Is the act of sex now an act of humiliation?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Nicoftime, Apr 22, 2022.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Another thread had a similar view, but theirs was more about cumming in cage. I’m talking about actual sex.

    You see for the last couple years, she has let me cum while having sex with her a handful times a year. It’s always after she has already cum, a reward of sorts for me, and specifically meant for me to enjoy myself and not her.

    I am fairly small, and we have both moved past beating around the bush about it or attempting to sugarcoat the reality. I can reach inside her lips, and if I am thrusting really hard can feel it push past what feels like an elastic opening. I last about 20-30 seconds and it’s over. She usually adds in some dirty talk, asking me what it feels like, if I deserve to be inside her, if she deserves to have a real man fuck her, etc.

    So, during my little romp, which is totally a one way pleasure trip, it has become an act of humiliation and submission. The little questions she asks during or leading up to it are most definitely me agreeing with everything she says. I can’t help feel like she’s letting me use her to masturbate.

    I am hardwired differently, so no this doesn’t bother me, in fact total honesty in the bedroom is a major turn on. Probably because of hearing so many lies and false talk…I would rather hear that she can’t feel me at all then listen to someone fake howling and moaning.

    So, anyone else kinda get the feeling that when she allows sex, it’s meant to treat and humiliate?
     
  2. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    I'm glad you and your partner connected.
     
  3. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @Nicoftime it very nice that She lets you do that i think even if it not very often. i am very small as well and my one only go in a bit and when i was let to do it Mistress sayed that it dint make Her feel as nice as with my tonge but i liked it then. i dont have it no more tho. but im ok.
     
  4. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    She hasn't offered PIV sex to me for something like 4 years now, and neither of us really misses my penis in her pussy. She prefers oral from me primarily, and she likes my fingers on occasion. I wouldn't say I get performance anxiety when we did copulate, but I really didn't care for what I considered an act of dominance on my part. However, I did really enjoy it when she would climb on top of me and control the action, and she liked it better as well. That said, no she has never used PIV sex to humiliate or humble me, I pretty much feel that way on my own though!
     
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  5. captivatedbyher
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    captivatedbyher romantic want to be

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    Treat, yes, humiliate no. I fear she is still operating with the mindset that sex is for my pleasure, and Im mostly to blame for that.


    I'm assuming there is a progression a woman goes through to get to where your wife is. When a man starts chastity the lady is programed to think sex is for him, then slowly realizes sex is for me, and arrives to where your at: I love my little man toy.
     
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  6. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    I have felt funny after coming too quickly, but that's a balancing act, and more to do with denial, than my potential performance. I used to take too long for her, and she prefers me quicker. I'm kinda settling in to it being her choice. She knows now that if I've been chaste for a while, then I need a good release then I'm able to hang on the next day for longer. It's tricky to get it just right. One of her only turn ons is us coming together. That's the goal, and was always the goal, except instead of her finishing way before me, then putting up with me for the next 10 minutes. Now I'm holding on. At first it was the wrong kind of humiliation to me. Then I processed and know we are both on the same page. That it is better this way.
     
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  7. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    We hvnt been great when comes to piv sex.. either im too fast or mostly too slow with weak erection.. there has been times when she open her eyes n ask.. r u done.. or .. wat r u doing.. there were times i even unerect while inside her.. i feel inadequate.. n i hv to retreat n ofer to oral her to orgasm.. yes it was frm overmasturbation.. humiliation..? Yes.. it is.. d chastity has been on me since.. but then i perfected d oral pleasure to her.. n i know she likes it..
     
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  8. katemaribell
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    katemaribell New member

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    I think it occasionally, yes!
     
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  9. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    Yes i feel humiliated when i ask for sex, I dont get PIV now, what she will do is straddle my face and masturbate me whilst making me tongue her pussy until she cums......once she's had her orgasm, she stops masturbating me and moves forward slightly and tells me " if you want to cum you'll have to tongue my ass whilst you masturbate yourself, as my arm aches now and i cant be bothered to wank you"
     
  10. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    For sure! When @MistressAMA allows PIV, it's part-and-parcel of our D/s relationship.

    It only happens when She wants it and i am required to ask permission to enter Her. She knows that i can come anytime She wants, for to usually being caged. If She lays really still, i can usually stay in for quite a while, but if She does a little twist that i can't really explain, i will need to back out quickly or go over the edge. I can ask and even beg to be allowed to climax, but it's always clear to both of us that She makes the decision on Her own. So PIV is packed with humiliation and submission for me.

    asa
     
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  11. CuriousAndy
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    CuriousAndy Long term member

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    I wouldn't say humiliating but it can be a bit embarrassing, I cum so quickly after all the denial. It's like having sex for the first time, getting too excited and totally messing it up.
     
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  12. Guest 6019
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    Guest 6019 Long term member

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    As long as my tongue has made her come first, I'm ok with being quick. But if, after a longer period of denial she doesn't come and I do, that affects me, and is a bit humiliating in a way that has a negative effect on me. Funnily enough I just discussed this with my wife, to avoid the feeling again, as it has been playing on my mind after more than two weeks without an orgasm. I don't want our first contact (she hasn't required anything either...sad face...) to disappoint us both.
     
  13. CuriousAndy
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    CuriousAndy Long term member

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    We have a long standing practice of she cums first. But I still feel bad about about being so quick, I'd love for the crescendo to be long slow and mind blowing for her. With more frequent sex I can last a lot longer and it feels like much more of an event.

    Maybe with your wife you could discuss a ladies first plan for when she's in the mood, you'd only proceeds to the sex bit after she has an orgasm, if that doesn't happen for her then no unlock, snuggles and try again another time.
     
  14. madams-sissysub
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    For us, a act of humiliation is a act of sex!
     
  15. NEsubhub
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    NEsubhub Long term member

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    Though PIV isn't intended to humiliate me, I usually does.
    1) I don't get much of a reaction when I enter her.
    2) No matter how hard it try, I still orgasm in a minute or less.
    In general, my inability to deliver a satisfying PIV experience is embarrassing.
     
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  16. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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  17. katemaribell
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    katemaribell New member

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    In fact, this problem is solved very simply. Everyone knows that in our modern world, there are many wonderful toys for sex. I would recommend you to buy something like https://kinkazoid.com/realistic-vaginas/. This incredible device will allow you to feel the sea of pleasure and give you self-confidence. Your orgasm should not depend on someone's body) I'm sure if you try, you will be delighted.
     
  18. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    My size is more than adequate for her although we have some big toys that come out every once in a while where I’ll wear the strap on and she is obviously way more reactive to those. She clearly loves the feel of me but like a lot of you I tend not to last very long… but then other times I do, I can’t quite figure that out. Oddly enough when I’m wearing my belt, it doesn’t make me nearly as sensitive when she unlocks and uses me versus when I’ve worn ball trap devices I’ve owned. I’ve come out of the belt after weeks of being locked and been able to last 5-10 minutes, although I realize that’s not exactly a record breaker lol. Right now I’m just on the honor system and I know if she were to play with me I would cum in that minute or less time frame. I’m not really sure why my behind Barz belt desensitizes me but to some extent I’m happy about that. On the other hand most of the time my wife encourages me to cum quickly. I’m not sure if that’s because I just don’t pleasure her the right way with the real deal or if it’s the power trip of making me cum so quickly or a combo of both. I’m capable of giving my wife an O with my penis as it has happened many times before but the elements have to be just right. Problem is, is that as soon as she starts to cum I cum instantly and most of the time go soft, so even though she came it’s not like she gets to ride it out which can be humiliating for me. Like I said before, she enjoys making me cum quickly so I do believe it’s a bit of a power and humiliation thing but I wonder if that’s derived from my lack of ability to give her multiple orgasms with my actual penis anymore due to chastity. Either way it plays out for the mindfuck…
     
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  19. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Take heart, friend. That happens sometimes to everyone ...
     
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