It was only one wank!

In the end - relationships really boil down to what works. Hopefully your demands and expectations from him can set things straight.

 

No not really.. Just saying at least in my view there is give and take and some sort of equality in relationships. I wouldn't presume to tell other couples what works since every relationship is different. However both members have certain expectations of what is to occur in the relationship and when those expectations are not met, there will be disapointment. Your disappointment is that you felt a promise was being broken. His disappointment is that the KH isn't doing what he expects and from his point of view she is an inadequate / failing as a partner. There is a lot of talk about the KH being the goddess etc... I just have a hard time seeing how someone would be willing to engage in a onesided long term relationship. Eventually it just wouldn't be worth the sacrifice if your not getting what you need in return.

 

Do you find error in the statement and if so what? I enjoy your comments as they are well thought and of strong opinion.

 

Hi

I would just like to thank the amazing Wives/GFs/KHs that have contributed to this thread. Your contributions have been passionate and real. Often they have been quite personal and raw. Thank you for providing your various perspectives from a woman’s point of view. You are providing valuable insights.


As a chastity rookie, I am a bit reluctant to ‘talk-the-talk’ when I am only just learning to ‘walk-the-walk’.


But for my two cents worth, I have made a commitment to my wife not to wank or cum unless she says I can. So, to me, breaking that commitment is cheating and a breach of trust. Why would my wife want to continue down this path if I can’t be trusted to do what I said I would do? And, just to throw another thought into the melting pot, if I have an unauthorised wank/orgasm, wouldn’t I be cheating myself as well?


As I am new to all this, I haven’t been denied an orgasm for extended periods like other caged guys here. So I am yet to experience what that feels like. But I would like to think I will be able to resist the temptation as I have given my word. If I am weak and cave-in, I get what I deserve. At the moment I’m not caged while a few sore spots recover. But there is no temptation for me to have ‘just one wank.’


These are my thoughts on this issue as it relates to my situation and my relationship with my wife. Whether it is relevant to anyone else is up to them.

Have fun everyone.

@Mandynjack @Breathe @Beautiful and her footman @Joan.t @Cecilia B

 

And what do you think are needed in return? Why telling about sacrifice? Is renounce of masturbation and ejaculation a sacrifice? There's a lot more involved in chastity and it is not any sacrifice, on the contrary it will turn into a bliss once chastity is mastered.
Maybe you have in someway overlooked what this lifestyle is all about: love and caring guidance - not much more than that. The efforts of a KH are rewarded by obedience and respect, what the caged one gets in return is developing its weak personality into something better, growing in every respect.
Don't ever think this kind of relationship is one sided, it fits well Mistress and sub in all aspects of life.

 

Part Deux -

Briefly ...
Honor System TND/OD/FLR has been a way of life for my wife and I for a long time. A recent changing dynamic for us has been the frequency I am allowed permission to ejaculate. It used to average about once every 2 weeks but has become closer to once monthly over the past year. My caving in to my desires had prompted us to order a Lori's.

Many might chuckle when I say its been 2 months since my last O. ... in comparison to others, I am a 'short timer', but its the longest I have ever gone!


Funny story ...
The other day my wife told me she doesn't plan giving me permission until after the Lori arrives.
"Ack! But that could still be another month!!" I exclaimed.
"Thats fine." is all she said with an indifferent shrug.


Point is ...
A few weeks ago (when I surpassed my previous 'record'), I started to feel a shift inside me. I am still on the honor system but -could- wank if I chose to (not with permission of course - and that is Cheating).

But for the first time I find myself able to resist 'giving in' for longer than ever before.
I don't feel like its a sacrifice.
I am finding a bliss in this.
I do feel a stronger person - a better person.
I can't explain it - and don't find the need to figure out why.
My intuition confirms that it 'feels right' - and that is good enough for me.


Thank you all who have shared your experience, strength & hope.

 

Yes and yes. It sounds like what you want is not a spouse/significant other but a piece of raw clay that you can mold into your idea of the ideal partner. If that is true perhaps you should have continued to search until you could find the exact right fit. It might be better for both of you and a lot less work. Since the sexual gratification is so one sided it is easy to say that there will be bliss( at least for one person) and perhaps for some couples the dynamic is considered a "fair trade". I don't see manipulation as caring and guidence nor do I see how someone is growing into someting better if that vision of something better is not your own.

 

My humble opinions- humans are flawed- there are degrees of failure and weakness, and anger and outrage in response should be measured, and if you doubt this then look at your own flaws, even if they're of a different nature- in the end, if there's love, there must be forgiveness (Again, these are opinions, not pronouncements or judgments.)

Not with relation to the kink community, but with society in general, I'm seeing way too many 'unforgivable sins' and rushes to judgment where the winners will be not those with spotless personas, but those who haven't gotten caught. I'll just step off my soapbox now