It's not always exciting

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mr_anonymous, Jun 17, 2024.

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  1. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    For all the talk of the fun stuff the largely mundane day to day part of being in a full time flr is dramatically different for I think most people. For me at least it's largely running errands, cleaning house, dishes etc. Basically anything to make her life easier. All the sex stuff is great but Its maybe a half dozen hours a week versus the daily monotony of what needs to be done. It's not all whips, chains and leather like I think alot of people think it's going to be at first. In truth it's you doing mundane shit that needs to be done while caged. That's truthfully about as real as it can get in my eyes.
     
  2. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    That sounds like regular life + half a dozen hours a week of sex stuff. :) It might be a step in the right direction at a minimum.
     
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  3. Claire’s good boy
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    Claire’s good boy Active member

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    Half a dozen hours a week….. I wish.
    My life is total servitude and chores with ten minutes a week teasing which leaves me craving it and more willing to serve my Goddess than ever.
    It’s strange what drive us but the 24/7 lock up leaves one desire in me and that’s to serve any way I can…….
     
  4. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    That may be generous. I may get attention for 45 mins or so 3 or 4 times a week.
     
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  5. JoeD
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    Agree that it is not all excitement. However, a lot of the fun is the perspective you take and your frame of mind. Being denied long-term keeps me horny all the time and I love that. I have to wear a slave outfit when doing chores so that makes it fun, but I also feel submissive when doing chores because I know that I am being ordered to do them, and that there will be consequences if I do not do them timely or correctly. It all makes the mundane tasks a little more exciting.
     
  6. Mmikko
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    Mmikko New member

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    I can confirm. I do get some sexual attention relatively often, fortunately, but for the most part being in chastity means house chores and serving my GF.
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Yep, just so.
     
  8. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    Sounds like you’ve settled into being a chaste subby. I’m lucky to have a very horny Wife so I get to give her head, or help her masturbate with a vibe most nights, piv is more rare the last couple years, and she’ll give me spankings once a week or so, and I’ll get some oiled up handjob teasing once a week pretty consistently. I’d love more teasing, bdsm stuff, pegging more etc, but reality is that we’re living a mildly more kinky lifestyle than basic vanilla sex. The sex dungeon fantasy stuff seems to be a rare exception on here for 99% of us, and that 1% could just be fiction for all we know lol

    But, I wouldn’t go back to our normal piv and cumming every night, and I know my Wife absolutely won’t go back now any way, so I just lean into being the best Subby I can. Sounds like you’re doing the same
     
  9. Shaznste
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    Shaznste Active member

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    Sounds right to me. I like doing all the housework and giving Shaz freedom and time to do as she pleases
     
  10. CuriousAndy
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    When she got interested in Female Led Relationships and chastity I had visions of her taking the lead in our kinky bondage scenes, experimenting on me and going a bit wild. The reality is she's far more interested in my obedience than bondage.

    Our sex life now matches her libido. I knew her sex drive was lower than mine but I was surprised how much lower it really is, I guess she had been humouring me in the past. It can easily be a couple of weeks before she's in the mood for me to go down on her. A handfuls of times a year she might be feeling playful and want to whip my bottom. Pretty much every day she's interested in assigning housework.

    She summed up her view this morning as we snuggled in bed, she told me "I like you caged, your cock can't bother me."
     
  11. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I could have written this, except I would have left out the extra "u". Brits can't even learn our English language properly, although at least most seem to speak it fairly well now.
     
  12. Muppet
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    Muppet Long term member

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    Your tendency to pronounce “tourism” and “terrorism” indistinguishably as “tursum” is responsible for most of the evil in this world.
     
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  13. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    That really depends on what path you have taken in all of this.

    If, like you say, you do all the mundane stuff without much thought and you just constantly put her needs first, well that can feel boring very quickly. Not because it actually involves any less fun to it or it becomes unpleasant or anything in that guise, it just saturates to normality.
    To keep things interesting you have to step out of the routine; to do something extraordinary. That doesn’t have to be a lot, but if you’ve already taken care of 99% of the things that need doing, then what is left?
    What is left if the remaining 1% is negligible or even if she doesn’t feel comfortable, guilty even of asking for more?

    There’s a real thrill in living a balanced life, knowing you have ceded the power but allowing her to take control only when she feels like it. That little smile your given when there is a task that either of you could complete, but instead you’re instructed to do so.

    Completing everything for your wife because you are caged is no more productive of getting the full fantasy and being tied every night to a cross and punished for being inferior to all other men. Eventually that would get boring too. You’d need more.

    Let’s be real, the cage doesn’t actually make you do everything. You do that @Mr_anonymous because you too are playing into a fantasy and eventually that seems mundane.

    It seems this way for you, but is it truthful to your wife? Does she actually get to be herself in this scenario you have created? Would it feel mundane if you were living your reality and not chasing the fantasy like everyone else?
    Just some food for thought I guess.
     
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  14. Cuck247
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    I cannot quite understand why anyone would be want to be controlled by someone else in normal life.

    Mnay years since as a cuck my wife started semi feminising me but that was solely sexually, with my consent as we both like it and it was a natural progression. However to live in a FLR not a chance.

    As we are both dominant characters away from our sexuality it would never work for either of us.
     
  15. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    Everybody's different. I'm highly alpha and dominant in the outside world, it's exactly why I am and want to be submissive in my relationship (not just in the bedroom).
     
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  16. Muppet
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    Muppet Long term member

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    Yes exactly we’re all yin and yang, light and shadow. It’s when the shadow is repressed that trouble happens.
     
  17. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    I'll never understand how someone could enjoy watching someone bang their wife. Each their own though
     
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  18. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    Believe me my fantasies don't include 10 hour days at work to come home spend another 2 hours doing house stuff. Furthest thing from it. I do it because it's what she's come to expect. Yes i choose to do it as there's always a choice. In return though a get little rewards here and there and our relationship is way better. That's why I do it.
     
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  19. JamesD
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    JamesD Long term member

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    They say, 'Be careful what you wish for... you just might get it.'
     
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  20. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    Exactly my point. You started doing the housework because you were locked up, it is now the expectation. It didn’t have to be that you did it all, where did that idea come from if not fantasy? Now there is no further room for fun and excitement from that aspect of the power switch.

    If you had caged and just become more naturally postive towards your wife, did a little more and left room for her ‘commands’ you’d feel a lot more excited by it. It wouldn’t feel mundane.

    I’m not criticising, my wife and I fell down the same road and it took a lot to rediscover the balance. A balance she preferred. From this we then moved to a more natural conclusion to our dynamic. She had the freedom to discover a whole lot more of what she wanted, rather than what I gave to her.
    I do less, but it feel a whole lot more of an FLR than before. Maybe it helps that there is a whole lot of whips and chains right now too!
     
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  21. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Makes sense to me.

    Certainly not the only way that people do it, but it seems fairly common in the chastity world.
     
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  22. TomInAustin
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    TomInAustin Long term member

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    Well said. Once the fantasy aspect is over it's just take care of her. It's funny, we were at a friend's house and the wife said, I need a water. I jumped up instantly and got her one. My buddy said, wow, you really have him trained.
     
  23. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    How do you know others don't find that exact scenario uber-exciting?

    Also, as @knightly sensibly says; What you describe is just about real life, even in a normal vanilla kink-unaware relationship.

    They are too busy learning the language of the best murican that ya'll voted for to represent you internationally, grandpa mumblefuck, who challenges airplane stairs the world over. I mean, what is the singe word that defines the noble people of middle murica?

     
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  24. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Great-grandpa and his speech impediment don't scare me. On the other hand, the Trumps, Putins, Orbans, Erdogans, Xis, etc. of the world do scare me. But only because I read history books.
     
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  25. true42
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    This seems to happen a lot these days ...
     
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