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Is your mistress soft-hearted?

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by Cincy, Jun 10, 2017.

  1. Yesterday, during a tease and denial session, I went over the edge and had a ruined orgasm...my wife said "I'm not adding another week"! The rule is that if I have an accident, a week is added to my next scheduled orgasm. This is my second mistake in the last couple of weeks, and my last regular orgasm was about three weeks ago.

    Now I know that I am not allowed to break the rules, I also know that she is allowed to break the rules at any time. I don't know if she is being soft-hearted, or in need of a PIV session?
  2. My wife loves me. She is not looking for excuses to punish me. If that were the case I would have been beaten dead by now. :) She is stern when it comes to orgasm denial and when we have sex. Took her 4 years to get that way but in the end, it is only a sex game, one of many we have played over the last 4 decades. In fact, it is the mildest one we have done. I do not end up with burn marks, bleeding welts on my butt or bruises on my face and thighs. Most of all I do not get kicked/slapped/punched in my testicles anymore. All I have to do is forgo orgasms for a long time. I have always been more interested in giving sexual pleasure to women, than receiving it. I feel joy in giving a woman pleasure, especially one I fell in love with at first sight and is my wife for over 44 years. She plays with me and makes sure I do not go over the line from safe to sorry. Most of all I owe her big time for participating in every fetish people know about and sharing her girlfriends with me for most of our marriage. Not many guys can say that they had a few thousand threesomes and for this I turned over control of our sex life to my wife. She does not have to be stern though since I will simply do as she says when it comes to sex.
    DGently likes this.
  3. My key holder is also soft hearted. At most she keeps me for a week and during the last I was supposed to be punished but she let me cum a week early.
  4. my Mistress is lovley and i love Her and i love being Her maid. i know that i sometimes am silly and do the wrong thing and sometimes Mistress gets a bit angry with me and that when i get paddled but it better than Her not bothering with me and being angry with me for ages and ages. and after its over and i have had it and gone in the kitchen in the corner i can come back in the lounge and we am ok again. anyways i'm ok and i'm happy than i was before when i was on my own a lot.
    Xtudo3002, Apfel and (deleted member) like this.
  5. Mistress Jules

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Moderator

    Oct 27, 2013
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    Maybe try looking at it another way gentlemen. She has agreed to play out your sexual fantasy of orgasm denial which basically means no sex for her. So maybe she is a little fed up that you are getting your fantasies come true and she is not.

    One of her options is to cuckold you and go take a lover to get sexual pleasure whilst you live out your chaste fantasy as real life. What is more likely in this day and age is she will get a vibrator, have some fun and then realise that really she would prefer someone who enjoys having sex with her. Divorcee rather than cuckold, not really what you were hoping for is it?

    Be careful what you wish for gentlemen,
  6. Life is full of rules. Don't make sex too complicated I say. If she wants some PIV then get some.
  7. I agree. The biggest thing is two way street. Are both of you satisfied? Communication is everything
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  8. Two weeks since my last orgasm. I know she wants it as bad as I do, but we have set rules. Now, if she says screw the rules and bend me over...then hell yes! I'm going to do what she says. She is getting an orgasm everyday though and sometimes two a day. So, surely she can't be that bad lol. Oh and yes, she's a very loving KH, but she really has turned it up with some of the punishment. She's been reading a couple if different books to help with that
  10. I have to agree with @Mistress Jules@Mistress Jules . Some people assume that giving up control with the use of a chastity device means keeping you denied. In my opinion it's about control. Giving that to someone means it will be used when she wants to. That could be almost never, to all the time. Making it about her is the rule I try to keep in mind. If she has no need of me and is more than happy to use toys or my mouth instead of me that is what we do. If she wants to unlock me and go for a ride twice a day, that is what we do.

    My kh apparently doesn't feel the need for me inside her and it's more of a treat she gives me...I guarantee that if I had an 8 incher that made her howl at the moon...we would be using it exactly as much as she wanted to(more). It just so happens that she prefers the other stuff most of the time.

    Her. Her. Her. Yes I get it that some have a desire to be denied for long periods, but the bottom line is "are you driving or is she?" If she's driving, be quiet and don't tell her how to drive or how to get there.

    That's just us though, many have very set rules that both MUST live by and seem to do just fine. In my experience and from keeping track of people living this way, rules for her, only seem to handcuff the keyholder.
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  11. You bring up a good point which is why often I check with my Wife/KH and ask if she is getting what she needs and is satisfied. We haven't had PIV sex for about 4 months now and I wonder sometimes if she really wants this or if she's just doing it for me. I want to be sure shes getting as much out of our new relationship as I am. Again, excellent point.
  12. Another way to look at it is the rule is another week is added if this happens , and it did, .
    You were expecting her to add another week but she didn't . Doesn't that's show her control and willingness to " play along" ?
    She is in control and told you what she was going to do (in this case not add another week) and maybe your K/H is slowly getting things to how she wants it and how she wants to do it and is taking control (just not in the way you expected ) .
    Everyone is different and every relationship is different and from what I saw in your post your K/H to took a decision about a rule break and instead of punishment or adding extra time she decided not to add any extra time . That's her right as your K/H to change her mind and or the rules as she sees fit and it doesn't always have to be about "adding time" or "punishments" K/H's can play with our minds by doing things like your K/H did .
    Or maybe she knew it was a genuine accident and just decided it wouldn't be fair to add another week and for that .
    Whatever the reason your K/H made a decision ,which is a great thing, and shows she is in control .
    Mash2214 likes this.
  13. How did Shakespeare say it." Ah there is the rub" I so enjoy your words of wisdom @Mistress Jules@Mistress Jules even when you give me a swift kick in the nuts. When us Men stop looking at ways to please our Mistress's and start concentrating on what she can do for us. We're in trouble. This life style was a major change for not only me but also my wife since I've been locked I've instituted vibrators and dildo for her pleasure. She has done so much to make my fantasies into reality lately that I can't thank her enough. I continue to look for more and more ways that I can please her. It can be a win win relationship but it comes with a lot of work Thank You again for your view points even when they hurt
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  14. It has been over a month since I have been locked. I did receive a ruined orgasm 8 days ago. Yet, my Keyholder/Wife has not seen fit to lock up her property. She has her key laying on her nightstand, sees it when she plugs in her phone. She is well aware that I am unlocked, for I have to sleep nude, there is no hiding the doubt that I am wild.

    I do not know what she is up to, but it seemed strange that yesterday when the post came as I started to open a small package while she were talking to our neighbors. She told me to stop, saying it might be something she ordered for me. I didn’t know how to take that, all sorts of things have been crawling around in the head. Now I’m waiting to find out, or is she toying with me?

    The last time I had PIV she ordered me to wear a condom that was April 1, any treat of PIV is a good wonderful thing, at least she didn’t yell “April Fools”, as I got ready to enjoy the luxury she promised.
    She is in the drivers seat, I just wait for her to turn to the destination she wants to go. I'm along for the ride, she'll let me know when we get there. As Nicoftime sates "..it's about control. Giving that to someone means it will be used when she wants to. That could be almost never, to all the time." Nothing else to add, for that is what it is for us, she is in control of the lock up, when and how long.
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  15. Newbie question- What is PIV?
    sissybitch likes this.
  16. piv stands for penis in vagina
  17. Couldn't agree more. Being paddled is far better for the ego than being ignored, is about love and care.