Is there a point when you want to be in a female led relationship too much? It seems to be my lead conversation in almost all the women I meet, I indicate my desire for this type of relationship, it either scares off or I get the ok comments. And then they proceed to ignore the fact I desire this kind of relationship and talk about their desire to be 'dominated" I know relationships have a basic foundation of love trust and respect, I get that and am hapy to build in that, but am I just dreaming if I want the other person to be stronger willed or more confident sexually and in a relationship?
I never try to look needy just honest, I dont want them to think its a normal relationship I am looking for
Maybe getting to know about each other for a while in dimensions other than what kind of relationship you want? Develop some comfort and trust, and a sense of whether you *like* each other first. Yes, your relationship preferences are an important part of who you are, but there's a lot more to you than that, and announcing on a first date what kind of relationship you're looking for -- vanilla or kinky -- might be scaring people off before they get to know whether they like you.
think about what you say from their point of view. Are they going to think "This guy is just too intense"?
I think you expect too much too soon. Are you seriously saying that your lead conversation is about kinky sex.... and your kind of kinky sex, never mind what they may want? I hope you bother to ask their name first? I would expect 99.999% of women to drop you like a hot potato. Of course, you may just find the 0.001% woman. Good luck with that one !!
I don’t tell people I am a submissive gimp that wants to be locked up in the basement encased in rubber. However I do tend to drop in a comment about being attracted to stronger more confident women, this will lead me to ask if they have heard of flr which generally leads into a conversation about it and how it appeals to me. I don’t lead a conversation with, “hey I’m a pervert please like me” I don’t want to be in a 25 yr marriage before I open up to a wife with my desires. Which could either leave to divorce or she may embrace it but still there’s 25years we would have had without that dynamic in the relationship. This attitude will, I guess, inevitably mean I may be alone for the majority of my life and I could compromise for vanilla but I probably won’t. I guess how I started this string ends it, you can want to be in an FLR too much, and I guess I do. It’s my life and I guess I make all my own mistakes alone. Thanks for you time to comment and good luck with your own lives.
Hey there is still time to sort things in your relationships out you have asked a genuine question on here and by doing so you will of course get many different views in the answers, i think most folk will have at least some idea of how things can mess with your mind if allowed to build up inside. I think the moral here is to carry on talking to others on here and take inspiration from some of the success stories of others who have found a workable solution to their own desires, sometimes it takes time to work it out. Dont allow yourself now to close back up and not gain the benefit of sharing your thoughts, the answers you may have recieved may not be the ones you would have liked but they are all at least talking. None of us are perfect and we all need to learn to help each other by hopefully being sensible with our assistance. Stay around and share.
Maybe you didn't provide enough info in your original post? That made you sound as if you are very me me me based and not interested at all in what a potential partner may want from a relationship. Sorry if I didn't say what you wanted to hear.
Thank you all so much, yes different opinions are what make us unique indeed. I will say I don’t apologise for putting out there what I want out of a relationship, I am no spring chick and don’t want to go through the rest of my adult life not achieving somewhat of what I desire. Looking back on my first post I did co e accross as a selfish self centred individual, who as a woman, I more than likely would not date. I take on board all you have said, I do appreciate your comments.
I didn't think you came across as selfish or self-centered, just that you were rushing the initial stages of getting to know potential partners.
There is a lot of room between having this conversation on the first date and having this conversation 25 years into a marriage. Try waiting until the third date, for example.
As rectrix says the first or second dates might be a little too soon to broach these sort of things unless the other person is already giving signals that this is what they are looking for, after you are both comfortable with each others company you should certainly have an idea whether or not they may be open to then discuss things in a little more detail. Life is all about finding a space that you can fit into and hopefully find someone who can also share the same space with you, sometimes getting the right fit can involve waiting and making slight adjustments to get the right fit.
Retrix and slave sloppy thank you for some clarity and perspective, I see where you are pointing to and to most I guess this would be pretty obvious, it hasn’t been to me, I guess like many men can be, I have been too eager to jump into this, I should sit back and enjoy the ride so to speak, of getting to know someone again, not all may be the right fit, but you never know unless you try!