she could see him wearing it or touch it If told him to. He said no. Which surprised me! I quickly clicked my fingers and sternly called him on that. “How dare you! I barked. Just for that get right now and stand in that corner. He immediately complied. My cousin gasped “oh my God”. Turn the other way, I commaned and snapped my fingers. He turned around. Now stay there tillI decide what to do. “Yes mam” he said. I clicked my fingers and barked “dont you say another dammed word. My cousin was impressed. I apologized to my cousin, I feel so embarrassed I told her with a wink. We had planned out this next part. I took out my very good blindfold from my purse, and put it on him. Now turn around. Drop your pants while my cousin looks all she wants. It wasn’t long until he started dripping. I put a tea saucer under it. She is looking at you in your cage and you can’t do anything about it. Nod your head. He nodded. Your dripping like a faucet. Are you getting off on the embarasment? He nodded. I turned and asked my cuz loud enough for him to hear “ do you really want to touch it? “ Ya, I think so. I told him as he stood there blindfolded. Look up at the ceiling and don’t you dare move. I said to my cousin “you have my permission to examine and touch it as long as you want.” She silently shook her head. I put my finger in front of my mouth like I was telling a secret and motioned her over. I started feeling on it as I motioned for my cuz to talk as if it were her touching it. She really put on a show. we were trying not to giggle. Oh my God this is so sexy she said, wow it’s steel. Wow this leaky stuff is slick, why is he dripping so much. She wasn’t touching it but he didn’t know that. We were really trying not to laugh. “Good boy” I said such amazingly sexy obedience!”. I winked to my cousin. “I can make him do whatever the fuck I want him to do.” I told her. “Holy fuck thats hot” she said honestly. From now on you will show your cage anytime my cousin wants or send her a proof pic. She’s not allowed to touch unless I am there or ask you to anything sexual. Nod if you agree. He nodded and she gasped then clapped her hands really fast. Omg this is going to be so much fun. She was giddy. She told my hubby his obedience was amazing, and that she wished she had a man like him. “Can I borrow him for awhile” she said as she winked. “I might lend him out If Ifeel like it.”I said. She looked at me and winked “what could I make him do?” I replied “ anything you want as long as his cage stays on and he is not allowed to cum. “Perfect”she said. We tried not to giggle. “If I decided to lend you to my cousin you will do absolutely anything she tells you to but the cage stays on and no cumming. Nod to show you agree. He slowly nodded. My cousin was flush. I don’t think I would ever lend him out but he doesn’t know that. I found thathis obedience was intoxicating. I felt so proud showing off to my cousin. She was obviously impressed. You want to watch as I make him lick up all his Precum? I asked. “Will he do that?” She asked surprisingly. I asked him “ nod if you will drink up all your precumwhile my cousin watches. He nodded. “Oh my God” my cousin gasped. ‘This was really fun for me. I felt so proud showing off. My cousin is in awe of me. I told her to ask him if He was locked and obedient often. Also to make him show off when ever she wanted. An obedient man can really be fun.
  5. Should I? If enough people asked I would...anyone?
    bethanise, traveler and Mash2214 like this.
  6. My wife has a good technique she always says no
  7. Lol, she. Later I had him look Her in the eyes, now don’t break eye contact as you very slowly lick every drop of that precum just because my cousin wants to watch. He did. My cousin was in awe and obviously turned on. It was fun to watch.
    bethanise, slave_m and Mash2214 like this.
  8. Great post! I will be sharing this wife my wife/keyholder. Thank-you!
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  9. a little too hard core for me, but very interesting :)
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  10. thank you!
  11. Wow, excellent post. I need to eventually figure out how to communicate the levels to my wife in a simple fashion. Last time we played she did well with that part..."don't talk to me until you are at a 10!...I want to see the despair!"...I miss that. Anyway...great post!
    stewuk and Dogchasecats like this.
  12. In a text file for sharing
  13. Really juicy that one. You've got him by the balls there brilliantly.:);););):)
  14. Maybe hubby can do housework for her, nude?
    Dogchasecats and Penney like this.
  15. Quiet a few tricks, I hope he won’t read it :p
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  16. Your husband's blog has some great stuff in it...thanks for sharing. Man Tears Mug...funny and sexy...you guys are great. :cool:
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  17. Wow I wish my wife and keyholder would do more of that. It seems more like lock it and forget it for me
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  18. Denial with no tease is bad, bad, bad.
    Your keyholder can have you do most of the work. I put some ideas in there. Also you can edge yourself and video it- then put it in a safe place that’s encryped on the web. Mega file storage gives you 50 Gb and its free. There might be apps tat can randomly notify you to send a proof pic and you could just put it in your SHared proof pic folder. I ask for proof pics and he puts them in there. Most I don’t see. I check sometimes but most the time I never see them. He doesn’t know that though. I have put more of the work on him and less on me. I just participate actively when I feel like it.
    switchling and Joroincharge like this.

  19. I'll have to try and remember to do all that if I find an extra few minutes in the day.
    Dogchasecats likes this.
  20. I have been making him do almost everything unless I just feel like doing anything myself. I put some of that in there but I perhaps didn’t explain it enough.
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  21. I will tell him you said that. Is there anything in particular that you liked?
  22. I'll look through it today...just remember thinking it was more thoughtful and interesting than the usual. Less body parts and more thinking. I did laugh at the wand with a lock on the electrical plug. After all of the male chastity talk that was hilarious.
    Dogchasecats and ineverknew like this.
  23. As they say, the most powerful sexual organ is the brain. You've got his brain in thrall so he doesn't know which way is up. Which means you also have him by the balls.

    So he does as he's told or else!:):)
    slave_m, switchling and Dogchasecats like this.
  24. He will love to hear that. I will read your complement to him on one of our review sessions. We have a
    little “what have you done for me lately” review almost every day. I am away sometimes so it’s sometimes on video call. Skype is Good.
    I first get get him worked up. Some times I make him take his cage off. sometimes not. Sometimes I have him take it off when I go over something good and he starts thinking he is going to get some “action” but then as I read something bad on the list I make him put the cage back on. This sends him a message that he could of been rewarded but his bad behavior ruined it. I make him do all the work now a days. Not always. We have large 8 foot posts on the bed. Sometimes I handcuff his hands behind him while he is naked with a blind fold on. I then clip the cuffs to the bedpost. Then I get out my hitachi vibe and turn it on. I work with it until he’s worked up. Some times I play a session where I made lots of excited noises on a loop. I have a lot of recordings I use. When he is really worked up I sometimes play a “promises” recording where he promised to do something under a sexual desperate state. Sometimes it’s something embarassing. I get him really worked up and then I review the performance list he wrote out. All this works only if he is really worked up. I praise him for good things, then take away the fun vibes and use my harsh voice when I bring up something I did like. I often tell him I am taking some picture for my blackmail file. All this s works only if he is really worked up. The blindfold and cuffs are to make sure he feels vulnerable. I don’t always use them though. We go over what he promised to do, what he did do, and what he didn’t do. I think these near daily review sessions is the best and most important thing I have ever thought up. It keeps his mind on what I want and gives all this chastity play a real practical purpose. I record those sessions and play back parts later. Sometimes I video them, sometimes it’s audio. If you do a review like this filled with vunetabilty and sexual pleasure you can steer this play into something really practical. It could be almost daily, or weekly, or monthly. Its best if he knows it’s regular. I used a little dog shock/ vibrate collar that would clip to his cage while he is cuffed. I don’t use it all the time. There is err is a app that works with it although my older one had a physical remote. I would vibe for good stuff, shock for bad. He told me he hated the shock part. I told him that was the whole point. If you review what has been done and get promises for what will be done you can stay on track. It only works in a very sexual state. Trying it without getting him really worked up would be like butt sex with no lube.
    oh when we do it over video I make him stroke or touch his bits to the hitachi velcroed to the big post. After each Item I have him stroke or touch the hitachi for a time.
  25. He does do stuff now automatically because it leads to pleasure. I have used mild pain but I found it is not really as useful as pleasure. Aid his brain knows that pleasing behaviors lead to pleasure then he will repeat the behavior automatically. This is the best situation. The harsh threat of punishment may work but sexualization of his work and service work better. If he has doe something bad and I cry actual tears it moves him more than any pain.